Wonders will never cease!

At last! The white van from hell has a new prop-shaft!!

This may not sound like heaven to you but for me, who has had the displeasure of near dragging the offending vehicle along behind me these last two weeks, it is a gift of large and much coveted proportions!

No longer does my every minute pressure on the accelerator cause there to be unnerving shuddering below me, no longer do I sound like an approaching tribe of over excited banshees and finally, oh joy, when I hit the gas I am propelled forward at a reasonable rate as opposed to having to sort through a selection of low gears in an effort to merely keep going! Ok, so this is still not anything Schumacher would be fighting to drive but it is a a very large step forward.

Yes, there are still the airless tyres, lack of heater, jammed door, failed fan and one (slow) speed wipers to attend too but I am for now just thankful for small mercies!

Oh....and it's Friday tomorrow, so it's all good. It's seemed a hell of a time in coming this week but who cares now, it's almost here and a Friday is a Friday and not to be sniffed at, two whole days of nice stuff and sleeping and not a white van in sight!

***************
On the subject of Friday's, tomorrow is likely to be a difficult one for someone very close to me (you know who you are), a day of uncertainty, mixed emotions and upheaval, so my friend, if you read this, know I am thinking of you and that I wish I could do more to help.

Aversion therapy!

Luckily it's owner wasn't home! ;o)


(Clickable)

Another meme

I have no idea now who I stole this from but if you recognise it as yours, thanks....but what happened to the '4's?

As ever...if you wanna have a go feel free, just let me know so I can go look.

TEN FIRSTS

First Best Pal: 'Karen'
First Hamster: Never had one
First Piercing: Ears,...my only piercing.
First Crush: Hell....that was a long time ago....some boy in my 3rd year of junior school, his name escapes me.
First CD: I dont remember.
First Car: A lime green 'mini'.
First Love: 'Robert'
First Stuffed Animal: A teddy my Godmother gave me the day I was born, I still have him but he's a little 'delicate' now!
First Teacher: Don't recall her name but she was scary!
First Watch: Tiny 'timex' with a navy blue face.

NINE LASTS

Last Beverage: Coffee of course!
Last Vehicle Ride: Drove home from work.
Last Movie Seen: Highlander.
Last Phone Call: A friend.
Last CD Played: A compilation in my car.
Last Bubble Bath: Last night.
Last Time You Cried: About two hours ago.
Last Person who gave you a hug: Um....
Last Time you rang your mum/dad/guardian: This afternoon.

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS

Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Nope.
Have you ever been arrested: No
Have you ever skinny dipped: Yes.
Have you ever been on TV: Yes.
Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: No...the regret is those I didn't kiss! ;o)
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you knew: Excuse me...there are some things even I don't blog!
Have you ever been in love: Yes.
Have you ever wanted to slap/punch a friend: No.

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING

1 Fleece
2 Fleece jacket...ok, I'm cold!
3 Knickers
4 Socks
5 Slippers (oh, this is painting an attractive picture - not)
6 Earrings
7 Ring

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY (in no particular order)
1. Got up.
2. Wanted to sleep!
3. Smoked too much.
4. Had a Tilly 'conversation'.
5. Been to work.
6. Procrastinated.

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER

1. Tilly.
2. Chocolate.
3. Cuddles
4. Sleeping!
5. Maple sugar.

THREE CHOICES

1. Eat or drink: Eat
2. Blonde or brunette: No preference.
3. Pink or black: PINK!!!!


TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Realise my dream.
2. Feel content that I have done most of the things I wanted to do before I die!

I could...

...if I wasn't so perpetually knackered of late, regale you with tales of the white van from hell, of how my rear offside tyre still remains unrepaired and requires that I find among my daily calls to various mechanical workshops, one kind soul or another with an air-line just handy and ready to offer assistance in keeping me on the road!

I could tell you about the prop shaft that has now been received from the manufacturers but still loiters unhelpfully in it's packing instead of loitering in it's proper place among the components that make up my van.

