How ridiculous!

Ok...so clumsy me, I dropped my mobile phone a few days back and broke the back cover. Upon investigation I discovered it is not a part that can be purchased at retail so contacted o2, the provider from whom it originally came. Bear in mind I have only had this phone three or four weeks.

O2 very kindly said they would send me a replacement part free of charge and that it would be with me by yesterday....you know what's coming don't you? of course you do, it didn't arrive. I called again today to confirm it was in transit only to be informed that they can't provide the part and have no idea why I was told otherwise!!! My displeasure at their lack of reliability was registered and I was told to go to an o2 store where the part could be ordered.

Off I trundled to said store.

The staff in said store informed me they 'don't order parts' and had no idea why I was informed otherwise!!! FFS I registered further displeasure and 'suggested' that they call their head office whilst I was there to sort this debacle out. They did....no joy, both laid blame and responsibility at each others door!

I was by this time beginning to breath fire and the 'sales associate' dealing with me was beginning to look a little flustered.

I took over the phone conversation and made it reasonably clear I expected one or other of them to sort this out, afterall, I only wanted one small part that by their own admission was only a couple of quid. The lady on the end of the phone contacted Nokia (apparently) and came back to me saying they couldn't provide the part either!! Hello? They manufacture the damn phone so if they can't I wondered who the hell can?! The answer, apparently no one!!

My displeasure became more intense. By this stage I had spent maybe and hour and a half talking to half-wits, getting conflicting advice and very little in the way of results.

Finally 'girl wonder' on the end of the line said she had a solution....wait for it....she would send me out a new phone! I explained yet again I only need one part of the cover, they didn't need to waste a whole handset but it fell on deaf ears. Apparently they can only send out whole phones, not just parts and the suggestion she just take the back off the phone and mail it to me thereby at least saving the cost of a courier, was met with complete confusion!!!

I gave up at that point! If they see fit to waste £300 then who am I to stop them I thought but hells bells, it's the 'throw away' society gone mad....is it any wonder we are using upresourcess at such a rate of knots when a company of such magnitude behave in such a ridiculous manner?

How a woman's brain works!

This was sent to me as an email by a friend (thanks 'Retroguy')....the image struck a chord with me...my brain feels just like this lately....oh, and I couldn't resist the punchline!

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:



Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

*Good thing a man's brain requires only two balls! ;o)

...but I don't 'do' cooking!

When I saw my job as the driver of the white van from hell advertised it said nothing about 'cooking'. In fact it very carefully didn't it seems to me, what it actually asked for was a 'sandwich van salesperson'. Had it mentioned anything remotely involved with culinary skills you would have seen me headed in the opposite direction....and fast!

There are things I do and things that I definitely don't do and one of the definite don'ts is anything remotely associated with food, aside from eating it of course or dipping the odd strawberry into deliciously melted chocolate. Domestic I can be, cleaning, ironing, washing, vacuuming...all no problem but things culinary...ugh! Ok, so my way to a mans heart is not through his stomach! ;o)

It has come as somewhat of a shock to me therefore to discover that by 06.30 each weekday morning I am up to my armpits in 'sandwich making' equipment, for in reality not only do I have to deliver said delights but I also have to produce them all myself beforehand, this is not good, it does not start my day well to be surrounded by commercial quantities of various hams, cheeses, salad stuffs and other assorted 'fillings', nor do mountainous piles of empty baguettes, and other bread products fill me with joy with there apparent need to be transformed into attractive lunchtime fare, by my own hand.



But fill them I must and if you please, at the rate of approximately 60 an hour.... yes, that's one a minute, no mean feat let me tell you. That includes wielding an electric knife (OMG), the 'buttering' procedure (though the stuff we use has long since lost any resemblance to real butter) and the tidy and attractive inclusion of usually something in the region of five or six different items of filling...all of which are hell bent on not remaining where I originally put them!

