Priceless!

When all around is crap and falling to bits, yesterday evening, out with a friend playing in this;


...is priceless! :o))

Phenomenal piece of machinery!

Friday the 13th....

....feels like a pretty appropriate date today, for without wishing to sound too gloom laden things in gemmak's-ville are getting pretty tough. Tougher than tough in fact.

TP is now very poorly, the situation is progressing and it's not pretty, it's not dignified and it's not nice.

We all hear people say from time to time how hard it is to nurse someone who is so ill and we sympathise and try to say something helpful and understanding but I for one, really didn't appreciate just how hard and how soul destroying it becomes, until I had to bite the bullet and do it myself.

It's constant 24/7 stuff and very little of it is anything close to uplifting, quite the reverse. The professional services are all in place and all doing their thing but ultimately they can only do so much... and it's not they at the sharp end when it all goes wrong in the wee small hours and suddenly, in a sleepy state, another major decision has to be made or another new problem presents itself which requires prompt action, usually without the necessary knowledge. It is impossible to second guess everything that might occur and to be prepared for all events. Try as I might and with as much information as I have gathered, the one thing I always need to know seems to be the one thing I don't know....and just don't try getting professional help or advice after office hours with any degree of urgency. The reality is that there are two choices in the middle of the night, make one's own decision or call a 999. End of. The other options that appear to be available just aren't into rapid response, as good as they are in the daylight hours.

So, it's onwards, though somehow I suspect not very upwards. It is one of those situations that just has to be dealt with the best way we can, there is no option for any of us, tis life as they say....

Shhhhh.....

....don't tell anyone but I am kinda seeing someone!

It's fun and it's very nice and it's a bit scary.... and you get no more details yet!

Early days, watch this space. ;o)

Remembering....

I'll apologise before I begin....

...because this post might just turn into a temporary pity party, I have had a bad day, I'm fed up, thoroughly pissed off and losing sight, just for an hour or two, of the principle of 'making the best of it'!

So what's got my goat? Well right now it feels like just about everything, though of course it's not but it's been a day of others ill tempers aimed in my direction or in the direction of those I love, I have been soaked in the rain, not once but twice running errands, I have had my day planned and un-planned for me without reference to myself, I have spent half the afternoon having a text row with a guy who has some serious issues understanding the term "no, sorry I don't want to see you tonight" or any other night for that matter which degenerated badly when he began hurling juvenile insults in my direction, I pulled the plug promptly at that point I might add.

I also have an extremely sore middle finger on my left hand as the result of a very bloody run in with an open tin can last night, (fab, I'm left handed) I'm constantly tired and I am fed up to the back teeth of having to think and remember a thousand and one things all the time and of feeling like I have the weight of the world firmly strapped on my little back!

Oh...and the one thing I had hoped might save the day, didn't happen. Wouldn't you know it!

I miss being me, I miss having a life, I miss having fun and save for the odd exception I feel like I can't remember what fun even feels like, or carefree.....or happy .....or relaxed.....or normal!

I know we all go through crappy periods in our lives, we all have bad days, many much worse than mine, and I know my situation is no-one's fault. Far from it. And yes, I know I'll feel better in the morning and yes, mostly I'm happy and more than willing to be doing what I have to do right now... but just today, just right here and right now I need to have five minutes of 'selfish and disgruntled and snivelling', before I gather my thoughts and get back on track.

*Rant over, I apologise once more.

My mum....

...is 80 today!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!

There is humour in all things!

So....we live in a three story house and this now presents problems for TP as his illness progresses and he becomes weaker. He needs to be able to navigate at least one set of stairs successfully to have a decent quality of life and this has become something of a logistical nightmare recently.

I am not strong enough to haul him up and down and even if I was it is neither dignified nor comfortable for him. It is also dangerous, should he fall he is highly likely to injure himself, and me for that matter, and I'm not sure I could 'catch' him if need be!

The solution? It was decided by the committee (thats' me, my mother and TP) yesterday that now is the time to call on the assistance of a stairlift.... and time being of the essence we set about finding a company that could provide the service poste haste.

