Something has had me confused for a long time and I should warn you here that this is probably not gonna be a 'family friendly post', so if the whole subject of porn offends you close the page now please!
Pornography, that's what confuses me, not the question as to why it exists in such volume, that is obvious and you don't need me to spell it out to you but why it exists in such quantities for men but not for women!
And yes, I have looked and I suggest that most of us, if we are honest, have at least looked and if you are one of the woman who hasn't let me tell you, what is on offer is very limited and thereby hangs yet another double standard....apparently as in most things sexual, even in the 21st century, sex is fine if you are male but somehow not quite so fine if you are female. We women are still supposed to have a greater degree of chastity, coyness or some other emotionally retarded attitude to all things sexual. The media may suggest otherwise in part, but in practice the attitude that dictates that a guy who 'puts it about' is pretty cool and to be held in some esteem....the woman of course who dares do the same is to be vilified, ridiculed or at it basic level have derogatory names attached to her behaviour still exists.
This double standard has always confounded and annoyed me and it would appear that the pornography industry only serves to uphold such nonsense, I have no figures to support my theory but I would guess that of the millions of sites out there only a tiny, tiny fraction is aimed at women.
And here is another oddity, how many out there have heard the guys swapping addresses for their 'favourite sites'(nudge, nudge, wink wink), seen the emails flying at high velocity over the virtual ether or had an 'unexpected' pop up window appear.....but how many times have you seen the same going on among women?
Ok, so maybe I just live a sheltered life but I don't think so, I think my life has been particularly un-sheltered in fact but you just don't see this stuff going on with women....or at least not in such a general fashion as the guys manage.
I would of course draw a definite distinction here, I am talking about acceptable pornography and I mean by that the legal version, the illegal aspect is a completely different issue and one that needs addressing by the laws of the land with much alacrity.
Maybe the reason it doesn't exist in quantity is that women just don't have the interest that men do, or at least not in the numbers that make it economically viable, or maybe they would if it were there and the 'moral world' didn't still expect we women to be so sexually coy...... but what's the betting that if it were there, if the inequality didn't exist, you would at least take a sneaky look now and then.
The question that has always amused me is this: If the guys out there are getting all the action, and we women are considered (still!) to be morally corrupt, a slag, a whore, a tart or one of the other many 'pleasant' tags associated with femal sexual activity, or to be committing some other heinous crime by doing same.....who the hell are the guys getting the action with????!!!
Hmmmm. Confusing isn't it?.
*This post of course suggests no personal preferences on my part.....merely an interest in why the situation still prevails! ;o)
Sunday, 6 January 2008
Saturday, 5 January 2008
A new year bekons....
....and somehow that doesn't really fill me with joy or glad tidings! Was it supposed to?
The passing of 2007 is no bad thing in my book, or 2006 for that matter, I think I can say without fear of error that with the exception of one other, many moons ago, the last two years were probably the most difficult and challenging time in my life....and not ones that I have any wish, whatsoever, to repeat!
Yes, there were good times, a few, (should I break into song here?), I had some amazing holidays and got to visit something in the order of ten new countries, something I never thought I would get the chance to do, I got back into bikes after way too long a break, I discovered what I want in life (and what I don't) and I learned that it takes alot more to break me than I would ever have guessed...though sometimes it got pretty damn close, too damn close for comfort on occasion but thus far I made it!
I won't pretend that makes me proud, or a better person, or any of that crap, I'm a lightweight, growing through pain is not my idea of fun, I'd take the easy life option if it were an option, like most of us I suppose, but I got through it. Someone said to me recently that at it's basic level life is about survival....and I have survived, so perhaps on that level, whilst I have nothing to speak of in a material sense, I have succeeded in some small way in achieving something over the last year.
But life has to change some. I'm not one for the 'new year resolution' malarkey, I can fail quite well enough thankyouverymuch, without setting myself up unnecessarily but 2008 needs to see me brace myself again and face a few more demons and try to spend a little more time living and a bit less time just surviving.
Fingers crossed...... and no promises other than I will keep at it, though doubtless there will be more fences to fall at along the way but perhaps there will also be a few smiles too.
The passing of 2007 is no bad thing in my book, or 2006 for that matter, I think I can say without fear of error that with the exception of one other, many moons ago, the last two years were probably the most difficult and challenging time in my life....and not ones that I have any wish, whatsoever, to repeat!
Yes, there were good times, a few, (should I break into song here?), I had some amazing holidays and got to visit something in the order of ten new countries, something I never thought I would get the chance to do, I got back into bikes after way too long a break, I discovered what I want in life (and what I don't) and I learned that it takes alot more to break me than I would ever have guessed...though sometimes it got pretty damn close, too damn close for comfort on occasion but thus far I made it!
I won't pretend that makes me proud, or a better person, or any of that crap, I'm a lightweight, growing through pain is not my idea of fun, I'd take the easy life option if it were an option, like most of us I suppose, but I got through it. Someone said to me recently that at it's basic level life is about survival....and I have survived, so perhaps on that level, whilst I have nothing to speak of in a material sense, I have succeeded in some small way in achieving something over the last year.
But life has to change some. I'm not one for the 'new year resolution' malarkey, I can fail quite well enough thankyouverymuch, without setting myself up unnecessarily but 2008 needs to see me brace myself again and face a few more demons and try to spend a little more time living and a bit less time just surviving.
Fingers crossed...... and no promises other than I will keep at it, though doubtless there will be more fences to fall at along the way but perhaps there will also be a few smiles too.
Wednesday, 2 January 2008
Let it snow!
Please, please let the B.B.C's weather forecast for my area tomorrow be correct and let it snow!