But there is worse still to come. Once I have fought tooth and nail with lettuce, beetroot, stuffing, pineapple, corn, etc. etc. etc and various dead animals and persuaded them successfully to 'stay put' I then have to somehow maneuver them into a long thin bag and then into a 'sealing' contraption, all the time fighting the attempts of the darned stuff to escape and fall untidily into an ungainly heap at the bottom of the bag!

Now this might not sound like too much of a trauma to most of you but I really don't 'do' cooking and to me this comes under the heading of cooking, it involves food and knives doesn't it? Yes? so it's cooking then and I don't do it, I just don't!...or at least I didn't!

...but three weeks in and I've got it mastered, I've got a routine and a plan and this morning by 7.30 all 60 were done and dusted and immaculately waiting to be sold within the ridiculous given timeframe. There they were all tidy and yummy looking, nothing hanging out or sitting sadly at the bottom of the bags and at last, my supervisor (I use the term loosely here) who can rarely let a moment go by without criticism, could find nothing to winge about!

...but I still don't 'do' cooking! Ppffttt.

Wonders will never cease!

At last! The white van from hell has a new prop-shaft!!

This may not sound like heaven to you but for me, who has had the displeasure of near dragging the offending vehicle along behind me these last two weeks, it is a gift of large and much coveted proportions!

No longer does my every minute pressure on the accelerator cause there to be unnerving shuddering below me, no longer do I sound like an approaching tribe of over excited banshees and finally, oh joy, when I hit the gas I am propelled forward at a reasonable rate as opposed to having to sort through a selection of low gears in an effort to merely keep going! Ok, so this is still not anything Schumacher would be fighting to drive but it is a a very large step forward.

Yes, there are still the airless tyres, lack of heater, jammed door, failed fan and one (slow) speed wipers to attend too but I am for now just thankful for small mercies!

Oh....and it's Friday tomorrow, so it's all good. It's seemed a hell of a time in coming this week but who cares now, it's almost here and a Friday is a Friday and not to be sniffed at, two whole days of nice stuff and sleeping and not a white van in sight!

***************
On the subject of Friday's, tomorrow is likely to be a difficult one for someone very close to me (you know who you are), a day of uncertainty, mixed emotions and upheaval, so my friend, if you read this, know I am thinking of you and that I wish I could do more to help.

Aversion therapy!

Luckily it's owner wasn't home! ;o)


(Clickable)

Another meme

I have no idea now who I stole this from but if you recognise it as yours, thanks....but what happened to the '4's?

As ever...if you wanna have a go feel free, just let me know so I can go look.

TEN FIRSTS

First Best Pal: 'Karen'
First Hamster: Never had one
First Piercing: Ears,...my only piercing.
First Crush: Hell....that was a long time ago....some boy in my 3rd year of junior school, his name escapes me.
First CD: I dont remember.
First Car: A lime green 'mini'.
First Love: 'Robert'
First Stuffed Animal: A teddy my Godmother gave me the day I was born, I still have him but he's a little 'delicate' now!
First Teacher: Don't recall her name but she was scary!
First Watch: Tiny 'timex' with a navy blue face.

NINE LASTS

Last Beverage: Coffee of course!
Last Vehicle Ride: Drove home from work.
Last Movie Seen: Highlander.
Last Phone Call: A friend.
Last CD Played: A compilation in my car.
Last Bubble Bath: Last night.
Last Time You Cried: About two hours ago.
Last Person who gave you a hug: Um....
Last Time you rang your mum/dad/guardian: This afternoon.

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS

Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Nope.
Have you ever been arrested: No
Have you ever skinny dipped: Yes.
Have you ever been on TV: Yes.
Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: No...the regret is those I didn't kiss! ;o)
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you knew: Excuse me...there are some things even I don't blog!
Have you ever been in love: Yes.
Have you ever wanted to slap/punch a friend: No.

