Thank God it's Christmas!

The last few weeks have been pretty tough going in gemmak's-ville one way and another. The pressures on my time between trying function at work, take care of my mum, fit in all the getting ready for Christmas stuff and find time to spend with 'N' have been immense and there have been moments when I felt that all the balls in my personal piece of air might well come crashing down around me.

I discovered that working outside in sub zero temperatures form 5am each day fighting the the snow and ice is very hard work, I feel literally 'assailed' by the elements at the end of it and my love of snow has, I will admit has waned a little on and off. I have landed on my rear on more than one occasion, I have been cluttered up in so many layers I could hardly move, I have spent more time than I care to remember with my now trusty shovel in hand digging either my car or my van out and I have scared myself half to death hitting, black ice late at night a day or two ago and suddenly finding myself doing a rather spectacular 360 along the A40! Luckily because of the time there was little traffic around to avoid and I managed to regain control before I hit anything static either.

I don't recommend it however!

I'm reasonably experienced, I know the 'driving on ice and snow' rules and I employed the given tactics but it happened in a split second and was completely beyond my control for what felt like far too long.

Give me snow every time, it's a walk in the park in comparison to ice.

But hopefully all the hassle is over now for a while. I have twelve days off work, my mother is mainly in the care of my siblings for the next three days and I am spending Christmas with 'N'. It's still all a bit odd without my dad, he was usually the motivating force in our family Christmas's but that's a done deal, life changes and swe have to try to change with it.

All I have to attend to now is the present wrapping issue, I bought cards but they remain unwritten in boxes so my apologies if you usually get one, this year you won't. I have one or two items I need to try and buy later today and then hopefully life will calm down for a few days.


Thank God it's Christmas.....

Brrrrrrr!!

Dammit it's cold!

The last two weeks or so I have been working day in and day out, outside and the novelty of sub-zero temperatures is wearing pretty thin I can tell you. Taking the windchill factor into account, most days I have been 'enjoying' something in the region of minus 13 to 15 degrees...and I don't do cold!

Yes, I get to clamber in and out of the white van umpteen times a day but whether it's better to keep it warm or cold itself is something else that's not a cut and dried issue. if it's cold it's cold and I get no let up but if it's warm then the constant change in temperature gives me a headache. Mostly I keep it mid range and achieve nothing spectacular.

I have kitted myself out at great expense in high performance, high end, all weather gear which helps but it's still too bloody cold for words, I don't have a single draught point and only my eyes (which stream most of the time) and my finger ends are exposed but I'm still too damn cold and I bear rather too much resemblance to the Michelin WoMan!

All that and for what, we have had only two days snow....how unfair!

And yes, those of you who envied me my outdoor job in the hot summer months may now snigger heartily for now I am suffering payback!

I spoke too soon!

What is it they say about pride coming before a fall?

Yesterday among my other wittering, I mentioned that work was going well.... and it was. Finally, we (that's my boss and myself) had got enough new business to warrant my employ, I was making enough money to keep the bean counters happy and all was well.

Something had to go wrong didn't it. I mean, to expect more than one good day was asking a little too much wasn't it?

What happened? Today, yes, I am well aware it is the 13th, I managed to wreck my van! Ergh....and it was all going so well.

Don't ask me how exactly, I suppose if we knew how then accidents wouldn't happen but myself and another vehicle failed to see one another and reversed into each other. Damage to his vehicle almost zero, damage to mine, probably enough to write it off and if not then it will be a close run thing.

Now here is the rub, he perhaps had some excuse, I am a small white van....I however do not, his vehicle was a bright red articulated lorry!

FFS! How on earth did I not see that???

Whatever, I didn't see him, I can only imagine that somehow he was just in my blind spot because even with the realisation that I had made signifigant contact with something, when I looked in my mirrors to see what it was, I still couldn't see him. I won't bore you with a diagram but it is feasible.....that doesn't stop me being thoroughly p*ssed off about it, or my boss with me!

One thing I notice has been consistent, I got my recent speeding ticket when I was under heavy pressure of time to make my next call and again today I was under pressure to get somewhere in a stupidly short period. driving and stress are not good companions in me it appears.

