I'm back....

.... and sleepy. The last week has seen me travel from London to Cambridge, to Sussex, to Seville, to London and back to Cambridge...tomorrow the circle is complete when I drive the last leg back to London again!

It's been fun, we had a lovely Christmas and an amazing time in Seville....more when I've had time to get the 'back home' chores in hand and download whatever I captured on my camera.

In the meantime:

A HAPPY NEW YEARand may it bring you at least some of whatever it is you wish for yourself.

Gatwick...

....16.00hrs tomorrow, Seville, tapas, Rioja, sunshine and temperates in the high teens....tough life..... ;o)

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

I have absolutely no idea yet where I will be after today, Amsterdam, Spain somewhere maybe, France etc. etc. all possibilities or perhaps just complete laziness chilling at home, who knows, that's all part of the fun but in case I can't get online (or persuade my phone to post something here which it seems hard to persuade to do) best I wish you all a fab Christmas now.

I'll blog from wherever, whenever if I can! :o)

Have a really good one guys, peace, happiness, lots of beer and all that stuff to you all....

Ben Parkinson

We may or may not agree with the politics and the principles that results in any conflict but this report of Lance Bombadier Ben Parkinson's courage in the face of adversity, the like of which most of us will thankfully never encounter, deserves our respect, gratitude and pride.... and is maybe, when we think our own going gets tough, worth remebering.

Great timing!

Not!

So we are headed to Christmas, there is a strong possibility I will be flying off on a short holiday somewhere and what happens? What happens is that my trusty, much loved camera died a sudden and complete death! FFS! That thing was like my right hand, I knew it inside out, it worked well, did it's job and I loved it.


It was old but it was fab, it was bought in the days when a digi compact set you back a fair few hundred quid and I never wanted it to die.....but it did, very unceremonoiusly!

Thank heavens for small lottery wins and the fall in price of technology is all I can say....at least I managed to get a new one, I would hate to be completely camera-less. All I have to do now is get to grips with it!

Hmmm...

.....this is gonna work well then.

Not!

Getting there

I know, I know, I have been a very bad blogger recently, in fact I haven't been a blogger at all as is appallingly very evident by my recent lack of anything new here, not even so much as a silly cat post!

It's the Christmas rush that is to blame, or rather my complete and utter lack of organisation during the run up, resulting in a manic dash at the very last minute. There was a time in my life that everything was done by the beginning of December....those days are long gone!

I have at last though got it together and managed to get some semblence of Christmas sorted out. The cards are written (ok, all 10 of them, another of my poor points) and the final gift is wrapped, I even managed to decorate the tree that had stood sadly naked in my parents living room for too long. I seem to have spent every moment I haven't been working in one shopping centre or another deserately searching for the ever elusive inspiration but finally it is done....all I have to do now is pack it all up, for my Christmas will be elsewhere.

As yet I have no idea where 'elsewhere' will be but I finish work for ten days on Friday and if I'm a lucky girl my Christmas might begin with a flight.

Friday can't get here soon enough! :o))

Jeez....

.....life has suddenly become manic in the pre-Christmas rush!

I will catch up with everything soon....

Odd aint it....

...this life malarky?

You know those rare moments, when out of the blue from the haze of confusion and questions that usually muddle one's mind comes a sudden, clear realisation that hits squarely between the eyes and momenarily provides insight....well today, as I drove my white van (I do my thinking behind the wheel of that van, maybe not a good time but hey...) I had one of those moments.

I was marvelling at the beauty that two days and nights of frost and sub zero temperatures had bestowed on the countryside, it was almost like snow, white covering every surface and glittering in the winter sunlight, amazingly intricate ice crystals clinging to every surface like tiny diamonds set against the backdrop of blue sky and fallen autumn leaves and I realised in that moment that for the last year or so life seems to have been about survival not living.

It feels as though I have had many personal mountains to climb, almost daily I find myself trying not to worry about one thing or another, not to allow myself to feel for fear of where that might lead me, not to look either side of my usual conciousness in case that raises further concerns. There have been some of my bleakest moments and blackest thoughts and I've had to fight hard sometimes for my sanity. It has been a time of very low low's but also some very high high's and I have survived but I don't want to merley survive, I want to live, I want to notice more of the good and the beauty around me and not get lost in the mire of my mind and my thoughts.

There are millions of people in this world who truly have to fight for their whole lives just merely to stay alive and survive, to put food in their mouths and to escape disease, famine and war and they bear difficulties as a matter of course, year in and year out, that we in the Western world can't even begin to imagine.

In comparison my mountains pale into insignifigance, that doesn't necessarily make them less painful to me but sometimes a sight of particular beauty, a small unexpected kindness, a reminder of just how much there is out there to enjoy, if only we take the time to look for it and to actually see it, allows us to see beyond the bounds of our usual and individual thought processes and be thankful for what we have, however little or much that might be in usually accepted terms.

Wake up!

Whilst I assume it's highly unlikely that anyone with even the remotest of interest in things feline hasn't seen this already, it's so funny and so true that just in case you missed it it's here:

Sound on....enjoy :o)

I won the lottery!!!!!

Ok, so before you start thinking yacht's and Belgravia penthouses... don't!

....but, to walk into work at 06.30 hrs on a Monday morning, after a two hour drive in wind and rain to be handed £200 won in the works lottery syndicate, made for a pretty good start to the day.

Yayyyyy....£200 that I didn't expect, right now that's a kings ransom to me.

Yup, there have definitely been worse starts to a Monday! :o)))))

The nativity....

.......UK circa 2007!

Coming to a town somewhere near you soon!


Kinda worryingly true!

Penis envy??

I doubt it!

One would have thought that by the time a guy makes it to his forties he is somewhat more familiar with the responses of his anatomy than this guy was....who felt it 'necessary' to put a ring of metal pipe around his most precious and delicate of body parts!!!

The result....the fire brigade called to attendance complete with cutting gear in hand....I kid you not!

I shall resist the temptation to use the phrase 'Dick head'!!! ;o)

It's only...

...... eleven working days until I 'break up' from work for the Christmas holidays....not that I'm counting like! ;o)

Yayyyyy.

Wow!!!....

...just WOW!

As one who has a passion for extreme weather and the sea I find this report recently of a Newquay surfer's shennanegins in the biggest surf
Donegal has seen, absolutely amazing :o)

© BBC

A perfect 'upper cut'

Yesterday I was 'treated' to a new experience in my life courtesy of Fletch, something I have long wondered about, about how it would feel (get your mind out of the gutter please), well now I know!

Imagine the scene, a Dickensian Christmas market in the town square, christmas carols and a wintery chill in the air, children laughing happily, lights twinkling, a perfectly relaxed festive atmosphere......and then out of nowhere a powerful and perfect upper cut landed squarely on my jaw!!!!! Owchhhh!!

Ok, so to be fair it was far from intentional, one of those bad timimg things. I bent down as Fletch moved his arm up to do something and the contact between hand

and jaw was complete and instant. For a minute or two I wasn't sure where I was anymore, I bit my tongue hard, I had been eating some small titbit (where it went in the aftermath I have no idea), my teeth seemed to crash together and everything started to go very, very black........

I didn't thankfully keel right over, though a degree of 'propping up' was required from a concerned Fletch for a minute or two, whilst I concentrated on remaining upright. I really didn't know what had hit me, it was so instant I had no idea what had happened, only that it hurt like hell and all I could do was stand there holding my mouth like a fool, I couldn't speak to even say I was ok. Well I wasn't but you know what I mean!

