Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

My annual snow watching activities have begun again in earnest, last months unusually early snowfall managed to skirt around the edge of gemmak's-ville and miss us completely.... and last year the single day of snow we did have, I managed to be away elsewhere for and there was not a sign of it left when we returned back home!

My obsession with love of the white stuff is well documented here over the years though what usually happens as the norm is that I watch all the weather models avidly, get thoroughly excited and then it doesn't....snow that is. Just one year surely we must have some proper, decent, impressive snowfall, I can't remember the last time I saw more than a dusting....well actually I can, it was thirteen years ago. Too long, too long!

So, this weekend the models and charts are looking good, a 40-60% likelihood of snowfall is forecast here and some right into next week, the temperature and pressure trends are all doing the right thing (ok, yes, I am a weather anorak) and it's looking like snow is a real possibility .... and guess what, we are going away again!

If it happens and I miss it I won't be a happy blogger...that's much worse than it not happening at all...that said we aren't going far so fingers and toes remain firmly crossed.

Please let it snow! :o)

Depressed economy!

You know, I am heartily sick of hearing about money at the moment!

It's not so much that I don't have any, though a little more would be kinda nice, it's that somehow it feels like absolutely everything in this world depends on it right now! The reality is, to the economists among you out there, that it does, it's a fact I know, that the harsh reality is that money makes the world go around but we seem to be completely obsessed with it of late....there is nothing but financial doom and gloom in the media, everyone is in some degree of panic over interest rates, debt, rising prices or any other number of understandably worrying financial considerations. The government that tells us we are in this situation because of debt wants now to get into more debt itself, the jobless figures are rising daily, the politicians are still more interested in in-fighting than actually getting to grips with the real issues and we at the sharp end just keep on adjusting our lifestyles to accommodate!

But there are other things in life and just maybe it would be nice if occasionally we focused on those, a little time spent concentrating on what we do have rather than what we don't have might just be a nice idea and help give us the positive attitude and uplift needed to sustain ourselves through all the doom and gloom!

P.S. I love you

Fletch arrive home from work yesterday evening weighed down with bags, this is most unusual, shopping during lunch is unsurprisingly not his preference, he has 'Ms Stayathome' here for all that routine domestic malarkey stuff and so I was much intrigued.

As he walked through the door I was instructed not to go into the kitchen and to turn off my computer, the evening was to be a special one for me, I was to relax and do nothing, not so much as make a cup of coffee. This was not an instruction I found hard to comply with! Recently I have been feeling a bit less than chipper, a bit down in the mouth and miserable so himself, love him had planned a special evening in for me!

The bags contained a plethora of all my favourite foods for an indoor picnic, I love indoor picnics, including the most excellent chunk of Roquefort, which was to die for, a heap of other cheeses (you will guess I have a passion for cheeses) olives, pastrami, salami, a bottle of good wine and a big fat squishy chocolate cake!

We stuffed the picnic happily, Fletch tidied up, made coffee etc. and then pulled out of his bag of tricks a DVD, 'P.S. I love you', a film I have long wanted to see but is usually off the 'joint film watching menu'....chick flicks are for chicks he reasons! ;o) So, not only had he actually purchased a chick flick for me, he then, beyond the call of any man's duty sat and watched the whole thing, without humorous interjection, cuddled up on the sofa!

More wine was consumed, chocolate cake with the thickest cream was devoured and when the film, which I loved and cried through most of, was over we listened to music and chatted and giggled the rest of the evening away until late into the evening.

A lovely, lovely evening, I didn't lift a finger! I was stuffed full of my favourite foods, lightheaded from the wine and thoroughly cheerful.... at this point I think, if this were a 40's discreet, black and white movie the lights would go down and the credits would roll! ;o)


*P.S. I love you.

Fat face!

Sunday afternoon we took a quick trip to the Hamster treat store....somehow we managed to exit fifteen minutes later and almost £20 lighter, yes, £20 just on hamster necessities and the odd little nutritious snack!!

I am convinced that, like 'catnip' there must also be 'Hamster nip' out there, the manufacturers just don't tell us but the strangely most expensive of the fare, a wooden roll stuffed to the gunnels with a honey and carrot concoction, caused three hours of mayhem. She just would not leave it alone and instead, despite it being official hamster nighttime and the item being twice her size, she lugged it backwards and forwards, dragged it up and down, turned it over and back again and clawed, scratched and chewed at it manically until every last morsel was safely 'pouched' and removed to a safe food hiding place...all with a daft,dazed look on her fat face!

Three hours! Non stop! Pouch after pouch load...and what pouches, she looked at some stages completely and utterly deformed! Surely carrot and honey alone can't illicit such behaviour! I'm sure they must sneak into these things some highly addictive, cat-nip-like substance! ;o)

Out of the mouths of babes

Yesterday evening we and a few friends were invited for dinner at the home of another of our little 'evenings out drinking way too much gang'. This promised to be an interesting culinary experience, 'M' is originally from Dominica and had promised us all authentic Caribbean fare.

