Losing the edge!

Call it age, call it a degree of common sense creeping into my psyche rather late on or call it 'losing the edge', whatever it is came as quite a shock to me!

Fletch, he who is lucky enough to have me bringing up the rear is generous enough to allow me to ride pillion oft times, has another new bike (yes, it's a man thing, one is never enough) .
and this bank holiday weekend was a more than suitable time for 'test riding'

'Test riding' commenced on Friday evening and was completed late yesterday (nothing obsessive there I hear you think!) and what I discovered somewhat disappointingly about myself is that I have definitely lost my 'edge'.

A large proportion of my entire adult lifetime has been spent on two wheels held together by a significantly sized engine, I have always loved it, it's something that either gets under your skin or it doesn't.... but once it has it never goes.

In my long gone and not so distant past I was happy to take the risks, loved the rush that motorbike madness provided and was happy to travel at speeds well in excess of %$£*#% mph (nope, I don't dare be any more specific than thaT), grind a knee slider along the tarmac or go the distance on only the back wheel.....I hasten to add that my penchant has been for doing this stuff as a pillion not the rider, I am way to small to have any control over anything worth riding and so I concentrated on becoming the ideal, unnoticeable pillion. I loved the rush, I loved the excitement, maybe even the fear.

But all that has changed, age or common sense has taken over and while Fletch was 'testing' his new machine's capabilities with me parked on the back (as one must to some degree just the once) I found, much to my dismay that I was nervous, that images of what might happen should it all go horribly wrong filled a small corner of my mind and what used to give me a buzz didn't any longer have quite the same effect!

Perhaps it's age, perhaps it's a degree less stupidity or perhaps it's just that these days I'm used to the much more sensible/stay alive riding style that Fletch usually adopts.... but whatever it is I think my days of head down and ar*e up tearing up the tarmac are over, I have definitely lost my edge where all that's concerned...... and probably it's a good thing!

Cat adopts newborn chicks!

This video link from the BBC is a must.

Amazing..... and with a very big cute factor!

Captive!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to convince them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

I knew I hated the dentist!

And today has only confirmed it!

Today, motivated by pain as opposed to bravery, I was forced to into the dreaded dentists chair for a check up. Last time I was in this position, the one where your head is nearing the floor, your feet are somewhere you have lost track of and your head is seemingly held fast by some invisible brace, it was for an extraction. That had not helped my feeling of anxiety for future visits though in defence of the dentist on that occasion, he was fabulously understanding and gentle.

Today's sadistic b*astard 'minister of oral care' it would seem, is very much opposed to we evil smokers and appeared to do his level best to cause me pain and scare the living daylights out of me!

Now, I accept that smoking is a major contritutary factor to my current dental problems, though even the dental fraternity were unaware of the impact of smoking on peridontal desease until approx. 15 years ago.

As a lay man I think I can be excused for not knowing this information until recently, particularly given that I was unable to be seen by a dentist at all, courtesy of the lack of NHS practitioners, for about half of that 15 year period! I fail therefor to see how poking things into my gums until I shrieked or telling me horrendously frightening stories was designed to help someone like myself' who already has problems with anxiety just trying to make it into the chair. Perhaps I should have encouraged him to scan my notes briefly before he set about scaring me so witless with only the result that I am much more likely never to darken a dentists door again.

The last guy helped me begin to feel I could deal with dentistry, this guy has firmly set me back but it seems I cannot have 'Mr nice dentist' complete the work that 'Mr scary dentist' has begun.

So the upshot of all of this is that smoking has caused my gums to recede badly, hence my otherwise (mostly) healthy teeth keep working loose and having to be removed. The prognosis is not encouraging, I think it unlikely I will see old age with my own teeth unless, and this is the million dollar question, I can quit smoking. Even if I do the damage is not reversible but it will at least not get signifigantly worse with a little luck.

I need two big fillings and one, maybe two extracted and not only am I miffed yet again with myself for ever starting smoking but I am also wondering just how I am going to pluck up the wearwithall to get my body back into the chair so it can be done.

This is not good, I am not a happy bunny right now...I knew I hated the dentist, as a profession I hasten to add, not the individuals, save for today's terrorist.

I wonder.....just what did he think he would achieve by treating me as he did when on the top of my notes in big red letters it states 'severe dental anxiety'??!!!

Seems somewhat counter-productive to me.

Reasons Why Motorcycles.....

