Gimme a break!

Jeez....just how many more bits are going to fall off my crap car I wonder, please, just one week without something going wrong would be good!

I've had this godforsaken thing since it was new, 6 years and almost from the day it's warranty expired it began to disintegrate, most of it logged on this blog along the way.

Thursday the exhaust fell off, this evening driving back from Cambridge a warning light on the dash started to flash furiously at me....not just any old oil light, something I could rectify, nope, this was the one the manual stipulates one must stop immediately for should it light. I've been here before, last time it cost me an arm and a leg, so I stopped! Thankfully I was near to a service station so at least I could get coffee....well that was the theory but both coffee machines were u/s so I couldn't even achieve that.

I called the rescue service who promptly attended.... almost two hours later, popped the bonnet and kindly told me he was surprised I had gotten 3 years out of 'this car' let alone 6! Thanks mister. He went on to tell me I would be better off getting a loan and buying a new one....I didn't see the point in explaining that car loans aren't readily available to recently discharged bankrupts.

Heap of crap car was duly hooked up to a pretty funky all weather laptop and a failed sensor on the catalytic converter was diagnosed, along with the recommendation that I 'limp it home' because the rescue vehicle would be at least another two hours. On the upside he told me with a smile (grrr), if I broke down again and was stranded on the hard shoulder of the M25 it would take less than half an hour to recover me......women on the hardshoulder in the dark are not considered in a safe position and get pronto service.....hey, I knew there had to be an upside somewhere.

So that's it, crap car is poorly yet again, back to the garage tomorrow....more money, more aggravation.

Arggghhh, gimme a break here!

Enduro!

I know it's taken me a week but finally I have got around to blogging last weekends antics in the Lake District.....an enduro weekend with Eloisa and Fletch courtesy of the XRV.org a forum on which Fletch currently spends much of his life and that is dedicated to those who are the utterly demented proud owners of an XRV (Africa Twin).


A rough translation of this would be along the lines that 60-70 mad men (and three women) got together in the Lakes for some very muddy and mad off-roading, a little tarmac fun and probably way too much interest in late night revelry....though this had to be somewhat controlled given that we all had to be legal and on the ball for the daytime riding!

We had a ball.

Fletch rode up on the Thursday morning, I, given that my wonderful employer only allows me 2 weeks leave a year and I didn't dare take another sickie was left with the options of driving up after work on Friday(ugh in my small car) or taking the train. I opted for the latter and was soon to regret it. I remembered almost immediately why I haven't used a train for literally decades! This delightful mode of transport allowed me less room that an economy flight, was hot, noisy and having only travelled 30 minutes of a 3.5 hour journey we met with unexplained 'delays', resulting in a 40 minute loss and my missing my connection! FFS!

Eventually I made it though and was duly picked up at Oxenholme station by Fletch, who had taken my gear up with him to save me lugging it all on the train. This presented a small problem, there was nowhere to get changed, so it being dusk and quiet there was only one thing for it, get into it all on the side of the road....getting undressed and into leathers in a hurry is no mean feat but I managed it with some degree of decorum.


The camp site was in Dent, a lovely little village in Sedburgh, we made it through the lanes by 11.00 pm where I was met with a field full of tents and bikes and a proper dinner!


One of our number it turned out was an excellent camping chef and had knocked up a really good meal on one ring late at night for the three of us. This was to continue, we had our own personal biking chef for the weekend! :o)

Fletch and the gang had done most of the offroad stuff on the Friday, I was sorry to have missed it but as it's not a game that is easily (if at all) played carrying a pillion the timing was good and as Fletch managed to turn Eloisa rubber side up on a couple of occasions (fair comment off road incidentally and at least not anything like as painful as on road!) at least it meant I didn't have to clean my leathers!



Saturday we split into smaller groups (see, thoughtful bikers not creating a mass hazard on small roads) and went on various ride-outs. Ours was destined for Wastwater and Hardknott Pass. Having just ridden umpteen passes in the Alps we were a little complacent about this but we were to get our comeuppance.... Hardknott was damn hard!


