What can I say, we spent all day and evening together, all seemed fantastic, we talked and laughed all day....and then he text me this morning to say he doesn't want to see me again!!
The reason? I smoke. He knew that already. Ick.
Nothing more to say then. One thing is for sure, much as I would like to be able to give up I can't be in a relationship that depends on it, I can't promise something I can't guarantee to deliver and maybe I can't be in a relationship where there is so little tolerance or discussion!
But nonetheless I'm a bit sad, he was a really nice guy, I don't like this feeling but I'm beginning to get used to it....frogs and all that.
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Friday, 7 May 2010
I GOT IT!
Today, unusually for me these days, is worthy of two posts, the reason....
finally, amazingly, utterly surprisingly I am at last gainfully employed!! Yayyyyy!!!
Will wonders never cease?!
And so the amusing bit I referred to in a recent post...this job is a repeat of the last one, another white van from hell (yes really) only this time hopefully just the white van minus at least some of the 'hell' aspect.
Again I will be delivering lunch time delicacies to many and various, though this time it's white collar as opposed to building sites, it's some distance from home and the employer is not only a much more professional outfit than the last bunch of cowboys but they are also their direct competition which adds a little interest!
Ok, so not much of a job but it's a job, it's not quite full time but it has potential and if today's trial is anything to go by they are a nice group of people....again unlike the last lot.
So that's it, I have a job, it's a starting point and it gives me back a little of my self respect if nothing else.
Oh....and tomorrow is date number two with the new guy!
Things are hopefully beginning to change.....
finally, amazingly, utterly surprisingly I am at last gainfully employed!! Yayyyyy!!!
Will wonders never cease?!
And so the amusing bit I referred to in a recent post...this job is a repeat of the last one, another white van from hell (yes really) only this time hopefully just the white van minus at least some of the 'hell' aspect.
Again I will be delivering lunch time delicacies to many and various, though this time it's white collar as opposed to building sites, it's some distance from home and the employer is not only a much more professional outfit than the last bunch of cowboys but they are also their direct competition which adds a little interest!
Ok, so not much of a job but it's a job, it's not quite full time but it has potential and if today's trial is anything to go by they are a nice group of people....again unlike the last lot.
So that's it, I have a job, it's a starting point and it gives me back a little of my self respect if nothing else.
Oh....and tomorrow is date number two with the new guy!
Things are hopefully beginning to change.....
The job thing!
Well then, I went for the interview on Wednesday as planned and it went particularly well, remarkably well in fact even if I do say so myself.... and today I will join my prospective new boss for the day to shadow him, and for the both of us to see how it works out.
More than that I don't know at this stage, I haven't been offered the job as such yet but I am, let's say, cautiously optimistic.
I won't tell you what, when, where, how etc. at this stage,that might be tempting fate, if I get it I will divulge all then. It's not a fantastic job by any stretch of the imagination but it does have an ironically amusing aspect to it!
So....that's it, today at least, I am off to work for the day, it all feels pretty strange after so long and somewhat nerve-wracking but hey.....my nerves have been wracked before one way and another recently, this is not a new phenomenon....... ;)
More than that I don't know at this stage, I haven't been offered the job as such yet but I am, let's say, cautiously optimistic.
I won't tell you what, when, where, how etc. at this stage,that might be tempting fate, if I get it I will divulge all then. It's not a fantastic job by any stretch of the imagination but it does have an ironically amusing aspect to it!
So....that's it, today at least, I am off to work for the day, it all feels pretty strange after so long and somewhat nerve-wracking but hey.....my nerves have been wracked before one way and another recently, this is not a new phenomenon....... ;)
Thursday, 6 May 2010
I won, I won, I won!!
Well...there's a turn up, I have won something, I don't usually win stuff, in fact I'm not sure I have ever won stuff before but today I have!!What have I won? I have won 'The laughing Chimp Award', Urbanvox's recent blog competition to blog 'My most embarrassing incident ever'.
Apparently mine was suitably embarrassing to take top spot, it felt it at the time I have to admit but when I was lying there in hospital undergoing the embarrassing procedure[s] necessary I don't think I ever envisaged it would win me a prize!
Somehow it seems rather fitting does it not! ;)
The post can be found by scrolling down a little or HERE.
Anyways, thankyou Mr Vox and your judges, you made my day!
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
The crap car, the date and an interview!
Tired, late night, this will be short and to the point;
The car pulled in an MOT fail but thankfully not too bad a fail. The bits that required fixing to limp it through a retest have been done and later today I should secure the much needed pass certificate.
The date was unusually successful, a good time was had, more if progress is made, let's face it, we have been this far before!
....and suddenly I have an interview today, more on that if it works out. This time I think I am maybe in with more chance but the situation is pretty amusing, again, more another time!