I could perhaps amuse you with tales of customer complaints......yup, customers it seems in all 'walks' of life, not just my previous life, like to complain much more than they like to shout joyously at how impressed they are that in the torrential rain I stand there like a fool day after day getting saturated, just so they can have something to eat for lunch. Today's complaint I could add, that apparently warranted an abusive phone call, was that I had delivered five pints of milk to a customer and the bottles didn't all carry the same 'use by' date. They were of course all in date just not the same!!!!....WTF is that all about then?

I could tell you of the less than moral business practices I am encouraged to pursue, but that I don't and won't, which seems to cause my new employer a deal of exasperation and consternation, or I could enlighten you as to how I am encouraged to break the speed limits and/or use the company mobile phone while driving to keep to the impossible schedules.

I would like to amuse you with a tale of how I (very gently) backed my van into another this morning, it was the fault of a dog, a puppy infact, that had unfairly attracted my attention by looking so cute and cuddly and who's cute and cuddliness caused me to perform this maneuver infront of a queue of customers! No damage done, well in the case of my van one would be unable to detect any if there was some it is already so battered, but the vehicle of the other party was rendered unhurt! My pride however was not but I considered it the better part of valor, under the circumstances, to take the 'woman driver' jokes and jibes without complaint. ;o)

....and finally, if I had any energy to post I might tell you just how rewarding and fulfilling delivering sandwiches for a living is but I'd be fibbing...... and besides the 5am starts are still killing me, so instead of blogging I'll just go watch Corrie....and fall asleep yet again! ;o)

Really...

....I promise you, I haven't forgotten that I'm supposed to post something here from time to time other than images, it's just that I'm so so tired!

This working for a living business, along with the 5am wake up call, is taking some getting used to and if I'm not chasing around the countryside in the van from hell then I seem to be able to do little more in the way of anything constructive than sleep!

Bear with me please while I get my second wind.....

Invisible bike!

Well I think it's funny! ;o)

Baptism by fire! ~ Part 1

Today, my first day off from this confounded working malarkey and what happens? I don't imagine it's too hard to hazard a guess that Tilly has, in her inimitable way, had me up and out of bed since 05.30!! Bloody hell fire, that's only a half hour later than my weekday 'stumbling out of bed' time but apparently to small cats that is of no consequence, she would like company and so I have to provide it! Ugh....all I want is some sleep!

So how did my first two days alone on the road go? I think the best and most positive word I can use to describe them is 'interesting'!

My allocated van is no joy, in fact to say it is a disaster would probably be an understatement. The thing is an eyesore having seemingly had every panel and bumper make contact with a hard object at some point in it's history, and whether it's even roadworthy is very questionable! It's refrigeration unit I was told leaks a 'little', where in actual fact it creates a small internal waterfall, I have no heater in the cab and no fan, they should be there, they are in there in principle, they are just completely dysfunctional and as a consequence, on days like the last two where it has been cold and wet outside, the inside of my windscreen has been running with condensation!

The mechanics of this wonderful vehicle are no better. It sports a gear box that takes the strength of ten men to force into any gear, two tyres with very persistent slow punctures and a propshaft that is so past it's sell by date that it 'clunks' very worryingly and constantly and if I dare to put it under any load at all, screams like a stuck pig! This is all very well but kindly souls on the pavement and in other vehicles keep trying to draw my attention to it to warn me I have a problem....like I can't hear it for myself! It's reminiscent of a hoard of banshees screaming.....how could I miss it?! The brakes 'bind' and pull, the steering requires to be coaxed from permanently attempting to put me into whatever is on the nearside of me, the exhaust has seen better days and the windscreen wipers only have one speed.....very slow! Oh....and there is no water in the washer bottle, that shouldn't be a problem in itself but for the fact I can't find the bonnet 'pop' and no one else seems (despite this van having been there's for over four years) to know where it is!