A few minutes later I had gathered my wits, my jaw and my tongue still hurt but nothing too drastic.

I always wondered how boxers did it and now I know they have to be very strange individuals to put themselves repeatedly in the line of fire....I had absolutely no idea just how much a smack in the mouth could hurt!!!!

Ok, ok, so in retrospect it's funny I know.... but stop sniggering at the back please ;o)

Time to panic

It's that time of year again, the one that as a child seems to take an eternity of excitement to arrive and as an adult seems to creep upon me with a ferociousness of speed that leaves me in my current state....panic stricken at my lack of appropriate action!

Christmas, ugh!

I used to love it but I begin to think it should be relegated to perhaps alternate years, or maybe even one in four like leap years. I barely seem to have relaxed from the last one and here it is again and again here I am not in any


semblance of organisation. Not so much as a card purchased in gemmaks-ville, let alone any gifts....and more worryingly I haven't so much as mustered any inspiration as to what those gifts might be when I finally make my way to some manically crowded high street!

It's not that I don't have the time, my early start at work means I finish at 2.30 each afternoon, it's more that any attempt at motivation seems to have deserted me completely which of course means that my level of panic is rising considerably now as the final countdown approaches. Hell, I don't even have kids or a home to deal with and I still can't get my act together!

It should be easy, I know it should, I don't have anything like as much to get organised as most do, I'm unlikely even to be in the U.K. for Christmas but somehow the 'get up and go' to do what needs to be done seems to have 'got up and gone'!


*note to self - pull yer bloody finger out girl!

The short way round!

Today saw Fletch and I heading off early for Birmingham and the N.E.C....to the bike show of course, an annual 'must do', though it's probably 20 or so years since I last actually managed the pilgrimage! On that occasion things didn't go too well, it was April, I was camping overnight and a freak heavy snowfall caused my tent to collapse spectacularly at two in the morning....leaving me no option (I was on a bike remember) but to spend a cold miserable night holed up in public toilets for a little shelter! Ugh.

This visit went more to plan, we made the journey easily, the roads in were remarkably clear and the N.E.C as ever has the whole queuing/parking/paying malarky sussed, no problem, relaxed and easy, none of the usual bunfight gaining access to these events often is.

The show was as these things are, excellent if you're into two wheels, probably boring in the extreme if you're not....so I won't, bore you that is! ;o)

We enjoyed it thoroughly though, all the things we wanted to see/achieve were achieved and the place was only comfortably full (thank God for the Christmas shopping rush and the need for many to hit the high streets).

For me there was one most definite highlight, seeing Claudio von Planta (and his bike of course) of The Long Way Round fame.


He might not have been the one to attract all the publicity at the time but this guy was the un-sung hero who not only had to ride with Messrs Boorman and McGregor but also had the task of filming the whole thing single handedly!

As ever I am with these kind of individuals, I just gazed at him and his machine in wonder....this guy had actually, really done one of the things I would most like to do in my life!



Ok....so he did it with a support team and on a BMW (maybe you have to be a biker to understand why that is mentioned) but he did it and that mere fact is enough to more than make him a hero to me! :o))

Other than that there was the usual 'sitting' on various bikes in the hope that someday, someone might just make an adventure bike low enough for a five foot female, I have to say here that BMW (for all we deride them) make the nearest thing too it but still the only thing I can comfortably get my feet down on is a Hog, ugh, just not made for offroading is it with all that chrome!

For those taller and for we dreamers there is however this:


...assuming of course one can get it to go the distance in one piece!

Did I say I wasn't gonna bore you? Ooopss....sorry! ;o)

The epitome of selfishness

One of my calls in the white van from hell is to a group of five builders who undertake small-ish renovation works, as they move from job to job every few weeks so do I. Currently they are renovating a cottage at the head of a private road in the middle of the countryside. This is their first week on the job and all has not run smoothly.

The road is an unmade track and a dead end and is accessed from a country lane, there are two small cottages at the head and a large country house at the other end, approximately a mile away, the owner of which also owns the lane and all the surrounding acres of land.

This 'lady' is just about everything I dislike in someone, very faux upper class, the horsey type with a mouth full of plumbs and 'sensibly' dressed in green wellies, a riding jacket, head-scarf and with a severe haircut dragged back off her forehead with a kirby grip.

She has a problem it seems with the builders, apparently their three cars that are parked at the top of the lane are 'destroying the grass verge (there is none) and disrupting here peace and quiet' and the small earth moving vehicles required for the job are 'an abomination'....add to that my small van that is there for five minutes a day is a 'nuisance'!

There have been, between builders and 'Lady Muck', a number of 'disagreements' over the last few days, she told them to move their vehicles onto the road (thereby causing and obstruction on the narrow lane) and to be finished with the earth movers (they are very small, these are not of road building proportions)within the week. They tried in vain to explain that the cars would be a hazard and would likely have their expensive tools stolen from them (a common occurrence lately here) and that the earth mover would be gone asap (it's expensive to hire) but would be needed for approx. another 10 days. Lady Muck was having none of it, she wasn't interested in anything other than asserting her rights and power as landowner and patronising all involved.

So...the builders ignored her.

Next it was my turn, I was banned from turning around in her muddy unmade track road for fear I might put a tyre on the non existent verge....I bit my tongue....and ignored her too.

Today things moved up a notch on the 'unbelievable' scale. The builders were met early by the owner of the cottage they are working on, he was in a flap and begging them to do as Lady Muck demanded on all fronts. It seems the old cow she has threatened him with legal action (I have no idea on what grounds) if 'his builders' don't do as she has told them to. He too has tried in vain to explain one can't move that amount of earth by hand and that the vehicles parked on the road are a hazard and at risk of theft...... but she is still not listening!

I am confounded by her attitude, she gave permission apparently for the renovations to take place and presumably the owner of the cottage has some rights of access over the lane but what really confounds me is this lady's small and selfish mindedness, she I doubt has ever done a days work in her life beyond making the canapes for the monthly bridge meeting and nor does she appear to have the vaguest idea of what goes on in the world outside of her own cossetted life. All of that I could almost bear if she wasn't so damn rude and condescending, as it is I could happily poke her hard in the eye with a blunt stick but like the others I'm gonna have to tow her line.....for me that means reversing my van (no rear windows remember) onto a blind bend on exit.

As for the earth moving considerations.....who knows, that's yet to be resolved.

It's not my fight but oh how I would love just five minutes of her time!

Eekkkk, not again!

So....I plucked up the courage, I faced my fear and I had all the dental work done that was required a few months back, it took weeks, way too much time pinned helplessley in the chair...... so I could be forgiven for thinking that might be that for a while but nope!

One of the teeth that underwent major 'surgery', not but a short while ago, disintegrated again last week, so tomorrow it's back into the lions mouth (no pun intended) in a hot and shaking state of panic once more for me......

Eekkkkk

Do I look like...

....a mocha latte?!

Contentment?

Sometimes I wonder if there will ever again be a time in my life where I can just feel peaceful and contented. Nothing to worry about, no problems that seem unsurmountable, safe, secure and light of mind.

I don't ask for much eh? heh. ;o)

Ok, so I know life ain't exactly supposed to be like that, if we didn't have the crap bits we wouldn't appreciate the cool bits and we wouldn't build strength of character.... but hey, whilst I'm not feeling sorry for myself, it would be nice just for a little while to feel that chilled....

who the hell needs strength of character anyways! ;o)

A new species?