All that aside however, I hate making mistakes and I should have seen a b-i-g r-e-d t-r-u-c-k somehow! I am paid to drive, not drive into things!

Me, stiff shoulder, sore neck and very hurt pride.

Bum!

Pedestrians crossing

So, there I am this morning beetling around a large industrial estate in my white van when suddenly i am forced to pull up hard behind a Porche that has apparently stopped without warning and is showing hazard warning lights.

At first there was no obvious reason for this slightly odd behaviour and I was marginally miffed as to what he was up too.... but a few moments later all became apparent as mum and her offspring appeared from in front of the vehicle, apparently all en-route for someplace else.

Her choice of crossing was perhaps not her wisest move but all made it to the other side of the road intact :)


(Apologies for image quality, click to enlarge, photography by phone whilst trying to manoeuvre is not the best way to get a decent shot!)

Can we get back to normal now ?

That's it then, all the festive malarkey is over, the New Year shenanigans are done and dusted and we stumble forward into 2009 full of hope, happiness and hangovers!

It's an odd thing New Year, I've always found it a bit of a 'non-event', something we anticipate somehow as offering a chance to celebrate, the magical midnight hour that will herald something special but of course doesn't.... and as it chimes and we kiss complete strangers while we are jostled shoulder to shoulder at one event or another, nothing actually changes except the date on the calendar!

I don't view this as a 'bah humbug' attitude, it's just how I see it, the changing of the year changes nothing, one is much the same as another, some good, some bad, some trials and tribulations and some smiles and happiness, though hopefully a larger percentage of the latter rather than the former and with a little luck one or two special highlights.

So what of my 2008? Some good some bad. My highlights? The top spots....I got to move in with the love of my life, TP survived massive surgery for usually inoperable cancer spectacularly, and continues to deal with the ongoing treatment equally spectacularly, I got to meet my best friend Lisa for real at last, I left the white van from hell firmly residing in my past, I got to see a bit more of the world and drive Stelvio Pass and I began what will hopefully be my next little menagerie with the acquisition of Hammy.

The lowlights....probably best forgotten but including of course TP's original diagnosis and the fact that rendering oneself unemployed at the front end of a recession is not professionally wise perhaps!

Regrets.....none, I don't do regrets, I live by my heart and I live for the small pleasures, I do what my heart says is important and it's only in not doing things that we have regrets.

And what of 2009? I don't have aspirations as such, I have one or two private hopes and dreams but I can fail quite well enough thankyouverymuch without setting myself up, so I potter into 2009 enjoying the small things, braced for the bad bits should any occur, hoping for maybe one or two highlights and thankful for what I have, which is where the title of this post comes in....if you enjoy 'normal' it has to be a good thing!

Back to reality.....

......in a small way.

So, it's been two weeks since the white van became history and there have been a few vaguely possible new jobs crop up but nothing really suitable, so as of next week I begin the new (to me) business of temping. The days of being a lady (??) of leisure and playing housewife are beginning to be a thing of the past.

Thus far I have only two days work next week covering for a receptionist in a solicitors office but hey, anything is better than the dole and even two days work pays me more than the government would! I promise you, after the last and only time I went the government handout route, I'm in absolutely no hurry to go through that humiliation again!

Hmmmm...receptionist, that means of course I have to get suited and booted, I don't 'do' that, or at least I haven't had to for years, heels, girly clothes, make-up and all that palaver aren't things I relish, it just doesn't feel like 'me' but needs must and by definition it is only 'temporary'!

Now...where's the job that allows me to wear jeans and boots? ;o)

The tale of Prince Albert!

So, probably the last tale from the white van is of an 'incident' on Thursday morning.

When I first applied for the job they went to great pains to ask me to convince them that I could cope with my particular 'clientele'....the previous four women who had undertaken the job had shot through in a matter of weeks, or less.

Selling sandwiches from a van might not seem a particularly concerning occupation on the face of it but the round I did was in the main to building sites, factories and brick works. All my customers, with the exception of two, were men, and oft times men with little or no finesse, absolutely no idea what political correctness is and even less understanding of the meaning of the phrase sexual harassment!

