Ever ready!!

A battery, nothing unusual about that I hear you say. Well it might seem slightly more unusual when I tell you where it came from.

This battery came from the doorbell at my parents house, it was removed only last week. The doorbell was replaced because said battery had expired, died, was no more.

Still nothing odd, other than maybe it seems a little extreme to replace the whole thing for the sake of the battery?

Ok...what is odd and pretty impressive by today's standards is that the bell was replaced because this kind of battery is no longer available.....the one pictured had been in the doorbell and working up until a few days ago, since 1968!!! That's 40 years...never replaced, it just carried on all that time!!!!!

And yes, we have had visitors over the years, it was used! ;o)

Hmmmm....and today's batteries last about a week if you get a good one!

Is nothing ever straightforward?

I need to find a way to write this post a little 'delicately' and to that end I will try carefully to choose my words but forgive me if I fail a little.....diplomacy has never been one of my strongest points!

So....where to start with this delicate subject?

Here goes. I was off work yesterday, sick, yes really and honestly, no sickie, no ruse, I was poorly, my cold got the better of me and at five in the morning when I got up for work I just knew I wasn't up to it....so I went back to bed.

Unfortunately I also had an appointment for one of the 'women tests' at the quacks, you know the one, 'the routine, once every three years, lie back and relax please while I put the fear of God into you with an enormous speculum test'. I know, we none of us look forward to it but it's necessary and it's a simple procedure, right?

Wrong!

It's a simple procedure if one's anatomy is where it all should be, which in my case, isn't the damn case (wouldn't you know it). Apparently I have a very tilted womb, it wasn't always and they don't know why it is now, it's usually caused by a trauma i.e being involved in a car accident....I haven't been involved in anything that could cause that kind of injury but nonetheless it ain't quite where it ought to be!

This is problematical for the poor doctor attempting to carry out aforementioned procedure, despite my always fore warning them. Believe me I have suffered some amusing debacles in the past and what usually takes 5 minutes seems always to run into half an hour or more in my case. Ugh.

This time was no different, out came the 'alternative' and more scary apparatus of torture, suitable for my apparent deformity, and after the usual kind words telling me to relax (who the hell is gonna relax half naked in a cold room when someone is coming at your most delicate of regions with something that looks like it's stolen from a meccano kit, I ask you?) she got on with the job....only she didn't, and that's the problem.

I'm not a nurse or a doctor, I don't know too much of the specifics and I don't know that I want to but I do know that historically for me, and this experience was no different, it takes way too much faffing and fiddling around in there to try and locate the 'apparatus' where it needs to be located and get the job done. To be precise 25 minutes on this occasion....not my idea of fun, particularly when I already felt like crap.

Eventually it was done and by her own admission the doctor declared she was 'quite glad that was over'......she was glad??? Hello??? and that I had been a star given the difficulty and that was that, off I went to my car.

....and I drove home fine, if feeling a little yukky, walked through the back door happily........and promptly fainted!

Global confusion?

On a day when snow (yayyy) is forecast for later in the week I find this in the garden:


So, has spring sprung and the forecasters are just wrong again or is it that the global warming malarkey has everything a little confused?!

The perfect marriage!!! (for 30 days)

If you only read one blog post this week read THIS ONE

I'm not sure if I should laugh, cry or scream but whatever, it's the ultimate proof that the world really has gone mad!

Man flu!

Ok, there are two of us here, Fletch and myself, it's not been the best of weekends from a health point of view, there has been much sniffling, coughing, sneezing and other associated unpleasantries going on. We are not well.

One significant difference is apparent tho, I'll give you one guess who is making the unending cups of coffee, who has been asked in that oh so familiar to we women 'poorly man voice', "please will you get me my laptop from the car babe" (three floors down and back up again in the cold) and who is fighting with the broken washing machine....yup the difference is that I have a cold and himself has the dreaded and much more severe and debilitating of infections, MAN FLU! ;o)

It's my turn...

.....to have the dreaded lurgy it would seem. For a fortnight I have felt 'under the weather' like some unpleasentness was about to
invade my physiology....and finally yesterday it did.....with bells on.

