The crap car, the date and an interview!

Tired, late night, this will be short and to the point;

The car pulled in an MOT fail but thankfully not too bad a fail. The bits that required fixing to limp it through a retest have been done and later today I should secure the much needed pass certificate.

The date was unusually successful, a good time was had, more if progress is made, let's face it, we have been this far before!

....and suddenly I have an interview today, more on that if it works out. This time I think I am maybe in with more chance but the situation is pretty amusing, again, more another time!

Car karma?

At eight o'clock this morning the crap car is due to undergo it's annual and very scary MOT test. The test itself of course is not scary but the outcome very well might be...very scary indeed.

Add to that I have a much looked forward to date tonight, which requires I drive an approximate one hundred mile round trip.....you see my immediate dilemma should the stamp on the oh so important piece of paper carry the heinous 'FAIL' word!

I am on pins waiting and hoping that this is where my luck chooses to change!

Any good car karma is more than welcome to be sent my way ;)

Heading off

Well, the crap car appears not to be showing any further signs of spontaneously combusting so I'm going to take the risk and head off on my small holiday-ette at lunch time today!

It's going to be a slow journey, I daren't hit the gas in any kind of very positive manner and it's Friday on the M1 but I can't wait, a week of nothing, fabulous!

I am however not that confident, I have my RAC membership card firmly in my grasp and my laptop will not be in the boot, rather on the seat next to me so that in the event of something 'interesting' occurring I can beat a hasty retreat with it in my hand!

Hell fire (pun intended), if the whole issue goes up in smoke, let it burn, I can live without the rest but just don't take my laptop too! ;)

I'll catch you at the other end, it may be a little more quiet here than usual while I'm away but doubtless I'll pop in and out....

Fire and brimstone - another 'crap car' episode!

So...last night, in the wee small hours I drove home, bleary eyed as one does, parked up outside the house and suddenly became aware that the crap car was producing clouds of smoke and a particularly acrid burning smell!

This was not a good thing at such an hour and in the pouring rain I assure you. I knew it wasn't the brakes burning yet again, I am way too familiar with that particularly noxious 'scent', It wasn't electrical, I know that one too...but I just couldn't find from where it was coming and finally admitted defeat, having turned myself upside down on the wet road still to no avail.

Having given up I went indoors and went to bed. I didn't sleep of course, conscious, as the ex-wife of a fireman, that it's in no way unusual for faulty cars to suddenly ignite. Instead I spend the majority of what remained of the night keep poking my face out of the curtains to make sure I wasn't about to be responsible for something of a disturbance in the street.

This morning, miffed and concerned I checked all the fluid levels...poked around under the bonnet (hood for you lovely people in the U.S.), turned myself upside down underneath it again hunting for things amiss but nothing!

Next I called my brother who is way more able with things mechanical than I, he ran through a 'have you done this' list. I did what I hadn't but still nothing amiss so it was decided that best I 'suck it and see'. No other way to find out.

So, in trepidation I did, I started it up and all seemed fine...I drove it carefully into town, still no incident, I drove it further afield, still nothing! Well ok, there's lots of things falling off it and it's going to struggle to look vaguely hopeful at it's MOT next month but there was no sign of last nights fire and brimstone.....absolutely none!

How odd, cars don't fix themselves, they just don't, you know that, I know that but as if by magic mine appears to have.

This is more worrying that finding the problem in my book, particularly as I have to drive to the midlands on Friday!

Watch this space...I may yet be twittering or blogging from the hard shoulder of the M1 in which ever county I happen to be.... while the fire brigade do their stuff!

I hate having an old car, I don't give a damn that it looks a fright, it's just that it's a constant concern, completely unreliable and I hardly dare take it any distance these days, which kind of defeats it's purpose does it not?!

How to stop speeding!

It would appear that in my local authority area we have a new method of controlling speeding traffic of late.No longer do we require speed cameras, sneaky policemen wielding Gatso guns from behind a gate, sleeping policemen, warning signs flashing wildly at us should be exceed the prescribed limit by a fraction or even the fear of three points on our licence and a fine!

Nope, there is a much simpler and cheaper way to stop our speeding antics....just let it snow and then freeze for a few days allowing our badly built roads to produce potholes the size and depth of the average well and then wait in anticipation for the local authority to fix them...and wait.....and wait....and wait and damn well wait some more!

