Fat face!

Hopefully this will be the singularly most unflattering picture I will ever post here so if you have a mind to crack jokes take your chance now, the fact that my head appears to be rectangular I hope is down to the poor lens on my phone, the rest,well it is what it is!

As anyone who has visited here before will know (only too well I hear you mutter)I have some significant dental issues, the teeth all look fine but they are far from it. In part it's just misfortune, I have always taken good care of them but in larger part it's down to the inefficiency of the N.H.S. dental services and in my opinion, the greed of dentists. I won't regale you with the years of problems I have had, the are well documented here already and as ever I suspect the word 'greed' and 'dentists' in one sentence will lay me open again to comment hassle from the profession but it is a fact, yet again I am suffering because the dentist I currently have wouldn't carry out the treatment at N.H.S. charges (I am an N.H.S. patient), preferring instead to require me to pay the private fee of just short of £2000...or no deal! Gotta love the caring professions!

Anyhow, all that aside, Christmas Eve saw me begin to 'nurture' yet another abscess, hey, I'm used to the damn things, I have emergency antibiotics always on stand-by and I duly began the course but this one it transpired, was to be the mother of all abbesses and it paid little heed to the meds, in fact no heed at all and by Christmas morning the 'Fat Face' had grown to it's almost full glory.

I can honestly say I have never known pain like it. It was utterly horrible and not what I had asked Santa for at all!. Christmas Day was a wash out, I did manage to suck my way through the soft bits of a Christmas lunch but aside from that I spent most of the day either on the phone to N.H.S. Direct or waiting for their dentist to call me back. I was trying to ignore the 'comforting' words of my own dentist that one can expire from this ailment and even if I had I felt inclined too I couldn't even raise a smile....my mouth wouldn't move in the smile direction.

The long and the short of it is that I was referred to A & E, who much to my chagrin took the whole situation scarily too seriously for my liking but ultimately posted me back out the door with two types of antibiotics and a string of other instructions and pain meds. In total I was taking, until yesterday, 23 tablets a day. I don't do pain meds! Well not usually but really, this time it was off my usual coping scale.

I now merely sport a rather large gob-stopper in the side of my face, my eye and my chin seem to have reappeared, I am down to 18 tablets and I have an appointment late next week with a new dentist the hospital recommended.

Oh hell, now all I have to do is face the fear, it's going to be two root canals and an extraction is my best guess but I'm trying not to think about it......yet :(

....but on the positive side, though my holiday has been crap, it would have been a whole lot worse to have to go to work feeling like this!

The logistics of poorly

It has become apparent to me over the last few months taking care of TP that where chronic severe illness is concerned one is required to have skills way and above those of a good bedside manner and a strong stomach!

The N.H.S. is fantastic in many ways, the knowledge and excellence of the professionals is second to none,the care shown by nursing staff is the same and the facilities, even in this age of complaining that nothing is ever good enough are pretty phenomenal for a service, which at the point of delivery is free.

However, trying to negotiate and manage all of this has become a full time job for me and one which if there were a job description might include;

An ability to communicate at all levels, at least three years management experience in a similar role, administration skills, a degree in pharmacology, an understanding of oncology and physiology, enjoy working under pressure and in a challenging environment and ability to work well alone or as part of a team.

This is not a complaint, if there is someone in my position to do this stuff then why should N.H.S resources be used when they could instead be available to fund more critical care to someone else, but I do wonder how anyone, elderly and or very ill without support, might manage to co-ordinate the numerous necessary services and appointments that it is required to negotiate for appropriate care to be delivered.

I have a file over an inch thick now of associated paperwork all at some stage of action, spreadsheets for drugs and chemo. regimes, lists of people I need to call for various reasons, references for reading I need to find time for to better understand what I am dealing with and consequently not mess up badly or dangerously and appointments requiring attending....and each two hour appointment in reality is a whole day once the travelling and waiting times are taken into consideration.

And I thought I was unemployed! I may not be salaried but the reality is that whilst the service delivered by the health authority is, from a medical point of view pretty amazing, the majority of the time I am left to my own devices with half knowledge trying to manage a situation that I am far from qualified to understand and which requires I make decisions, that if I mess up could be at lest life-altering for TP.

One day at a time

Well, things are pottering along in gemmak's-ville much as you would expect, we are taking life one day at a time and getting through the tough bits as a pretty good small team.

The NHS I have to say, comes into it's own under these circumstances, the medical professionals and all the support systems have swung into action without issue and it's all pretty much running without hitch, though one does begin to feel that a degree in administration should be indicated to keep it all together! Quite how people without help manage to keep track of it all I'm not sure.

Day on day we are mostly in good spirits and despite the trials of the situation we are having a pretty good time and laughing a lot. My nurses hat is firmly positioned, though to be honest it doesn't look particularly good with jeans, and I have managed to overcome my usually extremely squeamish predilections and wield an injection or two whilst still maintaining an upright position!......be impressed please!

Tis life as they say, not always as one would choose it but life, much as we would like to think otherwise is not always entirely within our control, how we deal with it however is and things are going pretty well thus far, given the situation we are presented with.

And while I'm about it, to those of you out there who have given your, as ever, unstinting support, you know who you are and I thank you...much!

A small step forward

If you can bear to wade through all of this please try, the important bit comes last!

As anyone who has been a regular reader here will know, I detest going to the dentist and whilst I am well aware that no-one relishes it, my dislike goes the irrational extra mile to a diagnosed phobia. However, not wishing for my teeth to fall apart I have had all the psych. treatments and have rarely missed an appointment in my life, save for the five years I lived in Scotland, where dentists no longer play the NHS game and as a consequence I couldn't even get registered!