Bleugh :o/

Nothing startling, the usual, snottiness, hacking cough, sore bits and a general feeling of overall nastiness but I'm not the worlds greatest patient, I'm feeling sorry for myself, somewhat pathetic and.....would someone please pass me the Benylin!

I wonder...

... Can I blog from my phone? Lets see...

My fifteen minutes of fame....not!

My post yesterday on the subject of John Hogan, today caused me an hour or two of slight panic when the B.B.C. got a hold of it!

Halfway through the day a B.B.C. researcher emailed me to ask if I would be prepared to take part in a World Service radio broadcast, 'World have your say', on the subject of 'Is insanity any excuse for murder'.

I didn't really take it seriously but mailed him back late in the afternoon saying yes I would....almost immediately he called me, chatted to me for a few minutes and then said he would like to try and fit me into the programme if he could...to air in 45 minutes time, from that point!

Jeez! Vallium anyone? ;o)

Ok, joking aside, it's a serious subject and one I feel passionately about so I agreed to wait by my phone while the show aired, ready in case they could find a spot for me and my opinions.

As it turned out it didn't happen, my five minutes of fame didn't materialise and without doubt those who did take part in the programme were way better qualified than myself to do so.

I may not have made it to broadcast but nonetheless it's kinda pleasing just to know that my little blog got noticed at all .......and I have to confess that in the end, my relief at not having to string a coherrent sentence together live on air was tangible!

Sorry Mr Warhol...it just wasn't my time!

Verdict - John Hogan

Though I am sure there are many who will disagree with me strongly, I am glad to hear that a verdict of not guilty has been returned in the case of murder against John Hogan, the man who leaped from a balcony with his children in Crete in 2006, resulting in the death of his son.

That in no way suggests that I don't understand the seriousness of the act or the anguish caused to all involved but rarely it seems is depression truly understood, in this case it seems unusually that it was.

The quote by a representative of the charity Sane at the bottom of the linked page (and repeated below) sums it up:

"We welcome the verdict in the trial of John Hogan, and the judge's acknowledgement of his disturbed mental state and his need for psychiatric treatment.

"This case highlights how extraordinary mental pain can tragically distort a person's perception and judgment.

"While in no way underestimating the terrible consequences of John Hogan's actions we should not automatically condemn him without considering the depth of mental anguish he was suffering.

"Severe depression is not simply a case of feeling 'blue' and those at its mercy cannot 'pull themselves together'. It is a serious illness and a debilitating psychiatric disorder that changes personalities and wrecks lives."

(Un)Health & (Un)Safety!

My place of work is a nightmare at times and at no time more so than last week!

There was constant 'infighting' and fallings out among staff and management, I use the term 'management' very loosely here because not one of them has the slightest ability or training in management and one in particular has even less in the way of people skills than the average bull in a china shop, the result being that two people did a 'no show' for a couple of days and the rest of us had to work harder and in an atmosphere that was somewhat less than congenial!
I tried my best not to become embroiled in the carrying-ons, thank the Lord I am on the road for the most part of the day (though driving through floods constantly and spending eight hours a day soaked to the skin did little to lift my spirits) but I couldn't help but say my piece on one issue.

For two hours before I hit the road I have the unenviable task of making an array of boringly filled sandwiches, for this a sealing machine is required, we have a sealing machine, just the one mind you, the other two are defunct and seem to have remained that way, the sealing machine seals very well, nay it seals exceptionally well, so where you might wonder is my problem.

Take a look at this picture (very poor quality I'm afraid, you will understand why it was taken 'poste haste' on my phone in secret) and you might just begin to understand where my complaint is coming from. This is the mains cable on the sealing machine....that sits on a wet, steel work surface all day long!!!! (and incidentally the inner insulation is damaged too)


Apparently I am being picky in making a complaint!!!

Add to that someone saw fit to put descaler in the water urn without bothering to put a notice on it to that effect. Yours truly arrived back at the premises cold and wet, made a cup of coffee, took two mouthfuls before realising just how horrible it tasted and the only response offered was that 'at least if my arteries are 'furred up' they would now be clear!!!

FFS!!!

Ok....I'm looking for another job!

I'm getting too old for this!