I don't know what it's like where you live, but here in this little town which already has something of a negative reputation for it's road surfaces, it is currently something more akin to off-roading than urban driving when trying to negotiate the main through routes. In an effort not to completely annihilate one's suspension and acquire wheels of various peculiar shapes a slalom course, which changes daily if not hourly, has to be followed, and it's a course which becomes more dangerous and aggravating by the day.

Speeding is a thing of the past, there is absolutely no danger of that, trying to make it above second gear is an impossibility and traffic flow is completely disrupted by stopping traffic having to wait for oncoming vehicles forced onto the wrong side of the carriageway while attempting to negotiate the numerous potholes that could, and have, caused serious vehicular damage already.

I know it all costs money but really, it's ridiculous, there are not one or two, there are one or five every few feet and these babies are big, some of them really big and more than a foot deep on occasion....and they are still there, all of them, weeks after the event and already, despite my best efforts at avoidance, my geriatric car is developing all manner of new 'issues' in the suspension and bearing departments....and I imagine that if I attempted to gain recompense from the local authority it would be a long drawn out red tape nightmare?

Come on guys, not good enough....sort it out! Or at least show willing and make some effort!

Like anything I say will make a difference!

Miffed? Me?

A kind of holiday and more crap car!

Tomorrow I get to go on 'holiday'...well kinda!

My days of proper holidays are pretty much behind me for now I suspect but I am heading to er...the Midlands (see I told you this wasn't going to be quite like my multi country holidays of the past!) to house and rabbit-sit for my sister and her family.

Ten days with a big house and all the trappings yada, yada, yada all to myself... but to be honest I'm not looking forward to it, in fact I am heading there in some degree of trepidation to say the least.

Firstly the crap car had done it's 'thing' again and last week decided to present 'braking issues'. As I consequence, with no money to get it fixed I have to drive all the way there on the 'A' routes at a slow speed, in case the situation arises where I have to rely on my gear box and a degree of clever maneuvering to come to a halt!

Secondly, I am a wimp and I don't like being alone for long periods, particularly not when I'm not on top 'happy form'. The thought of ten days, 24/7 completely on my own (save for the rabbit), in a mostly alien town where I know absolutely no-one, actually pretty much scares me rigid but it has to be done.

I will have plenty to keep me occupied, a big house to spring clean, an allotment to attend too (Oh I know how to live!)and a rabbit which I suspect I might turn into a house rabbit for the duration but I think by the time I get back I will probably be well practiced in the madness art of talking to myself!

Be warned...if you 'twitter' prepare to have to tolerate much of me over the next short while!!

Busy getting better!

Life seems to have become somewhat hectic of late, due in the main to the fact that TP's small surgery a couple of weeks ago is taking slightly longer to recover from than first anticipated.

All is well, it's just slower going than we had expected and as he isn't allowed to drive for now and my mother can't, all driving duties are for a short time, mine. The upside is that I get to have a decent car for a few weeks as opposed to trying to drag the crap car from place to place and I can't say that I much relish having to return to it anytime soon, hell, no electric windows or power assisted steering to name but a few! Ppfftt.

We are up against something of a time issue with this recovery process too because next weekend it will be 50 years since my parents married (jeez, 50 years....given my relationship history that seems pretty damn impressive, if something of an impossibility) and there is a big celebration with overnight stay etc. planned at a local hotel. TP has to be fit by then and so this coming week will be concentrated on that goal...which will be achieved without doubt!

Believe me, you don't do 50 years of marriage and then miss your own party! ;o)

A few hectic days!

You know how everything seems to happen at once, for weeks you have nothing much to do and then suddenly, out of the blue come a list of things that need doing at once...the next few days in gemmak's-ville is one of those times!

Tonight, in theory at least (I'll come to that later) we are off down to the South coast to spend the weekend at Fletch's parents doing the 40th birthday celebrations family style. It should be good, it always is, fun, laughter, good food, good company and the sea, even in winter I love the beach.

However, you might recall that Christmas became somewhat hectic when unfortunately one of Fletch's close relatives became very ill....sadly she died last week and the funeral is to be held on this coming Tuesday, which means a trip up to Yorkshire and possibly some taxi-ing of relatives.