All this effort paid off, or so it seemed. I have only two fillings to date, relatively pristine white teeth and all was looking well, my sleepless nights before an appointment and hours of sitting rigid and sweating in the dentists chair, employing one or other coping mechanism to prevent the 'flight' aspect of the flight or fight response catapulting me out of the door had worked, it was all worth it...wrong! Sods law of course just had to dictate otherwise!

I was recently diagnosed with advanced periodontal disease which for those of you not familiar is a severed form of what we usually refer to as gum disease and in it's early stages has few easily detectable symptoms. The 'lucky' ones get the early warning of bleeding gums, I didn't and added to that, mine was taking hold the time I was in Scotland and so through no fault of my own it went undiagnosed at a stage when intervention was important. I won't start though on all that again, it's well documented here previously and if you have a mind too you can find it all by clicking the 'dentistry' tag in the sidebar.

So, what's the upshot of all of this? Well, in a nutshell my otherwise perfectly healthy teeth are literally falling out of my head, one gone already, one as wobbly as a child's and most of the remaining molars beginning to wobble tentatively! For me, as I suspect it would be for many this is pretty horrifying not only for the obvious reasons but also in my case because it means lots of dental treatment in an effort to hang onto them as long as possible...though that may not be very long! Add to that perio. disease can be a factor in the risk of heart attack.

None of this was helped by an unfortunate encounter recently with a particularly brusque and unsympathetic dentist, who managed in one fell swoop to reinstate my previously almost beaten dental phobia in one visit, by telling me he needed to extract XYZ teeth 'now'...and wouldn't entertain either discussion or my fear. Needless to say I declined his offer and set about some research.

As a result yesterday I had an appointment with a private dental hygienist, even attending the hygienist fills me with dread these days, in fact the mere mention of anything dental does, quite literally even the word 'dentist' sends my anxiety and adrenaline levels sky high, so much so that this post has been a long time in coming, I couldn't even get it written down until now!

And that's where the title 'a small step forward' comes in. I made it to the appointment calm enough to hold a coherent conversation and not as high as a kite on diazepam and the woman herself was fab, she took time with me, she explained my options at length and with honesty and she promised me that whilst I will still likely lose some, if not all of my teeth, as long as I keep doing what she tells me she will make every effort to enable me to hang onto them as long as possible. Reading between the lines I also understood that I am not alone in having had issues with Mr nastybrusquedentistman, so I felt a little vindicated.

All that and I went on my own, which might sound amusing to most of you but it's only the second time in my life, at my ripe old age, that I have actually made it to a dental appointment alone! She spent almost an hour working in my mouth and not once did I have to ask for a break! I know that it maybe doesn't seem a 'big deal' to many, I know I shouldn't be so frightened but phobia, by it's very nature is irrational and I am quite proud of myself!

Now, the warning; Periodontal disease is caused by a few things, firstly it is something some of us just have a predisposition too, secondly stress is thought to be indicated as a cause but thirdly and most importantly, smoking causes it to advance much quicker than it would naturally, so if like me you thought the fags wouldn't get you, don't count on it....one way or another they might! There you have it, my own bloody fault in part at least, albeit when I began smoking no-one knew any of this. And just in case you are still in any doubt about just how much of a hassle this is, it hurts, eating is an issue, invariably at any given time I have parts of my mouth that are too painful to use or infections in my gum and cleaning my teeth has gone from the normal five minute job, to something much more protracted, in an effort to at least slow down the advance....no amount of money or dental work is going to fix it or cure it.

So, that's my next big issue...but please, no nagging, I don't respond to pressure but I'm onto it and getting to a place where perhaps I can take my next step forward.

To Twitter or not to Twitter!

Today I thought I would post my own few words in defence of the latest in a long line of that which is the latest of the virtual-social-networking-phenomenon, 'Twitter'.

If you don't Twitter this will probably sound like double dutch to you, but if you do, chances are you do it for little more than a bit of fun and to make a few virtual friends....and that is my point, what is the issue with that?

There will always be high brow intellectuals standing on the sidelines ready to denigrate anything but that alone is not a reason to assume something is completely worthless!

Twitter, if you have never got to it yet is simple, you choose to 'follow' other individuals and are 'followed' yourself, by whoever chooses to do so, from there on in you get 140 characters to say what you are doing at that moment.

All sound a bit inane? Well you would be right, it is, it is just truncated conversation but as Charlie Brooker of The Guardian says in his column today it is "strangely compelling".

We Twitterers are a diverse bunch and include everyone from the Jane Doe's such as myself to the rich and famous such as Stephen Fry, Jonathan Ross and The Dalai Lama....and for me that is where the interest is, 'meeting' people, I otherwise wouldn't ever get to meet. I don't necessarily mean the celebs among the twittering fraternity, though some are very interesting, but the normal people, going about their normal lives, who quite quickly become friends.

This may all sound suspiciously like a 'chat room' and once you have a group of friends set up, it does have a tendency to veer from purely tweeting 'what I am doing' to more 'conversation' but thus far it differs greatly from the old chat rooms (and believe me I am a self confessed ex-veteran of IRC, I know what they could be like)in that those that Twitter seem mostly to be professional articulate individuals (ok, that's me out), as opposed to odd-bods up to no good! Sadly I suspect as time goes by the odd-bods will find a way in, as the spammers are already beginning too, but that unfortunately is a part of life that we have to deal with in all areas. Twitter does differ greastly though in that you can choose for only those you wish to, to see your 'Tweets', it's not necessarily open to all-comers.

The old argument which has always been levelled against all forms of virtual social networking (and I'm not a fan of all, Facebook for instance I really quite dislike but that's another story) is of course that these aren't 'real' people but I beg to differ. I may not be able to look them in the face or hear their voice but at the end of a line of text there is of course another human being sat at a keyboard, just as I am and I believe, certainly as adults, it's not terribly difficult to tell quite quickly if someone is being less than genuine. Add to that, given that both my partner and my best friend are people I first met virtually through blogging, it would be hard for me to have faith in the 'these are not real people' train of thought.