Saturday sunrise

The laughing duck had me awake this morning at 7....not good, though for someone who has to be up and at it by 5.30 in the week I suppose 7 qualifies as a lie-in! However, good or bad I woke to the most beautiful frosty sunrise, I couldn't resist and was out, unsuitably dressed in my hurry not to miss the sight almost as soon as my eyes popped open. I was utterly frozen within a few minutes and after only a short while had to give up for lack of being able to depress the shutter button with numb fingers any longer.....but it was worth it.





(Clickable)

Oh fab!

So I got in from work this afternoon to be greeted by a letter (big event, I don't get many).I opened it in anticipation........
only to find that it was the vet reminding me that Tilly's vaccination is due now. Fabulous!

I needed that like a hole in the head! :o/

Ohhhh Darling......

.....how very well done!!!!

Seems there has been something of a... er... slight 'lapse in security' somewhere here doesn't it?! (Excuse my sarcastic tone)

Apparently Alistair Darling has urged those a affected to monitor their bank accounts "for unusual activity". Perhaps I could suggest he monitor his staff for any brain activity too!

I'm just glad I don't have a child under 16!

Whoopie bloody do!

Yup, that about sums up my day...'whoopie bloody do' indeed, a fiasco from start to finish. HM and yer man might have had something to celebrate but I certainly didn't!

Let me explain.

It started at 4.30 this morning with a 100 mile drive from Cambridge to hit work for 06.30. The weather was appalling, torrential rain and winds of apparently almighty strength. I was on two hours sleep, with something odd going on in my head (no, not the usual madness, I keep suffering some strange momentary giddiness)trying to vie for position on the already overly busy M25 with what felt like most of the U.K's articulated heavy transport (no one else is daft enough to be out there at that ungodly hour). Visibility was almost non existent and why in the name of idiocy do HGV drivers insist on driving their tonnage within an inch of my boot??!! FFS, if I came to a shuddering halt unexpectedly I doubt the traffic police would find much of me and my little car left!

But I made it...only two minutes late, phew, and it was on with my day.

There was no improvement. I was soaked through courtesy of the incessant rain, within half and hour of hitting the road again, this time in the white van from hell, I had gained a steaming headache (and yes, to those of you who have nagged shown concern over my recent health I have a doctors appointment tomorrow) and an already painful shoulder was giving me more gip than usual. My phone had seemingly given up on it's endeavours to send email and every customer I encountered was grumpy...even by Monday morning standards.

But there was more. My favoured 'coffee stop', the one that gets me through the second half of my day, was closed for a refurb.....that I didn't notice until I had sailed in through the doors to be greeted by a group of workmen, my subsequent detour to the nearest 'Costa' took 10 minutes longer than anticipated and rendered me late for the rest of the day......

....and then next I got nicked for speeding!!!! Approx 34 in a 30!! I got done for speeding once before in my life....35 in a 30, Jesus! Why do I never get caught on a fast bike? Ok, probably best I don't tempt fate on that one! Yeah, I know, 'fair cop guv' and all that, but why oh why did I not realise why the oncoming traffic was flashing me so vociferously and why oh why did I not notice that the white van, secreted halfway behind a hedge, had a lens shining out prettily from a sneaky little window?!! Dippy bitch!

One might think it ended there....but one would be wrong, next I discovered a CV joint on my car has disintegrated....more money, damn car has only been out of the garage for a few days and that was something in the region of it's 8th visit this year alone.

Enough is enough, I've got the hump, I'm off to bed before anything else can fall apart on me, fall on me, fall over me, etc. etc. etc.

Ack...a freaking speeding ticket....whoopie bloody do! Anyone got a spare £60? Oh....and another for the insurance hike....and a good answer for my boss when the ticket lands in his mail.

*Not checked for spelling or punctuation....too miffed to care!

Exhibit one!

Apparently one's drink of choice, in this case Leffe Blonde tastes way better if it can be consumed from the appropriate receptacle.

To this end I have committed a grave sin (well they just don't sell the Leffe glass at any retailers I can find) I have 'purloined' one from the local establishment that regularly serves 'himself' this delight. I would make an appalling thief, I was 'all of a dither' just trying to find a suitable moment to lift this one small object of desire.... but more worryingly not only did I manage to relieve them of said glass but I went equipped.....I took an appropriately sized handbag with me in which to conceal my quarry!

I'm going straight to hell! ;o)

Yet another haircut nightmare!

Why is it that each time I visit the hairdressers the event has a habit of turning rapidly from the relaxing, pampering experience it is suggested to us it will be into something of an ordeal?

It is well documented here how a number of my past appointments have degenerated rapidly from pleasure to pain over the years..... and again this week my endeavours at an hours relaxation and attention in the barnet department turned out not to be quite what was expected! Ok, so perhaps I should by now expect that it will not be all I wish for, but somehow I keep having faith only to go through the same realisation as I sit trapped in the chair that my faith is misplaced!

So, having managed for a year (yet again) to grow my hair into something resembling 'girly' on Monday my patience with hairdryers, straighteners and unending time faffing wore out and off I went to have it all chopped off again! Hey, I have to get out of the house for work by 6.00 am and I wear a crash helmet....'pretty' hair is just not appropriate....and anyways I can't be bothered!

Hence it was that I walked into the salon on Monday afternoon looking forward to my relaxing Indian head massage and a new look, gentle music playing, good coffee in hand and soothing things happening to my head.

Nope....what I got was a bloody building site! It seems there were 'improvement works in progress',for my future comfort I was promised ( I don't want damn future comfort I want it now please). My relaxing hour turned into something more reminiscent of an assault course! There was plaster dust absolutely everywhere, the water from the shower heads seemed to have lost all vestiges of pressure which rendered me sitting at the torturous 'back wash' for an age, refreshments were non-existent and instead of gentle music there was an accompaniment of a kango hammer, constant drilling and a circular saw!

How lovely!

There is of course always a silver lining....I didn't have to tolerate the inane drivel that usually purports to be conversation with the stylist, a few sentences shouted regarding 'what I wanted done' was all she could manage..... and I did finally get my short hair cut!

Really, if I win the lottery one time, my first consideration will be a personal stylist!

Collecting 'Sgt. Podge'

I can't begin to explain THIS but it's hilarious! :o)

I need.....

...me one of these!




Some things you just have to share!

and if 'anyone' so much as mentions bacon.....

The bloody laughing duck!

So, I profess to be being a lover of all things natural (spiders excepted of course), be they blessed with fur or wings, leaves, flower heads or natural phenomenon I have a passion for them.....but just occasionally something is sent to test us.

That 'something' is a duck, a duck that has prompted intermittently, consideration from 'some parties' for a shot gun to be readily at hand! This of course has been met by myself with the loudest of protestations though I do have a degree of understanding.

Aforementioned duck lives on the river that runs immediately parallel to Fletch's flat, a beautiful spot, much of natural beauty to behold with the exception of the one offending duck.

The winged creature in question has a very particular call, it sounds like it is laughing raucously, continuously, all day long until nightfall, but that is not where it falls out of favour, where is pushes the bounds of a love for nature is that it would give even the most experienced crowing cockerel a run for it's money in the morning wake up call department!

The damnable thing kicks off it's laughing exploits at approx. 4 in the morning, relentlessly,noisily, annoyingly, come hell or high water it doesn't shut up, once it's started it's started, no stopping and not even the closing of the well fitting double glazed windows deadens it's ability to end a good nights sleep abruptly, day after day!