As a consequence I ran the gamut daily of crass jokes, innuendo and outright suggestion but whilst they knew pretty quickly that I was 'up for a laugh' and perfectly capable of being one of the lads, they also learned just as quickly that there were boundaries which they weren't gonna be allowed to cross. In short they could say what they wanted but touching was out. Hell, if you had ever seen me at 6 in the morning in my very 'non- haute couture' uniform I can only say that those that tried must have been somewhat desperate!

There was one guy in particular. I was used to him, kinda felt sad for him, his life had been a tale of horrendous happenings that had culminated in a serious head injury as the result of an RTA. He had a big alcohol problem and he was volatile to put it mildly, though in an odd way he seemed to think I was his friend, maybe because I listened to him talk of his troubles often.

On Thursday, as usual, he came telling me his latest tale of woe. Apparently last weekend he had the not very bright idea that to have a Prince Albert piercing might be a cool idea, ok he was probably so drunk he would barely have noticed it being done but subsequently it seems it had become infected.

I tried without laughing to sound concerned and offer suggestions as to what he might do about it....like go to the bloody doctor, but he was not convinced and without a byyourleave or an excuseme proceeded to show me the 'offending item'!!

Oh lovely!....I have encountered more pleasant experiences and sights before breakfast in my time but he looked a little confused at my comment that maybe I wasn't the best person to be showing this too and the idea that it might be just a little inappropriate was completely lost on him!!!

'Moving' on

So, the days of the white van are over, there are one or two more tales from that nasty but occasionally amusing era I will likely regale you with in the near future but for the time being they can wait, it's the weekend and I have other fish to fry (no Lisa not carp! ;o))

Ok, let's be a little more specific here.

Yesterday was quite a significant day in my little life, for more reasons than the demise of the white van.

The job having been dispensed with in relative silence, because once my notice had been given my delightful employer decided to relegate me to the status of persona non grata,(not surprisingly there was a very definite lack of 'goodbye and good luck' speeches) the true purpose of the day got underway.....that of moving house, which might go some way to explaining my sudden state of voluntary unemployment. Really, though it might surprise you I am not quite mad enough to ditch one job without another to go to with no good reason, the reasons just couldn't be blogged until all interested parties were personally informed.

So, 'post employment' I loaded my little car with all my worldly possessions, there are not many, I have moved so often over the years I have learned to 'travel light' and much was left in Scotland never to be seen again, bid au revoir to my parents and hit the motorway en route for a new home and a new life near Cambridge.

Those of you who read this regularly or know me well may draw your own conclusions from the geographical location and will very likely draw the correct conclusion, but I will say no more other than on Monday, the full time occupation of finding a full time occupation begins in seriousness and today a new phase in my life is beginning.

:o)))

The end!

Finally, having endured it for almost fifteen months, today is the last time I will ever have to haul this confounded van (yes I'm hiding in a country lane right now blogging from my phone) and it's contents around the area. Six hours from now I get to hand the keys to the white van from hell back to the employer from hell and consign the whole unhappy episode to the list of memories I'd rather forget! :-) Six hours.... and counting!

The end of the road

It's a Monday, and unusually a good Monday, because this morning didn't involve the regular 4am, 100 mile drive to work from Cambridge and because I have the day off....for a purpose.

The white van from hell is about to become history, decisions have been made and the decision is that I have had enough....today I am resigning!

It may not be the ideal situation to resign from one position without another to go to but it is necessary in this case. I have saved a little money to 'keep me going' and this morning I am off to an agency to begin finding a new employer, one that doesn't run a shonky fleet of white vans and hopefully adheres to a greater degree of current employment legislation than I have had to endure these last fourteen months!

It's all rather unusual and a little of my glee at being able to tell them I am abandoning my van at the end of the week has been tempered by the fact that they have only last week suffered a family trauma, so my timing might not be too excellent from their point of view but hey, when they treat me like crap their 'excuse' is that 'this is business'....so the new (trying to be) braver and more assertive me is merely returning the favour! ;o)

White van surfing!