No, social networking is not going out and meeting people face to face it's true, in the main I will never actually get to meet most of these people but as long as we keep a perspective and balance why should that be a bad thing as opposed to just a 'different' way of interacting and why is it that the intellectuals appear to assume that anything that is 'just fun' is to be criticised? Almost everything has a negative side if we look for it, football for instance, something which in this country is almost a 'religion' for many, but is in fact ostensibly just a game, costs the NHS a fortune in cruciate ligament surgery and has a tendency to attract violence here and there but there is no doubting it also makes many people lives much more pleasurable!

Yes, like many things I'm sure Twitter can be distracting and perhaps a little addictive but that's not a new phenomenon, it's the case with many things, good and bad, but one thing it certainly is for those of us that enjoy it is fun, entertaining, quite often informative and sociable and in my humble opinion that isn't a bad thing.

Like the inimitable Stephen Fry, he who has over 100,000 followers and 'tweets' hilariously is quoted as saying, "some people just don't get it"...and that's fine, we are all interested/entertained by different things but what aggravates me is why those that don't 'get it' feel they have to criticise it almost on principle! I could go into all kinds of psychological theories and principles on that aspect but I won't bore you any longer! If you don't 'get it', that's cool but don't critisise us who do, purely because we do!


....and incidentally, if you are interested my Twitter I.D is 'gemmak500'. All comers welcome :o)

Mammography for the size challenged!

I was reading an article somewhere a day or two back about one woman's difficulties in having her routine mammogram performed and it reminded me of a painful but hilarious experience of my own some years ago!

I have to begin here by explaining that I am somewhat 'challenged' in the breast department. I have run the gamut of 'fried egg' and 'pimple' jokes ever since the days in my adolescence when I kept waiting hopefully for my chest to expand to the impressive proportions of my contemporaries, but as the result of my being a gymnast it became patently obvious I would be waiting forever!

So, at age about thirty and being in a high risk group for a particular type of breast cancer - which seems somewhat unfair considering their lack of proportion - when I developed a lump the NHS swung into diagnostic action and off I was sent for a mammogram poste haste.

Now for those of you who are not familiar with this carry on, one is required to stand in front of a rather large (well it was in those days, they might have changed by now) machine, naked from the waist up, with the arm on the affected side raised above the head and the offending breast placed on a kind of 'plate', above which is the working part that takes the pictures. This I promise you is not an easy position to adopt in my case for the following reasons.

Firstly I was too bloody short - no surprise there then - and having adopted the prescribed position of torture it transpired that the distance between the ground and my breast was insufficient for me to actually get my breast where they needed it! I was shuffled and moved and poked by a very kind radiographer but to no avail, I was just not tall enough and in the end, with much apology, she asked me if I would be offended if she asked me to stand on a box! Hell no, I have been standing on boxes all my life, so off she went to find a box and came back with something plastic and officey looking and on it I got. Success, I was tall enough! Or so we thought.

But it was not to end there. The 'plate' on which I then had to 'display' my breast had markers on it, they are to assist the radiographer in lining up the camera so that suitable images can be obtained but my breast didn't even make it to the first marker and no amount of her maneuvering me would persuade it up to the starting line.

At this point the radiographer became a little embarrassed, she now had the probably usually unenviable task of telling her patient that her breast was effectively so small it was presenting a real logistical problem, but despite my stressed situation of facing the possibility that I had cancer, I couldn't help but find the whole issue hilarious.... and to her relief I began to fall about with laughter at what was rapidly turning into something akin to a slap-stick scene from a carry on film!

The ice was broken, I explained that I had no issue with being small chested and she had no need to spare my feelings or pussy-foot around me so off she went again and returned with a colleague who was apparently more practiced in this malarkey and who without compunction stood me on a book (it was a medical book so that was acceptable I assumed) ontop of the box, jammed the back of the plate to somewhere that felt it had entered my chest cavity and then manhandled my by now somewhat sore breast, with a severe degree of someone who knows that the job has to be done at any cost, into a position that she thought might do the trick. She warned me that this was going to be 'a little more painful than usual' ( I didn't know what usual was but hey)and then squished my offending body part, rapidly and without mercy between the plates and hit the 'go' button!

She wasn't wrong, it hurt like the very devil! I don't think it is ever comfortable but by her own admission she had to 'squish harder' than the norm to keep my bits in place and obtain her images. I have never had it done since and I don't relish having it done in the future, it was truly horrible but it was as funny as hell and the three of us finally finished up giggling like girls and with the required pictures successfully obtained.

I promise you, if you are breast tissue challenged this is something of an experience and not one for the faint-hearted, or at least it was in those days. Hopefully by now the procedures and equipment have evolved to include those of us who don't make it to page three status but as I near the age where this stuff becomes routine for me because of my risk levels I can't say I relish the thought, despite the amusement factor!

Dodgy dentistry!

Yesterday was something of a harassing day one way and another and left me questioning what on earth has happened to professional integrity and customer service. What seems to be apparent is that they just don't figure any longer with any degree of importance in the worlds of corporate and economic gain!

I've split this into two posts, this and the one below.

After much research I eventually found a dentist yesterday that is taking on new NHS patients, so despite my fears I called them having been told by my doctor that I have to get the abscess situation sorted out properly. The conversation that ensued I find pretty concerning!

I was informed by the receptionist that before I can be considered for acceptance onto the dentists list I have to have a dental x-ray performed! Yes, I said 'before'. I queried why this was and the reply was somewhat vague and confusing I have to say. She seemed (I say seemed because she was so vague it was hard to decipher any real meaning in the conversation) to be suggesting that if the x-ray indicates I need much work I won't be accepted! Now forgive me here if you are a dentist reading this but it smacks yet again to me of dentistry in this country no longer being about care or integrity but being about making the buck! I know we all have to make a living and I appreciate many of the issues dentists have had over recent years with the government but at some point I wonder if they could stop in-fighting and consider us, the patient stuck in the middle!