The car pulled in an MOT fail but thankfully not too bad a fail. The bits that required fixing to limp it through a retest have been done and later today I should secure the much needed pass certificate.
The date was unusually successful, a good time was had, more if progress is made, let's face it, we have been this far before!
....and suddenly I have an interview today, more on that if it works out. This time I think I am maybe in with more chance but the situation is pretty amusing, again, more another time!
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Car karma?
At eight o'clock this morning the crap car is due to undergo it's annual and very scary MOT test. The test itself of course is not scary but the outcome very well might be...very scary indeed.
Add to that I have a much looked forward to date tonight, which requires I drive an approximate one hundred mile round trip.....you see my immediate dilemma should the stamp on the oh so important piece of paper carry the heinous 'FAIL' word!
I am on pins waiting and hoping that this is where my luck chooses to change!
Any good car karma is more than welcome to be sent my way ;)
Add to that I have a much looked forward to date tonight, which requires I drive an approximate one hundred mile round trip.....you see my immediate dilemma should the stamp on the oh so important piece of paper carry the heinous 'FAIL' word!
I am on pins waiting and hoping that this is where my luck chooses to change!
Any good car karma is more than welcome to be sent my way ;)
Sunday, 2 May 2010
Frustration!
'gemmak', or at least gemmak the blog will be six years old in a week or two's time but more recently this little space on the internet has become more and more frustrating for me. Not because I can't think of anything to write, precisely the reverse, I can think of much I would like to say, but I can't!
As time has marched on gemmak has undergone some degree of 'outing', as many blog/bloggers have. Some of this gradual erosion of anonymity is the result of my own sometimes slightly too complacent attitude and some as the result of other circumstances.
When I began I didn't have any real idea why I was blogging or what I hoped I would gain from it, to be honest I didn't imagine anyone would read it or that I would sustain it for long but as the years passed and life 'did it's thing' I found I was using blogging, to some degree at least in a quite cathartic way. Psychology has long recognised that writing things down when the going gets tough can be helpful and for me blogging has the same effect, though in a stronger sense. I can't define why that is, I don't know if it because blogging provides feedback and support, because I have maybe a narcissistic streak, because just writing certain experiences in itself helps to clarify the mind or whether it's a little bit of all of those things. Whichever or whatever it is cathartic and on occasion I suspect being able to 'out it out there' (whatever 'it' may be) has probably helped save my sometimes questionable sanity.
So why the frustration? Well, as my anonymity has gradually been lost I am less and less able to put into the public domain certain aspects of my life. I sit here frequently itching to type about some particular issue or event and just can't, either to protect the privacy of others involved or because I am aware that what I want to say risks offending or upsetting some who read. It frustrates the hell out of me.
I have looked into moving the whole blog (much too big a job given the number of posts and images) to a platform that allows protected posts, I have considered just ditching this and starting over (but the narcissistic bit of me can't bear to lose all this now) and I have considered linking certain posts to another private blog or passworded account. None of those options seem to be quite suitable for one reason or another unfortunately and so I remain frustrated with my finger ends poised to type, feeling somewhat gagged and wondering why the hell Blogger can't or doesn't offer the protected post option.
Answers on a postcard (or comment) please!
As time has marched on gemmak has undergone some degree of 'outing', as many blog/bloggers have. Some of this gradual erosion of anonymity is the result of my own sometimes slightly too complacent attitude and some as the result of other circumstances.
When I began I didn't have any real idea why I was blogging or what I hoped I would gain from it, to be honest I didn't imagine anyone would read it or that I would sustain it for long but as the years passed and life 'did it's thing' I found I was using blogging, to some degree at least in a quite cathartic way. Psychology has long recognised that writing things down when the going gets tough can be helpful and for me blogging has the same effect, though in a stronger sense. I can't define why that is, I don't know if it because blogging provides feedback and support, because I have maybe a narcissistic streak, because just writing certain experiences in itself helps to clarify the mind or whether it's a little bit of all of those things. Whichever or whatever it is cathartic and on occasion I suspect being able to 'out it out there' (whatever 'it' may be) has probably helped save my sometimes questionable sanity.
So why the frustration? Well, as my anonymity has gradually been lost I am less and less able to put into the public domain certain aspects of my life. I sit here frequently itching to type about some particular issue or event and just can't, either to protect the privacy of others involved or because I am aware that what I want to say risks offending or upsetting some who read. It frustrates the hell out of me.
I have looked into moving the whole blog (much too big a job given the number of posts and images) to a platform that allows protected posts, I have considered just ditching this and starting over (but the narcissistic bit of me can't bear to lose all this now) and I have considered linking certain posts to another private blog or passworded account. None of those options seem to be quite suitable for one reason or another unfortunately and so I remain frustrated with my finger ends poised to type, feeling somewhat gagged and wondering why the hell Blogger can't or doesn't offer the protected post option.