Ugh....maybe Fletch has a point, anyone got a shotgun?! ;o)

What's in there?

A meme....it's been a while and I fancied an lazy post so I stole this from 'burning the ground'.

1. What’s in your medicine cabinet? I don't have a medicine cabinet (there's a requirement for one's own home for that) but I do have a medicine 'basket' full of er...medicine! Oh, was I supposed to be specific? Ok, backup supplies of the meds I use long term, important papers that I can't be bothered to file away properly and 'girly' stuff. Probably the odd software CD too, it tends to be a general dumping spot.

2. What’s in your wallet? About £200, I hate carrying cash but bankrupts don't have the luxury of plastic, my driving licence, old receipts, an old train ticket, a pre-paid prescription certificate and my E111.

3. What’s in your bag/briefcase/backpack/purse? Heavens above, I cant list all that, I have one of each with me most of the time! OK, I'll try:

Backpack: Permanently packed with clothes and survival kit for my transitory lifestyle.

Bag: Ok, this is my lappy bag....contents, um, a lappy, cables/dongle/camera/batteries, papers, CD's, the odd DVD and probably a book.

Handbag: Small scale transitory life survival kit. Purse, cigarettes, memory sticks, phone,headset, various meds and 'girly things',keys, hairbrush, and little sentimental souvenirs I pick up here and there, a pebble from the top of Grossglockner, a tile from a Spanish swimming pool(don't ask)a tiny conker, one of Tilly's wiskers and a lock of someone's hair!(no one mention the 'sentimental old bint' phrase!)

4. What’s in your glove box? CD’s, service book for the car, phone and headset chargers, spare cigarettes, chocolate and my pay slips....I don't know why I keep those there!

5. What’s in your imagination? This is a family site, I couldn't possibly tell you that!

Tornado??!!

One of my long held life ambitions has been to experience a tornado, the weather/windy kind not the aircraft, though I wouldn't turn an opportunity to do that down either!

Well, WOW, maybe I just experienced a life ambition in a small way, right here, on my way home from work in little old England!!!

So what happened? I had just parked up outside the house on my return from white van hell, when the heavens opened, I mean this was instant and absolutely torrential rain where previously there had been nothing.


I was still in my parked car so I turned on my wipers to see. Moments later all hell seemed to break loose, there had been a slight breeze but suddenly there was mayhem on a small scale. Leaves recently shed from the trees advanced up the road at me in a rapid spiralling motion, recycling bins were lifted into the air, a good 15 foot high, and rained down around me (one hit the car....don't ask, I haven't dared look yet), their lids became detached and the contents became airborne and twirling at high speed everywhere..... and then there was the sound.....immediate, thunderous but not thunder, like nothing I've ever heard before.

The whole incident lasted maybe a minute, I wanted to get out of the car and video it but I couldn't open the door against the wind so I just sat, not quite sure what I was watching, thinking WOW...WOW...WOW......amazing....absolutely amazing!!!

....and then as fast as it had arrived it was gone, leaving only heavy rain and a mess of bins, papers, leaves and loose road signs in it's wake.

A tornado? I don't know, I'm not meteorologist and I didn't see it approach but it seemed suspiciously like a little tiny one to me.....anyone hear any reports of any in the U.K. today?

Whatever it was it was pretty cool, pretty amazing stuff and has reinforced my wish to go on a storm chasing holiday someday!

Wow....just wow!

Next please

That's the next weekend to which I am referring, I've kinda had enough of this week already, I know, it's only Wednesday but somehow it's not turning into one of my better of this years 52!

I'm not really sure why but I have the 'right hump', I'm tired, miserable and cold, I've had a bloody headache for days and I am completely without any single iota of motivation!

I'm sick to death of the white van and all it entails, I've had enough of making sodding sandwiches and given the option (which of course I'm not) I would happily sit in a warm corner somewhere and sulk for a while.

I have tried all the usual tricks for cheering myself up...to no avail, even a small amount of retail therapy (which I can ill afford, don't start me on the finances issue!) has been unsuccessful along with the usual chocolate therapy, more failure.

Yup, I need it to be the weekend, I need to play for a day or two.......


....and if anyone dares mention PMT....just don't! ;o)

Motivation!

For more and better go HERE! ;o)

Silly me!

Home office minister Liam Byrne, who has campaigned for road safety extensively, was today convicted of using a hand held mobile phone whilst driving.

In mitigation of his behaviour he said in a letter to the court that he was taking "an important call on a deportation matter"!

I seem to have missed the piece in the legislation that allows for that.

Oh, silly me!


Happy weekend guys :o)

How to tell...

....if you're mums favourite!

Suddenly it all became clear....

....and life has new meaning!

D: "Where is everybody, Hol?"
H: "They're dead, Dave."
D: "Who is?"
H: "Everybody, Dave."
D: "What, Captain Hollister?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Todhunter?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Selby?"
H: "They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "Petersen isn't, is he?"
H: "Everybody is dead, Dave."
D: "Not Chen?"
H: "Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave"
D: "Rimmer?"
H: "He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!"
D: "Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?"
H: "I wish I'd never let him out in the first place."

Ok, ok so I'm about 20 years late but better late than never!

Talking of Tilly...

.....well ok I wasn't but I had been a few days back, I came accross this picture today and it just has to be one of my favourites of her 'kittenhood', so for Karen who misses seeing Tilly pictures here she is, aged about 10 weeks and getting to grips with domesticity! :o)

End of a small era

Well not really, that's kind of overplaying my hand but I made a decision yesterday that I have been toying with for a while.....I killed off 'gemmak designs'. It is not longer, it is defunct, it has gone to the big blog landfill in the ether somewhere.

It was quite an important part of my life for a time, I really enjoyed doing it and the income didn't go amiss but I haven't used it since I closed it 18 months ago and I don't see a possibility for my getting back to it anytime soon, so it seemed like time to stop the sentimentality and hit 'delete'.

....and that's what I did.

Gone, the end.

Double take

Friday evening on my usual mind numbing sit in the parking lane journey via the M25 to Cambridge I stopped, as ever I do, to relieve the boredom and acquire a coffee at a the usual faceless service station. Twice a week I stop there, nothing ever changes, I could find my way to the coffee machine and the bathroom blindfold and Friday held no promise of anything different.

So I headed to the 'ladies', usual comatose state of mind prevalent and on walking out, taking a quick glance in the mirror instead of looking where I was going, I walked smack bang into someone. I hastily apologised for my clumsiness and walked away but as I did so I realised I had seen that face before. I turned round to look again at the victim of my clumsiness, to see her looking back at me...it was one of those moments when one does a double take.....we both realised at the same moment that we knew the other and fell immediately into animated conversation.

The woman in question had been a teenager the last time I saw her, about a 1000 years ago, ok maybe closer to ten but it seemed forever! She had been at university at the time and we worked together when she was on holidays, we had been quite good buddies but when she left and I moved to Scotland we lost touch completely.

So, we stood for maybe an hour catching up to the sound of hand dryers and flushing toilets, too riveted in our gossiping to think of moving elsewhere and eventually parted with an exchange of email addresses and a promise to meet up again soon.

I love it when that kinda stuff happens! :o)

Sometimes I'm confounded....

......by our laws!

As ever it seems money is the great God and it's not the first time that jail sentences have been handed down that prove to me British justice still has a nasty habit of considering money above life and common decency.

