'Champagne Charlie'

Having read THIS article in a newspaper during in an idle moment earlier today, I just had to check out 'Holly's Blog'....the blog of a pregnant donkey and now also that of her two week old white foal.

The 'awwwwwwww factor' is signifigant I promise you. Hey, you know me......I'm a sucker for anything with fur or feathers and less than eight legs!!

Meet 'Nora'.....

......the piano playing cat!



You gotta love it! ;o)

*Thanks KC for the link.

Perfectly pink!

You know when you see something that is just perfect, well this is it for me....the perfect bike jacket;

Of course, it's just perfect if you discount the fact it's completely impractical, didn't fit too well, is ridiculously expensive in comparison to more usual designs and doesn't have trousers to match........ though I could of course argue that it's very high visibility!

Hey....I said perfect, not sensible! ;o)

A vote of confidence

So, it was a typical bank holiday weekend again in so much as the heavens opened and any ideas of relaxing in the sun for the holiday could be forgotten. Last week of course we enjoyed almost uninterrupted sunshine and temperatures nearing 80 degrees but as ever it seems, one mention of an extra day off work and the rains come!

As luck would (n't) have it my holiday weekend was destined to be spent in large proportion on the road, almost 600 miles of road to be more specific and a large proportion of that riding pillion, so it was on with the elegant 'plastic bag' (somehow those waterproof suits don't carry with them the same kind of street cred that leathers do!) regalia and hit the road for hours in torrential rain.

Now there isn't much I know much about in this world but there are two things I know alot about, the first is cats (though I seem not to know enough about holding onto them recently) and the second is bikes. I haven't really ridden for years but I am a much experienced pillion, I've probably done way more miles on the back of a bike, in all 'genres' of riding, than I ever have in a car and I know only too well that to ride in conditions like yesterdays, of torrential rain, blinding spray and enough lying water to make aqua-planing on four wheels a problem let alone on two is a very tall order....and to sustain it for hours on end requires a high degree of concentration and not a little skill on the part of the rider.

But ride it we did, or rather Fletch did and pretty impressively....... there is one thing above all else that is required by a pillion and that is complete and utter trust in ones rider, without it it's a 'no go', because lets face it, far more so than in a four wheel vehicle, every time you get on the back of a high performance bike you relinquish responsibility for your life to the guy/gal on the front end........hey no pressure there Fletch ;o).

But this isn't about me but rather a big vote of confidence in the 'guy on the front' who rode with great skill and immense concentration under some very demanding conditions ....like I said, I don't know much but I do know bikes and you know your stuff my friend!

One year on

Today marks a year since I made the decision to leave Scotland, at times it seems like no time at all but at others it seems like a lifetime ago.

The day I left was a very difficult one for all of the obvious reasons but I think with the benefit of hindsight, whilst I anticipated my immediate future would be likely very hard, I didn't anticipate quite how hard it would be or just how many hurdles I would have to get over along the way.

I really didn't think for instance that I would have to declare myself bankrupt, I thought that ultimately I would find another way, I didn't imagine that a year on I would still be living with my parents and I certainly never anticipated the very worst of the problems I encountered.....that I would lose Tilly. But I did.

There were many things I didn't anticipate, some I have blogged about over the year, some I have not because they invade the privacy of others or are just too personal for even me to put out on the world wide web. There have been moments when I began to be live I wouldn't make it, there have been small triumphs, there has been many tears and dark times but there have been some truly amazing times too and maybe along the way I have learnt a little.

One thing I have learnt for sure is that it's when the crap hits the fan that you discover who in your life can truly be relied upon, regardless of how difficult things get and just how important those people are. I have had hammered home to me the value of the small things in life, of noticing the sunrise, the raindrops on a leaf, a rabbit running or the sight of a newborn calf laying in the grass. Without those small daily pleasures I think I might have gone mad at some times when all I seemed to do for weeks on end was worry about one thing or another.

Many, many things have surprised me but most of all what has surprised me is that I have made it through this far....whilst still maintaining some degree of sanity. I have climbed mountains I never thought I could and coped with situations, sometimes well and sometimes very badly, that had you asked me a year ago I wouldn't have thought I could deal with at all. But cope I did, one way or another.

It's not been a year that I would like to re-live but there have been some high points and some very special times and for those, and those who made them possible I am extremely grateful, as I am to all who stuck by me and helped drag me kicking and screaming this far.

Maybe along the way I have become stronger, I hope so even if it is only a little stronger and maybe with a modicum of luck the next year will be an improvement on the last.

So.....Thank you to my small band of staunch supporters, you know who you are but you will never know just how much I appreciate you.

Berlin baby

I only hope that the staff at the Berlin zoo where a mother elephant attempted to kill her newborn calf earlier this week keep a very close eye on her from now on!