Call me am addict but this I like! Courtesy of Opera mini and an unlimited data package (very reasonably priced I might add) here I am sitting in a picturesque lane in the white van from hell blogging and surfing to my little hearts content! :-) Yes it's a tad on the fiddly side and hardly high speed but it does help relieve the boredom of the average white van day. Ok... I suspect my employer wouldn't approve but my employer does nothing to earn my loyalty sufficiently that my concience has any difficulty with this new found passtime! ;-)

Good news is no news!

Years ago I made a conscious decision not to watch, read or listen to the news any longer in any real depth, my reason, it was way too miserable, rarely was anything positive reported, it was all doom and gloom and I didn't need it in my life. Yes, I scanned the headlines and looked slightly further if any major story broke but that was it....I became a very definite 'news dunce'.

And then I started to drive the white van from hell for a living, this is not, as one would expect, an intellectually fulfilling occupation, eight hours a day behind the wheel with only intermittent small talk for entertainment, is not a mind occupying way of life by any one's standards so to alleviate the boredom I found myself listening to the news on the radio all day long.

This 'news thing' seems now to have become a small obsession, I wait with baited breath for the half hourly bulletins, I check interesting stories on my phone because I can't wait for the next bulletin to be broadcast, I read much of many of the newspapers I carry, I sit in Nero's after work and read the Times frequently and after reading my email, the BBC news page is probably my most frequently surfed web page these days, I can waste hours jumping from one story to another embroiled in numerous items of news!

I'm not sure if all this is a good thing or a bad thing. Ok, so perhaps I am better informed than I was and distracts me from the boredom of the white van but one thing certainly hasn't changed over the years.....very little cheerful or positive is ever reported, it's still all doom and gloom, probably now on an even greater scale than years ago when I decided on my 'news blackout', it's still depressing in the main, the political machinations still wind me up and I find myself huffing and puffing to myself frequently, at the stupidity of those charged with running this world we inhabit.

As they say 'good new is no news' in a world where sensationalism seems to prevail and it's damn hard on occasion to remember that for the most part human beings are nice things that behave reasonably!

But for all that I can't help but listen/watch/read the news day in and day out.....hell, somehow it's almost addictive.

Perhaps I'm just a glutton for punishment!


*************************************
N.B.

'ANDREX'....the piglet!

Talking of no good news....here is some! Ok, not on a world importance scale but hey, we have to be thankful for small (no pun intended) mercies! :o)



What I want to know though is how someone thought that was funny!

Odd aint it....

...this life malarky?

You know those rare moments, when out of the blue from the haze of confusion and questions that usually muddle one's mind comes a sudden, clear realisation that hits squarely between the eyes and momenarily provides insight....well today, as I drove my white van (I do my thinking behind the wheel of that van, maybe not a good time but hey...) I had one of those moments.

I was marvelling at the beauty that two days and nights of frost and sub zero temperatures had bestowed on the countryside, it was almost like snow, white covering every surface and glittering in the winter sunlight, amazingly intricate ice crystals clinging to every surface like tiny diamonds set against the backdrop of blue sky and fallen autumn leaves and I realised in that moment that for the last year or so life seems to have been about survival not living.

It feels as though I have had many personal mountains to climb, almost daily I find myself trying not to worry about one thing or another, not to allow myself to feel for fear of where that might lead me, not to look either side of my usual conciousness in case that raises further concerns. There have been some of my bleakest moments and blackest thoughts and I've had to fight hard sometimes for my sanity. It has been a time of very low low's but also some very high high's and I have survived but I don't want to merley survive, I want to live, I want to notice more of the good and the beauty around me and not get lost in the mire of my mind and my thoughts.

There are millions of people in this world who truly have to fight for their whole lives just merely to stay alive and survive, to put food in their mouths and to escape disease, famine and war and they bear difficulties as a matter of course, year in and year out, that we in the Western world can't even begin to imagine.

In comparison my mountains pale into insignifigance, that doesn't necessarily make them less painful to me but sometimes a sight of particular beauty, a small unexpected kindness, a reminder of just how much there is out there to enjoy, if only we take the time to look for it and to actually see it, allows us to see beyond the bounds of our usual and individual thought processes and be thankful for what we have, however little or much that might be in usually accepted terms.

