'Reach' by Luke Randall

This is so fab but so sad!

From The short film corner, Cannes 2009. Details here.

One year on - Kicking cancer

Those of you who visit here loyally and regularly will recall perhaps this post a while back documenting the ongoing recovery of 'TP' from a rarely survivable form of cancer.

Well, it's been a year since he underwent very major surgery to begin the process of attempting to eradicate those particularly nasty little cells from where they had decided to set up home!

It's been a year of very significant ups and downs, of hospital visits so numerable that one almost requires a P.A. to keep a track of them all to ensure attendance at the appropriate time, of so many meds we have to have charts to keep track, of disruption and sleepless nights...and of course my being royally dumped in the middle of it all just to add to everyone's stresses and upset (nice timing!) but thus far it has all paid off pretty impressively. There's still a way to go, TP has to undergo one more small surgery next week and the original surgery has quite some impact on lifestyle but much has been achieved in the year since it all began.

What prompted this post? Well, we attended The Churchill Hospital in Oxford (don't mention the parking issues!)on Friday for the first of the 'one year' checks and TP passed with flying colours, there are more to come of course, the most scary of which is the one year scan in a month or two, but so far so good.

We all know of course that those in the know in professional oncology circles never make promises, never talk of cure and hate to offer prognoses but it's looking good to date and the odds have already been beaten by a mile.

*For the history follow this link.

*For the image see here.

Hmmmm....

.....it would appear I am having something of a blogging 'dry spell'!

My mind just doesn't seem to be coming up with anything worth putting out there, or even not worth putting out there!...Doubtless it will pass as it has on previous occasions and I'll be back to bore you all rigid with codswallop again any day now!

;o)

Thundery skies

Sunday evening, 'post storm'.



(Clickable)

Direct hit!

Picture the scene. Friday afternoon and I'm pottering my lazy way into town, minding my own business and in my own little world. I walk everywhere now if I can and I kind of enjoy it...save for the occasional incident.

So, there I am, almost into the center of town, still lost in my own little world when suddenly 'sploosh', without warning and bringing me out of my reverie instantly, I am soaked through, the hair I had actually bothered to 'do' saturated, mascara running down my cheek instead of on my eyelashes and my entire right side wet through!

Startled I looked up to see a small boy on the top deck of a passing, rush hour speed bus, retracting a bottle of water back through the window...the bottle of water he had just emptied, for fun, on top of my head. Gotta admire his aim, he achieved a perfect direct hit!

He and his mates were laughing heartily as you might imagine. I didn't miss a step, looked up at them, poked my tongue out and laughed out loud. I'm not entirely sure that was the reaction they were expecting or hoping for but it was pretty funny! :o)

Sunday silliness!

Very lazy cheaty post but you gotta love Lolcats/elephants/foxes!

That must have been...

...summer then?

From this....


Back today to that which we have come to expect of an English summer!

If..........

.....I had much to say I would say it but life seems just to be kind of pottering along at the moment in a fairly uneventful manner with little of note to report. I am of course not complaining, after the last few months 'issues' just to begin to feel slightly 'normal' (don't say it those of you I know will be tempted!) now and again is pretty acceptable and I'm trying my best to see the positive side of my situation.

Ok, so I don't have a job and that has all the obvious negatives but I can't change that immediately, I can only keep looking and waiting, but in the meantime I have made a concious decision to try and not worry about it unendingly. Worrying won't alter the world's current financial situation and it certainly help won't find me work! The only thing it will serve to achieve is to make me more miserable, so for now I'm trying to count my blessings and concentrate on how lucky I am in other aspects of my life..... and how to be able to spend my days sat in the sun in the park reading and watching the world go by isn't all bad!

Yes, it might not be ideal to say the least, but it could be worse, and I've come to the conclusion that life's just too bloody short! So I haven't got a job and I haven't got any money but I do have a roof over my head, food in my tummy, people who love me and who I love and some pretty amazing friends...and those are the things in life that ultimately matter, people, living life, loving and caring and accepting that not everything is always within our control.

I might not be able to maintain a positive approach always and there might be much I would like to change if I could but beating my head against the proverbial wall to achive things that for now I can't, isn't going to help!

'My' cygnets

At last I got to take a few pictures of 'my' cygnets' the ones I have watched from their early days as eggs, through to now when they are three weeks old.