As a result I have no idea where or when I will be, the next few days will probably be spend mainly on the road again, covering distances from Cambridge to the south coast, to Yorkshire, to the south coast, to Cambridge....and that's where I said earlier 'in theory' because as sods law would dictate, Fletch's company car, late last night, presented a 'fatal flaw' message regarding it's road holding capabilities flashing manically from it's warning systems......wouldn't you know it! Fantastic timing Mr Toyota!

It is thus that today himself is 'working from home' (wink) while frantic efforts are made to get the local dealership to at least make the problem safe, the alternative is to take my little crap car, the prospect of which is not a good one when faced with the probablilty of over 1000 miles and the likelihood of us never actually making it to the funeral.... and instead finding ourselves on the back of a rescue truck!

Happy weekend guys! I'm packing for the long haul, I'll be here when I can make it and in the meantime I'll doubtless be Twittering!

The Clampett effect!

I really begin to feel like The Clampetts in my damn car these days, I seem rarely to use it at the moment, but whenever I do it doesn't fail in it's ability to disappoint one way or another!

In the knowledge that yesterday I was visiting my parents, which involves a 180 mile drive, I decided on the previous day that I should take the crap car out 'just to check' it was in working order....and what I had intended to be a half hour outing turned into a whole day's debacle of hassle, stress and aggravation. Was the crap car in working order??....was it hell!

I had driven only five miles when suddenly a loud 'crack' sounded from the rear and in my mirror I witnessed the rear wiper flying through the air, gone forever. Bugger I thought, oh well, that's easily fixed, I'll sort it on my way home. I made it to my destination, Tesco's, did the shopping thing and set off in search of a new part. I had hardly hit the motorway again when I discovered that my nearside indicator had gone the way of the wiper and was making no effort whatsoever to indicate. Kaput! Bugger again! Mental note, 'Add to list of parts to buy, a new bulb'....and within seconds of that thought another loud clattering noise began emitting scarily from somewhere about me!

Moments later, with even more clattering, and before I had time to pull over anywhere to investigate the noise, a rather large 'bit of something' flew at high velocity off the side of the car and was to be seen, again in my rear view mirror, hurtling down the carriage-way and into a hedge! FFS!!!

I pulled over at the first opportunity and scrambled out into the rain, planted myself upside down in the mud and muck - oh joy - to investigate and discovered that the departing part had been a section of wheel arch and the remaining piece was dangling unhelpfully against the tyre, it's fixing grommets very absent! Exasperated I gave it a hard kick, temporarily securing it behind the body work...and carried on on my search for now more parts.

En-route I decided to check my tyre pressures, even that wasn't simple. The first place I tried the machine was defunct and the second had such a long queue that people were becoming fraught with one another and small arguments began to erupt. I opted to use the car wash first and go back to the air after that....next small disaster...the car wash broke with me in it! Arghhhh! Thankfully it didn't trap me inside and there was another, but I had to fight the attendant to issue me with another ticket! It was beginning to feel very much like it was one of those days I just shouldn't have got out of bed at all!

Eventually, by now very rankled, I emerged clean from the wash and pumped up my tyres, things were looking up....until when emptying the car ashtray I dropped it into the bottom of the cavernous bin and had to hang upside down on the edge with my whole body poking through the little hole in the side to retrieve it! Don't laugh!

The rest is a blur, I got lost trying to find Halfords so abandoned that plan and instead found a local car parts emporium, where I was provided with the wiper...only to find I didn't have enough money to pay for it and had to rush off to the bank and go all the way back. The indicator light wasn't the bulb but a corroded connection requiring more than a quick fix and the wheel arch was history, new parts not available and duct tape seemed to be the only short term solution on offer!

By the time I got home it was dark and I was completely fraught and frazzled, my half hour trip had taken most of the day and my car was hung together with tape, I was feeling less than 'chipper' to say the least. There is always an upside though. I did manage to make it to my parents yesterday, which had I not 'tested' the car the previous day I wouldn't have, a good time was had, we bought a Christmas tree and got it decorated and I only had to stop three times on my travels to boot the dangling arch back behind the metal work!!!

The Clampetts have nothing on me man!

Shortlisted

Wow...two good things in one week! What's going on?

First the crap car surpassed itself in passing it's MOT test and now Schmap have shortlisted one of my photographs to accompany one of it's articles.

This doesn't of course catapult me to David Bailey status, it doesn't involve any payment (though I would get credit and a link) and the final decision is yet to be made but to even be shortlisted is quite pleasing. :o)

The crap car!