How this vehicle made it's way through an MOT test is anyone's guess but I have to say that when I am hammering it along country lanes trying to adhere to my drop times I have little confidence in it's safety or ability to make it to my destination without coming to a grinding halt in some Godforsaken out of the way place!

Hmmmm, what can I say? This vehicle does not inspire confidence but it does if nothing else provide me with a daily challenge just getting it from point 'A' to point 'B'....a challenge is a good thing right??

~ To be continued~

Puppies? Kittens?

Forgive my skepticism!

Read the story HERE

© Reuters

My apologies but.....

.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

White van woman

Ok...I'll admit it, today was some improvement on yesterday when I was tempted to take a hike before I had even completed day 1!

Today was another day (my final, eekkk) of 'learning the ropes' which meant of course another day accompanied by my boss and another day of no break, food or cigarettes but I was at least allowed to drive the route myself and in his van, a new Transit.

Ok, I accept this is not a treat on the scale of driving a DB9 but it is newer and bigger than the van I will be allocated and playing at 'white van woman' was not without it's amusement. It's surprising just how much more one can get away with pushing and shoving into traffic when the vehicle is significantly larger than average. I probably didn't make any friends but I do now have a very small understanding of why white van man exists....hey, I have a route and a pre-determined 'drop' timetable I have to adhere to strictly and complete by a set time.....and no, it isn't generous in timing, quite the reverse! If I drove sedately I would be out of work again in no time, my new timetable is my bible apparently and to be worshipped suitably yada, yada, yada.

That said it was kinda fun, I felt more in control today, was only late for one drop, made up my time, ran the rest of it without any mess up and made it back in time.

Um.....let's not get too confident here, tomorrow I have to go it alone, anything could, and probably will happen and I am soooo tired right now I don't know what to do with myself, but anything has got to be better than how I felt this time yesterday! :o)

Day one

What a relief....I woke up at 05.00 hrs in time for my first day back at work, though some might say it's hardly surprising given that I had set four alarms in my state of paranoia last night, that I would oversleep!

That was about where the good news ended mind you. By 05.10 Tilly had very 'helpfully' deposited the entire contents of a packet of cereal on the dining room floor necessitating that I clear it up and risk waking the whole household in the process.....oh how popular that would have made me!

From there on in it was kinda downhill, this job, though it maybe holds some small promise for improvement does not fill me with any degree of passion at this stage..... and the fact that I went the entire day until home time with only one cigarette, and no food or drink didn't cheer me none either, other than for the simple reason that I don't think I have ever gone that long without nicotine in the last 25 years!

At this point I don't relish tomorrow, my head is a tired muddle of routes, prices, fillings, orders and timings and the panic that I'm supposed to have it all sussed by the end of tomorrow to take it on alone on Thursday. I have a sneaking suspicion that by mid morning Thursday I'm going to be completely lost but hey ho, if nothing else that's day one over with and I suppose it can only get better....can't it?

Can I go sleep now?

A new chapter?

That's it, I am no longer living at the cost of the taxpayer, I signed off the 'rock and roll' today, thank goodness, though annoyingly I didn't get to see one of the many dragons the DSS employ that I have in the past and consequently didn't feel I could 'impose' my opinion of the system as a parting shot, on the very young girl who sat across the desk from me politely telling me how happy she was that I'd got a job. Dammit! ;o)

So what next, tomorrow morning at 06.30 I start my new job. I feel as though I'm supposed to be elated or happy or some other highly positive emotion but in actual fact I'm just freaking terrified very apprehensive. It's been a long time since I had the 'privilege' of working full time and for a worry guts like myself that immediately brings to mind plenty to worry about! Will I get up in time or will two alarm clocks and Tilly fail me? What if I don't like my new colleagues, or worse still they don't like me? What if I mess up somehow and make a complete pigs ear of it all? What if, what if, what if?.....