There were six, in the last week one has 'disappeared' but the remaining five thus far seem safe and well :o)




(Clickable) More HERE.

'A smile from Heaven'

No idea of it's 'provenance' or even if there is a heaven but it made me smile.

Happy Saturday :o)

News we all fear

As a biker you know it happens, it's all your worst nightmares rolled into one but somehow you manage not to think about it too much, because if you did you would never ride a bike again or ultimately go outside of your front door for fear of some catastrophe befalling you... and you just can't live life that way.

That doesn't however alter the impact when it happens to someone you know well or are very close too.

I got news last night that my ex husband's identical twin has been horrifically injured in a motorcycle accident. Believe me, you don't want the details, it's as bad as it gets.

I haven't slept a wink, I can't get it out of my head...I know it happens, I've known it happen to others around me, you can't ride a bike all your life and not know, but very rarely, if ever, have I known it on this scale of devastation.


You are in my thoughts M.

More governmental buffoon-ery!

You may recall if you are a loyal visitor here that last week I had been summoned to a 'three monthly inane, pointless nagging review'with the DSS, the purpose of which is supposed to help me back into work but the reality of which is merely another effort at government stats manipulation and humiliation for those in my position.

Prior to this appointment I had one a few weeks earlier for the same purpose, which I had severely 'told off' for not attending, despite my never having been informed of the appointment in the first place, a fact they wouldn't believe until after much arguing they found my copy of the notification letter still loitering in their file! Apologies were not very forthcoming, rather I was treated to much excuse making!

Appointment two was last weeks....when I duly at the allotted time for that one I was told it had been cancelled....my enquiry as to why no one had taken the time to inform me earlier was met with yet more excuses and little in the way of apology. I felt at this point is was necessary to articulate my extreme displeasure in no uncertain terms and with some degree of assertion, something that still barely moved them to apology but did illicit the attention of the hovering security guard!!! Hell fire, I'm five foot and barely 7.5 stone, presumably the assumption must have been that because I was unhappy, rather than state my case reasonably, if with some degree of annoyance, and have them address it reasonably, I was going to 'kick off' in some manner! Idiots!

So yesterday came and this time they managed to call me in the morning......to remind me 'not to forget I had an appointment'...jeez, I don't need to spell out for you why that immediately had my hackles rising but I calmed down and off I went, yet again for this damn pointless exercise.

At least this time it wasn't cancelled as I walked through the door, perhaps I should be thankful for that if nothing else but the rest was utter tosh. My interviewer was a completely humourless, middle aged, pin money type with so little cognisance of the real world it was frightening. She informed me that as I have now been claiming benefits for three months I will be expected to take a job, should one arise on minimum wage and with a travelling time of up to 90 minutes each way, made me sign copious pieces of paper and then having told me she would be able to 'find me something', had absolutely no understanding of my amusement when the computer said 'NO'!

Oh....and despite filling in a very long winded form concerning another matter a few weeks ago so that I could avoid a problem in a few weeks time.....they have lost it, have no record of it, I must be mistaken it must have been a different form, more excuses yada, yada, yada, I have to start all over again with that.

This government department defies belief, it is utterly incompetent and utterly infuriating....go and see my MP was suggested to me yesterday. Sorry, forgive my scepticism but why do I feel that would just be another frustrating lack of action or common sense!!!!

Give me strength!!! All this for £60 as week! ...though to be honest I wouldn't mind if they could just operate with any small degree of ability or business acumen.

Buffoons, the lots of them!

Scientology sucks!

The recent news that the French legal system is currently hearing a case against the The Church of Scientology which if it returns a guilty verdict may result in the organisation being outlawed in France is very welcome news to me and one which is long overdue and should be followed up here in the UK.

I make no apology for what I am about to say here nor for any potential offence, I have personal experience of Scientology and believe me, this is no church, it is as the French legal system hopes to prove, a cult, sect, call it what you will but despite it's high profile 'converts', most notably John Travolta and Tom Cruise, the one thing it certainly isn't, is a church and there is absolutely nothing to recommend it!

Make no mistake, this is an organisation (details in the link above) who's sole motivation is control and financial gain only, it's as simple as that. The late and very un-great science fiction author (that should be a clue if ever there was one) and founder of the 'church' of Scientology, Ron L. Hubbard may spin a good yarn in the opinion of some but in reality his 'bible' is nothing more than a dangerous tool designed for nothing more than manipulation.....and if you have ever had the misfortune to read it you will know just how much so!