But I digress. I questioned the receptionist further as to what I could do should I be denied treatment and was told I could visit the local emergency dental access service. I told her I had tried that but they could only deal with the initial presenting problem, i.e. prescribe more antibiotics in this case and along with my doctor had said I must have the underlying dental issue treated properly by a dentist!

Her response was that "I would be ok with more tablets"! I pointed out again that was contrary to all other information I had been given and that even those of us not medically qualified are now only too well aware of the problems of resistance in the over prescribing of antibiotics. I was met with silence...which I suggest says it all!

So, let me get this straight. The dental and medical professions say I have to have this dental problem dealt with by a dentist properly. The doctor says I can't have more antibiotics I have to see a dentist. The one dentist I can find wants to take the very odd step of x-raying before they accept me with a view to not accepting me if I need much treatment and has referred me to the emergency access center..... and the emergency centre tells me I have to see a dentist!

Where does that leave me....up the bloody dental creek without a paddle is where it leaves me and still with an underlying problem that isn't going to just fix itself! The doctor won't (and rightly) just keep prescribing willy-nilly, the access centre can't help and the dental profession is yet again sitting in it's ivory tower while our teeth rot and we suffer the pain.

I am so f*cking angry and fed up with all this.! I've had this hassle with dental treatment now for over six years on and off and it is part (though to be fair not all) of the reason I am now likely to lose my teeth before time. Come on guys, we are a nation who were lucky enough to have the education and facilities to have healthy teeth, this is not a third world country and it would be kinda cool if you could all start showing some integrity and stop trying to turn it into one dentally!

I've had enough now of the excuses and of understanding how hard done by our dental professionals are, we all have to live within the constraints our laws and governments decisions inflict on us but we don't all have the power to inflict continuing pain and discomfort on the poor sods caught in the middle! Where's the pride, integrity or professionalism in that?

If dentists still have an issue with their 'terms and conditions' take it up with those who impose those terms by all means but stop using the likes of me as a bargaining chip because it's unfair, inappropriate and does absolutely nothing to help the cause...which I have to say, when all this began years ago I supported.

I don't any longer.

Just sort it out and start behaving with at least some degree of care and integrity please!

Oh...was that naive of me? Sorry.

Bright, shiny and new!

Finally, after five years in the dental wilderness I can see a light at the end of the tunnel! It's nearly all over and in a weeks time I can heave a big sigh of relief that for a while at least I don't have to psych myself up on a fortnightly basis to lie prostrate and terrified sit in the dreaded black chair.

This afternoon was my penultimate appointment (hurrahhhh), this one was to have the temporary crown removed and the real one fitted. The job was duly done, and I might add with minimal anaesthesia, despite having a problem with a touchy nerve in the tooth in question, believe me, I would rather suffer the 'ouch factor' than have one of the '10 seconds in the roof of the mouth' jabs that it would have usually entailed! They hurt like hell, even the dentist himself is only to happy to admit they are no fun at all.

And that was that, 20 minutes later I was sporting a bright shiny new tooth where for at least the last ten years there has been some shambles of temporary repairs.


It didn't come cheap, the NHS will only pay for a gold one (ugh) which at £200 is
hardly a bargain but I needed wanted a white one which comes in at £300. Luckily for me someone very kindly helped me out with the extra bit that I couldn't afford (thank you, you know who you are) and so now I don't have to feel like a character from a James Bond movie each time I smile! :o))

I'm actually quite proud of myself, I have a real serious problem with the dentist and it's taken me years to get this done but at last I did it and although the problems with my teeth are ongoing at least I've got over one big hurdle with them.

I knew I hated the dentist!

And today has only confirmed it!

Today, motivated by pain as opposed to bravery, I was forced to into the dreaded dentists chair for a check up. Last time I was in this position, the one where your head is nearing the floor, your feet are somewhere you have lost track of and your head is seemingly held fast by some invisible brace, it was for an extraction. That had not helped my feeling of anxiety for future visits though in defence of the dentist on that occasion, he was fabulously understanding and gentle.

Today's sadistic b*astard 'minister of oral care' it would seem, is very much opposed to we evil smokers and appeared to do his level best to cause me pain and scare the living daylights out of me!

Now, I accept that smoking is a major contritutary factor to my current dental problems, though even the dental fraternity were unaware of the impact of smoking on peridontal desease until approx. 15 years ago.

As a lay man I think I can be excused for not knowing this information until recently, particularly given that I was unable to be seen by a dentist at all, courtesy of the lack of NHS practitioners, for about half of that 15 year period! I fail therefor to see how poking things into my gums until I shrieked or telling me horrendously frightening stories was designed to help someone like myself' who already has problems with anxiety just trying to make it into the chair. Perhaps I should have encouraged him to scan my notes briefly before he set about scaring me so witless with only the result that I am much more likely never to darken a dentists door again.

The last guy helped me begin to feel I could deal with dentistry, this guy has firmly set me back but it seems I cannot have 'Mr nice dentist' complete the work that 'Mr scary dentist' has begun.

So the upshot of all of this is that smoking has caused my gums to recede badly, hence my otherwise (mostly) healthy teeth keep working loose and having to be removed. The prognosis is not encouraging, I think it unlikely I will see old age with my own teeth unless, and this is the million dollar question, I can quit smoking. Even if I do the damage is not reversible but it will at least not get signifigantly worse with a little luck.

I need two big fillings and one, maybe two extracted and not only am I miffed yet again with myself for ever starting smoking but I am also wondering just how I am going to pluck up the wearwithall to get my body back into the chair so it can be done.

