A new chapter?

That's it, I am no longer living at the cost of the taxpayer, I signed off the 'rock and roll' today, thank goodness, though annoyingly I didn't get to see one of the many dragons the DSS employ that I have in the past and consequently didn't feel I could 'impose' my opinion of the system as a parting shot, on the very young girl who sat across the desk from me politely telling me how happy she was that I'd got a job. Dammit! ;o)

So what next, tomorrow morning at 06.30 I start my new job. I feel as though I'm supposed to be elated or happy or some other highly positive emotion but in actual fact I'm just freaking terrified very apprehensive. It's been a long time since I had the 'privilege' of working full time and for a worry guts like myself that immediately brings to mind plenty to worry about! Will I get up in time or will two alarm clocks and Tilly fail me? What if I don't like my new colleagues, or worse still they don't like me? What if I mess up somehow and make a complete pigs ear of it all? What if, what if, what if?.....

Hopefully this is the start of a new (and improved) chapter in the debacle that has been my life since last summer, the start of better things to come but it's odd how we human beings (or at least some of us) hate change and it's odder still that however awful the last six months of my life have been I have none the less fallen into some degree of routine that, whilst it may not have been good, has in a strange way become familiar and hence kind of comfortable....dragging oneself out of that comfort zone is as scary as hell, however much it was hell itself at times.

I know deep down I'll be fine, I might even enjoy it but I just wish I was two weeks down the line when all this 'scary first bit' is over and I can begin to settle down to some degree of feeling it is my normality, that I know the ropes and what is currently unfamiliar territory becomes part of my new routine.

Ekkkk....here goes.....

Time for a meme

Stolen from Paddy.

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
"If you're using Opera as your browser and you want to import your bookmarks into Firefox..." Firefox & Thunderbird Garage, my dads not mine!

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
....and then what??

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Um..... can't remember, it was weeks ago, or longer.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
08.55

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
09.16

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The dishwasher

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
About 10 minutes ago for a cigarette.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My email

9. What are you wearing?
Knickers and a duvet.

10. Did you dream last night?
Can't remember, I don't think so though.

11. When did you last laugh?
About 20 mins ago.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Wallpaper!

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Nope.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Um....

15. What is the last film you saw?
Pirates of the Carribean.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A boat.

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
I don't know what you already know about me!

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Eradicate all forms of discrimination.

19. Do you like to dance?
Only if no one is watching!

20. George Bush
Who?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
No idea.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Ditto #21

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes.

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
So we are assuming there is a God?

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Hey....do it if you want to, my days of landing people with these things are over. Just let me know if you do so I can go read :o)

GOT IT!!

The job that is!

Yes, as of next Tuesday yours truly will no longer be an unemployment statistic, but instead a fully paid up member of the rat race again, back to the business of nine to five, well ok not actually nine to five but more on that later, back to earning a living and likely, after the novelty has worn off, grumbling about having to go to work again.....but for now it feels pretty good, I have a full time job, yayyyyyy.

Ok, so this is not a career move, this is not a job to die for and I'm highly unlikely to be giving Bill Gates a run for his money (no pun intended) in the salary stakes but it sure beats the dole...though likely once the Official Receiver gets his/her share I'm not gonna be patronising Prada or hitting Harrods anytime soon....but it is a job.

So what is this job? I'm not sure it has a title but it involves driving a nifty little van around offices and factories etc. delivering and selling sandwiches and other lunch and break time culinary paraphernalia to those cooped up in their work places from nine to five.

Like I say, it's not career move but it has promise of being a bit of fun, very little stress (more stress I don't need right now) and will pay me a wage while I try and gather up the rest of my life and put it back into some semblance of order.

There is of course a down side...starting time is 06.30 hrs!!!..... so no more late nights for gemmak for the foreseeable future, but the upside to that of course is that my work day finishes at 14.30 hrs, leaving me with a nice big bit of the day left to play. Oh and it's Monday to Friday so I get to keep my now much revered weekends.