Answers on a postcard (or comment) please!
Saturday, 1 May 2010
Friday, 30 April 2010
My most embarrassing incident ever!
There are some things that perhaps for our own dignity we should never share but also, as one rarely able to resist a challenge we have to break that rule, or I do at least!The challenge in this case comes from a competition launched by Urbanvox, to blog 'your most embarrassing incident ever'. I don't embarrass easily so stories in this vein are few and far between but there is one which instantly comes to mind, which perhaps not for the reasons one might imagine, managed to have me curling up inside and wishing the ground would open up beneath me very quickly...so here goes, I will do my very best to word this appropriately but be warned, it's content is adult in nature and maybe not for the faint of heart.
Embarrassing incident - Part 1.
It began as what should have been, and for the most part was, a very pleasant evening, the specifics of when, where and who I won't share to protect the innocent but the scenario was an evening with a very nice man, pretty early on in the relationship, early enough that what followed was far from ideal!
So, for the incident to begin let's just say that late on in the evening things became a little 'heated' and the physical aspect of this date became shall we say fulfilled. It was at this point, after it was too late, that I suddenly remembered with some degree of horror, that I was er....wearing internal feminine protection! No, before you ask, neither of us noticed, I don't know why or how but we didn't, but oh how I wish that we had!
I made light of the situation (as you do) and in the wee small hours went home to what I can only describe as a fraught hour or two of 'fishing and ferreting' in vain and desperately more frantic attempts to retrieve the offending item. It was a complete 'fail'. I trawled the internet for information on my problem and I tried all the recommended tricks but still to no avail, I couldn't even locate it the damn thing!
Now I know enough about physiology to know it couldn't get 'lost' but the (albeit rare) possibility of TSS had to be considered, so eventually I fell into bed and decided I would address the whole debacle again when I woke up.
Embarrassing incident - Part 2.
Sunday morning dawned and I decided I had no option but to attend my local A&E department...who found the entire story highly amusing and thanked me for brightening their Sunday morning! Thanks guys, I'm glad to be of service! My situation of course is not too unusual in A&E circles but the specifics of my physiological case (don't read too much into that, I have a tilted womb, for the ladies who have one you know the issues, ok, TMI maybe) meant that what should have been a simple procedure became almost an hour of the 'legs in stirrups thing', while various doctors peered and poked with various versions of forcept! This was not a fun experience but finally the job was done and I shuffled off home feeling a little battle scarred.
The finale.
Now, all that might be pretty embarrassing for many but like I said, I'm not easily given to embarrassment so thus far in this tale I had mostly seen the funny, if slight panic stricken side, the final part however was the really dire bit.
I arrived home to be met by my concerned parents. I had already managed to explain reasonably discreetly to my mother why I was making a quick dash to A&E but had spared my father the information, he was never good at that stuff but on my arrival he insisted on being told 'what was up'! Jeez.
My mother and myself tried as best we could to find a way to tell him I was fine and he didn't need to know more detail but he just wasn't having it..... and believe me when I say, being reduced to standing in front of one's father, who was himself mortally uncomfortable talking about such things, trying to explain the specifics of my previous 18 hours, has to be the most embarrassing incident of my life! By comparison the rest was a walk in the park!!!
Thursday, 29 April 2010
Internet dating - The mistakes we make!
I'm probably breaching copyright here but this article from The Telegraph was sent to me by a friend and had me in stitches. For any of you who might have been daft enough to get involved in all of this some of it will be probably painfully resonant of past experiences ...for everyone else it's just damn funny!
Where women go wrong;
# They talk about cats, self-help books and soap operas; to men, this is dull and may indicate the beginnings of insanity.
# They talk about past relationships; the ultimate turn-off.
# They dress either dress too sluttily, or turn up disguised as Margaret Thatcher.
# They boast about their highly paid jobs and salaries; this can make less well-paid men feel small, helpless and angry.
# They get drunk and emotional.
# They sometimes expect sex on the first date, which can leave men feeling ‘used’.
# They talk about marriage, families and babies precipitously; men like to feel that marriage is their idea, even if it is plainly not.
# They give mixed messages; if you like a man, say do, if you don’t, politely disappear.
and where men go wrong;
# They lie on their profiles. About everything: height, ‘hair situation’, age, marital status, children...
# If you’re overweight and 60-years-old don’t expect a warm response form a 23-year-old woman looking for a ‘a sporty man aged 22 to 35’
# They can’t spell: “Hi Cuttie, how r ya?”
# They are too pushy: They don’t think that most women prefer to get to know the man a little (email/ phone etc) before they meet a complete stranger.