This is not good, I am not a happy bunny right now...I knew I hated the dentist, as a profession I hasten to add, not the individuals, save for today's terrorist.

I wonder.....just what did he think he would achieve by treating me as he did when on the top of my notes in big red letters it states 'severe dental anxiety'??!!!

Seems somewhat counter-productive to me.

It's a conspiracy

Yesterday was the dreaded day for my first round of dental pummelling. You may or may not (probably not) remember my posting on my recent visit for a check up, the first in five years courtesy of Scotland's lack of dentists prepared to work on the NHS.

On that occasion I was cheerfully informed I needed a crown but I would be contacted further if anything more showed up in the X-rays. Something more did show up...apparently two small fillings, today I was to have the first of these.

Now, my phobia of dentists has also not gone unmentioned here. Well, it's not so much the dentist. him or herself presents no problem but the procedures they carry out do....a big problem, the biggest of which is extraction! But, having met 'Mr Very Nice Dentist' at my check up and having been assured he understood my fears and that I was to have a filling, I set off this morning only half scared to death.

Upon my arrival, with the benefit of hindsight, the receptionists greeting of me was marginally strange, she appeared slightly uncomfortable but in my state of nervousness I barely registered her existence let alone her manner, and so in I went when I was called, full of bravery......only to be informed by 'Mr Very Nice Dentist' that the tooth I thought was to be filled actually required extraction!!!! Yes, he could possibly repair it with two or three hours work but it would only last a year or two and alternatively it could be wrenched from my mouth brutally removed painlessly, in a matter of seconds.

At this point my flight or fight response kicked in big time, my body suddenly knew it was harboring way too much adrenaline and in that horrible state of trying to hide near panic, I tried to listen coherently to 'Mr Very Nice Dentists' advice.

There was it seemed nothing really to decide. My five year lack of dental care (Thank you Scotland's NHS, I love you too) had resulted in a pretty crap tooth and out it had to come and so hanging onto the nurses hand for dear life, trying to somehow not behave like a small frightened child, I gritted my teeth (pun intended) and we went for it. Four large injections later (yup, it wouldn't 'numb up' with the usual two, oh joy) and a swift and practiced wrench and the offending tooth was history, amazingly I am still here to tell the tale!!!...... Though I did require to be left prone for ten minutes before I could maintain an upright position without assistance, my legs didn't really know what they were doing for a while, my hands shook uncontrollably and I was damn glad I had my dad with me to drive home!

So why the 'conspiracy' title...because the dentist knew all along, as did his nurse and receptionist that the tooth was to go but he also knew that if he had told me in the original phone call what was to be done, I would have never shown up!

This guy certainly has me sussed and he was of course right. At the very least I would have had a fair few sleepless nights prior to the dreaded appointment and indeed would probably have cancelled...as it is, it's all done and dusted and whilst I might feel like I've been punched in the face right now by someone with significant upper body strength, it's a good job done with a minimum of cowardice and hoo ha!

The guy is a bastard star! :o)

Anyone got a straw?

Open wide!

So yesterday was the day of the dreaded dental visit, for whilst I have been unable to secure for myself a place with a dentist for the last seven years....I didn't actually have a great wish to visit one, just a need to. The fact that I couldn't did have a positive side in that I wasn't forced to look the demon drill in the eye and handle the gut wrenching fear it instills in me!

But yesterday was the end of the line and with a broken tooth to attend to and my father as moral support off I went looking considerably more cheerful than I felt about the whole process.

Dentistry requires way more trust in an individual I have never met than I would usually consider it wise to show but my ignorance of the subject requires, like most of us, that I offer myself up like a lamb to the slaughter, close my eyes and hope for the best whilst trying not to notice my sweating palms, banging head and impending panic attack.

And thus it was, almost upside down and braced for the worst the guy could hit me with that amazingly I survived....yup, I am still alive and more amazing even than that is the fact that this torturous appointment was in fact not torturous at all! More specifically it was a walk in the park, it didn't hurt one iota, he didn't pull my mouth in that way that feels like one is competing in an international gurning contest and there was none of the prodding with heinous tools of torture in the darkest recesses of my mouth!

The guy was a star, completely understood my fear and worked with me on it, the whole incident was over in a few minutes and my confidence that I can cope with the next stage is boosted.....for there is a next stage to be faced. One crown and one filling, not bad after seven years of no treatment but whilst I can't say I am exactly looking forward to it I will perhaps sleep the night before the next time.

All that remains is to raise the £300 for the bill. Of course whilst I am in receipt of benefits I could claim reimbursement for treatment but not for the most appropriate treatment of my problem. That of course is not covered, so as ever seems to be the way if I want the job doing properly I'm gonna have to pay up and look happy.....hey, it will be worth it, the treatment offered on the NHS is liable not to last too long and £300 to only have to do this the once seems a bargain.

However less of a trauma it was than I imagined, a visit to the dentist will remain in my top ten list of things I wouldn't choose to do for fun but it was considerably more bearable than my little mind envisaged! :o)

I don't believe it!!!

Finally after over five years of searching I have found a dentist!!!!!.

Quite why I should be so happy about that I'm unsure given that the whole dentistry 'thing' scares the wits out of me but having been dentist-less for so long common sense (yes there is a modicum in there somewhere)dictates that my tracking down someone prepared to take me onto an NHS list is reason almost to crack open a bottle of something expensive.

This breakthrough has of course been prompted by a small dental disaster...that of a large part of a particularly rumbunctious tooth having decided to drop off over the weekend, sending me into a small state of panic in realisation that I would again have to take up the challenge presented by our government and dentists over the last few years.