So, my involvement. Just like is illustrated in the current French case, I was lured in off a street in central Manchester by a very personable young woman offering me a 'personality test'. The premises into which she led me looked very respectable, effectively a well kept shop on a very main and expensive street and of course, there was nothing whatsoever visible to suggest that this was anything even remotely related to Scientology.

The 'personality test' was in fact a protracted and highly detailed questionnaire which I was asked to complete with the assistance of an 'advisor' who of course told me that the more detailed the information I provided, the better test results I could expect.

Even at this point my 'there's something not right here' antenna were buzzing but young and naive I continued. I might add here I was in my work lunch break and by this time I was already a half hour late but for some inexplicable reason I felt unable to remove myself from the situation.

To cut a long (and much of the same) story short, I was eventually led into an ante-room, for the by now long awaited results of my test...and that's where the situation began to take on a much more sinister tone, this was all getting pretty scary.

The room was dimly lit, small and smelt strongly of something very strange, I never did find out what, the guy that greeted me and was to tell me the hidden revelations about my personality was at best peculiar and at worst a complete nutjob, who's apparent level of residing on the same planet as the rest of us, was sadly lacking...but still I felt unable to leave, despite my flight or fight response, by now screaming at me to get the hell out.

What followed was not remotely to be recommended. My 'mentor' began systematically to annihilate my personality in a very manipulative and convincing manner, concentrating on insecurites and giving rise instantly, to all manner of self doubt, this guy was good, he knew his stuff, within minutes I was effectively embroiled in what I can only describe as a well honed brainwashing scenario and worse still I suddenly became aware that felt extremely odd. Struggling for a moment to gather my thoughts it suddenly dawned on me I was being hypnotised subliminally by that old chestnut, the reducing timed beat trick.

Ok...enough, I'm not afraid to say that at this point I was really scared, flight or fight kicked in full force and I shot out of the place like greased lightening back into the sunlight and some degree of normality.... still clutching the Scientology propaganda publications in my very sweaty hands that I had been relieved of a not inconsiderable sum of money for much earlier in the proceedings!

There was more to come....these guys harassed me by phone, by mail and by personal call through my next three addresses and for over seven years, the very fact that they could consider keeping track of me in that manner and for that length of time did nothing to endear them too me but thank fully eventually they stopped and it became history.

Believe me, Scientology is no church, there is nothing good about it whatsoever (ok I know some might say that of traditional church but you get my drift), this is a highly organised, well trained and extremely dangerous cult who's sole purpose is control and financial gain and who in my opinion should be severely dealt with by our law courts.

So, if you ever get offered a personality test in the name of dianetics...don't do it, just don't go there, even out of curiosity!!

Bands, boats and burning

What began as a completely event-less weekend in gemmaks-ville turned into something of a hectic time in comparison to my usual lifestyle at the moment, which mostly only involves sitting in Neros, looking for work or reading a book in the park!

Saturday was the same, Neros, Park yada, yada but Sunday the opportunity suddenly arose to rush up to the midlands at the last minute with my brother and his daughter, to a small music festival at which my niece was fronting a band....no we aren't talking recording deals here, at least not yet at any rate but they were pretty good, much more so than I had anticipated, as were most of the acts and we had a really good day.

This however is where the 'burning' in the post title comes in! Sun!? We don't do sun here in the UK on a bank holiday, but we did this weekend and I of course was completely unprepared and having spent most of the day sat in a field with no available shade, I returned home at night looking like a small lobster with the added attractive addition of heat rash!

Monday it was decided that myself and my parents would visit a local canal festival,
this I have to admit was not high on my list of 'things I desperately want to do with my day' but it turned out to be a real fun afternoon. A much bigger and better organised event than I had imagined and including a jazz band, all the expected brightly painted narrow boat malarkey, all the typical old fashioned English summer fete stuff but also much in the way of animals, (albeit intended for children I of course snuck in) and falconry displays....gimme animals and birds and I'm happy!

It was of course another sunny day and I was of course again unprepared....more pink-ness and more heat rash.....bugger and ouch!

So, whilst some of it might not have been things I would have chosen it turned out to be a pretty good weekend in lots of ways and doing something beats the hell out of what I usually do, which is mostly damn all. I did manage however to contain my excitement some!

(Apologies for the crap pictures...as I said, completely unprepared!)