Ok, the risk to life and limb was not the same, there weren't 300 meter drops to fall over if we came off but the terrain and road surface added to the extreme incline on bends made it a real test! One of course that Fletch was equal too, though there were moments when we though we might lose it and end up in an ungainly heap.....as some did! ;o)


*Note to car drivers, please don't misjudge the bends and bounce your vehicle off the sides to within a foot of my thigh!

The Lakes have long held very difficult memories for me and to be honest I wasn't completely enthralled at having to be there again but I have to say that whilst it will never really be a place that 'does it' for me, it is a very beautiful area and the fun and madness we had kept the memories at bay.....mostly :o)

Amazing weekend, amazing group of people and amazing riding.

The images are not all mine and those that are came only from my phone so apologies for the quality, I was too busy trying to stay on and run the video camera to take many pictures!

I'm a bad, bad blogger....

.....in fact I'm worse, I've barely been a blogger at all this last week!

Somehow I just didn't seem to have the wherewithal to 'get to it', it's been a kind of crap week one way and another, only added too today by my car exhaust falling off unceremoniously on my way home from work. Grrrr.

But hey, it's Friday tomorrow which means the weekend and weekends are always good, so maybe next week I'll have got my act together somewhat and will manage to be a better behaved blogger!

Have a good one guys :o)

Oh....and coincidentally I found THIS was today's 'Daily Om'. Strange how that happens sometimes...or fortuitous!

Some things never change...

....and one of them is Tilly's penchant for endearing stupidity!

This is the latest offering from her new mum:


It's still very difficult for me to think of her as never coming back and I still feel very, horribly kind of jealous when I hear she wakes 'V' chewing her hair, like she did mine or that she loves her new mum to cuddle her etc. etc. etc. but it's also very good to know she's now completely settled and seemingly as happy as a pig in muck in her new home.

Maybe before to long I can handle a little visit.....and then again maybe I should leave it a bit longer! :o/

Oppsss...

....I fell off!

Apologies for my unplanned disappearance, my father decided to change I.S.P. last week and of course you know what happened don't you!

One hours anticipated 'outage' turned into four or five days of constant frustrating and expensive phone calls to India and 'help'-line operators who were absolutely no help at all.

In the meantime I have been to the Lake District having fun (more to follow) and have returned this evening to find my father finally won the battle and we at last have a connection again....a little flaky maybe but hey, beggars can't be choosy.

More later, I need to sleep right now :o)

'Virgin' on the ridiculous

Is it any bloody wonder the great British public need nagging relentlessly by politicians to use the rail network? No...it damn well isn't!

We are all familiar with the debacle that is London Underground on occasion, the delays, excuses, cost etc. etc. but I was staggered yesterday when I went to book a ticket on a main line route...it made the underground glow in a halo of light!

I need to travel to the Lake District this Friday evening so off I went to pre-book a ticket.

Firstly there was car parking to deal with. My choice was either £6.50 (I needed about an hour I guessed) for 24 hours and no hourly rate option or the 20 minute and don't return for half an hour pick up and put down area. I opted to look on the bright side and parked in the 20 minute bay.....only to get in a queue at the booking office that of three service points only had one position


manned and who was already serving an obtuse old git who seemingly had all the time in the world!!
The booking clerk advised me that I might like to move my car before the over zealous attendant had it moved for me, the old git didn't take the hint and I had to drive around the towns one way system for a half hour and then return to from whence I had come. My patience was sorely tested when I discovered the old git still hogging the sole booking clerk!

I heaved a sigh of relief when finally it was my turn and I hadn't had to move my car yet again. My relief was short lived.

I hadn't expected my ticket to be cheap but hells bells, I hadn't expected it to be £109 either. One way, standard class, no bells, no whistles, not even a guaranteed seat!!! I don't recall what Mr Branson's advertisements used to say but it certainly wasn't that! If it wasn't such a long drive at the end of a day at work I would drive it out of hellishness and on principle but I'd probably fall asleep so instead I payed up and scuttled away with ticket firmly in hand before my car was towed away into the bargain!