Result! It's a Monday and I'm not at work! And I'm not ill! Yayyyyy!

The reason? Fletch's birthday.....and a very heavy weekend of partying preceded by a suitable degree of forethought that today we would require a 'day of recovery' and hence a days holiday leave. It's a good feeling, Monday morning, the world is back to work and we ain't! ;o)

So, the sleepless weekend: A hundred mile drive to Cambridge on only three hours sleep the night before and then a mad night out in St Ives with friends, much beer, much food and much hilarity.

Bed for a few few hours then on the road again to the South coast, another two hundred miles and another night of hilarity, beer and this time tapas. Sunday, the return two hundred miles and finally a whole nights sleep!

It was a damn good weekend, a distraction and relaxation (mental if not physical) from the normal day to day hassles, I even got to sit on the beach (in strong winds and drizzle I hasten to add) and fit a rapid moment of retail therapy in, but really I am getting way to old for all the partying malarkey, or at least for whole weekends of it.

The tell tale signs of this I suspect were that and there were more than a few moments when curling up in a corner for a snooze seemed a very attractive prospect and that despite chastising myself for the reaction I found myself aggravated (just once mind you) by the volume of music preventing any conversation!

Yup....ten years ago I would have been horrified had anyone suggested the music was too loud......definite proof of age!

The attack of the killer parasols!

In retrospect this tale of something that happened to me this afternoon is funny, but I can assure you that at the time is was somewhat less than funny and quite dangerous.

For those of you not in the UK we seem here to have recently developed a 'monsoon' season, it has barely stopped raining for weeks and for my part I have been driving the van from hell through constantly flooded roads day after day after day for what seems an interminable length of time.

So with that background today's tale:

Having finished work I decided on a stroll through the local town, a bit of window shopping and maybe a coffee. As I was strolling through the town centre in only light rain, minding my own business, from nowhere there was a clap of thunder, immediately followed by torrential rainfall and a sudden extremely strong wind. Accompanying this I was immediately aware of some god awful noise and looking up I was faced with the sight of two table, eight chairs, two parasols and two accompanying concrete weights hurtling towards me at break neck speed.

I kid you not, this wind was strong and the industrial strength patio furniture usually housed nicely on the pavement outside of Starbucks was moving en-mass at an unbelievable speed towards me.

There was only one thing between me and the killer parasols, a man also walking along the street, he pinned himself to the wall and with only a second to react I did the same.....only I happened (thankfully) to be by a shop doorway....which in my panic I duly fell through!!! Oh, forever elegant! Not!

The parasols and their incumbents came to a crashing halt against another shop just yards away....and broke up into their various, previously assembled parts!

Starbucks staff rushed out into the street all full of concern for any passers by and to survey their once reasonably attractive furniture and an assistant in the shop who's doorway I had made my rapid and in elegant entrance hauled me off the floor and checked I was still in one piece!

Ok, so it's funny now, you may titter, but had all that stuff hit me, or worse still some elderly frail soul, it might have been a whole less funny....this was industrial strength, heavy duty furniture and concrete travelling at an unbelievable speed in the middle of a town centre.

For my part....hey, the shop I fell into was a shoe shop....it was only polite that I should make a purchase by way of thanks for the staffs concern over me! ;o)

It's been...

....one of those weeks and I can't believe it's still only wednesday!!! We should be well into Saturday by now!

I need some fun (work has been an utter debacle one way and another since Monday) and lots of sleep and then maybe I can begin to resemble something approaching a civil human state again.

...or maybe not! ;o)

Dumbass!

Is it just me or does anyone else struggle with THIS?? My mind just wasn't engineered to get beyond the cute cat bit it would appear!

I'm trying, really, I'm trying but it just isn't making any kind of sense thus far......

Ok, I'm a dumbass! ;o)

Any one got an ark?

Um...it rained last night!

These two pictures are of the same spot, the first is this morning, the second a few weeks ago, the fields are usually full of merrily grazing cows and sheep!




Yup, it rained and it rained and I suspect that when they emerge from their beds this morning, the owners of these vehicles will wish they remained sober last night and driven home....




But hey, the swans are having fun!


