Whoopie bloody do!

Yup, that about sums up my day...'whoopie bloody do' indeed, a fiasco from start to finish. HM and yer man might have had something to celebrate but I certainly didn't!

Let me explain.

It started at 4.30 this morning with a 100 mile drive from Cambridge to hit work for 06.30. The weather was appalling, torrential rain and winds of apparently almighty strength. I was on two hours sleep, with something odd going on in my head (no, not the usual madness, I keep suffering some strange momentary giddiness)trying to vie for position on the already overly busy M25 with what felt like most of the U.K's articulated heavy transport (no one else is daft enough to be out there at that ungodly hour). Visibility was almost non existent and why in the name of idiocy do HGV drivers insist on driving their tonnage within an inch of my boot??!! FFS, if I came to a shuddering halt unexpectedly I doubt the traffic police would find much of me and my little car left!

But I made it...only two minutes late, phew, and it was on with my day.

There was no improvement. I was soaked through courtesy of the incessant rain, within half and hour of hitting the road again, this time in the white van from hell, I had gained a steaming headache (and yes, to those of you who have nagged shown concern over my recent health I have a doctors appointment tomorrow) and an already painful shoulder was giving me more gip than usual. My phone had seemingly given up on it's endeavours to send email and every customer I encountered was grumpy...even by Monday morning standards.

But there was more. My favoured 'coffee stop', the one that gets me through the second half of my day, was closed for a refurb.....that I didn't notice until I had sailed in through the doors to be greeted by a group of workmen, my subsequent detour to the nearest 'Costa' took 10 minutes longer than anticipated and rendered me late for the rest of the day......

....and then next I got nicked for speeding!!!! Approx 34 in a 30!! I got done for speeding once before in my life....35 in a 30, Jesus! Why do I never get caught on a fast bike? Ok, probably best I don't tempt fate on that one! Yeah, I know, 'fair cop guv' and all that, but why oh why did I not realise why the oncoming traffic was flashing me so vociferously and why oh why did I not notice that the white van, secreted halfway behind a hedge, had a lens shining out prettily from a sneaky little window?!! Dippy bitch!

One might think it ended there....but one would be wrong, next I discovered a CV joint on my car has disintegrated....more money, damn car has only been out of the garage for a few days and that was something in the region of it's 8th visit this year alone.

Enough is enough, I've got the hump, I'm off to bed before anything else can fall apart on me, fall on me, fall over me, etc. etc. etc.

Ack...a freaking speeding ticket....whoopie bloody do! Anyone got a spare £60? Oh....and another for the insurance hike....and a good answer for my boss when the ticket lands in his mail.

*Not checked for spelling or punctuation....too miffed to care!