Did you ever wonder...

...just when you might begin to see even the smallest light at the end of the tunnel?

Sleeping in the saddle

So back to the recent around Europe biking travels and an aspect that seemed to intrigue/amuse a few of you....how do I sleep on the back of a bike?.

The answer is this: Easily, if I'm tired I sleep it's no big deal really. Bear in mind that I have been on a bike for most of my life it's almost as natural to me as walking is and after thousands and thousands of miles the movement and noise is almost soothing. Add to that I know from experience that I'm not gonna fall off in some odd fashion and if the bike is loaded there is no place to fall anyways.

All that remains is to have absolute faith in one's rider, to know he/she won't take unecessary risks or try for fun to 'put me off the back' from a standing start (no Fletch, this is not an invitation to get on the back wheel), take way the fear that bikes hold for some and hey presto, sleep :o)......and as an added bonus, should the worst happen, if one is asleep one's body is way more relaxed and as a consequence likely to sustain somewhat less severe injuries than tensed up......well that's the theory!

Really, no big deal.

Printer problems!

This was sent to me as an email with the following text:

"What would be the first thing you might think if a client called and
Told you they were having problems with their printer?

Issue: Whenever I print, the paper comes out wrinkled, crumpled and even
shredded! Sometimes the ink is wet and smeared.

Now, make the diagnosis before opening the video.

Were you right? If so, you're definitely an IT Topgun!"

Love it....very reminiscent of 'Poppy'!

Thanks to Deanna for the original mail, made me laugh like a drain. :o) (Drain??....where on earth does that saying come from?!)

'Face' what?

I know I'm being particularly dense on this one but what on earth is this 'Facebook' thing all about.

I have tried, I really have, I have done what is necessary as I understand it (limited understanding in this case remember) to set up a profile etc. I have 'written on a wall' as instruced, whatever that might mean and I even havew friends it seems but from that point on I seem to be totally lost.

My mailbox keeps presenting me with 'pokes' (uh!) and other oddities, all generated from this Facebook malarky but I'll be damned if I can discover quite what it's all about, what I'm supposed to be doing, where the questions are it keeps asking me so I can answer them or what in the name of stupidity a poke is!

Me confused? Yup, sure am!

And finally.....

.....for those of you who might prefer a less verbose but more informative and amusing version, Fletch's take on the proceedings is HERE .

I'm biased I know but well worth a read :o)

About this holiday then ~ Part 4

The end.....I promise!

One damp night and poor-ish meal in a restaurant later, we departed Grimsel and the pretty grim kind of woman manning the local campsite (in a beautiful spot mind you) and moved on northwards via
Interlaken to South East France and the Alsace region....only about 200 miles this time which gave us time to play on the roads through and forest close to Colmar. This though had a sobering moment when we came upon some World War 1 cemeteries, the area having been on the front line.


Due respect and a quiet moment were given and we carried on the Xonrupt-Longemer and a campsite at the edge of a lake...amusingly called 'camping Du Lac'! heh.



We were knackered, it was raining, the site was nice and it was fun trying to communicate with the girl running it, who spoke a similar amount of English to our command of French, so we stayed put for a day of rest that mostly consisted of eating and hibernation from the rain in the tent with a book or two.

The feeling that we were near the end was setting in and knowing we had to be back at the hook of Holland for Saturday and our sailing home we set off again, wet tent packed, hey, we got used to being wet and got packing our 'temporary home' down to a fine art in any conditions!

We had decided that our last night and morning should be spent in Amsterdam, a nice hotel, good food and one final blast, sex and drugs and rock and roll....and all that.

The journey through Luxembourg and Belgium could best be described as 'utility', on motorways, hot and without stopping, that was until we hit our first traffic jams for two weeks trying to get into Amsterdam....where we came to a shuddering halt and had to re-think our route.