She has form, she succeeded in killing her first two. :o(

More details and video HERE.

How sad

Remember my swan, the one on my daily delivery route that I watched painstakingly build a beautiful nest some weeks ago and then have watched daily sitting atop her eggs waiting patiently for them to hatch.....well sadly there don't seem to be any eggs! :o(

This amazing creature has sat there now for weeks in all weathers, without ever pottering off, waiting for her offspring to hatch. Her partner has dutifully helped with the nest building, bought her food and tended to her every need and then a few days ago I caught her standing up, stretching her legs momentarily and seemingly investigating in the bottom of her nest. I had a clear view and there were no eggs at all, not a one! Again today I managed to catch her standing for a moment and again I could see clearly....deffinately no eggs. I felt so sad for her.

I set about making enquiries among some of the people who work in the vicinity and discovered that exactly the same thing happened last year. The same pair of swans (they are numbered) nested in the same spot, he tended to her needs while she sat on the nest for weeks on end and finally they seemed to realise it was to no avail and gave up on the egg-less nest.

This years it has happened again. I don't know much about swans and their breeding habits and I don't seem to be able to find out if this is a common situation but every day when I see her now, still waiting patiently and getting less and less well kempt, as they do over the prolonged incubation period, I feel sad for her and hope that she will realise before too much longer that there are to be no swan-lets and go back to the water.

A test of nerve!

Daily, since I have been driving the white van from hell for a living, I have had to get through one nerve racking, mouth drying, hand trembling, shallow breathing moment each and every day.....and surprisingly it's not the sight of the merchandise I offer....though that at times wouldn't stand too close scrutiny!

No, it's a car dealership that I deliver too that presents the problem, or one specific problem.

The place in question is an Aston Martin dealership and by virtue of that there isn't a vehicle on sale in the entire place for less than approx. £40,000......

and many that carry a price tag way, way in excess of that. Add to that there are 'one off's', collectors models, classics, the whole she-bang, with values going up to almost £200,000.

Now this wouldn't ordinarily be a difficulty, save for some of the rather, shall we say, 'intolerant prima-donna' customers, who by virtue of their wealth expect to be treated as royalty but oft times don't seem to show even basic manners in return, the difficulty is the layout of the property.

There is one long drive into the rear of the place, just wide enough, at a push, to accommodate two vehicles, two small vehicles I might add, but for reasons of space one side is parked up nose to tail the full length with aforementioned very expensive cars, I can deal with that, driving in is tight but no problem.

What is a problem is getting out again!

There is nowhere to turn around at the bottom and nowhere else I can park up to sell my wares, the consequence being that I have to reverse out the 100 yards, in the van from hell, with only wing mirrors (no back window of course) and have at best maybe only two inches clearance at each side, one side of course would only result in my damaging the van against a brick wall, the other side....hell, I wouldn't like to even consider the insurance claim if I hit anything that side!!

And so I conclude, in seven months, in all weathers and despite some degree of nervousness, thus far not so much as one tiny casualty, dent or bump famous last words have I caused to man, beat, white van or very expensive cars....who said woman drivers are crap??

(Ok guys, you don't have to answer that one, it was rhetorical!!)

A view from a white van

There might be a great deal wrong with my current job but on the upside you don't get many sights like this in a city office block!



Phone camera again....sorry!

Congrats. 'Old Chap'

Well I think congratulations are in order for my old friend JW, he of 'Welcome To My World' fame, he who has loyally commented here over most of the last two years and more times than I could have expected was a listening ear and great source of support to me when times got tough

...but it is not for these things I wish to congratualte him (though they would be deserved)but for THIS, his new blog making it HERE, onto the front page of the Daily Telegraph online in no time at all!!!!

(*click the link at top of page that reads: Fascinating but repellent)

Wow! How impressed am I?

Biggest congrats. 'Old Chap' :o)

Tilly ~ an update

I received an email from Tilly's new 'mum' a day or two ago which I have to admit instilled in me some mixed feelings. Firstly I knew it had photographs attached (see below), the first I have seen of her since she left and I wasn't quite sure how I would feel looking at them, and secondly because it was quite apparent from text that 'madam' has settled extremely well. That in itself is nothing but excellent, I couldn't have wished for more for her, or for a better new home than this has turned out to be but the selfish part of me felt a little upset that she had settled so easily and transferred her affections so readily. Ok, so I know cats, I knew it was going to happen but it doesn't stop it putting my nose a little out of joint. I shall have words when I get to see her! ;o)

That said it would seem that for Tilly life is a very happy one, she has decided that of the three of them she will be (or at least attempt to be) boss cat, she has her own chair, it is forbidden of course for human or other feline to occupy said seat, she greets her new mum every morning for the top of the door and spends much of her day play fighting with 'Billy', her new sibling! She is still very much a character, still utterly mad, still loves to be cuddled (when it suits her of course), still purrs like a tractor and still finds any soft toy or blanket she can to drag around the house in her wake....size no object!