The epitome of selfishness

One of my calls in the white van from hell is to a group of five builders who undertake small-ish renovation works, as they move from job to job every few weeks so do I. Currently they are renovating a cottage at the head of a private road in the middle of the countryside. This is their first week on the job and all has not run smoothly.

The road is an unmade track and a dead end and is accessed from a country lane, there are two small cottages at the head and a large country house at the other end, approximately a mile away, the owner of which also owns the lane and all the surrounding acres of land.

This 'lady' is just about everything I dislike in someone, very faux upper class, the horsey type with a mouth full of plumbs and 'sensibly' dressed in green wellies, a riding jacket, head-scarf and with a severe haircut dragged back off her forehead with a kirby grip.

She has a problem it seems with the builders, apparently their three cars that are parked at the top of the lane are 'destroying the grass verge (there is none) and disrupting here peace and quiet' and the small earth moving vehicles required for the job are 'an abomination'....add to that my small van that is there for five minutes a day is a 'nuisance'!

There have been, between builders and 'Lady Muck', a number of 'disagreements' over the last few days, she told them to move their vehicles onto the road (thereby causing and obstruction on the narrow lane) and to be finished with the earth movers (they are very small, these are not of road building proportions)within the week. They tried in vain to explain that the cars would be a hazard and would likely have their expensive tools stolen from them (a common occurrence lately here) and that the earth mover would be gone asap (it's expensive to hire) but would be needed for approx. another 10 days. Lady Muck was having none of it, she wasn't interested in anything other than asserting her rights and power as landowner and patronising all involved.

So...the builders ignored her.

Next it was my turn, I was banned from turning around in her muddy unmade track road for fear I might put a tyre on the non existent verge....I bit my tongue....and ignored her too.

Today things moved up a notch on the 'unbelievable' scale. The builders were met early by the owner of the cottage they are working on, he was in a flap and begging them to do as Lady Muck demanded on all fronts. It seems the old cow she has threatened him with legal action (I have no idea on what grounds) if 'his builders' don't do as she has told them to. He too has tried in vain to explain one can't move that amount of earth by hand and that the vehicles parked on the road are a hazard and at risk of theft...... but she is still not listening!

I am confounded by her attitude, she gave permission apparently for the renovations to take place and presumably the owner of the cottage has some rights of access over the lane but what really confounds me is this lady's small and selfish mindedness, she I doubt has ever done a days work in her life beyond making the canapes for the monthly bridge meeting and nor does she appear to have the vaguest idea of what goes on in the world outside of her own cossetted life. All of that I could almost bear if she wasn't so damn rude and condescending, as it is I could happily poke her hard in the eye with a blunt stick but like the others I'm gonna have to tow her line.....for me that means reversing my van (no rear windows remember) onto a blind bend on exit.

As for the earth moving considerations.....who knows, that's yet to be resolved.

It's not my fight but oh how I would love just five minutes of her time!

Whoopie bloody do!

Yup, that about sums up my day...'whoopie bloody do' indeed, a fiasco from start to finish. HM and yer man might have had something to celebrate but I certainly didn't!

Let me explain.

It started at 4.30 this morning with a 100 mile drive from Cambridge to hit work for 06.30. The weather was appalling, torrential rain and winds of apparently almighty strength. I was on two hours sleep, with something odd going on in my head (no, not the usual madness, I keep suffering some strange momentary giddiness)trying to vie for position on the already overly busy M25 with what felt like most of the U.K's articulated heavy transport (no one else is daft enough to be out there at that ungodly hour). Visibility was almost non existent and why in the name of idiocy do HGV drivers insist on driving their tonnage within an inch of my boot??!! FFS, if I came to a shuddering halt unexpectedly I doubt the traffic police would find much of me and my little car left!

But I made it...only two minutes late, phew, and it was on with my day.

There was no improvement. I was soaked through courtesy of the incessant rain, within half and hour of hitting the road again, this time in the white van from hell, I had gained a steaming headache (and yes, to those of you who have nagged shown concern over my recent health I have a doctors appointment tomorrow) and an already painful shoulder was giving me more gip than usual. My phone had seemingly given up on it's endeavours to send email and every customer I encountered was grumpy...even by Monday morning standards.