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING

1 Fleece
2 Fleece jacket...ok, I'm cold!
3 Knickers
4 Socks
5 Slippers (oh, this is painting an attractive picture - not)
6 Earrings
7 Ring

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY (in no particular order)
1. Got up.
2. Wanted to sleep!
3. Smoked too much.
4. Had a Tilly 'conversation'.
5. Been to work.
6. Procrastinated.

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER

1. Tilly.
2. Chocolate.
3. Cuddles
4. Sleeping!
5. Maple sugar.

THREE CHOICES

1. Eat or drink: Eat
2. Blonde or brunette: No preference.
3. Pink or black: PINK!!!!


TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Realise my dream.
2. Feel content that I have done most of the things I wanted to do before I die!

I could...

...if I wasn't so perpetually knackered of late, regale you with tales of the white van from hell, of how my rear offside tyre still remains unrepaired and requires that I find among my daily calls to various mechanical workshops, one kind soul or another with an air-line just handy and ready to offer assistance in keeping me on the road!

I could tell you about the prop shaft that has now been received from the manufacturers but still loiters unhelpfully in it's packing instead of loitering in it's proper place among the components that make up my van.

I could perhaps amuse you with tales of customer complaints......yup, customers it seems in all 'walks' of life, not just my previous life, like to complain much more than they like to shout joyously at how impressed they are that in the torrential rain I stand there like a fool day after day getting saturated, just so they can have something to eat for lunch. Today's complaint I could add, that apparently warranted an abusive phone call, was that I had delivered five pints of milk to a customer and the bottles didn't all carry the same 'use by' date. They were of course all in date just not the same!!!!....WTF is that all about then?

I could tell you of the less than moral business practices I am encouraged to pursue, but that I don't and won't, which seems to cause my new employer a deal of exasperation and consternation, or I could enlighten you as to how I am encouraged to break the speed limits and/or use the company mobile phone while driving to keep to the impossible schedules.

I would like to amuse you with a tale of how I (very gently) backed my van into another this morning, it was the fault of a dog, a puppy infact, that had unfairly attracted my attention by looking so cute and cuddly and who's cute and cuddliness caused me to perform this maneuver infront of a queue of customers! No damage done, well in the case of my van one would be unable to detect any if there was some it is already so battered, but the vehicle of the other party was rendered unhurt! My pride however was not but I considered it the better part of valor, under the circumstances, to take the 'woman driver' jokes and jibes without complaint. ;o)

....and finally, if I had any energy to post I might tell you just how rewarding and fulfilling delivering sandwiches for a living is but I'd be fibbing...... and besides the 5am starts are still killing me, so instead of blogging I'll just go watch Corrie....and fall asleep yet again! ;o)

Really...

....I promise you, I haven't forgotten that I'm supposed to post something here from time to time other than images, it's just that I'm so so tired!

This working for a living business, along with the 5am wake up call, is taking some getting used to and if I'm not chasing around the countryside in the van from hell then I seem to be able to do little more in the way of anything constructive than sleep!

Bear with me please while I get my second wind.....

Invisible bike!

Well I think it's funny! ;o)

Baptism by fire! ~ Part 1

Today, my first day off from this confounded working malarkey and what happens? I don't imagine it's too hard to hazard a guess that Tilly has, in her inimitable way, had me up and out of bed since 05.30!! Bloody hell fire, that's only a half hour later than my weekday 'stumbling out of bed' time but apparently to small cats that is of no consequence, she would like company and so I have to provide it! Ugh....all I want is some sleep!

So how did my first two days alone on the road go? I think the best and most positive word I can use to describe them is 'interesting'!

My allocated van is no joy, in fact to say it is a disaster would probably be an understatement. The thing is an eyesore having seemingly had every panel and bumper make contact with a hard object at some point in it's history, and whether it's even roadworthy is very questionable! It's refrigeration unit I was told leaks a 'little', where in actual fact it creates a small internal waterfall, I have no heater in the cab and no fan, they should be there, they are in there in principle, they are just completely dysfunctional and as a consequence, on days like the last two where it has been cold and wet outside, the inside of my windscreen has been running with condensation!