Once into the city we found a lovely hotel that 'sadly' oh dear - not only had one place left, a relatively expensive apartment just around the corner...we took it, unloaded the bike (that couldn't be housed in the hotel underground car park because the bell hops couldn't cope with it on the lift) and made haste with the luxury of a shower!




Amsterdam was good, way better than I had expected, it has a kind of chilled, laid back, anything goes vibe about it that I loved. We could happily have spent a few days there but we made the most of our few hours, an evening and a morning, and though one feels in Amsterdam that one should do the whole sex and drugs and rock roll thing in our state of tiredness it was somewhat beyond us ....sex was a quick beetle around the red light district, drugs we don't do (even when cheap and legal) and the rock and roll....well we chose to chill in a bar after an excellent dinner, that had a guy playing 'easy listening' on a piano, hardly rock and roll but very enjoyable!

The morning came and with it our penultimate ride, to the Hook of Holland to sail back to the U.K. It was uneventful and we boarded and sailed on time. Again we had a Captains cabin so we made the most of it......and slept, finally docking at about 22.00 hours and then riding our final 100 miles home to Cambridge. In typically British style we were treated to a dull, dismal, rainy and misty ride for the final leg....... Welcome back to England!


Minutes from docking - Not happy!
I hated coming back, this holiday had been such an adventure and I loved the lifestyle, a challenge in parts yes, but the challenge was part of the fun and the experience. I discovered stuff about myself that I didn't know and learned some stuff, good and bad along the way but most of all I could have just carried on living that life forever, riding from one country to the next, pitching the tent, eating what was available, trying to communicate in different languages and marvelling at the world around me and what it has to offer. Oh, and the company was pretty respectable too! ;o)

I truly never believed that the world was such a beautiful and interesting place until now.......

When does the next ferry sail?


*All images can be found HERE if you prefer not to trawl through all this!....more added when I get a moment.

About this holiday then ~ Part 3

If you're not heartily fed up with reading all this by now here follows the next bit!

San Giminano being plonked somewhere in the middle of Italy gave us way too much choice as to cities to visit, there was Rome, Florence, Pisa, Siena, Modena and Bologna to choose from but we couldn't possibly do all of them (we preffer the countryside to the cities anyways) and unable to do them all we opted for Pisa and Florence.

Pisa, what can I say, I'm glad I have seen the falling over tower, from a structural point of view it's fascinating but trying to evade the clutches of the pushy street vendors with cases full of dodgy watches and the crowds soon wore thin and Pisa was exited once we had marvelled at it's tower a while.


Tacky I know but it's gotta be done!

Florence on the other hand was beautiful and given the opportunity we will go back but on this trip we had to limit ourselves to an afternoon there marvelling at the architecture and particularly the Ponte Vecchio...though the fact that every building on it had long since been turned into a tourist trap jewellery outlet was a little miffing. From the banks of the Arno river however it was still amazing.....



'gemmak and Fletch' at the Ponte Vecchio!

......and the sight of the whole city from the top of a hill as we left was unbelievable.

Not mine ~ courtesy of the internet!
The beauty and bank aggravation behind us now we hit the road again headed north for Laas in the Italian Alps, to find a new pitch and to ride the long awaited Stevilo Pass.

The ride was somewhat trying, another 350 or so miles but this time in high heat. One of the features of this kind of leather clad traveling is that one is never satisfied. When it's cold all you wish for is a little heat and when the sun shines and the heat saps you of all energy all you wish for is a nice cold glacier again!

Most amusingly, given that we suffered in the name of 'all the gear all the time' for the sake of safety we noticed the Carabinerie on their bikes sporting only shirt sleeves and a big weapon! Some example that is! Oh, and they also seemed to spend most of their day hanging out drinking coffee!

