Ann Summers, a handsome stranger and the demise of cool!

I am, as anyone who knows me personally will testify, not easily embarrassed, I'm pretty up-front and very little offends or fazes me....yesterday however I got my comeuppance and my very own 'Carry On' moment!

This is one of those occasional posts that I have to make an effort to word very carefully, something else that doesn't come naturally but here goes....

So 'N' and I were indulging in a little retail therapy yesterday afternoon and whilst he went off to purchase something mundane I decided to patronise the local purveyor of a well known store of let's say 'intimate' goods, Anne Summers, for educational purposes only of course.

I was happily perusing one particular shelf when a rather handsome man appeared next to me, I had a vague feeling I knew him but dismissed it and carried on about my business. A minute or two later he turned to me and said 'I think we know each other'......

It was at this point I was suddenly painfully aware that I had in my hand an item offered for sale which was vibrating wildly and which I appeared not to be able to turn off....dammit.

A short conversation ensued about where we might know one another from and all the time I was still starkly aware that I was having this conversation with a handsome stranger with the aforementioned item still in my hand and still failing to turn off! I tried to put it down on the shelf but it just bounced merrily and loudly and I had to retrieve it again and ask a sales assistant to turn it off for me!

Jeez....my usually cool, unembarrassed exterior was fast disappearing but trying to keep it together I stupidly picked up another item of similar 'genre' pretending to be completely at ease in the company of this stranger and telling myself we were both adults and there was nothing to be uncomfortable about. Who was I trying to kid?!

It was at this point, when in my state of fluster, my unknown companion declared he remembered where we knew one another from and that we both regularly frequent my local branch of Caffe Nero, that the whole situation deteriorated spectacularly.

In my surprise I very un-cooly dropped the item I was holding onto the hard slick floor with a very audible thud causing other customers to turn and look.....on impact it turned itself on, 'danced' manically across the floor for what seemed like forever and then fell apart.

The demise of my cool was complete and utter as I watched the offending item bounce around the floor while I scrabbled after it trying to retrieve it and make my apologies to the staff for the damage.

My handsome cohort was trying his best, but not succeeding, to politely not laugh too obviously while I tried desperately to ignore the very definite feeling of embarrassed perspiration trickling down my back and to gather my wits and scuttle out of the place with a tiny degree of dignity intact.

I suspect I failed dismally!

.....and the thought that I will likely run into this guy again in Caffe Nero is not lost on me. my fall from cool grace will be complete!

Sexual stupidity!

My apologies if this offends anyone but I just couldn't resist, it's just so completely unbelievable and whilst such stupidity shouldn't be remotely funny, somehow it is!

The link is flaky, hence the screen shot, click to enlarge.

The thing about sex

So then, the whole sex thing, why does it have to be such a minefield or in some cases almost a battlefield? The last year has taught me something I already knew but hadn't had to deal with for quite some time, that unless one is prepared to have casual sex with just about anyone the average date is going to become something of a physical obstacle course and trying to get to know someone whilst always on the back foot, isn't very conducive to anything, sexually or otherwise!

Guys nowadays aren't generally big on commitment of any kind, our dating game has become like I read it always has been for years in the U.S., one has a series of dates with various people, rather than 'in my day' (hell I sound old) we tended to see one guy at a time. I am happy to do either but I just can't get my head around seeing a series of guys maybe just once or twice and having sex with them all! It's just not going to happen but it appears to be a very difficult path to tread. Guys just don't appear to accept it and to be fair nor do many women and I don't think it's specific to the men I have met because the more I discuss it and the more I read the more it seems it is the norm.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much as the next person and I have always believed it is a natural, fun and lovely thing that we shouldn't have too many hang-ups about hopefully. I don't have strong moral issues on the subject and I certainly don't have religious issues but I do have self respect and emotion and I am just not going to date three guys in a week and shag (I choose the word purposely)them all.

I understand that the harsh reality is that the world turns on money and sex, I hope I am far from a prude and I hope I am realistic. I don't expect a guy to marry me or even date me for months on end before he tries to get messy, but longer than one evening would be kind of nice and a little respectful!

Maybe in part it is our own fault, in the fight for equality we have given the impression that we are 'up for it' or the ladette culture has perhaps lost women some respect from the male of the species. I appreciate guys now don't really know where they are sometimes with women, and I understand the Venus and Mars principle but really, there is nothing to prove. I'm not interested in a mans sexual prowess first, I'm interested in the man...if he's cool then the prowess is a natural progression and all the better for it.

Call me old fashioned, call me naive if you will though I believe I am far from either.... but if I wanted to fornicate with every Tom, Dick (pun intended) or Harry that came my way I wouldn't be unemployed and penniless now would I!