The tale of Prince Albert!

So, probably the last tale from the white van is of an 'incident' on Thursday morning.

When I first applied for the job they went to great pains to ask me to convince them that I could cope with my particular 'clientele'....the previous four women who had undertaken the job had shot through in a matter of weeks, or less.

Selling sandwiches from a van might not seem a particularly concerning occupation on the face of it but the round I did was in the main to building sites, factories and brick works. All my customers, with the exception of two, were men, and oft times men with little or no finesse, absolutely no idea what political correctness is and even less understanding of the meaning of the phrase sexual harassment!

As a consequence I ran the gamut daily of crass jokes, innuendo and outright suggestion but whilst they knew pretty quickly that I was 'up for a laugh' and perfectly capable of being one of the lads, they also learned just as quickly that there were boundaries which they weren't gonna be allowed to cross. In short they could say what they wanted but touching was out. Hell, if you had ever seen me at 6 in the morning in my very 'non- haute couture' uniform I can only say that those that tried must have been somewhat desperate!

There was one guy in particular. I was used to him, kinda felt sad for him, his life had been a tale of horrendous happenings that had culminated in a serious head injury as the result of an RTA. He had a big alcohol problem and he was volatile to put it mildly, though in an odd way he seemed to think I was his friend, maybe because I listened to him talk of his troubles often.

On Thursday, as usual, he came telling me his latest tale of woe. Apparently last weekend he had the not very bright idea that to have a Prince Albert piercing might be a cool idea, ok he was probably so drunk he would barely have noticed it being done but subsequently it seems it had become infected.

I tried without laughing to sound concerned and offer suggestions as to what he might do about it....like go to the bloody doctor, but he was not convinced and without a byyourleave or an excuseme proceeded to show me the 'offending item'!!

Oh lovely!....I have encountered more pleasant experiences and sights before breakfast in my time but he looked a little confused at my comment that maybe I wasn't the best person to be showing this too and the idea that it might be just a little inappropriate was completely lost on him!!!