There are some things that perhaps for our own dignity we should never share but also, as one rarely able to resist a challenge we have to break that rule, or I do at least!The challenge in this case comes from a competition launched by Urbanvox, to blog 'your most embarrassing incident ever'. I don't embarrass easily so stories in this vein are few and far between but there is one which instantly comes to mind, which perhaps not for the reasons one might imagine, managed to have me curling up inside and wishing the ground would open up beneath me very quickly...so here goes, I will do my very best to word this appropriately but be warned, it's content is adult in nature and maybe not for the faint of heart.
Embarrassing incident - Part 1.
It began as what should have been, and for the most part was, a very pleasant evening, the specifics of when, where and who I won't share to protect the innocent but the scenario was an evening with a very nice man, pretty early on in the relationship, early enough that what followed was far from ideal!
So, for the incident to begin let's just say that late on in the evening things became a little 'heated' and the physical aspect of this date became shall we say fulfilled. It was at this point, after it was too late, that I suddenly remembered with some degree of horror, that I was er....wearing internal feminine protection! No, before you ask, neither of us noticed, I don't know why or how but we didn't, but oh how I wish that we had!
I made light of the situation (as you do) and in the wee small hours went home to what I can only describe as a fraught hour or two of 'fishing and ferreting' in vain and desperately more frantic attempts to retrieve the offending item. It was a complete 'fail'. I trawled the internet for information on my problem and I tried all the recommended tricks but still to no avail, I couldn't even locate it the damn thing!
Now I know enough about physiology to know it couldn't get 'lost' but the (albeit rare) possibility of TSS had to be considered, so eventually I fell into bed and decided I would address the whole debacle again when I woke up.
Embarrassing incident - Part 2.
Sunday morning dawned and I decided I had no option but to attend my local A&E department...who found the entire story highly amusing and thanked me for brightening their Sunday morning! Thanks guys, I'm glad to be of service! My situation of course is not too unusual in A&E circles but the specifics of my physiological case (don't read too much into that, I have a tilted womb, for the ladies who have one you know the issues, ok, TMI maybe) meant that what should have been a simple procedure became almost an hour of the 'legs in stirrups thing', while various doctors peered and poked with various versions of forcept! This was not a fun experience but finally the job was done and I shuffled off home feeling a little battle scarred.
The finale.
Now, all that might be pretty embarrassing for many but like I said, I'm not easily given to embarrassment so thus far in this tale I had mostly seen the funny, if slight panic stricken side, the final part however was the really dire bit.
I arrived home to be met by my concerned parents. I had already managed to explain reasonably discreetly to my mother why I was making a quick dash to A&E but had spared my father the information, he was never good at that stuff but on my arrival he insisted on being told 'what was up'! Jeez.
My mother and myself tried as best we could to find a way to tell him I was fine and he didn't need to know more detail but he just wasn't having it..... and believe me when I say, being reduced to standing in front of one's father, who was himself mortally uncomfortable talking about such things, trying to explain the specifics of my previous 18 hours, has to be the most embarrassing incident of my life! By comparison the rest was a walk in the park!!!