....and if anyone fancies a Sunday afternoon stroll and is in possession of a sturdy pair of waders there is this on offer!....


(Images clickable and a few more here)

How typical!

It's not often I receive a compliment, so a few days ago when one was offered I should have been suitably flattered and I would have been had a fact not transpired that I am sure some will find suitably amusing (yes Fletch I mean you!).

I was at work, out on the road at a call when a young-ish guy new to the place I was at, asked me how I was. I was soaked to the skin, cold and bored to a greater degree so I said in (semi) joking tones that I would be better if I were not in such a condition. His reply.... "oh well, never mind, at least you still have your looks"

I took the compliment with the grace it deserved only to be informed by the customer next in the queue....... that my 'complimenter' is in fact for the most part blind!

I don't wish to be ungracious or politically incorrect, it was regardless a kind comment, but somehow it just wasn't quite the same!

Seville....the pictures

For the rest of the remotely acceptable photos *we* took while we were in Seville .... go HERE.

Meet 'Cassie'

I have been meaning to introduce 'Cassie' here for a while but somehow I never quite got the time.....so now, please meet 'Cassie':


Cassie is my 'surrogate' pet. My missing Tilly and having an animal to live alongside me in my life never leaves me and as a consequence I seem to have turned into one of those odd individuals who stops to 'talk' to almost any available creature as I go about my daily routine. Rabbits, squirrels, cats, birds, horses, donkeys, and most often of course dogs....dogs are more readily available!

Cassie, a ten year old golden retriever bitch is my most regular 'adoptee'. She belongs to a lady I deliver too each day on my rounds and she has become the highlight each day of my trundles around the countryside.

She knows when I will call and is ready and waiting by the time I arrive. Her greeting always cheers me as she rushes along the lane, ears flapping wildly in the wind and almost bowls me over coming to a rapid halt by laying down on my feet and turning herself belly side up for her daily ten minute cuddle!

I am not fooled of course, there is a degree of 'cupboard love' going on here for she knows only too well by now that not only do I deliver sandwiches but I also carry a treat for her each day! This routine has become entrenched now and there is no way I could escape the daily offering! She has consumed all manner of fare over the months, crisps, snacks, biscuits, the odd sausage I have purloined when no one was looking at the shop before I set out, an occasional bone my mother supplies and on one or three occasions her favourite.....a whole hot sausage and bacon breakfast roll!!! ;o)

This habit has caused there to have to be a 'new line' on my van in an attempt not to turn her into a very fat dog and so now I always carry a selection (hidden of course from my employer) of various proper dog treats and biscuits....I even have low fat and low gluten versions to hand!

iTelly!

Wow...I don't have a television, I don't have easy access to a co-axial connection and so for the last 18 months I just haven't really watched any TV...until today, and the discovery of the new BBC service, 'iPlayer'.

Click the link, choose a show and that's it, the last seven days programming there on your computer....it's that simple, really, and it even worked without a hitch, first time.

Ok, so it's small but aside from that (famous last words) it seems faultless!

Maybe I'll catch up with Eastenders now, yes, I would prefer Corrie but the world is never quite perfect! ;o)

Yayyyy, I have television again!

Good news is no news!

Years ago I made a conscious decision not to watch, read or listen to the news any longer in any real depth, my reason, it was way too miserable, rarely was anything positive reported, it was all doom and gloom and I didn't need it in my life. Yes, I scanned the headlines and looked slightly further if any major story broke but that was it....I became a very definite 'news dunce'.

And then I started to drive the white van from hell for a living, this is not, as one would expect, an intellectually fulfilling occupation, eight hours a day behind the wheel with only intermittent small talk for entertainment, is not a mind occupying way of life by any one's standards so to alleviate the boredom I found myself listening to the news on the radio all day long.

This 'news thing' seems now to have become a small obsession, I wait with baited breath for the half hourly bulletins, I check interesting stories on my phone because I can't wait for the next bulletin to be broadcast, I read much of many of the newspapers I carry, I sit in Nero's after work and read the Times frequently and after reading my email, the BBC news page is probably my most frequently surfed web page these days, I can waste hours jumping from one story to another embroiled in numerous items of news!