Hell, it's years since I worked full time, it's gonna kill me for a few weeks, I think sleep will be top of my leisure time activity agenda for a while but hey, who cares, I get a pay cheque at the end of the week and absolutely the best bit of all....I can tell the miserable old trout in the dole office to 'go to hell' (in the politest possible fashion of course) on Monday! Working full time is worth it just for that pleasure alone.

.....and thank you all for your wishes of good luck yesterday. If luck had anything to do with it then you lot surely helped as ever you have over these last few somewhat 'trying' months.

Do group hugs work in the blogosphere? If they do then consider yourselves duly hugged! :o) Cheers guys.

Yikes.......

......I have a job interview today!

A little extreme!

Somehow I don't imagine 'madam' allowing this sort of carry on!


Did you ever see such a more miserable looking cat face?

'My rock'

So where have I been all weekend, what kept me from this little patch in the blogosphere? Cornwall is the short answer...but of course this being me and my being renowned for using ten words where three would suffice, I'll give you the longer version!

Since about the age of nine, which is far more years ago than I care to recall, I have had a 'favorite place in the world'. Ok, so I haven't actually seen much of the world but of that I have seen Trebarwith Strand in Cornwall is absolutely the best bit.


As a child I went there on a family holiday and I visited many times subsequently..... to this day it remains my place of solace, a place of peace and healing, there is a tiny place on the cliff face rocks that I consider 'my rock' and in times of trouble, if I can't get there (which usually logistically I can't) it has been my calming visualization. At low tide this place boasts an amazing surfing beach but it is at high tide I really love it, when the sometimes immense waves crash endlessly against the rock face and the beach disappears completely beneath meters of raging, powerful waves.


So Saturday, having hooked up with Fletch who has his new love 'Eloisa' to become truly accustomed to and having been told we would ride to the West Country 'somewhere' off we set on a beautiful but cold November morning, for what I envisaged to be maybe a couple of hundred miles. I do not do 'cold', I mean I really don't do cold, leathers let me tell you are not made for warmth, they are made for safety.....and 600 miles later I was bloody cold! Fletch may have been in his high tech all weather gear and he may have been on the front but whilst he was warm and snug I lost all sense of feeling in my lower limbs and completely lost track of where my hands used to reside!



But, and here is the big but, having made mention at sometime previously of 'my rock' little did I know that was where we were headed until finally about an hours ride away I 'fell in' and all thoughts of the cold were lost in my excitement at seeing once again the place I love so much.

We arrived in beautiful bright clear sunshine (is this really November?) in the mid afternoon to an amazing and unusually high tide and he could barely get the bike on the side stand before I was rushing off over the rocks to my very favorite special little bit of the cliff face. I was 'home' again. :o)

We booked into the local cliff top hotel , a place I have long wished to stay in, it's rooms overlooking the beautiful vista of the beach and rugged cliffs, I have always imagined falling asleep to the sound of the waves breaking against the rocks and Saturday night, at an embarrassingly early hour (hey, riding pillion is hard work), under a bright moonlight I did just that, left the window open and fell asleep listening to the sound of the sea. Amazing.



Sunday morning is was back onto Eloisa and on the road again, this time the less scenic but faster motorway route home. I forgot just how much stamina is required to ride any distance in the cold....600 miles later and I'm shattered, I can only guess how tired Fletch is having had to do the real hard bit but it was a fantastic weekend, a real treat and worth every numb finger and toe.

Thank you Fletch, you're a star :o)

You can read the version 'from the front' HERE.

*Apologies for the image size and quality, um, I ran out of battery and had to use my phone! :o/

Ooopsss...

......I seem not to have been too forthcoming on the posting front these last few days, my only excuse, I have been 'playing out'. I'll try and make up for my lax attitude later on today I promise! ;o)

Feline assistance!

It being autumn and all that my mother decided that having got the garden into a suitable state of over-wintering she really ought to get the 'gardening shelf' in the cupboard tidied up before she abandoned it completely for the year...Tilly decided she would 'help'......not!


(Clickable)

All is not as it seems

Having spent most of another weekend back in the saddle riding pillion I feel it is my duty as a woman to point out to all you guys out there that make lewd flattering comments about women in leathers...... that all is not as it seems!

