I told you so!

You really would think I would learn not to be quite so silly wouldn't you! Remember the stalker issue a few months back.....ugh, beat me over the head with a wet kipper will you please someone!

What have I done this time you might ask. Well the guy concerned backed off after some very tough talking and to cut a long-ish story short, behaved impeccably from that point on, so me being me, I eventually agreed to meet up with him last week.

I know, I know.

I had many discussions with a close male friend who was of the opinion that leopards don't change their spots etc. but ultimately I decided I should give the guy concerned a second chance given his apparently changed attitude and the fact that I knew he had sought counselling for his issues in that area.

Anyway, we met last Saturday, by my decision in the middle of town on carnival day so there were lots of people around and to be honest he wasn't scary, he was actually quite a nice guy (judgement fail!), we got on easily and it even had it's amusing aspect in that I am 5' and he is 6'8"!! We spent the afternoon talking comfortably and then went our separate ways.... but it was apparent at that point he was more keen than I.

I gave it some thought but decided within a day or two that despite his not being as I had expected, I was still wary of him and so tactfully told him that I didn't wish to take it any further.

You know what happened next of course don't you!

He reverted to type instantly and kicked off with a tirade of abuse (text only) that would curl the toes of the most hardy veteran of unpleasant behaviour. I asserted my point and then ignored him. Eventually he apologised and has since only contacted me very occasionally on day to day stuff. I am treading carefully and rarely responding....which I will tail off to never responding in the hope that it becomes history.... but I feel I have been vindicated, my initial gut feeling was right but I should have learned my lesson and not been drawn in again to give him another chance!

I don't need it, if he can revert that quickly it's more than concerning.

Oh....and the friend who mentioned 'leopards and spots' has refrained thus far from saying 'I told you so', more than once! God love him! ;)

Ms. Not So Savvy!

So, Ms. 'thought she was pretty internet savvy' here has made a glaringly fundamental mistake!

This blog began with the intention of being anonymous and for the most part, over almost six years, I have achieved that. There has of course been one or two 'glitches' but nothing major and I was pretty convinced that I had secured it well enough that strangers couldn't find it and associate it with me, the real person.

WRONG!

It transpired yesterday that someone I had met online only the day before, managed to find 'gemmak'....and more worryingly, he did it very easily, dammit! I had overlooked one thing (that I am aware of!). Well to be more specific I hadn't overlooked it, I had considered it and thought it highly unlikely anyone would go that route.

Wrong again!

As it happens in this case (if you read this you know who you are and I should thank you for making me aware!)it doesn't actually matter and there's no real issue other than my embarrassment but given my recent stalker episode it does concern me. I have however now 'plugged the hole' so it will be much harder for anyone to go the same route in the future but it has made me think again about the fact that over the years I have got a little complacent and that I must sharpen up my act.

Incidentally, for obvious reasons I won't advertise the 'loophole' here but if you want to know for the preservation of your own anonymity, just drop me a line or a comment.

Ms. Not so bloody savvy eh? Duh!

On my stalker and my stupidity!

I suppose it was always likely to happen one day, we, or at least I think I am savvy enough to avoid it but it seems it's not always as straightforward as we might like to imagine!

What am I talking about? Well, I appear to have got myself a somewhat scary stalker via the interweb. Ugh. :(

To cut a long story short he has been less than impressed by my telling him I don't want to meet up with him. In part it's my own fault. My gut reaction weeks ago was that this guy was bad news but for whatever reason I chose to give him a 'second chance' and began responding to his emails/texts again. Silly, stupid woman! None of that excuses his behaviour however.

The reasons I chose to do that are perhaps complicated and maybe I don't entirely understand them myself, in part he was nice, interesting, bright, amusing yada, yada, in fact there were aspects of him that were very interesting but there were one or two things that just got my safety antenna jangling like bells right from the start. I should have listened!

I know all the rules, I've been on t'internet long enough and I'm old enough and ugly enough to know better but I still made a serious error of judgement and a poor decision, which in an odd way is psychologically the interesting aspect and a maybe a good lesson learned.

No matter how much time I have spent on the internet, no matter how savvy I might think I am, I still allowed myself, against all the contrary evidence and advice from one or two trusted male friends (thank you guys, you know who you are) to be manipulated into something that deep down I felt was concerning! I need to look at that in me a little harder maybe!

....And I have got my comeuppance for my stupidity. This guy lives close by, is angry with me and whilst he hasn't actually threatened me yet I have thus far had 24 hours feeling like I'm looking over my shoulder all the time and a sleepless night worrying about what, if any, his next move might be. He doesn't thankfully know my address but he does know the town and I'm sure it's not beyond him to search the electoral roll if he felt so inclined. He has however not contacted me now since yesterday morning when I told him in no uncertain terms to 'cease all communication', so my fingers are firmly crossed!

Hopefully it will all come to nothing more but I'm not ashamed to say it's scared the crap out of me and I don't like feeling this vulnerable one - little - bit. Maybe it is however a good and timely wake up call, because whilst I'm sure most guys out there are ok and this is my first and only 'incident' in many years, some are not ok, very not ok in fact and I had allowed myself to become far too complacent.

Stupid, stupid, idiot, f*ckwit woman!