One was found without much ado and the appointment for said hardware to be installed was promptly made for tomorrow.

What is not lost on us is that tomorrow is just one day before my mother's 80th birthday and a stair lift seems a rather amusing (and ahem 'appropriate') acquisition just a day before one becomes an octogenarian does it not?!

Luckily my mother also has a sense of humour!

Leaving on a jet plane!

So, today, after over seven months of red tape and the trials and tribulations of the immigration services, and having finally got his visa to move to the U.S delivered into his hand last week, Ian took off on a flight from Heathrow at 15.00hrs today bound for Omaha Nebraska and a whole new life with Lisa, one of my very best friends!!!

I can't believe it has finally happened for them, at 04.00GMT they will be reunited after a very long time apart and they will be married sometime soon.

If ever there was a fairy story come true it's theirs and having been kind of involved from the outset I have to say that even for me as a third party, today feels a pretty special day. I might even admit to shedding the odd happy tear on their behalf and to being somewhat overly excited when Ian called me this morning en-route, to get me to check some flight details at the last minute.

Congratulations on getting to now you two, you both deserve a lot of happiness and the most amazing future together. You earned it one way and another!

I love you guys! Be very, very happy :o)

Happy Halloween!

It's taken me until now, all these years, to finally make one of these, I just couldn't resist this year. Ta daa, my first ever pumpkin lantern....


...and no, I have no intention whatsoever of growing up, in fact I suspect I am reverting and I'm all for it! ;o)

Some days....

.....you just know you should never have got up in the morning.

Horrible, nasty, crappy day! I will be more than glad to see the back of it.

Ugh!

That's all.

Caught in a web!

I hasten to add, I checked thoroughly that there was no one 'at home' before I even considered taking these!



(You may need to click and enlarge to see the catch!)

Frustration and happiness

I am frustrated, (no guys not that kind of frustrated). I am frustrated by my recent inability to blog, not because I can't think any longer of things to blog about, rather the reverse, I can, I have so much I would like to be able to 'get out there' but for innumerable reasons I just can't.

Other people's privacy, the feelings of others, the nature of some of what has been happening, you name it, it seems that most of my current life, is for blogging purposes at least, off limits for the time being. It's driving me quietly insane what I am already? but there is nothing I can do to circumnavigate the situation right now....why oh why does Blogger not offer the protected posts facility that Wordpress does?

I could of course migrate to Wordpress but I don't in all honesty want to lose what's here and I suspect the transfer, despite promises on the Wordpress blurb that it will all be easily moved is a little on the optimistic side!

I will think of some way around it before long but until then suffice to say, things with TP are as to be expected, we are still battling on but it's a rough ride. My life is still in a kind of limbo and it's all pretty surreal. There are one or two bright spots and we make the most of the situation we find ourselves in but mostly we live day to day and deal with stuff as it hits us, which it does, with regular monotony.

There is one particular happiness to report though, an update on my post a few days back "America says I can get married". For those of you who haven't already heard, Ian got his visa today, he gets on a one way flight to the U.S. on Sunday and Lisa and he can at last be together and be married!!!

How cool and romantic and lovely is that!? :o)

For the girls!

A little something to remind us that the clocks go back this weekend.

Enjoy! ;o)

.

"America says I can get married"

Those are the words of a text I just received from Ian, words both he and Lisa, one of my very best friends, have been waiting to to say for over a year now!

What does it mean exactly? Well Lisa and Ian have been going through the long and often times difficult and frustrating process of trying to be together when living on separate continents. The upside for me of course was that I got to meet Lisa twice last year after five years of online friendship but there has been some pretty 'un-up' aspects for them trying to navigate the immigration rules and regs.

Much air travel, paperwork and hassle later, this morning Ian, having gone for the final interview stage in the process this morning, has finally been granted permission by the United States embassy to move to America and marry Lisa!!!

Yayyyyyyy!

It's been a long road as they say but at last the very best news!

Congratulations to you both!