Mindful though that his own skills in the kitchen are er, 'infamous' he had charged two of his sisters with journeying up from their homes in central London to chef for the evening!....and what a grand job they did! The food was absolutely fabulous though for yours truly, a very slowly recovering, lifetime veggie, a dish of goat was just one step too far and an 'opportunity' to try something new that I bottled without hesitation!

The evening was a lovely one, much eating, drinking, laughter and stupidity though with an early moment that one just couldn't help being amused at (see, there's my sick sense of humour raising it's head again!) after the event.

One of the guests had with her her eight year old daughter, one of the most delightful children I think I have ever met. Polite, chatty, articulate and well behaved, this kid went to bed at 9 without so much as hint of nonsense, I was impressed! She had been allowed in return for her promised good behaviour to watch The X Factor. This was a 'treat' that was completely lost on me and never having seen it I asked what it was all about.

Her mother gave me a brief explanation of what it is to be an X Factor contestant, adding at the end amusingly that it seems all contestants have to, besides having some 'talent', also have a tragic life story to go with it, hopefully one assumed to illicit the sympathy vote if the talent aspect fails them!

At this point delightful small child piped in, full of jollity and in that 8 year old matter of fact way that they have, "I could be on the X Factor then, I have a tragic life story, my dad died when I was one and a half years old"!!!

*Insert moment of stunned, embarrassed silence*

Now I already knew this, but the other guests didn't, hence I managed to recover my thoughts and control my amusement at her so innocently dropping this bombshell into the middle of the previously light hearted conversation quicker than the others and hit back in that stunned moment of silence with, "ah yes, but can you sing?!"

Moment over, conversation resumed, inaudible sigh of relief around the room.

Out of the mouths of babes and all that...can't help but love it!

I can haz flowerz!

Ack!

The women among you will need no further explanation than the title! Sorry guys but this one is gonna be completely lost on you.


This little trauma, the result of an altercation with the fridge door last night, is more than annoying! ;o)

I have a complete dislike of my nails being differing lengths and so the rest had to be dealt with too....the result, I can't type (even more typos), I can't pick things up, I can't open tins and things, worse still rolling a cigarette is a feat of endurance (yes, not a very feminine passtime I know) and my finger ends, that rarely actually manage to make contact with anything because the nails are in the way, are getting sore from sudden use! I always have nails, my very dexterity depends on them!

And yes, they are real and no they aren't french manicured, they are just white like that naturally.....one of the few positive side effects of a long standing medical condition!

Ack! Ack! Ack!

Don't be fooled!

Whilst I suspect that the acquisition of a hamster in your life is probably not top priority, the slightest possibility that it may be at some point in the future requires that I warn you of a route not to take! That route is one Fletch and I fell into spectacularly.....the marketing of the required hamster 'pied a terre', specifically the 'Habitrail Ovo', must have hamster home.

It might look pretty funky as hamster homes go, it might be fun for it's resident and it might include a silent wheel but what the marketing does not tell you is that to clean it (which is a twice weekly necessity) requires it to be dismantled into this monstrous heap of 71 parts, all requiring washing, drying and then re-assembling! Really, 71 cats would be less hassle!

Un surprisingly cleaning and reassembling duties are designated as 'woman's work' in gemmak's-ville but from time to time 'himself' considers extension options and opportunities for this residence, to include further rooms for superior hamster entertainment and the ultimate hamster lifestyle.

Ummmmm.....let me think about that one! ;o)

An odd incident

I discovered yesterday, when I was suddenly witness to a slightly strange 'accident' that I have a nasty side, or at least something of a questionable sense of humour on occasion!

I had a few errands to run in town and out I went into the sunny but chilly morning to go about my business. It was quite busy, all the usual day to day goings on, nothing to report when suddenly a few feet ahead of me on the pavement all hell broke loose. Jarred out of my own thoughts by the commotion I was met with a sight that really wasn't funny at all.....but that I just couldn't help but be amused by, albeit I though better I not display my amusement at the time!

On the ground lay an elderly woman, she had it transpired been selling poppies, when some old chap riding one of those three wheeled, electric scooter thingies just drove into her like she wasn't there!

Now I know that's not really funny at all, and it became less funny as time went on and it became apparent she was actually injured quite considerably, but the mere fact that anyone could just drive one of those machines into someone and knock them over, somehow seemed to my apparently warped mind, funny at the time. I mean, you just don't see them as high powered vehicles of destruction do you!! To be honest, the only concern I had ever considered before was for those that choose to ride them on the road among traffic, which always seems tantamount to a suicide mission to me.

The situation only became worse to my strange sense of humour. An excellent first aider had appeared from out of a shop and was ministering to the lady still prone on the floor, so I asked a bystander who seemed to be involved somehow, if anyone had called an ambulance. No he said, instead he had sent someone [insert name here, I forgot the name he said but he said it like I should know whoever it was!] to 'fetch the community police officer'. Hmmmm...this just seemed even funnier, so community police officers carry spine boards and neck braces now do they? Why hadn't he just called an ambulance?