But on we rode, back accompanied on all sides past more amazing vistas, it seemed for most of our holiday that just when you thought you could see nothing more stunning, around the next corner was just that, something even more stunning! We stopped here and there along our way for much needed water, caffeine and nicotine and mostly remained very upbeat despite the soaring temperature.....Ok, I had one, 'I'm toooo hot can't we stop now' moment but I regained my composure quickly, fortified by lots of marzipan chocolate....this stuff became part of my staple diet incidentally, along with various form of 'pasta a la Fletch', which meant pasta made on one ring with various sauces and usually frankfurters! I did try the frankfurters but mostly I picked them out and launched them at his plate.....hey, a lifetime as a veggie isn't easily overcome! heh.

Eventually we made it in early evening to Laas, we found a lovely little campsite bordered on all sides by mountains and offering toilet, laundry and shower facilities, more befitting of a five star hotel than a grass pitch, what luxury. More cheering than that even though I soon discovered the site had a resident, particularly friendly and cuddly kitten to adopt temporarily! Life was perfect....aside from one small issue....we had forgotten to get any supplies en-route, the site was lacking in a shop and the tiny village was firmly closed for the night so 'dinner' consisted of our emergency ration food, pepparami noodles. It's amazing how good plastic food can taste in emergency!


Having been fed we settled down for the night, believing that the beautiful church that overlooked the site must surely cease ringing it's bells every 15 minutes at some point in the evening.....wrong, it carried on all night long and to add insult to injury was joined by an even more prolifically chiming church bell a few meters away on the hour, every hour! We woke early! I think it was only our extreme tiredness that allowed us even a few hours sleep for the following evening, the following evening whilst Fletch managed a few hours I, despite earplugs, spent most of the night wandering around in the dark smoking or reading trying to alleviate the lack of sleep frustration.



But finally it was morning and Stelvio Pass called. We took the luggage off the bike, made sure we only had a half tank of petrol (a full tank is very heavy) and set off for what promised to be a stunning but very 'hairy' ride. It was everything we had looked forward too, magnificent, wonderful, very challenging to ride and a massive buzz.


Much of it I only saw through the back of a video screen, this was one of my spells trying to video it all over Fletch's shoulder, which forced me to look over the edge way more than I would have liked but it all added to the fun factor. Oh, and for those of you amused by the principle, yes I slept for a short while on the way down....more on the bike sleeping thing another time.




For whoever it was who asked if Fletch let me ride the bike....the above picture might illustrate why not....... note the size of me in comparison, she is a massive machine, Fletch is a big guy and she's hard work for him, I wouldn't stand a chance, much less even get her off the stand! ;o)

We left Laas on the following day heading north again, this time onto Grimsel in Switzerland via St. Moritz which is very nice if one has piles of money and wants to ski or play polo but it's public toilets were about the worst I encountered and instead of an overpriced restaurant we partook of a superb lunch of fresh bread, salami (there goes the veggie in me again) emmental and coffee rustled up on the banks of the lake and provided by Fletch miraculously from a hidden compartment somewhere on the bike!


Unnecpectedly this turned out to be the most fantastic journey, if slow. We only managed to cover approx. 250 miles but the small scale map we were using for that hadn't made it clear to us that we would be riding seven mountain passes, one after another, that adds up to a vast number of hairpin bends and sheer drops which in turn added up to maybe nine hours of intense concentration for the guy on the front. Again he deserves a medal, I couldn't maintain that level of concentration for a few hours, let alone all day long and if one was in any doubt as to just how challenging these roads were, dotted along them here and there were great iron crosses bearing photographs of unfortunate bikers who had in some way 'overcooked' it! :o/

That reminder aside it was truly incredible, every few moments there was a new breathtaking sight, everything from riding above the glaciers to herds of beautifully coloured Alpine cows tinkling with their bells


and great dams in the middle of the mountains, in places one couldn't imagine the earth moving equipment needed for such construction could even get too. What stick in my memory most though was the colour of the glacial lakes and rivers, the brightest milky turquoise blue, like massive opals set into the rocks. Sadly stopping a bike, or any vehicle on these roads is not easy and as a consequence I didn't get a picture that really illustrates the colour, but I doubt my camera could have reproduced in any convincing way quite how unbelievably beautiful it was.





*Part four coming up....really, i'll try and make that the final one!