Hopefully this is the start of a new (and improved) chapter in the debacle that has been my life since last summer, the start of better things to come but it's odd how we human beings (or at least some of us) hate change and it's odder still that however awful the last six months of my life have been I have none the less fallen into some degree of routine that, whilst it may not have been good, has in a strange way become familiar and hence kind of comfortable....dragging oneself out of that comfort zone is as scary as hell, however much it was hell itself at times.

I know deep down I'll be fine, I might even enjoy it but I just wish I was two weeks down the line when all this 'scary first bit' is over and I can begin to settle down to some degree of feeling it is my normality, that I know the ropes and what is currently unfamiliar territory becomes part of my new routine.

Ekkkk....here goes.....

Time for a meme

Stolen from Paddy.

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
"If you're using Opera as your browser and you want to import your bookmarks into Firefox..." Firefox & Thunderbird Garage, my dads not mine!

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
....and then what??

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Um..... can't remember, it was weeks ago, or longer.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
08.55

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
09.16

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The dishwasher

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
About 10 minutes ago for a cigarette.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My email

9. What are you wearing?
Knickers and a duvet.

10. Did you dream last night?
Can't remember, I don't think so though.

11. When did you last laugh?
About 20 mins ago.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Wallpaper!

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Nope.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Um....

15. What is the last film you saw?
Pirates of the Carribean.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A boat.

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
I don't know what you already know about me!

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Eradicate all forms of discrimination.

19. Do you like to dance?
Only if no one is watching!

20. George Bush
Who?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
No idea.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Ditto #21

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes.

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
So we are assuming there is a God?

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Hey....do it if you want to, my days of landing people with these things are over. Just let me know if you do so I can go read :o)

GOT IT!!

The job that is!

Yes, as of next Tuesday yours truly will no longer be an unemployment statistic, but instead a fully paid up member of the rat race again, back to the business of nine to five, well ok not actually nine to five but more on that later, back to earning a living and likely, after the novelty has worn off, grumbling about having to go to work again.....but for now it feels pretty good, I have a full time job, yayyyyyy.

Ok, so this is not a career move, this is not a job to die for and I'm highly unlikely to be giving Bill Gates a run for his money (no pun intended) in the salary stakes but it sure beats the dole...though likely once the Official Receiver gets his/her share I'm not gonna be patronising Prada or hitting Harrods anytime soon....but it is a job.

So what is this job? I'm not sure it has a title but it involves driving a nifty little van around offices and factories etc. delivering and selling sandwiches and other lunch and break time culinary paraphernalia to those cooped up in their work places from nine to five.

Like I say, it's not career move but it has promise of being a bit of fun, very little stress (more stress I don't need right now) and will pay me a wage while I try and gather up the rest of my life and put it back into some semblance of order.

There is of course a down side...starting time is 06.30 hrs!!!..... so no more late nights for gemmak for the foreseeable future, but the upside to that of course is that my work day finishes at 14.30 hrs, leaving me with a nice big bit of the day left to play. Oh and it's Monday to Friday so I get to keep my now much revered weekends.

Hell, it's years since I worked full time, it's gonna kill me for a few weeks, I think sleep will be top of my leisure time activity agenda for a while but hey, who cares, I get a pay cheque at the end of the week and absolutely the best bit of all....I can tell the miserable old trout in the dole office to 'go to hell' (in the politest possible fashion of course) on Monday! Working full time is worth it just for that pleasure alone.

.....and thank you all for your wishes of good luck yesterday. If luck had anything to do with it then you lot surely helped as ever you have over these last few somewhat 'trying' months.

Do group hugs work in the blogosphere? If they do then consider yourselves duly hugged! :o) Cheers guys.

Yikes.......

......I have a job interview today!

A little extreme!

Somehow I don't imagine 'madam' allowing this sort of carry on!


Did you ever see such a more miserable looking cat face?

'My rock'

So where have I been all weekend, what kept me from this little patch in the blogosphere? Cornwall is the short answer...but of course this being me and my being renowned for using ten words where three would suffice, I'll give you the longer version!