.....are better than Men! ;o)

A motorcycle can go for more than one ride in an hour.
Motorcycles never develop spare tires.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles don't get you pregnant.
A motorcycle doesn't care what time of month it is.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Your motorcycle will let you know if something is wrong.
You don't have to kick your motorcycle to get it going.
Your motorcycle won't judge your friends.
If your motorcycle smokes you can do something about it.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other motorcycles you have ridden.
When riding, you and your motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
One motorcycle will satisfy you every time.
Your motorcycle won't ogle other motorcycles.
Your motorcycle won't care if you have a poster of your fantasy motorcycle.
If your motorcycle has high mileage, you can just get a new one.
Motorcycles don't care about breast size.
If your motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
You don't have to drink beer before your motorcycle looks appealing.
You can be proud of your motorcycle regardless of the model.
Your motorcycle won't beat you or try to make you feel inferior.
You can ride a motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get limp.
Your parents won't keep in touch with your old motorcycle after you dump it.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride when you do.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a novice.
Your motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other motorcycles.
Motorcycles don't make you late.
Your motorcycle won't complain when you use protection.
If your motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can't get a disease from a motorcycle.
Your motorcycle won't care if you fake it.
Motorcycles are always ready to stop when you are.
Your motorcycle has a built in vibrator.
Your motorcycle doesn't have to show off in front of other motorcycles.
Your motorcycle won't lie to you.
Your motorcycle doesn't care how heavy you are.
In the morning, your motorcycle won't poke you in the back when it wants to go for a ride.
Your motorcycle won't shrink when it's cold.
You don't have to cook for your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle can't ride around behind your back.
If your motorcycle is cold you can choke it.
Your motorcycle is always the right size because if it seems too small you can just get a new one.
You can keep photos of your old motorcycles.
Your motorcycle can go for multiple rides.
Motorcycles don't need pick-up lines.
You only have to ride your motorcycle when you want to.
Motorcycles don't snore.

Sitting pretty

She's still there 'my' swan, sitting ontop of her now well used nest, being waited on wing and webbed foot by her man. She seems to be happy for me to get within very close range without becoming in the slightest concerned but given that her chosen site is within feet of road through and industrial estate and only yards from a busy main line rail line it's hardly surprising I don't phase her with my camera and coo-ing!



(Clickable)

Some good news at last!

On Tuesday my bankruptcy was formally discharged by the courts almost six months early!!

I received notification when I arrived home from work today.

In reality it makes little difference to my life for the foreseeable future, but psychologically I feel it is one problem finally over and done with ..... which makes quite a considerable difference inside my little head!

Today has been a pretty good day all round in fact one way and another, a pleasant change......more please, or is that being greedy? ;o)

A view from a white van

The job may be crap but sometimes it has it's benefits.

It's Bluebell time here and they are out in abundance. Perhaps I should have been working but a little 'wander' in these woods was too hard to resist en-route to yet another factory!




(Images clickable)

Thief!

So there I was yesterday, out on the white van minding my own business, when suddenly I was confronted by a thief as I served one of my usual customers!

But this was not the kind of obnoxious thief I have been used to in the past, this was not your average smack fuelled shoplifter with pock marked face and equally pock marked behaviour, no, this was a thief of an entirely different kind.

As I was serving this particular lady customer she suddenly shrieked. At first I wasn't sure what all the hoo-ha was about, she just yelled and moved away from my van.....hell, I know it's a wreck but it doesn't usually invoke such a dire response from those who utilise it's services!

This lady customer it transpired, is afraid of birds (uh? must have seen too much Hitchcock) and had noticed a movement in the corner of her eye that upon a second glance was revealed to be a Robin.

This small bird was merrily inside the back of my van, perched upon a heap of sandwiches as large as life, madly trying to peck a way through the packaging and make off with his booty! :o)

And there it stayed, hopping from sandwich to sandwich without a care in the world, having a quick investigate of a bag of crisps and some Twiglets before going back to the matter in hand....that of robin' (groan) me of a sandwich .

So what did I do....what could I do, this is me, 'Mrs stupid about wildlife'(or in this case apparently not quite as wild as it should be....so I tore open a baguette and left said robin enjoying the feast for as long as I could spare to stand there just watching and marvelling at this tiny birds bravery. Yup, I made myself late but no matter, it was worth it......