I'm not sure if all this is a good thing or a bad thing. Ok, so perhaps I am better informed than I was and distracts me from the boredom of the white van but one thing certainly hasn't changed over the years.....very little cheerful or positive is ever reported, it's still all doom and gloom, probably now on an even greater scale than years ago when I decided on my 'news blackout', it's still depressing in the main, the political machinations still wind me up and I find myself huffing and puffing to myself frequently, at the stupidity of those charged with running this world we inhabit.

As they say 'good new is no news' in a world where sensationalism seems to prevail and it's damn hard on occasion to remember that for the most part human beings are nice things that behave reasonably!

But for all that I can't help but listen/watch/read the news day in and day out.....hell, somehow it's almost addictive.

Perhaps I'm just a glutton for punishment!


*************************************
N.B.

'ANDREX'....the piglet!

Talking of no good news....here is some! Ok, not on a world importance scale but hey, we have to be thankful for small (no pun intended) mercies! :o)



What I want to know though is how someone thought that was funny!

Pornography, another double standard!

Something has had me confused for a long time and I should warn you here that this is probably not gonna be a 'family friendly post', so if the whole subject of porn offends you close the page now please!

Pornography, that's what confuses me, not the question as to why it exists in such volume, that is obvious and you don't need me to spell it out to you but why it exists in such quantities for men but not for women!

And yes, I have looked and I suggest that most of us, if we are honest, have at least looked and if you are one of the woman who hasn't let me tell you, what is on offer is very limited and thereby hangs yet another double standard....apparently as in most things sexual, even in the 21st century, sex is fine if you are male but somehow not quite so fine if you are female. We women are still supposed to have a greater degree of chastity, coyness or some other emotionally retarded attitude to all things sexual. The media may suggest otherwise in part, but in practice the attitude that dictates that a guy who 'puts it about' is pretty cool and to be held in some esteem....the woman of course who dares do the same is to be vilified, ridiculed or at it basic level have derogatory names attached to her behaviour still exists.

This double standard has always confounded and annoyed me and it would appear that the pornography industry only serves to uphold such nonsense, I have no figures to support my theory but I would guess that of the millions of sites out there only a tiny, tiny fraction is aimed at women.

And here is another oddity, how many out there have heard the guys swapping addresses for their 'favourite sites'(nudge, nudge, wink wink), seen the emails flying at high velocity over the virtual ether or had an 'unexpected' pop up window appear.....but how many times have you seen the same going on among women?

Ok, so maybe I just live a sheltered life but I don't think so, I think my life has been particularly un-sheltered in fact but you just don't see this stuff going on with women....or at least not in such a general fashion as the guys manage.

I would of course draw a definite distinction here, I am talking about acceptable pornography and I mean by that the legal version, the illegal aspect is a completely different issue and one that needs addressing by the laws of the land with much alacrity.

Maybe the reason it doesn't exist in quantity is that women just don't have the interest that men do, or at least not in the numbers that make it economically viable, or maybe they would if it were there and the 'moral world' didn't still expect we women to be so sexually coy...... but what's the betting that if it were there, if the inequality didn't exist, you would at least take a sneaky look now and then.

The question that has always amused me is this: If the guys out there are getting all the action, and we women are considered (still!) to be morally corrupt, a slag, a whore, a tart or one of the other many 'pleasant' tags associated with femal sexual activity, or to be committing some other heinous crime by doing same.....who the hell are the guys getting the action with????!!!

Hmmmm. Confusing isn't it?.

*This post of course suggests no personal preferences on my part.....merely an interest in why the situation still prevails! ;o)

A new year bekons....

....and somehow that doesn't really fill me with joy or glad tidings! Was it supposed to?

The passing of 2007 is no bad thing in my book, or 2006 for that matter, I think I can say without fear of error that with the exception of one other, many moons ago, the last two years were probably the most difficult and challenging time in my life....and not ones that I have any wish, whatsoever, to repeat!

Yes, there were good times, a few, (should I break into song here?), I had some amazing holidays and got to visit something in the order of ten new countries, something I never thought I would get the chance to do, I got back into bikes after way too long a break, I discovered what I want in life (and what I don't) and I learned that it takes alot more to break me than I would ever have guessed...though sometimes it got pretty damn close, too damn close for comfort on occasion but thus far I made it!