I know there are many aspects to any case, nothing is straightforward and the actual charges bought and the limits of sentencing available to a judge must dictate to a degree the outcome of a case, but it never ceases to offend me on a knee jerk level when on the same day one case, that of an executive stealing company monies has a five year sentence handed down but a thug, who urinated on a dying disabled woman and filmed it on a mobile phone with the intention of uploading it to You Tube, gets only three years incarceration!!!

Tilly is two!

Today is Tilly's second birthday.

I never imagined two years ago that I would have to part with her, I still miss her and still think of her every day and I still feel kinda guilty that somehow I let her down...... but for today I'm going to try and concentrate on knowing she is happy and very well cared for in her new home and remebering all her stupidities and funny little cat-ways that gave me such pleasure for the time she and I were a gang of two.


"Happy birthday little Tilly puss".

Anger management

Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Ok, ok, I know I'm being a particularly bad blogger this week but I just seem to be having one of those muddle-headed spells where anything I want to say kinda gets stuck and I can't get it into words.....and the fact that blogger stole yesterday's post wasn't helpful!)

Bloody hell fire....

......I just spent an hour typing a post and blogger stole it!

I haven't had that happen for years and I'm somewhat less than chuffed....though maybe it was a blessing in disguise for you guys, I've written more upbeat posts in my time so by the Blogger Gods you have been spared!

I would never....

.....have thought that the day would come when I would feel so disappointed at the result of a rugby match....and nor would I have anticipated that having turned off the T.V. at the final score to avoid the inevitable dissection, I would become embroiled in an hour long discussion on just the same dissection with he who understands the finer details of such things!

I'm not qualified to make a judgement but it seemed to me a pretty good effort by the guys in the red and white and common consensus appears to be that they can be proud of themselves despite the final outcome.

The B.B.C. World Cup blog says it way better than I can.

Hey...maybe Lewis Hamilton can lift our spirits this afternoon.

Shallow? Who me?

For the first time in my life I will be glued, probably along with a whole country of sudden rugby fans, to the match tonight.

I don't 'do' sport but I too have become a victim of the sudden patriotic interest in the World Cup final, in fact, since the semi last weekend I have hardly been able to contain myself waiting for tonight....and let's face it, trys, conversions and all the other technical stuff (that I am attempting to learn almost overnight) aside, if the match begins to wane in interest for we girls there is always the physiological 'aspect' to keep us entertained! ;o)

The easy option!!

My mother, whilst at some routine appointment today picked up a glossy mag in the waiting room as one does to pass the time and it very pertinently fell open at an article about bankruptcy. This of course interested her, yours truly being an only recently discharged bankrupt herself.

The article was a dairy of a woman's descent into the 'delights' of the state of bankruptcy......I read avidly the tale of woe written obviously by a woman who feels much about the state itself and the process of attaining that state as I did/do. The article included her website address, Ladies in the red which includes a blog, and of course I had booted up my lappy and was there in a flash!

The site is excellent, the girl has a sense of humour (you need it believe me) and I'm sure there will be much more to interest me over time but what really struck a chord with me was one line at the end of a post, a reference to those who tell we bankrupts that it is the 'easy way out'. Oh how right she was in saying it most certainly is not!! I have been told that very same thing by various sanctimonious individuals over the last year and have had more than one conversation with people who consider it to be an easy way out for themselves!

Believe me, if there is anyone out there in any doubt whatsoever bankruptcy is not the answer to your debt prayers, it is not easy and it is not fun and it is not clever!

I promise you it is not, it is not easy filling out the reams of forms one needs to submit to apply, it is not easy when penniless to find the £475 needed for the application, it is not easy to sit in front of a judge, alone in a big courtroom and be questioned and judged, when all you want to do is hide in a corner and cry, it is not easy to have no credit cards for six years, no cheque book or ATM card for six years, to not be able to buy a home for six years, to deal with the stigma (and yes it still exists), to not be able to replace ones car despite it costing more to keep on the road in it's dotage than the purchase of a new one, to have to carry cash (if one has it) for emergencies,(try staying in a hotel overnight if you break down in the middle of nowhere when you have no plastic), it is not fun being unable to buy anything online, even insurances, car tax etc etc. It is not easy having a charge made against your salary, it is not easy losing your assets, fending off often rude and intimidating creditors phone calls up to perhaps ten times daily for months and months on end (even once they are aware they are committing an offence by pestering you) and it sure as hell ain't fun wondering each time you open the door if it's bailiff's.

No sir, it is not easy and it is not the easy way out. It is frustrating, difficult and soul and self esteem destroying......if you are ever tempted to go that route please, if you have any other feasible option, take it!

....and for those that might be tempted to judge, yes I made mistakes, yes I made some poor decisions and yes I had a bit of bad luck but don't tell me I took the easy way out!

Wake up!

All I seem to be doing here recently is linking to things but it is only coincidental that I keep being sent things I can't resist sharing. Really it isn't laziness! ;o)

So, for those who truly understand cats THIS is one of the best! (Sound on)

*Thanks to 'J'

La résistance....is futile!

© BBC

Ultimate madness?

Ok....so I was almost as interested in the location having recently ridden these roads on the Europe trip and that part being one of my most favourite, but all of that aside THIS is completely amazing!

Can I have a turn now please?

Worth a thousand words!

Just watch the guy on the left! ;o)



*Thanks to Retroguy.

Whaaaat????

This has to be one of the most ridiculous and unbelievable things I've heard in a long time:

My boss, lets call him 'Mr Financially Retentive' has surpassed himself in the stupidity stakes today. His business, the very same I drive the white van from hell for, is a sandwich delivery business and by definition that means we need sandwiches. These are not sourced from outside, we make them, all shapes and sizes from 6am for two hours, four of us, every day, prior to hitting the road. We use electric knives, cheap ones, Mr F.R. wouldn't dream of paying for the 'commercial use' version!

So we battle on with low power knives, designed only for domestic use.....and they break, with regular monotony. What does he expect?

This morning, in the space of half an hour two of the four died a sudden death, one of them was mine. I approached Mr F.R. wielding said dead knife (please, don't tempt me) and informed him of my plight, to which he rather confusingly replied (and I kid you not)........

......."it's your own bloody fault, you girls all use them for making sandwiches"!!!!!!

Uh, run that by me again????

I'm still speechless!

....and knife-less.

I know it's a sin to covet!

Isn't it odd how a bad day can turn unexpectedly into a good one!

My day didn't start too well, I was tired, it was a dull morning and the rain was falling in stair rods from the word go. By mid morning on my sandwich run I was wet through to the skin, cold and fed up, my mind was full of one worry and another that I couldn't shift and I was thoroughly disgruntled.

And then two things happened out of the blue. Firstly someone bought me a present, a Jasper Conran handbag

I have long coveted,(yes I know it's a sin to covet but what the hell) I 'do' handbags, well with size 2-3 feet I can hardly do the standard shoe thing can I, children's shoes don't too often have the glamorous touch!

Secondly, on returning from the shops with my much prized gift clutched in hand I bumped into an old friend whom I haven't seen for over a year, and then only briefly. We managed a few minutes gossip before the risk of overstaying our parking tickets forced us to leave but it was good to see her again and we parted with a promise to make a date to catch up properly.

So....my soggy, miserable day was unexpectedly transformed and this evening my frowny face has turned to a smiley face.

Thank you guys, you know who you are :o)

Unbelievable!