The mechanics of this wonderful vehicle are no better. It sports a gear box that takes the strength of ten men to force into any gear, two tyres with very persistent slow punctures and a propshaft that is so past it's sell by date that it 'clunks' very worryingly and constantly and if I dare to put it under any load at all, screams like a stuck pig! This is all very well but kindly souls on the pavement and in other vehicles keep trying to draw my attention to it to warn me I have a problem....like I can't hear it for myself! It's reminiscent of a hoard of banshees screaming.....how could I miss it?! The brakes 'bind' and pull, the steering requires to be coaxed from permanently attempting to put me into whatever is on the nearside of me, the exhaust has seen better days and the windscreen wipers only have one speed.....very slow! Oh....and there is no water in the washer bottle, that shouldn't be a problem in itself but for the fact I can't find the bonnet 'pop' and no one else seems (despite this van having been there's for over four years) to know where it is!

How this vehicle made it's way through an MOT test is anyone's guess but I have to say that when I am hammering it along country lanes trying to adhere to my drop times I have little confidence in it's safety or ability to make it to my destination without coming to a grinding halt in some Godforsaken out of the way place!

Hmmmm, what can I say? This vehicle does not inspire confidence but it does if nothing else provide me with a daily challenge just getting it from point 'A' to point 'B'....a challenge is a good thing right??

~ To be continued~

Puppies? Kittens?

Forgive my skepticism!

Read the story HERE

© Reuters

My apologies but.....

.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

White van woman

Ok...I'll admit it, today was some improvement on yesterday when I was tempted to take a hike before I had even completed day 1!

Today was another day (my final, eekkk) of 'learning the ropes' which meant of course another day accompanied by my boss and another day of no break, food or cigarettes but I was at least allowed to drive the route myself and in his van, a new Transit.

Ok, I accept this is not a treat on the scale of driving a DB9 but it is newer and bigger than the van I will be allocated and playing at 'white van woman' was not without it's amusement. It's surprising just how much more one can get away with pushing and shoving into traffic when the vehicle is significantly larger than average. I probably didn't make any friends but I do now have a very small understanding of why white van man exists....hey, I have a route and a pre-determined 'drop' timetable I have to adhere to strictly and complete by a set time.....and no, it isn't generous in timing, quite the reverse! If I drove sedately I would be out of work again in no time, my new timetable is my bible apparently and to be worshipped suitably yada, yada, yada.

That said it was kinda fun, I felt more in control today, was only late for one drop, made up my time, ran the rest of it without any mess up and made it back in time.

Um.....let's not get too confident here, tomorrow I have to go it alone, anything could, and probably will happen and I am soooo tired right now I don't know what to do with myself, but anything has got to be better than how I felt this time yesterday! :o)

Day one

What a relief....I woke up at 05.00 hrs in time for my first day back at work, though some might say it's hardly surprising given that I had set four alarms in my state of paranoia last night, that I would oversleep!

That was about where the good news ended mind you. By 05.10 Tilly had very 'helpfully' deposited the entire contents of a packet of cereal on the dining room floor necessitating that I clear it up and risk waking the whole household in the process.....oh how popular that would have made me!

From there on in it was kinda downhill, this job, though it maybe holds some small promise for improvement does not fill me with any degree of passion at this stage..... and the fact that I went the entire day until home time with only one cigarette, and no food or drink didn't cheer me none either, other than for the simple reason that I don't think I have ever gone that long without nicotine in the last 25 years!

At this point I don't relish tomorrow, my head is a tired muddle of routes, prices, fillings, orders and timings and the panic that I'm supposed to have it all sussed by the end of tomorrow to take it on alone on Thursday. I have a sneaking suspicion that by mid morning Thursday I'm going to be completely lost but hey ho, if nothing else that's day one over with and I suppose it can only get better....can't it?

Can I go sleep now?