But there was more. My favoured 'coffee stop', the one that gets me through the second half of my day, was closed for a refurb.....that I didn't notice until I had sailed in through the doors to be greeted by a group of workmen, my subsequent detour to the nearest 'Costa' took 10 minutes longer than anticipated and rendered me late for the rest of the day......

....and then next I got nicked for speeding!!!! Approx 34 in a 30!! I got done for speeding once before in my life....35 in a 30, Jesus! Why do I never get caught on a fast bike? Ok, probably best I don't tempt fate on that one! Yeah, I know, 'fair cop guv' and all that, but why oh why did I not realise why the oncoming traffic was flashing me so vociferously and why oh why did I not notice that the white van, secreted halfway behind a hedge, had a lens shining out prettily from a sneaky little window?!! Dippy bitch!

One might think it ended there....but one would be wrong, next I discovered a CV joint on my car has disintegrated....more money, damn car has only been out of the garage for a few days and that was something in the region of it's 8th visit this year alone.

Enough is enough, I've got the hump, I'm off to bed before anything else can fall apart on me, fall on me, fall over me, etc. etc. etc.

Ack...a freaking speeding ticket....whoopie bloody do! Anyone got a spare £60? Oh....and another for the insurance hike....and a good answer for my boss when the ticket lands in his mail.

*Not checked for spelling or punctuation....too miffed to care!

Tornado??!!

One of my long held life ambitions has been to experience a tornado, the weather/windy kind not the aircraft, though I wouldn't turn an opportunity to do that down either!

Well, WOW, maybe I just experienced a life ambition in a small way, right here, on my way home from work in little old England!!!

So what happened? I had just parked up outside the house on my return from white van hell, when the heavens opened, I mean this was instant and absolutely torrential rain where previously there had been nothing.


I was still in my parked car so I turned on my wipers to see. Moments later all hell seemed to break loose, there had been a slight breeze but suddenly there was mayhem on a small scale. Leaves recently shed from the trees advanced up the road at me in a rapid spiralling motion, recycling bins were lifted into the air, a good 15 foot high, and rained down around me (one hit the car....don't ask, I haven't dared look yet), their lids became detached and the contents became airborne and twirling at high speed everywhere..... and then there was the sound.....immediate, thunderous but not thunder, like nothing I've ever heard before.

The whole incident lasted maybe a minute, I wanted to get out of the car and video it but I couldn't open the door against the wind so I just sat, not quite sure what I was watching, thinking WOW...WOW...WOW......amazing....absolutely amazing!!!

....and then as fast as it had arrived it was gone, leaving only heavy rain and a mess of bins, papers, leaves and loose road signs in it's wake.

A tornado? I don't know, I'm not meteorologist and I didn't see it approach but it seemed suspiciously like a little tiny one to me.....anyone hear any reports of any in the U.K. today?

Whatever it was it was pretty cool, pretty amazing stuff and has reinforced my wish to go on a storm chasing holiday someday!

Wow....just wow!

Next please

That's the next weekend to which I am referring, I've kinda had enough of this week already, I know, it's only Wednesday but somehow it's not turning into one of my better of this years 52!

I'm not really sure why but I have the 'right hump', I'm tired, miserable and cold, I've had a bloody headache for days and I am completely without any single iota of motivation!

I'm sick to death of the white van and all it entails, I've had enough of making sodding sandwiches and given the option (which of course I'm not) I would happily sit in a warm corner somewhere and sulk for a while.

I have tried all the usual tricks for cheering myself up...to no avail, even a small amount of retail therapy (which I can ill afford, don't start me on the finances issue!) has been unsuccessful along with the usual chocolate therapy, more failure.

Yup, I need it to be the weekend, I need to play for a day or two.......


....and if anyone dares mention PMT....just don't! ;o)

Whaaaat????

This has to be one of the most ridiculous and unbelievable things I've heard in a long time:

My boss, lets call him 'Mr Financially Retentive' has surpassed himself in the stupidity stakes today. His business, the very same I drive the white van from hell for, is a sandwich delivery business and by definition that means we need sandwiches. These are not sourced from outside, we make them, all shapes and sizes from 6am for two hours, four of us, every day, prior to hitting the road. We use electric knives, cheap ones, Mr F.R. wouldn't dream of paying for the 'commercial use' version!