Do you ever get that odd feeling, the one that no matter how hard you try to imagine otherwise, something persists in feeling unbelievable, despite your knowing it happened?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As a teenager I long harboured dreams of one day just packing a rucksack, taking myself off to Heathrow, buying the first ticket I could and heading off into the big wide world indefinitely. I never did of course, the closest I ever got was

dropping someone off for a flight or picking them up on their return but even that filled me with dreams and excitement and I would stand by the gate imagining what it must be like to actually go somewhere. I would look at those returning from far flung destinations and try to conjure up images of where they had been,it didn't really matter to me whether it was Ibiza or China or anywhere in between, just the mere fact that it was a possibility filled me with wonder.

But in over forty years I never went anywhere outside of England, save for one trip to France aged five. I'm not sure why really, a combination of factors I suppose, other priorities, lack of funds, lack of anyone to go with etc. etc. etc.

I had never even flown!

And then it all changed and in a little over a year not only have I have flown, I have sailed and I have visited ten countries....and still at times it remains completely unbelievable to me! Often I sit here with my laptop in front of me and just gaze in open mouthed amazement at photographs of the places I have visited and in an instant I am almost back among those sights, those people, those experiences, lost in the wonder of it all, the diversity of the geography, the geology, the climates the cultures, the sounds and the smells, it is everything I ever imagined , even standing in a queue at an airport still holds excitement for me!

I couldn't choose a favourite place, be it riding accross the Alps seeing real glaciers, eating pizza in Tuscany, standing on the Ponte Vecchio, walking through the beautiful city streets of Prague at night or lying in the Andalucian sun every moment was wonderful and no matter how hard I look at the pictures or how hard I try to imagine I still find it completely unbelievable that it was actually me that went to those places, that I was lucky enough, not only to visit one country but ten....sometimes it just seems all too amazing to be true! :o))

Shoplifting seagull!

This came to me in three emails yesterday from different corners of the world....I have no idea how true it is but the 'lottery' sign is definitely a UK thing and it's very funny! :o)


"A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighbourhood shop. The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn't looking and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds!

The seagulls shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland and helped himself to a bag of chips..Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips and customers have begun paying for the stolen bags because they think it's so funny".

Autumn evening

(Clickable)

No explaination needed!

The best bike ad. ever! ;o)

Untitled

Long awaited, sun-rays spill from darkened sky,
golden, fragile, the burnished hues of happiness,
reflecting, dancing, light of heart of hope.

Deafening, deadening cacophony, unheard,
transformed to gentle salving lullaby,
Tar black, blood red, a steely fluid rainbow,
Unleashed colours, bright and shadow free.

Raindrops tracking, diamond glistening trails,
A thousand faces, unseen, unseeing, unknown,
Of dreams of daydreams, of silent glowing,
A single song, a single soul, a single goal.

One world, renewed in faith, in life,
darkness drifting, lifting, light of mind,
A moment, a day, downy soft and silken touch,
White light, white noise, white mind.

Nice legs leg?

So, whilst Britney Spears has lost her custody battle for her children another more obscure custody battle has been raging elsewhere.....that of an amputated leg!

I kid you not!....read more here.

The new drink driving

SMOKING!!!

Yes, it seems that smoking, whilst it has long been unpopular with do-gooders and the nanny state has, since it was banned completely in public places in the U.K.
become the latest trend with those that love to hate and smokers have become more than ever the butt of much more dislike and hatred. I am a smoker, I wish I wasn't but I am and I am sick to death (no pun intended) of being treated as though I have
no idea of the dangers to myself or others.


I am aware, probably more aware than the damned pious group of people who keep ramming it down my neck, I live with it, I know how my body feels! And maybe they assume that if despite that I keep on doing it then I must be stupid and in that they may have a point but when they have lived my life and when they are perfect they can judge me....please not before!

I am utterly in agreement that I shouldn't inflict my 'habit' or it's effects on others and I don't, I don't like that there is nowhere I can go in this country and relax with a smoke but I do accept that it is for the good of all and I do adhere to it, in fact I have adhered to it for years before the nanny state imposed it on me!

And now the final straw, another stick to beat we smokers with, another bandwagon to be jumped on with glee by the faultless masses The new Highway Code was published yesterday and in it smoking is now considered a possible reason for the police to have to stop me and issue me with a fine! So, even my own car is no longer a place I can smoke in peace and yes, I can see it as a distraction, particularly if I were to drop the offending item whilst driving but as I have only done that twice in almost 30 years of driving it seems a very small risk.

So two questions: Are those who fiddle with C.D's etc. also risking a ticket and are the police not already so overrun with work that they have time to deal with this too? It seems to me that to enforce this also our constabulary personnel are going to have to sprout multiple pairs of hands or be treated to much swollen ranks!

Finally a few possible ideas for those concerned with distractions whilst driving:

1. Chris Evans on the Radio... (Period, no if nor buts!)
2. Mothers attempting to change nappies/feed/ entertain their child whilst the vehicle is in motion.
3. Amusing Bumper stickers... (Laughing means your not concentrating!)
4. Cyclists using mobile phones? What's that all about then?
5. Kids waving in a friendly fashion out the rear window... (Stop aggravating me and pick on your parents, its their fault!)
6. Women drivers that have their seat set at the point furthest forward and their chin resting on the top of the steering wheel... (Why??? didn't you try sitting in the car before you bought it?)
7. Attractive women/men (according to your preference)......Obviously! No Day Dreaming while driving please!
8. Unattractive middle aged women/men driving flash rag tops... (They build your excitement up as you approach, then just disappoint...)
9. Highways Agency drivers who like to think they're real cops...
10. People that suddenly reduce their speed by 10mph less than the limit when approaching a speed camera... (WHY!!!!!!!)

Sorry, I don't really wish to be facetious but jeez.....leave us smokers a little peace and go hassle someone who can fight back. I know I'm weak, I smoke, I can't thus far give up but I am not an Al-Quaeda bomber, I am not running around a school with an AK47 and I am not an utterly bad person. Hell fire, if I were addicted to heroin I'd be on the receiving end of a little understanding so go check out the medical and physiological details of addiction to nicotine then get back to us heinous smokers.

Angry, p*ssed off....who me? Sorry guys but I'm gonna keep smoking in my car, the need for nicotine, particularly on a long journey, would be way more of a distraction to me than the act of smoking and just for once I'm going to dig my heels in so beat me if you wish, give me a ticket....I'm sure I'll go straight to hell!

*Cough*

Arm-less!

I can type! Yipeeee! At last!

Heaven knows what I did to myself last week but from Monday I have functioned (well kinda) with one arm, the other was all but useless and my shoulder was about as painful as anything I have experienced thus far in my life....no, correction, the most painful thing I have ever experienced! :o(

My right shoulder just wouldn't do it's stuff and no amount of painkillers rendered it tolerable even if I kept it completely immobile. After two nights with no sleep I headed for the quacks where a more powerful remedy was prescribed along with 'plenty of hot baths' .....apparently no one told her we currently still have no bathroom whilst a new one is in the process of being installed.

Time off work was not an option, my employer was having none of it and was forthcoming with even less sympathy so for three days I drove one handed, very slowly and without a seat belt (I couldn't reach it), any movement of any part of my body rendered my shoulder horribly hurting, and I hoped for the best, my theory being that having never driven belt-less or arm-less before, surely even at this, my less than lucky stage of life, I wouldn't get nicked or have an accident. For once the God's smiled on me!