So take up the challenge I did and whether I was just lucky or whether the South of England merely has more user friendly dentists than Scotland did I don't know, but suffice to say on the 2nd August, at last, a dentist will peer into my mouth...ok, so it hardly constitutes an emergency appointment but I can live with half a tooth for a few weeks and I'm not sure I want to know the 'what I need doing' bit anyways quite yet!

Bring on the Vallium!

Let's hear it for the NHS

We hear all too often criticism of our NHS system and yet thus far I have only ever received an excellent level of care at the point of service....and believe me I am no stranger to hospitals.

Little ever seems to be mentioned about the doctors, nurses, auxiliary staff, technicians, caterers and administration workers who all, in my experience, carry out their duties in a highly professional and caring manner. Yes, there are shortfalls in the system certainly but for the main part they are not the fault or responsibility of those who staff our hospitals, or at least not those that we as the service user come into contact with and who are the guys on the front line suffering the day to day pressures and abuse.

It apalls me that each time I enter a hospital these days there appears to be a necessity for 'zero tolerance' notices regarding physical and verbal abuse against staff dotted around the walls of the various departments! Ok, if an individual has a problem or a complaint about the system fine, if it is valid take it up with those who hold the purse strings and make the decisions but why behave like a fuckwit and abuse the very people who are attempting to deliver the service with care and as much efficiency as they can muster....... Utterly amazing behaviour!

So why this outburst? Today, again, PG had an appointment at our local hospital. The term 'local' is subjective here, for it is 35 miles away but no matter, it is a pleasant journey and the sun was shining. This visit was to assess the knee he attempted to destroy the week we went on holiday to my parents. We arrived with half an hour to spare, bought a coffee from the ladies who work volountarily for the WRVS and made our way to orthopedic department. There is a new system in place here for more minor injuries, similar to triage and it worked wonderfully. We were ushered into a consulting room, on time I might add, for our appointment with a highly qualified physiotherapist who was to asses the knee for suitable further treatment. She did just that, politely, efficiently and with a high degree of professionalism. She took time to explain fully what she was doing and the procedure she was going to recommend. She even had at her disposal, 'working part' models of the relevant parts of the anatomy to assist those of us who are not anatomically trained, in understanding.

The whole idea and the manner in which it was carried out was excellent. Why use the resources to employ a consultant surgeon to assess a none life threatening condition, when there is another professional more than capable of doing the job?. In the 'old' system one saw the consultant for the diagnosis, then again to discuss the procedure and again on the day of surgery. The new system employed in this hospital weeds out those with injuries not requiring a surgeons skills and thereby free him or her up to reduce waiting times for those that do.

In PG's case unfortunately he does require surgery but he has been assessed within five weeks of his GP's referral and because of this 'triage' system his wait will be drastically reduced. The procedure will probably be carried out within months, at the outside a year....... not bad in my opinion, for something he can live with and is certainly not threatening his life.

So...let's hear it for the NHS eh? Less critisism for a service that in the main is excellent and whilst it is not free, I for one would not like to have had to pay the true cost of the treatments I have recieved over the years!

The annual prescription debate

Again in April of this year UK prescription charges are set to rise by the princely sum of 10p, without doubt this will again cause the annual round of complaints from those who consider the rise either too steep, the overall cost too high or that pharmaceuticals should be a free for all situation.

This has long been a bug-bear of mine and a situation who's opponents arguments have always left me somewhat confused. Yes, I agree that this is yet another area where the same section of the population seem to be the ones bearing the brunt of the cost. Those of us who work for a living and struggle to keep our heads above the financial waterline without resorting to claiming benefits of one kind or another, seem always to have to pay up and look happy in this life. The majority of those receiving benefits are entirely entitled to them of course but there is a section of that number who play the system, take little or no responsibility for their own lives and live off the backs of the rest of us.

Why should all prescriptions be free? We pay national insurance contributions certainly but that does not mean that everything should be given to us completely gratis. The NHS struggles as we know only too well, we might have feelings as to how and why that is but in the main it is a matter of underfunding. A large section of the population already receive all drugs free, children, pregnant women, those on benefits or low pay, the elderly and individuals with life threatening illness who rely on their drugs to survive. I appreciate that the list of 'life threatening' conditions could perhaps be revised, I am one of those affected by that particular question but none of the arguments address what I see as the two most fundamental aspects of this situation.

Firstly the NHS does no have a bottomless pit of money whether we like it or not, with modern medical practices and technology becoming so advanced the cost of treatment has risen phenomenally and we all want access to those treatments, somehow the money has to be raised. If we financed the NHS sufficiently to give everyone absolutely everything something else would suffer, in the real world the money has to be sourced somewhere. Secondly, are those who moan so vocally about paying £6.50 per item aware of the true cost of those drugs in most instances? Our doctors and pharmacists have become much improved at prescribing or recommending generic or cheaper alternatives but for in the vast majority of cases the prescription charge is only a fraction of the true cost.

I do not speak without some experience of this situation. I require every month at least four items, one of which could arguably be considered suitable for the list of life saving drugs that should maybe be exempt from charge. My monthly bill for these items is £26 and that assumes I don't need anything extra such as antibiotics for a one off illness. The £26 is not a cost to be sniffed at perhaps but if I were asked to pay the true cost of these items my bill would be over £200 every month! I for one know which option I prefer.

Whilst some may think the NHS charge is too high, if my having to pay what amounts to a small percentage of the true cost helps enable someone else to have for instance life saving surgery, or a child to have the drugs it needs and genuinely can't afford then I'm happy to pay.

We in the UK are luckier than many, we have access to what in the main are excellent medical facilities and yet we do nothing but complain, try telling a family in the third world how hard done by we are! The NHS system does have many inherent problems but would we want the alternative? This is reality and ultimately nothing is free. Go take a look at private medical insurance costs, check out the exclusion clauses or the shortfalls in that system and then tell me that the NHS is a complete failure!