Scientology v. The Sweeny

Whilst THIS is perhaps not the most dignified manner for a professional journalist to conduct himself, in my humble opinion the apparently inimitable John Sweeny got the upper hand in tonights edition of Panorama.

This 'interview' has been much hyped over the last day or two and it's not beyond the bounds of possibility that the beeb gave it a helping hand once the clip was discovered on u-tube but, as one who had the misfortune, many years ago, to find herself the subject of interest by the Church of Scientology and was then subsequently harrassed by them for years, I applaude anything that can possibly cast the lot of them, yes that includes you Mr Travolta/Mr Cruise, in the dimmest of lights!

I'm sorry if I offend anyone but a cult 'religion' invented in the mind of a 50's science fiction writer of questionable mental stability, that requires it's followers to 'donate' a rather large percentage of their income to the 'church' and uses subliminal hypnosis and scare tactics to try and recruit vulnerable youngsters deserves all the bad publicity anyone can throw at it!.

I'm 3 today!

Heavens above, 'gemmak' is 3 years old today!

Sometimes it seems to have passed by quickly, other times it seems like a lifetime I have been faffing around here bending your ear with my own personal variety of life's up's and down's. Certainly there has been a fair amount of water go under this particular bridge in those three years, some of it good, some of it bad, sometimes I have loved it and at other times it has felt like a millstone around the proverbial neck!

I had no idea what to expect when I began this malarky and no real idea what I would blog about but somehow I've managed to regurgitate almost 1500 posts in that time, though the content of many of them probably leaves alot to be desired!

What I didn't expect was to make the good friends I have or the loyalty and help they have shown over the years (thank you, you know who you are), I didn't really even anticipate that anyone would read it and nor did I, by any stretch of the imagination, expect it to change my life, which indirectly it did.

So there you have it....three years of gemmak, the good the bad the ugly and the often disastrous........no more I hear you cry!

Eureka!

Well it's taken almost four years but finally the brakes on my car are almost fixed!

This has been a very ongoing problem, the car in general is a heap of cr*p, I bought it new and almost from the day the warranty expired bits began to disintegrate and fall off it, if I could possibly afford to change it for another I would but I can't and so I tolerate it's freaking annoying lack of quality 'quaint-ness' and count my blessings that I have at least got a car, given that the official receiver tried his damnedest to remove it from me last year!

So, the brakes: for years now they have been 'binding' causing the offside disc to heat up to a point beyond safety and requiring that I stop every 50 miles or so to let them cool off.....very convenient!

Numerous mechanics have tried but failed to diagnose and fix the problem but none could and as a consequence my braking system had been hung together in some form of working by various 'modifications', the main of which was to back the callipers off and hold the bolts in with loctite....hmmm, I know, not entirely satisfactory but it was the best anyone could do until now!

Finally I found a mechanic that really seems to know his stuff and noticed that the hub was very slightly bent, hence the binding. It had been bent it seems when a bearing was replaced 3 years ago by another mechanic but the less said about that the better (grrrr).

Of course one can't have just the hub replaced,that would be way too straightforward, one has instead to purchase and have fitted a whole new leg (how did I know it wasn't going to be cheap?) but at last today the job was done and at a relatively acceptable price. There is still more work to be undertaken, the gear box has 'issues' and one or two other things need attention but after years of driving along almost expecting my brakes to fail at a moments notice, I can heave a small sigh of relief safe now in the knowledge that if I hit the pedal it will actually connect with the brakes and will then disconnect again when I remove my foot from said pedal!

Er.....famous last words?

Back where I started?

Isn't it odd how the mind works at times...ok, 'odd' may not be quite the word I'm looking for here, perhaps peculiar or annoying would be more suitable words but which ever it is, I don't much like it!

It's almost six weeks since Tilly went to her new home and in a kind of perverse way I had been quite proud of myself for how I had coped. The first week or so was hellish, I missed her terribly but gradually I got slightly more used

to her absence. I thought of her still often every day, I checked my mail avidly for news of how she was doing but the sadness lessened a little to a more manageable level.

As the weeks went on the feeling progressed slightly further in a positive manner, I could even see benefits (if I looked really hard) for her in her new lifestyle and for me in one or two practical aspects, though there was never a moment I wouldn't have jumped at the chance to have her back with me had it been possible. I had even managed to look at a few photographs of her and smile as opposed to feeling sad and was considering I might soon be able to cope with visiting her without falling to bits.

And so I thought I was over the worst, onward and upward and all that....and then yesterday happened and for no reason I can fathom it all came rushing back, suddenly out of the blue I missed her dreadfully again, I had nightmares about her for the minimal part of the night I slept at all and then today it feels like I'm back at the start again.....I even found myself driving along a busy 'A' road yesterday afternoon with tears streaming unstoppably down my silly red face at just the thought of her.