Learning the hard way!

A small piece of advice here....... don't ever travel overseas with only one bank card!!!

Fletch being Fletch with his usual awareness for security took recent high street bank advice and instead of traveling with a fist full of credit and bank cards took only one, apparently fraud overseas has increased dramatically and to carry too many is to invite problems.

Ok, so maybe to take just one was a little over the top, as a discharged bankrupt I cannot have such luxuries and hence can't help out in a situation like we found ourselves.

The account for which Fletch was card carrying was 'well stocked' to cover all eventualities and we had a fair amount of cash on us but as is the way of holidays cash soon departs the pocket and so we hit an ATM on the Friday evening in San Giminano....you know what happened next don't you....the computer said no! Huffing and puffing a little we set about calling the bank in the U.K. (via very expensive mobile connection I might add) only to be told by some spotty youth that 'all cards had been stopped overseas but it would be working within 24 hours'!!! Seemed a little strange but as further questioning produced no more information we crossed our fingers and waited the 24 hours.

The following evening we called again, asking that the bank call us back to save the call charges "we aren't allowed to call back overseas" was the answer!! No, I bet their not if they make cock ups like this one turned out to be.....hey, why pay for your inefficiency yourself when some other poor fool can take the hassle and the financial fallout! FFS! Banks!

This time we were told there was 'a problem' with the card. Yup, dead right Fletch informed them.....the problem was that we were in Italy, needed to check out of a hotel and had no other way to pay than this card. I might add here that we had 'embellished' our situation to try and get some action, we did in fact have enough cash to check out and get home but little else!

We again were promised that the card would be re-activated within 24 hours. We had no choice but to hope!

Twenty four hours passed and of course you know, as we did that it wasn't gonna happen, so yet another expensive phone call was made.

At last we got a lady who wasn't hot out of school, looked at her screen properly and told us that the card was stopped because it had been cloned in the U.K. So much for fraud overseas! Fletch went painfully again through the 'we are stranded in Italy' story only to be told we needed to speak with the fraud department....who weren't open! Thoroughly p*ssed off by this point and given that when asked her to find us a solution to our plight she replied she 'didn't have one', stuck we would remain in Italy, Fletch lost his usual kind and polite attitude a little. This finally produced a little action and she agreed to call us back with a solution the next morning, though she didn't believe that I wasn't carrying any cards and kept suggesting we use mine! Jeez! Are all banks completely inept!?

But good to her word she did call back at the specified time (we had explained we would be on the road and one can't hear a phone or answer it when sporting a crash hat) and we had made sure we were parked up to receive that call. More yada, yada, yada, more crap and more excuses but FINALLY she managed to get the fruad boys to activate the card again until we returned to the U.K. Hurrah!!

The whole issue had detracted a little from the few days we had in Italy, which was more than a bit annoying but finally we were solvent again.......that was until we tried to check out of a hotel again further down the line and found the card to be stopped again!!! I won't bore you with that tale though, well not yet anyways!

Banks just don't want to help their poor reputation it seems. I appreciate fully that they were doing their job and that to identify that the card had been cloned and to act on that was a positive thing but what I don't understand is that they don't have a system in place to solve the kind of problem we had, they couldn't have given a damn if we really had been stranded and had missed a flight/crossing etc. or had been unable to check out of the hotel, even the suggestion from us that they just allow us one withdrawal of cash having gone through and passed stringent security questioning fell on deaf ears.

What was most frustrating was that it is the banks recent suggestion not to carry too many cards (ok, only one might have been taking it a little far with the benefit of hindsight), Fletch had made sure there were more than ample funds and this was his money, not even a credit card and they still wouldn't give him access to any of it....and little more did they care, we spent two days being fobbed off by spotty teenagers who apparently didn't even have the wit to read their screen properly!

The possibility of being stranded in Italy indefinitely had its attractions but Euro-less??!

So, the lesson learnt is never trust a banks advice and never travel without a fistful of plastic.....the fraud in this case was committed in the U.K anyways before we left!