Dentistry again.....or lack of

Many months ago, in June of 2004 I posted on a situation that I found very frustrating. The inability in the UK over the last few years get a dentist. You can read the original post HERE.

Nothing has changed, months later I still can't get dental treatment and the situation still frustrates me.

The reason I bring it up again is that today, all these months later that post received a comment from a dentist. I am hoping that he or she does not object to my publishing that comment as a post given that the original was already in the public domain when the comment was made.

My intention is not to turn this into a slanging match, rather to re-open a discussion I feel strongly about now I have the opinion of an individual from within the dental profession.

What do you think?

This is the text of that comment:

Anonymous said...
I will attempt to set some things straight because I believe the government has misled the public with lies about "greedy dentists" for decades now. The only reason dentists are abandoning the NHS is that the fees they are paid are downright ridiculous for the highly skilled job they are supposed to do.

Let me give you an example of exactly how much the government values your health:
A filling on a child is less than a donner kebab.
An extraction is less than a music CD.
A root canal treatment on a front tooth, on which outcome the future of your tooth depends, is less than a playstation game.

So dentists were forced to see a huge number of patients each day (sometimes 30-40, that's the largest in the western world) and use only the cheaper materials. Ask any dentist in the US or the better parts of Europe and they will tell you about the appallingly low quality of NHS dentistry.

Many of us decided that they're not going to play the government's game anymore and stopped compromising our patient's health just because the government is used to buying dentistry on the cheap. Who can blame those who took that step?

As a last point, I'm a dentist and proud to be member of the profession with the highest suicide rate (so life isn't exactly rosy for us, as people tend to think), and I currently work in the NHS, but I will leave on the first chance I get. A few weeks ago the government announced that the new computer network for the NHS will cost 20-30 billion pounds. That's enough to pay for 30 years of dentistry at the current level, or 10 years of dentistry at a high quality level. But they're going to spend it on computers. Politicians have got their priorities seriously wrong.

And this is my reply:

Anonymous: Firstly thank you for taking the time to comment, it's good to get the opinion of the 'other side'.

Ok, now onto the points you raised.

I can accept without too much difficulty that the government has attempted to mislead us, the general public' with regard to the dental profession's greed, it would not be the first time and I am sure it will not be the last but were many of you not trained as I stated in my original post, at a time when most of the current situation was already in place and was the training not at the expense of this country? I know there are many dentists in the UK from overseas but presumably though not trained here there was something in our system that attracted them to practice here?

I doubt there are many employees of our NHS system who are happy with their lot, I myself worked within the system for a short time and found the entire experience very negative but the one big difference between dentists and the other employees from where I am sitting, is that the others carry on their duty of care regardless. Yes many doctors practice privately along with carrying out NHS work and yes I can jump a queue for surgery with cash but ultimately if I cannot afford that surgery, I will get it in time via the NHS. That is very much not so where my teeth are concerned!!

I appreciate that your profession is highly skilled and should be appropriately remunerated but it is a fact of life that most of us are not in reality salaried as we feel our work deserves. Dentists are not alone in that. We mere mortals just don't have the power to hold the government, or those we serve in our occupation to ransom!

Believe me I would like to have more respect for the dental profession but the bottom line for me is that I had a set of teeth that had been well looked after all my life and are now not as they should be. I am completely unable to get a dentist via the NHS and in fact where I live have been unable thus far to get one even privately......though how I would pay him or her if I could remains a mystery.

I do not apologise for my belief that dentists were in my mind akin to doctors, nurses, medical professionals of other specialities, the police, paramedics and the fire brigade. These are ALL highly skilled individuals who choose to go into a profession of caring. They differ from dentists in so much as despite their sometimes appalling conditions of service and salary they continue to care for those that require their skill. Their frustrations with the system within which they are employed do not affect the service user to anything like the magnitude that the dental professions behaviour has!

I cannot dispute the suicide rate, I have no evidential statistics to support or deny your claim but I do know various professions claim to hold the 'highest rate' accolade. I'm not sure what causes the pressure in dentistry, I am assuming workload. Sorry, but have any of you tried struggling with the day to day stressors and a heavy workload with your teeth causing you pain for years??

Bottom line: I can't see a dentist because dentistry is unavailable to me, both actually and financially and I don't understand how a caring profession can justify hurting the very people they claim to care for in pursuit of economic gain. One thing is for sure, those in government who your battle is with are not suffering, it is us, your patients that are doing that.

I am not going to argue the point that you as a profession are not 'well off' for that is relative. I only know that I don't see too many dentists living in the poor part of town or with holes in their shoes.

The situation continues to anger me. Strangely I am scared of dental treatment and it took me many years to become comfortable (ish) with it, now on top of rotting teeth I have to overcome that fear again should I be fortunate enough to ever receive the attentions of a dentist.

Addendum: Anonymous, I wonder.......before you leave the NHS, you wouldn't by chance have room on your books for one more would you?

The human spirit

Yesterday was a long day.

PG finished work at 2.30 and we made our way the 80 miles South to visit his father in hospital.

It was surreal day. We where of course prepared for the sight that is ITU, the myriad tubes, pipes and numerous items of high tech equipment that currently support his father but I somehow hadn't expected to be unable to quite equate this man, completely at the mercy of machines, with the man I know. In some ways we were relieved, he was comfortable and appeared peaceful. I had expected agitation as is often the case but there was none. He had a good colour and despite all the technology surrounding him the unit was bright airy and new and an atmosphere of calm was very evident.

His condition is slightly improved thankfully, though not in any way perceptible to anyone other than a professional. His sats and blood pressure have improved and remained stable, his heart rate is nearing normal and he has short periods now of consciousness and appeared to recognise us. There is of course a very long way to go and we are not complacent but for now things are looking very slightly better.