The Community bobby duly arrived.....and promptly called an ambulance, 10 minutes wasted, lady still semi conscious on the floor! Offending 'motorist' still parked up where he had come to a halt, protesting his innocence and completely blocking any access.... and first aider still trying to do her thing among all the commotion of what had now become a rather large audience.

By this time I felt I couldn't be of any help, I was just another person in the way but when I tried to leave the community bobby asked me to stay until he had taken my details as a witness, he had obviously forgotten I had already told him I didn't actually witness the incident.

A few minutes later a paramedic arrived in a car, took one look, when he could finally get to the patient via a circuitous route around the still in the way electric scooter...and called an ambulance! Crowd of rubbernecks still swelling.

Enough...I told the bobby my number and left.....with this surreal scene in my head that somehow I still couldn't help feeling had a funny side, if only because it had been so surreal!

Please, don't get me wrong, there was nothing whatsoever amusing about the poor lady who had been doing her bit on a chilly morning selling poppies, now lying injured on the ground, but the manner in which it had happened and the ensuing chaos were funny as hell.....ok, maybe I'm sick but as I walked away I caught some guy's eye and the look on his face said I wasn't the only one!

Sweet revenge!

As one who has had so much hassle with 'spam calls', we are talking 20 or more calls a day with no one on the other end here, despite registering with the appropriate authorities to have it stopped, I found this little missive that arrived in my inbox more than a little amusing!

I think we should all make a concerted effort! ;o)

GETTING OUR REVENGE ON THE TELESALES PESTS.

Three Little Words That Work!!

1. The three little words:

'Hold On, Please...'

(Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear BT's 'beep-beep-beep' tone,
you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset .... You have efficiently completed your task.

These three little words could help eliminate telephone soliciting.

2. Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is then used to determine the best time of day for a 'real' salesperson to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering: If you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!

3. When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mailfor everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-prepaid return envelopes, right?

It costs them more than the regular postage 'IF' and when they are returned.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-prepaid return envelopes .

Send an advert for your local chimney sweeper to American Express. They might need one!

Send a pizza coupon to HSBC ... in case their canteen packs up. You get the idea.

If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them back their blank application form ... After all, it is their form!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you return.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them, and it is their envelope after all . You are just returning it!!!

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the post, but folks ..... We need to OVERWHELM them, in order to stop them.

Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail,and best of all they're paying for it ...Twice!

Let's help keep Royal Mail busy. Since the Royal Mail are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, let's help them so they will not need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work....maybe you'll get very little junk mail anymore.

Just a little bit of toast!

Unusually yesterday morning Fletch asked if I would like some breakfast, I think he had deduced by this time, it was pretty late for breakfast I have to admit, that if he wanted anything he was going to have to make it himself on this occasion, so he headed for the kitchen and the conversation went something like this;

Fletch: Do you want some toast?

Me: Yes please.

Fletch: What do you want on it?

Me: [Trying to make life simple] Anything.

Fletch: No, what do you want?

Me: Anything, really, I don't mind.

Silence....

Three minutes later this is what I got!


One slice with a pickled onion on it and another with a solitary olive sitting atop it!

Yes, very funny Fletch! ;o)

Don't you just love a smart ass!

Maru the cat

You know those days when you can think of absolutely nothing to blog...this is one of them, so instead I give you Maru the Cat, a very amusing Scottish Fold living in Japan who has his own blog and penchant for squishing himself into a tight space!



More here.

Does my bum look big in this?

For JW (you should never dare me) who requested a 'does my bum look big in this' picture of something from the 'freebie wardrobe' I acquired on Wednesday....voila, designer jeans.

Don't say I never do as I am asked! ....and don't answer the question, it was rhetorical, besides which none of me is very big..... unfortunately not even the bits I would like to be!


*Fletch, don't even think about saying it!

A birthday and a big bag!

Yesterday I went to my parents for the day. It's been way too long since I managed to get there, between holidays and hospital appointments (my dad has been a bit poorly) somehow we just hadn't managed to get together for almost two months but finally yesterday we made it at last!

The 5th November is not only Guy Fawkes night but in our family a more important date too, it is my mums birthday and as a consequence there was a small amount of celebrating to be done by way of good food, pretty fireworks courtesy of my brother who I also haven't seen for an age, and much, much gloriously extreme chocolate cake!

It was a lovely day with some serious gossiping, catching up on all things family and much laughter... and there was an added bonus for me too. My sister in law, who has a 'bob or two' and who has a penchant for designer clothing is also, as luck would have it, the same size as me and had been having one of her occasional, 'there's no room left in the wardrobe' turn-outs. This is a good thing because far from it being one of those embarrassing moments when an old aunt presents you with a bag of hideous items that would otherwise 'only go to Oxfam' that you somehow, desperately have to politely decline, my SIL's bags of 'do you want any of these, I don't have room for them' items are like an early Christmas!

.....and as a consequence I left for my long, late night drive home clutching a big bag of almost new, mostly designer gear, worth originally a four figure sum, that all fitted like a glove and that I would have chosen myself if I ever had that kind of money!

Result! :o)