Finally on Thursday morning in the wee small hours I moved my shoulder a tiny bit in error, an horrendous crack was heard, excruciating pain shot through it and it seemed to slot back into place.......and it was mended! Ok, it's still painful but every day it's getting less so and at least I can function now. Just a few more days at this rate and hopefully things will be back to normal.

I always considered I was pretty good at coping with physical pain but either I have been luck enough previously never to have been faced with it....or I was wrong and I'm no good at it at all! ;o)

How to tell if your feet smell!

Oouwwchhhh!!!

Don't ask, I don't know but ouch, ouch, ouchety, ouch...oouuwwchhhh!

Something's happened to my shoulder/neck/back, I can barely move let alone type, best I save the real post for another day.

This is not funny.....

Homeless!

Yesterday, as Fletch and I were sitting in the town centre enjoying the sunshine and a cappuccino after an afternoon in the countryside on two wheels a man approached us, maybe 30 or so years old, and asked if we would mind hanging onto his dogs lead for a few minutes whilst he went into the bakery.

I didn't need asking twice, given an option I would 'babysit' the whole of the UK's pets, so there I sat lead in hand having a little doggy chat. The dogs owner was shall we say perhaps a little learning disabled, it was hard to tell quite what his problem might be but he was a friendly guy and wehen he returned to take charge of 'Molly' I struck up a conversation with him whilst he enjoyed his sandwhich and the dog enjoyed a cornish pasty.

Molly it transpired was not his, she bleonged to his friend who sadly was in hospital, aged only 42 facing his last few weeks of life as the result of an over indulgent alcohol habit. It seemed that Molly was soon to become an orphan and this young man was about to become an adoptive parent, despite his own problems....and they were many.

For whatever reason this guy was about to lose his privately rented home, I didn't discover the why's and wherefore's of the situation but he was a quiet gentle chap and I couldn't imagine him being any trouble, he was however not working so perhaps he had been unable to keep up with his rent, who knows. The upshot of this it turned out was that the local authority couldn't house him and so he was in the process of 'practicing' being homeless! In the certain knowledge that he has only two weeks with a roof over his head he had bought himself a single skin tent for £6.99 from a bargain basement store and is living in a field on the edge of town!!!

I know there are people in the world in such dire situations that a single skin tent would perhaps be a luxury but this is not the third world, this is England, what the f*ck is going on here when a guy with limited rescources both financially and mentally is reduced to living in a tent.....and a very poor one at that! Winter is coming for God's sake, he will freeze but no one it would appear could give a damn. He had tried all the routes I suggested, this was a nice guy and whatever had gone before in his life he needed hlep and couldn't get it! Amazingly he seemed to accept his plight without anger or bitterness, to such an extent that he had undertaking his practice sessions in his tent in readiness for the 'big move'.....at least, he said, Molly would help keep him warm at night!

He may not be angry but I am and it kinda makes you count your lucky stars doesn't it, because what struck me starky is that without the support of those around me I could be in the same situation....I can't buy or rent as a bankrupt and the local authority won't house me either. Living with my parents might be difficult at times and I might hate not having a home of my own but at least I'm not living in a freaking tent!

This guy didn't deserve this....no one deserves it in a country where half the population seem to be able to run a car that costs almost the price of a house, an exaggeration I know but hell.....

In the UK in the 21st century this is an outrageous situation and one that whilst I understand the variables is completely unnacceptable.....and very scary.

This is clever.....

....and very funny. A little near the mark here and there but in a good cause! :o)

CLICK HERE

Inadvertent theft!

After work today I popped into a local supermarket to get one or two items, I gathered what I wanted and made my way to an express ( I use the phrase 'express' very loosely here) checkout to pay.

Ahead of me was a very elderly and frail looking gentleman, one of those elderly people that look like a puff of wind might blow them over. He was just leaving and as my goods were scanned through the till I packed them in the carrier bags ready laid open by the cashier. All packed, I paid and started to leave.

As I walked away I was vaguely aware of the same gentleman approaching the till again asking if he had left behind a packet of bacon, he was unable to find it in his bags and wondered if he had left it on the counter. I took little notice other than to feel a little sad for him (he looked as though he could well do with the meal), left the store and went about my business.

A couple of hours later I returned home with no though of this incident in my mind, unpacked my shopping and found, loitering at the bottom of my bag....you guessed it, a cheap packet of 'bacon bits'! The elderly man must have left the bag among the others on the checkout and I inadvertently used it without noticing it contained anything. Ok, so on a technicality I'm not sure if one can be accused of theft if one was unaware but whatever, it was in my bag and I hadn't paid for it and more to the point some poor old soul had!

I called the shop and explained what had happened hoping that maybe the customer services department had taken his address or number ( I know, fat chance!) so that I could take it to him or back to the store, but no, they couldn't even recall the incident disinterest reigned despite my giving them the till number and details of the cashier working it. They took my number and said they would call back if anything transpired......... but they won't of course.

I feel really mean, I wish I had listened properly initially and checked my bags 'just in case' rather than be in my own hurry! My only hope is that as a big chain the supermarket gave the guy another pack free of charge.....he looked as though he probably had very little cash to spare. :o(

Unclean....unclean!

There is currently in gemmaks-ville the problem of a serious water defeceit to contend with as the result of a new bathroom being installed, we currently have the plumbers in, well in actual fact even that isn't as simple as it would appear. The 'plumber' is actually my brother, who is an electrician and the plumber, his business partner, seems to be doing the electrical stuff....don't ask, I don't know!

Anyway, this malarky means we have no water, well only intermittently and we have no bath or shower at all. This is not a happy situation, come on, how is one supposed to function for five days shower-less? We do have a cloakroom however and so this evening, when the happy announcement was made that there was at last water, I thought it best I make haste and do what I could with a basin of hot water....only it wasn't hot! It was stone bloody cold, I don't 'do' cold and I have to say that standing stark naked, covered in goose bumps having what my mother refers to as a 'good old fashioned wash' was not an attractive sight or a happy experience by any stretch of the imagination.

Believe me, in this instance 'old fashioned' was not a positive and any previous ideas I had harboured regarding washing my now folorn looking hair rapidly went out of my mind.....tomorrow I think it appropriate that I sport a baseball cap instead!

Perhaps I should also carry a bell and shout unclean, unclean as I go about my business. ;o)

Just Don't Do It!

Right so we all know about Global Warming right, (CO2 build up in the Atmosphere blah blah blah)... But have you ever considered why there’s so much C02 up there... Cars? Manufacturing? Energy Production? All contributing factors I agree, but the real reason... You & Me... Think about it... We breath in Oxygen and Exhale Carbon Dioxide... (You're with me now aren’t you? No your wrong it has nothing to do with rain forests! ;o) )

But don’t worry I have a cunning plan. Lets all stop exercising! Makes sense, No? The more we exercise the more CO2 we produce… So just stop it, take your Motorbike everywhere instead (or car if you must, yuck horrible things…)

And phase 2 of the plan... Shoot all Joggers on sight... (FFS their killing our planet!).

And by no means just restricted this to Joggers, we can use this plan to eliminate all those sanctimonious ‘keep fit’ types that really annoy us with their musilli cererals and High Energy Drinks.. (Get a life!). In fact any sport that involves more than just walking should be banned... (So the English Rugby Squad are still OK to play!)

And Lads the good news... Sex will be reduced by law to only quickies... (No more of that "Do that, do this, more of that, some of that, a lot more of that and don't stop until I say so!") ;o)

So today’s moto... Just Don't Do It!

