I could...

...if I wasn't so perpetually knackered of late, regale you with tales of the white van from hell, of how my rear offside tyre still remains unrepaired and requires that I find among my daily calls to various mechanical workshops, one kind soul or another with an air-line just handy and ready to offer assistance in keeping me on the road!

I could tell you about the prop shaft that has now been received from the manufacturers but still loiters unhelpfully in it's packing instead of loitering in it's proper place among the components that make up my van.

I could perhaps amuse you with tales of customer complaints......yup, customers it seems in all 'walks' of life, not just my previous life, like to complain much more than they like to shout joyously at how impressed they are that in the torrential rain I stand there like a fool day after day getting saturated, just so they can have something to eat for lunch. Today's complaint I could add, that apparently warranted an abusive phone call, was that I had delivered five pints of milk to a customer and the bottles didn't all carry the same 'use by' date. They were of course all in date just not the same!!!!....WTF is that all about then?

I could tell you of the less than moral business practices I am encouraged to pursue, but that I don't and won't, which seems to cause my new employer a deal of exasperation and consternation, or I could enlighten you as to how I am encouraged to break the speed limits and/or use the company mobile phone while driving to keep to the impossible schedules.

I would like to amuse you with a tale of how I (very gently) backed my van into another this morning, it was the fault of a dog, a puppy infact, that had unfairly attracted my attention by looking so cute and cuddly and who's cute and cuddliness caused me to perform this maneuver infront of a queue of customers! No damage done, well in the case of my van one would be unable to detect any if there was some it is already so battered, but the vehicle of the other party was rendered unhurt! My pride however was not but I considered it the better part of valor, under the circumstances, to take the 'woman driver' jokes and jibes without complaint. ;o)

....and finally, if I had any energy to post I might tell you just how rewarding and fulfilling delivering sandwiches for a living is but I'd be fibbing...... and besides the 5am starts are still killing me, so instead of blogging I'll just go watch Corrie....and fall asleep yet again! ;o)