After much professional advice to the contrary and in the full knowledge that by my own investigations much was wrong 'the crap car' (you perhaps have to read 'A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian' by Marina Lewycka to find that phrase funny) it amazingly managed to drag itself, kicking and screaming, through an M.O.T. test yesterday........ and passed!!

I am still stunned! The car God's must have been smiling on me!

I had gone in there very well aware that should it fail on what I suspected it would then this was probably the end of the road (pardon the pun) for it, given that my none existent meagre bank account was not going to be able to even contemplate the bill.

This was not going to be a happy moment and nor was it going to assist the employment search. As it was it turned into one of those ridiculously elated moments and I suspect that the guy testing it was a little taken aback by my reaction to the news, which I have to confess involved some degree of jumping up and down!
Yes, it does still need a fair number of repairs, the cost of which is way beyond me right now but none of them were severe enough to cause a fail and all of them can wait a little longer for the necessary attention. I might add that this is not new where this car is concerned, I bought it new and almost from the day the warranty expired it began to fall apart, I have never had so much trouble with a car in my life, I think I have replaced almost every part over the last few years...some of them twice and most of it documented here over the years!

It may be a crap car, it may be 'getting on a bit', slow, boring and most other things one doesn't normally want in a car but to me it's pretty important, it's gets me from A to B, it's about the only possession I haven't lost over the last few years having fought the bankruptcy courts hard to keep it, it feels somehow like my last bit of independence and it's mine and the only one I've got!

Today I love my crap car! :o)

Incidentally, if you haven't read 'A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian' you should, it's without doubt the best book I ever read and utterly hilarious in a strange way.

Is nothing ever straightforward?

I need to find a way to write this post a little 'delicately' and to that end I will try carefully to choose my words but forgive me if I fail a little.....diplomacy has never been one of my strongest points!

So....where to start with this delicate subject?

Here goes. I was off work yesterday, sick, yes really and honestly, no sickie, no ruse, I was poorly, my cold got the better of me and at five in the morning when I got up for work I just knew I wasn't up to it....so I went back to bed.

Unfortunately I also had an appointment for one of the 'women tests' at the quacks, you know the one, 'the routine, once every three years, lie back and relax please while I put the fear of God into you with an enormous speculum test'. I know, we none of us look forward to it but it's necessary and it's a simple procedure, right?

Wrong!

It's a simple procedure if one's anatomy is where it all should be, which in my case, isn't the damn case (wouldn't you know it). Apparently I have a very tilted womb, it wasn't always and they don't know why it is now, it's usually caused by a trauma i.e being involved in a car accident....I haven't been involved in anything that could cause that kind of injury but nonetheless it ain't quite where it ought to be!

This is problematical for the poor doctor attempting to carry out aforementioned procedure, despite my always fore warning them. Believe me I have suffered some amusing debacles in the past and what usually takes 5 minutes seems always to run into half an hour or more in my case. Ugh.

This time was no different, out came the 'alternative' and more scary apparatus of torture, suitable for my apparent deformity, and after the usual kind words telling me to relax (who the hell is gonna relax half naked in a cold room when someone is coming at your most delicate of regions with something that looks like it's stolen from a meccano kit, I ask you?) she got on with the job....only she didn't, and that's the problem.

I'm not a nurse or a doctor, I don't know too much of the specifics and I don't know that I want to but I do know that historically for me, and this experience was no different, it takes way too much faffing and fiddling around in there to try and locate the 'apparatus' where it needs to be located and get the job done. To be precise 25 minutes on this occasion....not my idea of fun, particularly when I already felt like crap.

Eventually it was done and by her own admission the doctor declared she was 'quite glad that was over'......she was glad??? Hello??? and that I had been a star given the difficulty and that was that, off I went to my car.

....and I drove home fine, if feeling a little yukky, walked through the back door happily........and promptly fainted!

Odd ears?

I think I must just be fated where elecrical gadgetry is concerned, it seems that most of what I have bought over the years has chosen to disintegrate in a very short space of time and I promise you it is not mistreatment, I take good care of stuff.

Despite this I am well practiced at standing my ground with officious store managers trying to offload their responsibility elsewhere instead of taking ownership of the problem (and cost) and of replacements/repairs etc. etc. etc. This is in part because I am incenced at the crap that churns off production lines and in part because having spent years being the store personell on the other end of this situation I know the law and my rights inside out where faulty goods and the like are concerned.