Makes perfect Sense to me...

Take it east Boyz and Girlz... :o)

Ciao Ciao
Fletch
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG Ther4 I Am

(Guest blog entry as requested by Gemmak!)

Odd ears?

I think I must just be fated where elecrical gadgetry is concerned, it seems that most of what I have bought over the years has chosen to disintegrate in a very short space of time and I promise you it is not mistreatment, I take good care of stuff.

Despite this I am well practiced at standing my ground with officious store managers trying to offload their responsibility elsewhere instead of taking ownership of the problem (and cost) and of replacements/repairs etc. etc. etc. This is in part because I am incenced at the crap that churns off production lines and in part because having spent years being the store personell on the other end of this situation I know the law and my rights inside out where faulty goods and the like are concerned.

So what is it this time? It's those damn bluetooth headset things, that for me cause way more distraction than just using the damn phone would.


I am currently on number four in approx. six months! All faulty save for one, the current new model that it would appear requires me to have enormous one size ears to keep it attached to my head!

I've had two just give up the ghost inside a few weeks, one that only answered calls intermittently and now this new delight, that if I dare to turn my head slightly, to for instance, observe traffic coming to a junction...ejects itself at high velocity to anyplace in my (also still broken) car where it is only retrievable with much scrabbling around on the floor!

I have tried everything but short of Sellotaping it to my head (or staple gunning it, thanks for that suggestion Fletch)I'm on a loser here....it just wont stay put, I wonder what tomorrows upcoming 'contretemps' with a store manager will bring on this issue?

Maybe I just have odd ears!

Gimme a break!

Jeez....just how many more bits are going to fall off my crap car I wonder, please, just one week without something going wrong would be good!

I've had this godforsaken thing since it was new, 6 years and almost from the day it's warranty expired it began to disintegrate, most of it logged on this blog along the way.

Thursday the exhaust fell off, this evening driving back from Cambridge a warning light on the dash started to flash furiously at me....not just any old oil light, something I could rectify, nope, this was the one the manual stipulates one must stop immediately for should it light. I've been here before, last time it cost me an arm and a leg, so I stopped! Thankfully I was near to a service station so at least I could get coffee....well that was the theory but both coffee machines were u/s so I couldn't even achieve that.

I called the rescue service who promptly attended.... almost two hours later, popped the bonnet and kindly told me he was surprised I had gotten 3 years out of 'this car' let alone 6! Thanks mister. He went on to tell me I would be better off getting a loan and buying a new one....I didn't see the point in explaining that car loans aren't readily available to recently discharged bankrupts.

Heap of crap car was duly hooked up to a pretty funky all weather laptop and a failed sensor on the catalytic converter was diagnosed, along with the recommendation that I 'limp it home' because the rescue vehicle would be at least another two hours. On the upside he told me with a smile (grrr), if I broke down again and was stranded on the hard shoulder of the M25 it would take less than half an hour to recover me......women on the hardshoulder in the dark are not considered in a safe position and get pronto service.....hey, I knew there had to be an upside somewhere.

So that's it, crap car is poorly yet again, back to the garage tomorrow....more money, more aggravation.

Arggghhh, gimme a break here!

Enduro!

I know it's taken me a week but finally I have got around to blogging last weekends antics in the Lake District.....an enduro weekend with Eloisa and Fletch courtesy of the XRV.org a forum on which Fletch currently spends much of his life and that is dedicated to those who are the utterly demented proud owners of an XRV (Africa Twin).


A rough translation of this would be along the lines that 60-70 mad men (and three women) got together in the Lakes for some very muddy and mad off-roading, a little tarmac fun and probably way too much interest in late night revelry....though this had to be somewhat controlled given that we all had to be legal and on the ball for the daytime riding!

We had a ball.

Fletch rode up on the Thursday morning, I, given that my wonderful employer only allows me 2 weeks leave a year and I didn't dare take another sickie was left with the options of driving up after work on Friday(ugh in my small car) or taking the train. I opted for the latter and was soon to regret it. I remembered almost immediately why I haven't used a train for literally decades! This delightful mode of transport allowed me less room that an economy flight, was hot, noisy and having only travelled 30 minutes of a 3.5 hour journey we met with unexplained 'delays', resulting in a 40 minute loss and my missing my connection! FFS!

Eventually I made it though and was duly picked up at Oxenholme station by Fletch, who had taken my gear up with him to save me lugging it all on the train. This presented a small problem, there was nowhere to get changed, so it being dusk and quiet there was only one thing for it, get into it all on the side of the road....getting undressed and into leathers in a hurry is no mean feat but I managed it with some degree of decorum.


The camp site was in Dent, a lovely little village in Sedburgh, we made it through the lanes by 11.00 pm where I was met with a field full of tents and bikes and a proper dinner!


One of our number it turned out was an excellent camping chef and had knocked up a really good meal on one ring late at night for the three of us. This was to continue, we had our own personal biking chef for the weekend! :o)

Fletch and the gang had done most of the offroad stuff on the Friday, I was sorry to have missed it but as it's not a game that is easily (if at all) played carrying a pillion the timing was good and as Fletch managed to turn Eloisa rubber side up on a couple of occasions (fair comment off road incidentally and at least not anything like as painful as on road!) at least it meant I didn't have to clean my leathers!



Saturday we split into smaller groups (see, thoughtful bikers not creating a mass hazard on small roads) and went on various ride-outs. Ours was destined for Wastwater and Hardknott Pass. Having just ridden umpteen passes in the Alps we were a little complacent about this but we were to get our comeuppance.... Hardknott was damn hard!


Ok, the risk to life and limb was not the same, there weren't 300 meter drops to fall over if we came off but the terrain and road surface added to the extreme incline on bends made it a real test! One of course that Fletch was equal too, though there were moments when we though we might lose it and end up in an ungainly heap.....as some did! ;o)


*Note to car drivers, please don't misjudge the bends and bounce your vehicle off the sides to within a foot of my thigh!

The Lakes have long held very difficult memories for me and to be honest I wasn't completely enthralled at having to be there again but I have to say that whilst it will never really be a place that 'does it' for me, it is a very beautiful area and the fun and madness we had kept the memories at bay.....mostly :o)

Amazing weekend, amazing group of people and amazing riding.

The images are not all mine and those that are came only from my phone so apologies for the quality, I was too busy trying to stay on and run the video camera to take many pictures!

I'm a bad, bad blogger....

.....in fact I'm worse, I've barely been a blogger at all this last week!

Somehow I just didn't seem to have the wherewithal to 'get to it', it's been a kind of crap week one way and another, only added too today by my car exhaust falling off unceremoniously on my way home from work. Grrrr.

But hey, it's Friday tomorrow which means the weekend and weekends are always good, so maybe next week I'll have got my act together somewhat and will manage to be a better behaved blogger!

Have a good one guys :o)

Oh....and coincidentally I found THIS was today's 'Daily Om'. Strange how that happens sometimes...or fortuitous!

Some things never change...

....and one of them is Tilly's penchant for endearing stupidity!

This is the latest offering from her new mum:


It's still very difficult for me to think of her as never coming back and I still feel very, horribly kind of jealous when I hear she wakes 'V' chewing her hair, like she did mine or that she loves her new mum to cuddle her etc. etc. etc. but it's also very good to know she's now completely settled and seemingly as happy as a pig in muck in her new home.

Maybe before to long I can handle a little visit.....and then again maybe I should leave it a bit longer! :o/