Frilly!

Having launched my old camera rather clumsily onto the floor around Christmas time, I just had to buy myself a new one shame! but like everything these days it's taken me forever to actually find time to use it.

However, 'N' bought me flowers earlier this week - no, he hadn't upset me - so finally I managed to have a little fiddle with my new toy.

Life is....

....mad, hectic, pretty stressful and very frustrating right now but as someone once said 'I'll be back'!

For your amusement - The Scrollwheel!

Oh how we have all been here one way or another!! ;)

Now here's a thing!

What is it they say about never being satisfied?

Well here is an example! I don't know how many times I typed here or wished that I 'had a life' to coin a current phrase. I spent most of my time online one way and another and whilst I enjoyed it I wanted more, a life outside of this virtual world. Don't get me wrong, I have always thought of my virtual friends as my real friends, I don't differentiate, whilst there are those that will always say this is not 'real', I have always and still do think otherwise and have met some very great friends 'for real' who I originally knew from this online world.

However, I digress. My point is this; I have a life now, one outside of the virtual one. I have 'N', I have my job and I have the ongoing big issue to deal with that I keep mentioning vaguely here but can't blog the details of (I will someday when I can work out how). The latter is not a positive but it takes up much of my time and even more of my energy but one way and another, I now have a life, as they say.

But I miss my virtual life! Stamps small foot

I have so little time for blogging now, I manage most days to post something half hearted on Facebook but I rarely make it to my other favourite haunt of days gone by, Twitter and trying to keep up with emails is a constant battle.

Life never seems to hit a happy medium, it's all or nothing it would appear and I really would like to have a little more opportunity for this stuff but by the time I sit down in front of my lappy most days all I want to do is sleep and stringing a few sentences together is way beyond me.....but I do keep trying.

See...never satisfied!

New year...new me!

Well then, my first resolution of the year appears to have failed already...that I will blog more doesn't seem to have happened but I am here now and at least it's still the first week of the new year! There is hope!

So...resolutions, I don't usually do them, I see them as another way to set oneself up to fail but this time, whilst it's not quite a resolution I have promised myself I will do my level best to make some changes.

This is all pretty easy to type here but I am well aware that the doing it will require more than a little determination to see it through and that it will be all too easy to lose sight of the goal but I am determined and I am writing the goal here so I can't forget....because you lot hopefully won't let me.

The goal; Well I have spent the better part of the last two years feeling like I have been trying to keep everyone happy but me, putting the needs of others before myself and more importantly letting circumstances and situations run my life for me. Maybe that had to be for a time and I just had to live like that but the time has come where I have to become more proactive and make the changes I need happen.

It's going to take diplomacy - not my forte - it's going to take balls - I'm scared to death - and it's going to take time and strength but I'm going to do it, come hell or high water this year I need to put me first some of the time and begin to make life what I want it to be....or at least make steps in the right direction.

No doubt I will fall by the wayside here and there and no doubt I will lose sight of my goal from time to time but by this time next year some significant things will have changed in gemmak's-ville.

You have my permission to nag me and kick my ass should you see me losing my direction along the way...in fact, please do!

HAPPY NEW YEAR guys :)