We in the U.K are used to hearing nothing but dire predictions and horror stories of the NHS. Good news is not news as they say but I have to beg to differ where my own experience is concerned. I and those close to me have had need of the service on maybe more than our fair share of occasions over the years and have, without exception, had excellent and prompt attention. That of course does not detract from the importance of the incidents where the system fails but I am constantly struck by the fact that those working within the service are dedicated, professional hard working and highly skilled individuals but who are ultimately like you or I....human beings and fallible. I don't envy them their job. I for one would not like to be in the position of making life and death decisions on a day to day basis with the inherently attached impact that has on others. PG's father is receiving care of very high calibre, at a staffing ratio of 2:1 and with equipment available to him that beggars belief. All this at a moments notice and at the point of delivery, free.

Standing at his bedside trying to think of things to say, unsure if he is hearing I felt humbled by the human spirit and it's contradictions. One one hand life seemed so fragile, in a moment changed forever, circumstances in an instant rendering an individual completely helpless and dependent entirely on technology and the help of others. On on the other hand fighting still, despite the odds, strangely strong in the face of such adversity.

Against massive physiological trauma the human body and spirit still fights for life with all it's got!

A change in routine!

My normal routine, that's the one where I sit fiddling with one thing or another on here for most of the day, has been disrupted of late and today I barely made it here at all until now!! :o/

This change in habit it in most part due to attending my poorly neighbour, who from now on I will refer to as 'E'. She was sent home on Sunday night in a taxi, something I was unaware of until she arrived, which duly cost her nearly £50. I'm not sure who I think should be paying for that in these days of a cash strapped NHS but it seems a bit harsh for her, as a pensioner to have to, anyway, I digress. Bart was beside himself with excitement on her return and has been glued to her side ever since, only allowing himself to be taken on short walks for fear that she may not be again when he returns.

'E' for her part is marginally better. There seems to be some confusion about her diagnosis, the G.P. still insists she has acute angina, the hospital disagree but can't say what they think is wrong with her heart. She is none the less 'up and about' but can't as yet leave the flat for more than a few minutes.............that's where I come in!

The last two days have been a round of helping with her household chores, getting her shopping done and Bart walking. I'm no longer used to having to do things to a specific time on the days I'm not at work (ah....this idyllic country lifestyle) and have resorted to setting my mobile alarm to sound every 2 hours for worry that I might miss a walk!! This morning on the early walk call 'E' said she had a fancy for a bread making machine, a badly concealed hint that I might like to make the 40 mile trip to 'Argos' to fetch her one....... which of course I duly did. This evening I am 'invited' to teach her how to use it before I take Bart out for his last hike of the day!!!! Damnation...........for once there was something I wanted to watch on T.V. Yes, I know I have a VCR, I just know that for some inexplicable reason I won't ever get to watch it if I record it. I don't know why that it, I just know it's always the case.

One her return on Sunday I told her in no uncertain terms that if she wants me to take responsibility for Bart etc. in any future emergency then I need to be slightly better organised and be furnished with one or two contact numbers. Lol...... she fully understood, gave me a list of numbers for her relatives in Germany and unbeknownst to me did the reverse...........I now seem to be trying to field various emails..........all in German!!! aarrgghhhhhhh. Anyone know a good piece of translation s/w! lol

On an entirely different subject, while I was 'blog surfing' last night I found this photograph on 'Mutual Misunderstanding'........... brilliant!

This sticks in my craw

I apologise if you are a dentist and reading this.....well actually,no I don't!

Dentists and the dental profession are currently on the top of my rant list and have been for the last few years.

We were all bought up to take care of our teeth, told time and time again that they are precious and to lose them would be terrible, had fluoride put in our water systems and marched fearfully every six months to the local dentist for a check up and any appropriate treatment.

What was that all for then when years later we discover that the dental profession is so damn greedy that thousand upon thousand of us now don't have access to a dentist at all!

I for one have been unable, despite many attempts, to see a dentist for nearly 3 years. The only option now open to me is to wait until a dental problem becomes severe and attend the accident and emergency department of my local hospital. So much for preventative measures and all the crap trotted out by this profession regarding early treatment and diagnosis! On one such visit I was 'patched up' by a very nice guy who then told me, with a wry smile, that I needed to get a dentist and get the problem treated thoroughly, he added almost as an afterthought that I would be unable too and that he would expect to see me again!!

There has also recently been much advertising by the British Dental Association regarding awareness of oral cancers and the need to have a dental check up regularly because as ever with the big C, early detection is integral to a successful outcome .......fat chance!

Do these 'professionals' not have a duty of care similar to that of a doctor, were many of them not educated in our schools and universities? Where then is their sense of fair play. It would appear that many of them don't see dentistry as anything more than a means to make a buck. Those currently practicing chose to go into the field when the NHS system was intact and so presumably understood how poorly paid (not) etc. they were going to be, before they even commenced their education, so why the sudden about turn? Economic self gratification is my guess!

So I have no great political understanding, I'm not completely aware of all the arguments I'm sure dentists present, I'm just a ordinary 'Jane Doe' and maybe you lot have a point, though I'm damned if I can see it. What I have yet to see is a poor dentist living in the rough part of town unable to feed his or her family!

Project this situation ten or twenty years and maybe I can see where you are all coming from. We will have a nation of individuals with horrendous dental problems and you will, if you haven't already done so by operating solely in the private sector, make your fortunes repairing all the damage caused by the current situation. You can't lose!!!

I don't want to hear you blame the government, the NHS or anyone else for that matter. We all live within those constraints one way or another. This is no longer for me about whether or not I can afford private treatment (which incidentally I can't) it is about not wanting to line the pocket of a profession that it appears to be without morals or integrity!!

I hope you can all sleep in your [water] beds at night!