....and not to miss an opportunity it seems, he was back again today, straight into the van, pecking at his fancy and waiting for me to do the honours and open it again for his delectation!

Amusingly if he carries on in this manner he is going to be in danger of being transported elsewhere in error, he has been in no hurry whatsoever to 'vacate the premises' thus far and on both occasions has required a gentle but persistent 'shoo-ing' away when I needed to leave! :o)

What sorry looks like.....

I've been good!

There is a distinct possibility that any day now I may be discharged from my state of bankruptcy, almost 6 months early.

Apparently I've been good, conducted my affairs since I was declared in the 'manner expected'.....fingers crossed that I have been good enough! I should know any day now.

Ok, so in reality it doesn't make much real difference, it remains on my credit history for 6 years and that's the bit that matters but it's a start and at least I wont have to declare it on every damn official form I fill in any longer.

Slightly surreal

From the garden:


(Clickable)

A place to ponder

My life as you know, has of late not been always too straightforward but in an odd way the job from hell, albeit not very distracting in itself, has been a source of some small pleasures for me.

Day to day the making and delivering of sandwiches, under the tutelage of 'the bitch supervisor from hell' and in vans in varying states of disrepair does nothing to lighten my mood but it does provide me en-route with one or two little treats that somehow have managed to help me through my difficult days.

As my route has evolved I have taken in one or two tiny 'diversions'. Hell, , I work a full shift without being allowed a break (yes I know it's contrary to employment law) so I don't feel guilty in building into my day a few minutes to enjoy the better aspects of trailing around the same roads day in and day out.

There are the rabbits, baby rabbits, up to ten of them at a time playing each morning in a small lane close to my first call. There is by coincidence a small lay-by in the vicinity, which just cries out for me to stop and watch for a few minutes as they play and burrow in the hedges along both sides of the lane.

Further on, about half way through my day is my 'farm cat', who when she shows herself, happily allows me to pick her up and cuddle her for as long as I like while she purrs merrily.

Then of course there are the swans, the mother swan is still sat like lady muck, unmoving beyond the reach of her neck, whilst her mate fetches and carries for her constantly with a small entourage of ducks.

And finally, toward the end of my day there is my 'place to ponder'. Another lay-by but this time in a secluded spot a little off the road, so as to avoid my being caught by the possible passing of my boss. This spot is just a gated entrance to a field but is quiet save for the sound of the breeze in the trees that surround it and the birdsong of a multitude of feathered flutterers. There have been daffodils in the field bobbing their yellow heads and then latterly cows who trampled them but who cares, cows have friendly, happy faces, they can be forgiven. Beautiful large pine cones on the ground, holly berries being devoured by small birds and more rabbits. It is here each day around lunchtime that I stop with my 'hastily bought from a garage cup of awful coffee' to have a cigarette and just to ponder, just to try and get my head straight if it requires it and to take a break from the stuff that is life.


(Clickable) Phone camera again.....I really must buy a better one sometime!

Power of recall

Those among our number who are bright enough to be involved in the research of the mind have long insisted that our brains take in and 'record' every single piece of information we encounter, be that visually, audibly, by experience,
by our intention to learn or by any other form of stimulus. Everything goes in, our mind remembers it all, it is only our ability to recollect that information that is at fault.

Our skills in dragging from the depths of our mind the appropriate information, if and when we need it, are somewhat lacking when compared to the human hard drive facility it seems.

So why then, when recalling the simplest of facts is necessary on a day to day basis we often fail dismally and yet, when we least expect (or need) it, suddenly something small is so evocative that our powers of recollection begin to run on overdrive!

Earlier this week I happened upon something from my past, it was unintentional and unexpected, it was only a small find, something barely tangible but *BANG*, in an instant and without warning I was transported back to that time.

It had been a happy time, one of my happiest, if not the happiest.... and there I was suddenly re-living it, completely lost in the sights, the sounds, the smells and the emotions involved. The whole shebang hit me in such minute detail and with such force that for a short while I felt I was there, that I could reach out and touch those moments again. I could recall every aspect of the situation and circumstances and all with such unbelievable breathtaking clarity that the here and now faded away into temporary obscurity. I was utterly taken over by the power of the memory and it's intensity..... and all triggered by just one small find.

Our minds are sometimes amazing, the power with which we can recall certain things is astounding..... particularly in these days, when as a '40 something' my usual recall abilities dictate that it is not uncommon to struggle, for instance, to remember even the name of a film I saw only last week!