Since about the age of nine, which is far more years ago than I care to recall, I have had a 'favorite place in the world'. Ok, so I haven't actually seen much of the world but of that I have seen Trebarwith Strand in Cornwall is absolutely the best bit.


As a child I went there on a family holiday and I visited many times subsequently..... to this day it remains my place of solace, a place of peace and healing, there is a tiny place on the cliff face rocks that I consider 'my rock' and in times of trouble, if I can't get there (which usually logistically I can't) it has been my calming visualization. At low tide this place boasts an amazing surfing beach but it is at high tide I really love it, when the sometimes immense waves crash endlessly against the rock face and the beach disappears completely beneath meters of raging, powerful waves.


So Saturday, having hooked up with Fletch who has his new love 'Eloisa' to become truly accustomed to and having been told we would ride to the West Country 'somewhere' off we set on a beautiful but cold November morning, for what I envisaged to be maybe a couple of hundred miles. I do not do 'cold', I mean I really don't do cold, leathers let me tell you are not made for warmth, they are made for safety.....and 600 miles later I was bloody cold! Fletch may have been in his high tech all weather gear and he may have been on the front but whilst he was warm and snug I lost all sense of feeling in my lower limbs and completely lost track of where my hands used to reside!



But, and here is the big but, having made mention at sometime previously of 'my rock' little did I know that was where we were headed until finally about an hours ride away I 'fell in' and all thoughts of the cold were lost in my excitement at seeing once again the place I love so much.

We arrived in beautiful bright clear sunshine (is this really November?) in the mid afternoon to an amazing and unusually high tide and he could barely get the bike on the side stand before I was rushing off over the rocks to my very favorite special little bit of the cliff face. I was 'home' again. :o)

We booked into the local cliff top hotel , a place I have long wished to stay in, it's rooms overlooking the beautiful vista of the beach and rugged cliffs, I have always imagined falling asleep to the sound of the waves breaking against the rocks and Saturday night, at an embarrassingly early hour (hey, riding pillion is hard work), under a bright moonlight I did just that, left the window open and fell asleep listening to the sound of the sea. Amazing.



Sunday morning is was back onto Eloisa and on the road again, this time the less scenic but faster motorway route home. I forgot just how much stamina is required to ride any distance in the cold....600 miles later and I'm shattered, I can only guess how tired Fletch is having had to do the real hard bit but it was a fantastic weekend, a real treat and worth every numb finger and toe.

Thank you Fletch, you're a star :o)

You can read the version 'from the front' HERE.

*Apologies for the image size and quality, um, I ran out of battery and had to use my phone! :o/

Ooopsss...

......I seem not to have been too forthcoming on the posting front these last few days, my only excuse, I have been 'playing out'. I'll try and make up for my lax attitude later on today I promise! ;o)

Feline assistance!

It being autumn and all that my mother decided that having got the garden into a suitable state of over-wintering she really ought to get the 'gardening shelf' in the cupboard tidied up before she abandoned it completely for the year...Tilly decided she would 'help'......not!


(Clickable)

All is not as it seems

Having spent most of another weekend back in the saddle riding pillion I feel it is my duty as a woman to point out to all you guys out there that make lewd flattering comments about women in leathers...... that all is not as it seems!

It's winter you see, or at least it's fast heading that way and that means only one thing ...it's damn cold out there. The cold must be fought somehow and the preference is for rather ungainly and certainly not remotely sexy undergarments!

Suffice to say, I pity any poor A&E staff should I ever be unfortunate enough to hit the tarmac (unlikely though it is, the 'guy on the front' is good, believe me I wouldn't be on the back if he weren't) who has to cut me out of my leathers only to find an horrendously ugly exquisite set of thermal underwear, really guys, this is not the stuff of Agent Provocateur!

So chaps (no pun intended), next time you ogle the leather clad rear of a female biker, you might like to bear that delightful visualisation in mind! ;o)