# They use sexual innuendo: e.g. to girl who likes fishing: “Will you hold my rod?”
# They don’t always bother with innuendo: “I want you now sexy”
# They confuse dating with getting laid.
# They are shy. A bit shy is cute, too shy is weird.
The full article is HERE.
Where women go wrong;
# They talk about cats, self-help books and soap operas; to men, this is dull and may indicate the beginnings of insanity.
# They talk about past relationships; the ultimate turn-off.
# They dress either dress too sluttily, or turn up disguised as Margaret Thatcher.
# They boast about their highly paid jobs and salaries; this can make less well-paid men feel small, helpless and angry.
# They get drunk and emotional.
# They sometimes expect sex on the first date, which can leave men feeling ‘used’.
# They talk about marriage, families and babies precipitously; men like to feel that marriage is their idea, even if it is plainly not.
# They give mixed messages; if you like a man, say do, if you don’t, politely disappear.
and where men go wrong;
# They lie on their profiles. About everything: height, ‘hair situation’, age, marital status, children...
# If you’re overweight and 60-years-old don’t expect a warm response form a 23-year-old woman looking for a ‘a sporty man aged 22 to 35’
# They can’t spell: “Hi Cuttie, how r ya?”
# They are too pushy: They don’t think that most women prefer to get to know the man a little (email/ phone etc) before they meet a complete stranger.
# They use sexual innuendo: e.g. to girl who likes fishing: “Will you hold my rod?”
# They don’t always bother with innuendo: “I want you now sexy”
# They confuse dating with getting laid.
# They are shy. A bit shy is cute, too shy is weird.
The full article is HERE.
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
Ms. Not So Savvy!
So, Ms. 'thought she was pretty internet savvy' here has made a glaringly fundamental mistake!
This blog began with the intention of being anonymous and for the most part, over almost six years, I have achieved that. There has of course been one or two 'glitches' but nothing major and I was pretty convinced that I had secured it well enough that strangers couldn't find it and associate it with me, the real person.
WRONG!
It transpired yesterday that someone I had met online only the day before, managed to find 'gemmak'....and more worryingly, he did it very easily, dammit! I had overlooked one thing (that I am aware of!). Well to be more specific I hadn't overlooked it, I had considered it and thought it highly unlikely anyone would go that route.
Wrong again!
As it happens in this case (if you read this you know who you are and I should thank you for making me aware!)it doesn't actually matter and there's no real issue other than my embarrassment but given my recent stalker episode it does concern me. I have however now 'plugged the hole' so it will be much harder for anyone to go the same route in the future but it has made me think again about the fact that over the years I have got a little complacent and that I must sharpen up my act.
Incidentally, for obvious reasons I won't advertise the 'loophole' here but if you want to know for the preservation of your own anonymity, just drop me a line or a comment.
Ms. Not so bloody savvy eh? Duh!
This blog began with the intention of being anonymous and for the most part, over almost six years, I have achieved that. There has of course been one or two 'glitches' but nothing major and I was pretty convinced that I had secured it well enough that strangers couldn't find it and associate it with me, the real person.
WRONG!
It transpired yesterday that someone I had met online only the day before, managed to find 'gemmak'....and more worryingly, he did it very easily, dammit! I had overlooked one thing (that I am aware of!). Well to be more specific I hadn't overlooked it, I had considered it and thought it highly unlikely anyone would go that route.
Wrong again!
As it happens in this case (if you read this you know who you are and I should thank you for making me aware!)it doesn't actually matter and there's no real issue other than my embarrassment but given my recent stalker episode it does concern me. I have however now 'plugged the hole' so it will be much harder for anyone to go the same route in the future but it has made me think again about the fact that over the years I have got a little complacent and that I must sharpen up my act.
Incidentally, for obvious reasons I won't advertise the 'loophole' here but if you want to know for the preservation of your own anonymity, just drop me a line or a comment.
Ms. Not so bloody savvy eh? Duh!
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Saturday, 24 April 2010
Short dog day!
Today I have sole charge of 'Short Dog' aka 'Alfie', my brothers absolutely yummy canine. The reason for his nickname is obvious... don't mock the afflicted, I know how he feels and don't be fooled by those legs, he can walk/run almost forever, I am in for a day of somewhat 'brisk' exercise I suspect...though he also has a penchant for snuggling up next to me in bed and dog chilling!This promises to be a good day, sunshine, company, walking and very probably ice cream, well it would be very unkind not to treat him, would it not?!
Right then...I'm off, I have lead, treats and those nasty but necessary little bags in hand and I intend spending the day happily being dragged hither and thither! :)
Friday, 23 April 2010
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