So what is it this time? It's those damn bluetooth headset things, that for me cause way more distraction than just using the damn phone would.


I am currently on number four in approx. six months! All faulty save for one, the current new model that it would appear requires me to have enormous one size ears to keep it attached to my head!

I've had two just give up the ghost inside a few weeks, one that only answered calls intermittently and now this new delight, that if I dare to turn my head slightly, to for instance, observe traffic coming to a junction...ejects itself at high velocity to anyplace in my (also still broken) car where it is only retrievable with much scrabbling around on the floor!

I have tried everything but short of Sellotaping it to my head (or staple gunning it, thanks for that suggestion Fletch)I'm on a loser here....it just wont stay put, I wonder what tomorrows upcoming 'contretemps' with a store manager will bring on this issue?

Maybe I just have odd ears!

Gimme a break!

Jeez....just how many more bits are going to fall off my crap car I wonder, please, just one week without something going wrong would be good!

I've had this godforsaken thing since it was new, 6 years and almost from the day it's warranty expired it began to disintegrate, most of it logged on this blog along the way.

Thursday the exhaust fell off, this evening driving back from Cambridge a warning light on the dash started to flash furiously at me....not just any old oil light, something I could rectify, nope, this was the one the manual stipulates one must stop immediately for should it light. I've been here before, last time it cost me an arm and a leg, so I stopped! Thankfully I was near to a service station so at least I could get coffee....well that was the theory but both coffee machines were u/s so I couldn't even achieve that.

I called the rescue service who promptly attended.... almost two hours later, popped the bonnet and kindly told me he was surprised I had gotten 3 years out of 'this car' let alone 6! Thanks mister. He went on to tell me I would be better off getting a loan and buying a new one....I didn't see the point in explaining that car loans aren't readily available to recently discharged bankrupts.

Heap of crap car was duly hooked up to a pretty funky all weather laptop and a failed sensor on the catalytic converter was diagnosed, along with the recommendation that I 'limp it home' because the rescue vehicle would be at least another two hours. On the upside he told me with a smile (grrr), if I broke down again and was stranded on the hard shoulder of the M25 it would take less than half an hour to recover me......women on the hardshoulder in the dark are not considered in a safe position and get pronto service.....hey, I knew there had to be an upside somewhere.

So that's it, crap car is poorly yet again, back to the garage tomorrow....more money, more aggravation.

Arggghhh, gimme a break here!

I'm a bad, bad blogger....

.....in fact I'm worse, I've barely been a blogger at all this last week!

Somehow I just didn't seem to have the wherewithal to 'get to it', it's been a kind of crap week one way and another, only added too today by my car exhaust falling off unceremoniously on my way home from work. Grrrr.

But hey, it's Friday tomorrow which means the weekend and weekends are always good, so maybe next week I'll have got my act together somewhat and will manage to be a better behaved blogger!

Have a good one guys :o)

Oh....and coincidentally I found THIS was today's 'Daily Om'. Strange how that happens sometimes...or fortuitous!

Walk? What do you mean walk!

I don't 'do' walking, I do cars and motorbikes but not feet!

Yet again yesterday afternoon my ever failing car was deposited in the garage, this time to have some bearings replaced. Now usually in these circumstances my father chauffeurs me to work but this morning he was feeling a little 'inclement' and so other arrangements had to be made.

Bear in mind here that I live almost two miles from my place of white van torture and I have the pleasure of having to start at the un-godly hour of 06.00 hrs.

So the options were considered....and they were few, just two in fact, take a cab or walk. Well I would be damned if was going to pay a cab, I don't really know why I won't take a cab other than they seem to border on a form of legal extortion and oft times have less than savoury characters at the wheel but a taxi for just two miles I didn't consider an option, so I was left with using my 'own steam' as my only other choice. There are no buses at that time in the morning.

I was up with the lark (or something) at 4.45, and ablutions and breakfast dealt with I hit the pavements at 5.30 and you know what.......I really enjoyed it! So much so in fact that I decided to take a somewhat convoluted route to avoid any kind workmate passing me and offering a lift!