I won't pretend that makes me proud, or a better person, or any of that crap, I'm a lightweight, growing through pain is not my idea of fun, I'd take the easy life option if it were an option, like most of us I suppose, but I got through it. Someone said to me recently that at it's basic level life is about survival....and I have survived, so perhaps on that level, whilst I have nothing to speak of in a material sense, I have succeeded in some small way in achieving something over the last year.

But life has to change some. I'm not one for the 'new year resolution' malarkey, I can fail quite well enough thankyouverymuch, without setting myself up unnecessarily but 2008 needs to see me brace myself again and face a few more demons and try to spend a little more time living and a bit less time just surviving.

Fingers crossed...... and no promises other than I will keep at it, though doubtless there will be more fences to fall at along the way but perhaps there will also be a few smiles too.

Let it snow!

Please, please let the B.B.C's weather forecast for my area tomorrow be correct and let it snow!

Tomorrow is my first full day back in the van from hell, today I only had to work two hours and if it were to snow for the first time this year, on my first day back, it might make it almost bearable! :o)

Sun, cereveza and Starbucks!

So what can I say about Seville....it's a beautiful city, with stunning architecture and a thoroughly relaxed atmosphere, don't take too seriously the guide books when they tell you crime is rife!


Yes, there is one area you would prefer not to visit about three miles outside of town but aside from that there was no evidence whatsoever of anything untoward. It's a city, they all have their bad patches but Seville seemed a whole lot less threatening than many....in fact it was completely un-threatening.

The trip got off to a slightly 'iffy' start, before we even made it to Gatwick I had a quite badly cut little toe, Fletch's glasses had disintegrated (no spares) and at passport control the 'powers that be' confiscated and destroyed a lighter I had bought him for Christmas, apparently gas lighters by the thousand are fine and dandy but a Zippo is not!


Consequently two slightly disgruntled travellers boarded the flight but the hassles were soon forgotten as holiday mode took over. We arrived in the mid evening (that's a whole five and a half hours without a smoke...be impressed!) and having found our hotel (ok, the cab driver found it) we set about finding some tapas and exploring the beautifully Christmas lit city....then fell into bed.

The following three days continued in the same vein, we walked for miles around the most wonderful Moorish architecture, among the brightest bouganvillia and trees
laden with ripe oranges, we visited the cathedral, the biggest in the world, we climbed it's bell tower to the most spectacular panoramic views, we spent a day in the


Real Alcazar, the royal palace, in part still used, marvelling again at the mixture of styles from Moorish to Baroc and enjoyed the warmth of the afternoon sun. We visited a bull ring, for me there was a large degree of reticence but on the understanding that there is no fighting at this time of year I took a look....and left feeling sad and with my 'anti' opinion only strengthened!


Seville in winter is not a place for sunbathing, the mornings and nights were pretty cold but by afternoon the seemingly permanently shining sun had warmed the air to the perfect temperature for relaxed wandering.....and partaking in the Spanish tradition of siesta!

The evenings centered around food and beer! I have to admit that tapas in probably not my favourite of delicacies but the constantly moving from one little bar to


another 'feeding' and drinking certainly had it's attractions and though our Spanish is seriously lacking we soon learned how to ask for a beer or coffee with some degree of ease. The discovery of a small bar with a very friendly 'mine host', who had spent six years in London and could do an excellent take off of the North London accent also helped somewhat! ;o)

And then it was home time again, another five cigarette-less hours to withstand but with a head full of happy memories as we took off, bound again for gatwick and the rain!


My greatest memories? Sunshine, cereveza (I, the woman who was tee-total for over twenty years managed to 'over-do' it on one occasion, Spanish bars seem not to issue forth alcohol in legal measures, preferring to just pour unendingly from the bottle,
and cause Fletch to have to undertake a degree of 'looking after' duties), the architecture of course and Starbucks.....for Starbucks seemed to have taken over just about every vacant unit in the city!

Can I go back now please?


(Images clickable, more soon)