So we battle on with low power knives, designed only for domestic use.....and they break, with regular monotony. What does he expect?

This morning, in the space of half an hour two of the four died a sudden death, one of them was mine. I approached Mr F.R. wielding said dead knife (please, don't tempt me) and informed him of my plight, to which he rather confusingly replied (and I kid you not)........

......."it's your own bloody fault, you girls all use them for making sandwiches"!!!!!!

Uh, run that by me again????

I'm still speechless!

....and knife-less.

A microcosm of life!

Far be it from me to provide any cause for derision of women by the male of the species but I couldn't help but laugh at a small incident I was witness to today while I hauled the white van from hell along it's route. An incident that probably for you guys out there just about sums up we women in one hit! ;o)

I was sat in a lay-by on a country lane having a sneaky fag around lunch time just enjoying the sun and daydreaming when a couple, maybe in thier late forties, meandered by on bicycles. These were not 'sport cyclists' more the 'we're getting old and unfit and should make an effort before we have heart attacks' kind of cyclists. The woman appeared to be the fitter of the two and was maybe 10 revolutions of a wheel ahead of her partner, who was the more overweight and puffing along at the rear looking for all the world like what he most wanted was get off his confounded machine and have a pint.

They were nearing a fork in the road and he shouted ahead to his lady "left or right?" to which she responded "I don't mind, you choose".

So he did.....and shouted back "left then" and carried on pedalling for all he was worth.

At this the woman looked over her shoulder back at him and said "I don't like the left route......but it's ok, you can choose"!!!!!!

The look on the guys face said it all, a mixture of exasperation, frustration and then resignation, he didn't say another word (probably for fear of saying exactly what he was thinking), his shoulders slumped and with a roll of his eyes he turned right!!

Need I say more!

Walk? What do you mean walk!

I don't 'do' walking, I do cars and motorbikes but not feet!

Yet again yesterday afternoon my ever failing car was deposited in the garage, this time to have some bearings replaced. Now usually in these circumstances my father chauffeurs me to work but this morning he was feeling a little 'inclement' and so other arrangements had to be made.

Bear in mind here that I live almost two miles from my place of white van torture and I have the pleasure of having to start at the un-godly hour of 06.00 hrs.

So the options were considered....and they were few, just two in fact, take a cab or walk. Well I would be damned if was going to pay a cab, I don't really know why I won't take a cab other than they seem to border on a form of legal extortion and oft times have less than savoury characters at the wheel but a taxi for just two miles I didn't consider an option, so I was left with using my 'own steam' as my only other choice. There are no buses at that time in the morning.

I was up with the lark (or something) at 4.45, and ablutions and breakfast dealt with I hit the pavements at 5.30 and you know what.......I really enjoyed it! So much so in fact that I decided to take a somewhat convoluted route to avoid any kind workmate passing me and offering a lift!

Mornings are not my best time to put it mildly, if a day is going to be a crap day it will have been decided in my head within two hours of waking but very unexpectedly the 'walking business' set me up for a better day than many, it was really good, it kind of cleared my head, gave me something else to concentrate on other than my usual worryings and there were birds, lots of them fluttering and tweeting, cats returning from a night on the tiles I could pass the time of day with and even a fox to keep me amused as I pottered along humming to myself. As I passed through the town centre at that early hour the market traders were setting up for the day and as ever the cheery bunch they are they all greeted me as I walked by with various forms of 'good morning'..... as opposed to the usual 'head down and don't meet anyone's eye' attitude it seems people later in the day prefer.

I arrived at work 15 minutes early having also managed a little window shopping along the final stretch of my journey, and sat on a wall for a while watching the town gradually wake up to the sound of the nearby underground, the traffic slowly coming to life and people beginning to emerge from front doors...... yup, very surprisingly I quite like this early walking malarky, ok, so probably I won't be making a regular habit of it but now and again I think I might just leave the car behind on a nice morning!