It's winter you see, or at least it's fast heading that way and that means only one thing ...it's damn cold out there. The cold must be fought somehow and the preference is for rather ungainly and certainly not remotely sexy undergarments!

Suffice to say, I pity any poor A&E staff should I ever be unfortunate enough to hit the tarmac (unlikely though it is, the 'guy on the front' is good, believe me I wouldn't be on the back if he weren't) who has to cut me out of my leathers only to find an horrendously ugly exquisite set of thermal underwear, really guys, this is not the stuff of Agent Provocateur!

So chaps (no pun intended), next time you ogle the leather clad rear of a female biker, you might like to bear that delightful visualisation in mind! ;o)

The 'awwww' factor......

...and no, it's not cats!

See HERE.

Well worth a few minutes of your time. :o)

How very remiss of me.....

.....I haven't managed to get online for four whole days, I think that's probably unprecedented in gemmak's-ville! I certainly can't recall not making a connection at all for more than a day or two prior to this moment in time, it's a wonder I didn't wither away in the interim...four whole days is outrageous! ;o)

I have unanswered emails coming out of my ears, I haven't blogged for days and I'm not about to regale you with anything of interest today either, again I seem to be horribly short of time.

So there you have it, another 'non-post'...I really must do better this week!

I would blog....

....this evening but I'm busy 'revisiting' an old hobby!...and no, I'm not going to say what it is, there are those among you who will find it a great source of amusement...... ;o)

One whole Tilly year!

Today is Tilly's first birthday...well really it's a year since I got her, I always do cat birthdays on the date I bring them home, because I never know the actual birth date!

I really didn't think she would still be here with me by today but she is so we're gonna have some cat birthday celebrations...that said I'm not sure quite what because she's had a new bed, toys and a collar in the last week and she doesn't like all the usual 'human food' treats (chicken, tuna etc. she's not interested!!!) most cats would kill for!

Perhaps it will just be a day of her favoured game,'worm catching', extra cuddles and bigger rations of her favourite cat food, one day ignoring her diet can't do any harm, it is her first ever birthday after all and I'm just grateful she's here with me at all. :o)

"Happy birthday Tilly puss".

25 October 2006
25 October 2005

Oh...and she never did grow into her ears! :o)

Thank you......

....to all of you for the kind comments you left on my post, Maybe there is a God after all, last Friday, they were very much appreciated, as has been your unending support over the last five months, when most of the time from time to time my miserable postings must have almost been enough to send you all running for the hills!

Really though, knowing you lot were out there rooting for me made a big difference in some of my darkest moments so again....THANK YOU.....hey, and don't run off just yet please, I imagine there may be a few more ups and downs before I get this chapter in my life completely sorted out! ;o)

So, where am I at now. Well, as you know I have my car, (more yayyyyyyyy's) it may not be worth much in monetary terms but to me it is worth a great deal, not only does it allow me the usual degree of freedom afforded anyone with a vehicle but it is also kinda symbolic for me too. It's about the only material thing I have left to show for thirty years working and to lose even that would have been very difficult. I know my father or some kind soul would have helped me out and I would have acquired new wheels, but this car is mine and for all I am grateful to those that have supported me financially over the last few months, I hated the thought of having to rely on others yet again.

As for Tilly, she may have by default, won a 'stay of execution' but the situation remains unchanged in essence and she will still have to be found a new home before too long, though at the moment I have no idea where and I can't begin to really get my head around it again for a little while. The run up to her previous departure date was one of the most difficult times I have ever gone through and I'm not looking forward to the repeat performance, but on the up side we remain the 'gang of two' for a little while longer now and I will make the most of every minute we have left together.

Next on the agenda is a job, for various reasons it has not been possible to make getting work a top priority until now but the necessity for employment (and money!!!) has shifted up a gear or two in the last week, so the job hunt begins in earnest any day now.

And that's about it, gradually I feel like my life is becoming slightly less of a pigs ear as things that have been hanging over my head since May get sorted out, the Tilly issue is of course the big one for me but somehow I'll get through that too no doubt and who knows.......a year from now I could be anywhere doing anything!