Goddamn it....I thought I had a handle on this and it appears I haven't at all, I have no idea why, maybe I'm feeling a little more fragile than usual, maybe this 'up and down' pattern is normal or maybe I'm just 'hormonal' but whatever is it's cause one thing is for sure...I miss her little furry cat-ness terribly again right now.

:o(

Losing the edge!

Call it age, call it a degree of common sense creeping into my psyche rather late on or call it 'losing the edge', whatever it is came as quite a shock to me!

Fletch, he who is lucky enough to have me bringing up the rear is generous enough to allow me to ride pillion oft times, has another new bike (yes, it's a man thing, one is never enough) .
and this bank holiday weekend was a more than suitable time for 'test riding'

'Test riding' commenced on Friday evening and was completed late yesterday (nothing obsessive there I hear you think!) and what I discovered somewhat disappointingly about myself is that I have definitely lost my 'edge'.

A large proportion of my entire adult lifetime has been spent on two wheels held together by a significantly sized engine, I have always loved it, it's something that either gets under your skin or it doesn't.... but once it has it never goes.

In my long gone and not so distant past I was happy to take the risks, loved the rush that motorbike madness provided and was happy to travel at speeds well in excess of %$£*#% mph (nope, I don't dare be any more specific than thaT), grind a knee slider along the tarmac or go the distance on only the back wheel.....I hasten to add that my penchant has been for doing this stuff as a pillion not the rider, I am way to small to have any control over anything worth riding and so I concentrated on becoming the ideal, unnoticeable pillion. I loved the rush, I loved the excitement, maybe even the fear.

But all that has changed, age or common sense has taken over and while Fletch was 'testing' his new machine's capabilities with me parked on the back (as one must to some degree just the once) I found, much to my dismay that I was nervous, that images of what might happen should it all go horribly wrong filled a small corner of my mind and what used to give me a buzz didn't any longer have quite the same effect!

Perhaps it's age, perhaps it's a degree less stupidity or perhaps it's just that these days I'm used to the much more sensible/stay alive riding style that Fletch usually adopts.... but whatever it is I think my days of head down and ar*e up tearing up the tarmac are over, I have definitely lost my edge where all that's concerned...... and probably it's a good thing!

Cat adopts newborn chicks!

This video link from the BBC is a must.

Amazing..... and with a very big cute factor!

Captive!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to convince them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

I knew I hated the dentist!

And today has only confirmed it!

Today, motivated by pain as opposed to bravery, I was forced to into the dreaded dentists chair for a check up. Last time I was in this position, the one where your head is nearing the floor, your feet are somewhere you have lost track of and your head is seemingly held fast by some invisible brace, it was for an extraction. That had not helped my feeling of anxiety for future visits though in defence of the dentist on that occasion, he was fabulously understanding and gentle.

Today's sadistic b*astard 'minister of oral care' it would seem, is very much opposed to we evil smokers and appeared to do his level best to cause me pain and scare the living daylights out of me!

Now, I accept that smoking is a major contritutary factor to my current dental problems, though even the dental fraternity were unaware of the impact of smoking on peridontal desease until approx. 15 years ago.

As a lay man I think I can be excused for not knowing this information until recently, particularly given that I was unable to be seen by a dentist at all, courtesy of the lack of NHS practitioners, for about half of that 15 year period! I fail therefor to see how poking things into my gums until I shrieked or telling me horrendously frightening stories was designed to help someone like myself' who already has problems with anxiety just trying to make it into the chair. Perhaps I should have encouraged him to scan my notes briefly before he set about scaring me so witless with only the result that I am much more likely never to darken a dentists door again.

The last guy helped me begin to feel I could deal with dentistry, this guy has firmly set me back but it seems I cannot have 'Mr nice dentist' complete the work that 'Mr scary dentist' has begun.

So the upshot of all of this is that smoking has caused my gums to recede badly, hence my otherwise (mostly) healthy teeth keep working loose and having to be removed. The prognosis is not encouraging, I think it unlikely I will see old age with my own teeth unless, and this is the million dollar question, I can quit smoking. Even if I do the damage is not reversible but it will at least not get signifigantly worse with a little luck.

I need two big fillings and one, maybe two extracted and not only am I miffed yet again with myself for ever starting smoking but I am also wondering just how I am going to pluck up the wearwithall to get my body back into the chair so it can be done.

This is not good, I am not a happy bunny right now...I knew I hated the dentist, as a profession I hasten to add, not the individuals, save for today's terrorist.

I wonder.....just what did he think he would achieve by treating me as he did when on the top of my notes in big red letters it states 'severe dental anxiety'??!!!

Seems somewhat counter-productive to me.