I suppose it was always likely to happen one day, we, or at least I think I am savvy enough to avoid it but it seems it's not always as straightforward as we might like to imagine!
What am I talking about? Well, I appear to have got myself a somewhat scary stalker via the interweb. Ugh. :(
To cut a long story short he has been less than impressed by my telling him I don't want to meet up with him. In part it's my own fault. My gut reaction weeks ago was that this guy was bad news but for whatever reason I chose to give him a 'second chance' and began responding to his emails/texts again. Silly, stupid woman! None of that excuses his behaviour however.
The reasons I chose to do that are perhaps complicated and maybe I don't entirely understand them myself, in part he was nice, interesting, bright, amusing yada, yada, in fact there were aspects of him that were very interesting but there were one or two things that just got my safety antenna jangling like bells right from the start. I should have listened!
I know all the rules, I've been on t'internet long enough and I'm old enough and ugly enough to know better but I still made a serious error of judgement and a poor decision, which in an odd way is psychologically the interesting aspect and a maybe a good lesson learned.
No matter how much time I have spent on the internet, no matter how savvy I might think I am, I still allowed myself, against all the contrary evidence and advice from one or two trusted male friends (thank you guys, you know who you are) to be manipulated into something that deep down I felt was concerning! I need to look at that in me a little harder maybe!
....And I have got my comeuppance for my stupidity. This guy lives close by, is angry with me and whilst he hasn't actually threatened me yet I have thus far had 24 hours feeling like I'm looking over my shoulder all the time and a sleepless night worrying about what, if any, his next move might be. He doesn't thankfully know my address but he does know the town and I'm sure it's not beyond him to search the electoral roll if he felt so inclined. He has however not contacted me now since yesterday morning when I told him in no uncertain terms to 'cease all communication', so my fingers are firmly crossed!
Hopefully it will all come to nothing more but I'm not ashamed to say it's scared the crap out of me and I don't like feeling this vulnerable one - little - bit. Maybe it is however a good and timely wake up call, because whilst I'm sure most guys out there are ok and this is my first and only 'incident' in many years, some are not ok, very not ok in fact and I had allowed myself to become far too complacent.
Stupid, stupid, idiot, f*ckwit woman!
Thursday, 22 April 2010
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9 Comments:
I think we all make these mistakes at some point, whether on or offline. I hope this is the last you hear from this guy. BendyGirl Xx
There is only one answer. You must find him, kill him and eat him first. Mwhahaha.
Hi Jane.
What a stupid ‘thing’ to do always trust your ‘gut’ reaction and feelings. Only course open to you now is visit the local police station and seek their advice and help, good luck - Mick x
No messing about now - any escalation and I would report it to the rozzers and request that he be warned under the harassment legislation. If he can find you, I presume you could locate him also. It's not an over-reaction, it's precisely this sort of situation that this law was created for. You don't need to wait to be physically threatened. If you wish to speak, you know where I am! xx
Bendy: Maybe but I still feel utterly idiotic, thank you though, maybe i don't feel quite so much so now! :)
Chaotic: Ergh!
Mick: Advice taken :)
Anon: One more incident of contact and I will, thank you xxx
Stay safe!
Daisy: I will do my best :)
keep safe, m'dear!
Yes, indeed, please be careful, you seem like such a sweetheart.
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