Mornings are not my best time to put it mildly, if a day is going to be a crap day it will have been decided in my head within two hours of waking but very unexpectedly the 'walking business' set me up for a better day than many, it was really good, it kind of cleared my head, gave me something else to concentrate on other than my usual worryings and there were birds, lots of them fluttering and tweeting, cats returning from a night on the tiles I could pass the time of day with and even a fox to keep me amused as I pottered along humming to myself. As I passed through the town centre at that early hour the market traders were setting up for the day and as ever the cheery bunch they are they all greeted me as I walked by with various forms of 'good morning'..... as opposed to the usual 'head down and don't meet anyone's eye' attitude it seems people later in the day prefer.

I arrived at work 15 minutes early having also managed a little window shopping along the final stretch of my journey, and sat on a wall for a while watching the town gradually wake up to the sound of the nearby underground, the traffic slowly coming to life and people beginning to emerge from front doors...... yup, very surprisingly I quite like this early walking malarky, ok, so probably I won't be making a regular habit of it but now and again I think I might just leave the car behind on a nice morning!

A test of nerve!

Daily, since I have been driving the white van from hell for a living, I have had to get through one nerve racking, mouth drying, hand trembling, shallow breathing moment each and every day.....and surprisingly it's not the sight of the merchandise I offer....though that at times wouldn't stand too close scrutiny!

No, it's a car dealership that I deliver too that presents the problem, or one specific problem.

The place in question is an Aston Martin dealership and by virtue of that there isn't a vehicle on sale in the entire place for less than approx. £40,000......

and many that carry a price tag way, way in excess of that. Add to that there are 'one off's', collectors models, classics, the whole she-bang, with values going up to almost £200,000.

Now this wouldn't ordinarily be a difficulty, save for some of the rather, shall we say, 'intolerant prima-donna' customers, who by virtue of their wealth expect to be treated as royalty but oft times don't seem to show even basic manners in return, the difficulty is the layout of the property.

There is one long drive into the rear of the place, just wide enough, at a push, to accommodate two vehicles, two small vehicles I might add, but for reasons of space one side is parked up nose to tail the full length with aforementioned very expensive cars, I can deal with that, driving in is tight but no problem.

What is a problem is getting out again!

There is nowhere to turn around at the bottom and nowhere else I can park up to sell my wares, the consequence being that I have to reverse out the 100 yards, in the van from hell, with only wing mirrors (no back window of course) and have at best maybe only two inches clearance at each side, one side of course would only result in my damaging the van against a brick wall, the other side....hell, I wouldn't like to even consider the insurance claim if I hit anything that side!!

And so I conclude, in seven months, in all weathers and despite some degree of nervousness, thus far not so much as one tiny casualty, dent or bump famous last words have I caused to man, beat, white van or very expensive cars....who said woman drivers are crap??

(Ok guys, you don't have to answer that one, it was rhetorical!!)

A 'Monday' kinda Monday

Monday's are never good but I'm having 'one of those days', a very 'Monday' kinda Monday, call it pathetic, call it feeling sorry for myself call it what you will but it's not one of my better days, in fact it's pretty crap. It's one of those days when you just want to hide away somewhere quietly until the black cloud lifts a little, when you wish wishes really came true and when a cuddle would be good.

The reality is that tomorrow I have my interview with the official receiver, the 'day of judgment' when I will learn if I am to lose my car and it's getting way too close now to the day of Tilly's departure to her new home. If ever there was a wish I wanted to come true it was the 'save Tilly' wish but it seems it's not going to happen, we have less than a fortnight left together now and it just seems to be getting harder.

On the up side there has been one small light on today's grim horizon....I managed to open a new bank account despite my recent bankruptcy. Yup, Barclays Bank were prepared to take the risk. It's not much of a risk I grant you, the only account I am allowed as an undischarged bankrupt is very limited but it does mean I can at least get paid a salary (when I earn one) and pay my bills via direct debit, the lack of a direct debit facility in my life was beginning to cause me real problems so at least it's one less thing to worry about.

So, yayyy for Barclays ( I never thought I would say that about a bank) for giving me something of a second chance, it may be a very small step but in my recent financial life it's about the most positive thing that's happened in a long long time. For a few minutes this morning when the application was granted I almost felt 'normal', it made such a nice change to have something work out right among the melee that is my current situation.

Oh....and I had another small 'hairdressers incident' today, I might go into that another time but for now I'de rather ignore it, today probably wasn't a good day to choose to have my hair cut!

Biting the bullet

So this morning I decided I needed to 'bite the bullet' a little harder and actually make inroads into the becoming bankrupt thing.

Thus far I have dithered, I have researched it, I have considered it, I have tried to think of all the pro's and con's but I hadn't actually done anything about it....the actually doing it is kinda scary, the point of no return.

As time has elapsed the problems surrounding this delightful state of 'financial cock-up' seemed to become greater and greater (is nothing simple?), for those who consider it so, this is by no means an easy way out, the repercussions have the possibility of becoming quite daunting. Obviously I have to learn to live without the god that is credit cards (not a bad thing in reality), the threat of losing most of my possessions (like I have may!!!) including my car, without which I'm stuffed, a frozen and then non existent bank account (how in God's name do I pay direct debits I wonder?), a completely defunct credit reference for at least six years, prospective landlords taking an instant dislike to my becoming a tenant, absolutely no possibility of a mortgage without massive massive interest penalties or dodgy offshore dealings, this address, which isn't mine becoming credit blacklisted (my parents are gonna love me to bits for that one) and hell....... I don't even know how I will get a salary paid to me once I have a job, without having to divulge this damn bankruptcy thing to the world at large!

Oh...and just for good measure I have to try and raise £500 somehow to pay for the priviledge. Um.......do those seeking personal bankruptcy usually have £500 cash (unsurprisingly county courts don't accept cheques or credit cards) sitting around doing nothing then?

But hey ho, onward and upward, this morning I registered with the insolvency bods, I got the final bits of information I needed and so all I have to do now is fill in the copious number of pages with horrendous amounts of information and then go to court and be grilled for an hour or so by a judge, who in theory at least, will declare me financially inept and pass me onto a liquidator. He or she will then paw through my possessions and assets (ha ha) for anything worth taking and consider making a charge against me for three years.

Sounds like fun don't you think?!.....remind me to forget this part of my life quite quickly if you would please. Bitter? moi?

...and for good measure, whilst I'm having a crap day I have an appointment at the dreaded hairdressers this afternoon, might as well do all the yukky nice stuff at once eh?.

Tomorrow is another day...I hope! ;o)

STOP! ....I wanna get off.

That is today I am talking of, today I would like to stop and get off.

If I were asked to compile a list of the top twenty crap days in my life, today would surely be in there somewhere.

It began yesterday afternoon in fact and just carried on into today, progressing steadily downhill. Yesterday I managed, despite getting toward two years in the blogosphere thus far 'incident free' to have two fellow bloggers call me a 'moron'. Both in comments, both completely unconnected. The first because I made a mistake with something and despite my attempting to rectify that mistake and apologise, and the second, purely because the individual concerned didn't like my only mildly expressed opinion. It begs the question quite how insulting he/she might have been had I said it how I really saw it!

So I was somewhat narked, the first incident quite upset me but I let off steam to a friend and that was that.

This morning I woke having only had three hours sleep. I never sleep well on a Friday night, it's the knowing I have to be up at 5am that does it.....or rather the fear that I won't be to be more specific. It was one of those mornings where the well oiled routine somehow didn't work quite as it should. The milk in my coffee was sour, the cats got under my feet and my car breaks seized again, though this is only the first time this winter, so perhaps I should count myself lucky in comparison to last year.

And so I stumbled into work at the very last moment (I hate doing that), hot and bothered and tired....to be met with some sad news about someone whom I care, and which others of our number seem to consider only good fodder for malicious gossip. What is it about other people's misfortune and sadness that some find so amusing? My hackles rose still further.

The day continued, it was a maniacally busy one, my hip was giving me serious gip (yes, I am old enough to have an arthritic hip thankyouverymuch) my head hurt and all I wanted to do was slope off into a corner somewhere..... but no chance. It took four, not the usual two of us, to fend off the customers on our little customer service 'box'....four people barely fit, we were tripping over each other, we were each trying to deal with a multitude of problems at any one time, there were queues of moaning, irritated people constantly, the EPOS software played up, the whole computer system attempted to crash completely, threatening to disable everything in in it's wake if it succeeded and gradually I had that horrible, sinking feeling that what usually runs like clockwork, well mostly at least, was spiraling rapidly out of control before my very eyes.

On and on it went, no let up. What it was specifically about today that made it fall so badly apart I don't know, a mad day at work is usually more entertaining than the slow ones but today I just lost the plot somewhere amid the madness, today I just wanted to slope off and snivel for a while, but of course I didn't......well, it just wouldn't be seemly would it!


Much chocolate is now in order I think.......