Tomorrow is my first full day back in the van from hell, today I only had to work two hours and if it were to snow for the first time this year, on my first day back, it might make it almost bearable! :o)
Tomorrow is my first full day back in the van from hell, today I only had to work two hours and if it were to snow for the first time this year, on my first day back, it might make it almost bearable! :o)
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Sun, cereveza and Starbucks!
So what can I say about Seville....it's a beautiful city, with stunning architecture and a thoroughly relaxed atmosphere, don't take too seriously the guide books when they tell you crime is rife!
Yes, there is one area you would prefer not to visit about three miles outside of town but aside from that there was no evidence whatsoever of anything untoward. It's a city, they all have their bad patches but Seville seemed a whole lot less threatening than many....in fact it was completely un-threatening.
The trip got off to a slightly 'iffy' start, before we even made it to Gatwick I had a quite badly cut little toe, Fletch's glasses had disintegrated (no spares) and at passport control the 'powers that be' confiscated and destroyed a lighter I had bought him for Christmas, apparently gas lighters by the thousand are fine and dandy but a Zippo is not!
Consequently two slightly disgruntled travellers boarded the flight but the hassles were soon forgotten as holiday mode took over. We arrived in the mid evening (that's a whole five and a half hours without a smoke...be impressed!) and having found our hotel (ok, the cab driver found it) we set about finding some tapas and exploring the beautifully Christmas lit city....then fell into bed.
The following three days continued in the same vein, we walked for miles around the most wonderful Moorish architecture, among the brightest bouganvillia and trees
laden with ripe oranges, we visited the cathedral, the biggest in the world, we climbed it's bell tower to the most spectacular panoramic views, we spent a day in the
Real Alcazar, the royal palace, in part still used, marvelling again at the mixture of styles from Moorish to Baroc and enjoyed the warmth of the afternoon sun. We visited a bull ring, for me there was a large degree of reticence but on the understanding that there is no fighting at this time of year I took a look....and left feeling sad and with my 'anti' opinion only strengthened!
Seville in winter is not a place for sunbathing, the mornings and nights were pretty cold but by afternoon the seemingly permanently shining sun had warmed the air to the perfect temperature for relaxed wandering.....and partaking in the Spanish tradition of siesta!
The evenings centered around food and beer! I have to admit that tapas in probably not my favourite of delicacies but the constantly moving from one little bar to
another 'feeding' and drinking certainly had it's attractions and though our Spanish is seriously lacking we soon learned how to ask for a beer or coffee with some degree of ease. The discovery of a small bar with a very friendly 'mine host', who had spent six years in London and could do an excellent take off of the North London accent also helped somewhat! ;o)
And then it was home time again, another five cigarette-less hours to withstand but with a head full of happy memories as we took off, bound again for gatwick and the rain!
My greatest memories? Sunshine, cereveza (I, the woman who was tee-total for over twenty years managed to 'over-do' it on one occasion, Spanish bars seem not to issue forth alcohol in legal measures, preferring to just pour unendingly from the bottle,
and cause Fletch to have to undertake a degree of 'looking after' duties), the architecture of course and Starbucks.....for Starbucks seemed to have taken over just about every vacant unit in the city!
Can I go back now please?
(Images clickable, more soon)
Yes, there is one area you would prefer not to visit about three miles outside of town but aside from that there was no evidence whatsoever of anything untoward. It's a city, they all have their bad patches but Seville seemed a whole lot less threatening than many....in fact it was completely un-threatening.
The trip got off to a slightly 'iffy' start, before we even made it to Gatwick I had a quite badly cut little toe, Fletch's glasses had disintegrated (no spares) and at passport control the 'powers that be' confiscated and destroyed a lighter I had bought him for Christmas, apparently gas lighters by the thousand are fine and dandy but a Zippo is not!
Consequently two slightly disgruntled travellers boarded the flight but the hassles were soon forgotten as holiday mode took over. We arrived in the mid evening (that's a whole five and a half hours without a smoke...be impressed!) and having found our hotel (ok, the cab driver found it) we set about finding some tapas and exploring the beautifully Christmas lit city....then fell into bed.
The following three days continued in the same vein, we walked for miles around the most wonderful Moorish architecture, among the brightest bouganvillia and trees
laden with ripe oranges, we visited the cathedral, the biggest in the world, we climbed it's bell tower to the most spectacular panoramic views, we spent a day in the
Real Alcazar, the royal palace, in part still used, marvelling again at the mixture of styles from Moorish to Baroc and enjoyed the warmth of the afternoon sun. We visited a bull ring, for me there was a large degree of reticence but on the understanding that there is no fighting at this time of year I took a look....and left feeling sad and with my 'anti' opinion only strengthened!
Seville in winter is not a place for sunbathing, the mornings and nights were pretty cold but by afternoon the seemingly permanently shining sun had warmed the air to the perfect temperature for relaxed wandering.....and partaking in the Spanish tradition of siesta!
The evenings centered around food and beer! I have to admit that tapas in probably not my favourite of delicacies but the constantly moving from one little bar to
another 'feeding' and drinking certainly had it's attractions and though our Spanish is seriously lacking we soon learned how to ask for a beer or coffee with some degree of ease. The discovery of a small bar with a very friendly 'mine host', who had spent six years in London and could do an excellent take off of the North London accent also helped somewhat! ;o)
And then it was home time again, another five cigarette-less hours to withstand but with a head full of happy memories as we took off, bound again for gatwick and the rain!
My greatest memories? Sunshine, cereveza (I, the woman who was tee-total for over twenty years managed to 'over-do' it on one occasion, Spanish bars seem not to issue forth alcohol in legal measures, preferring to just pour unendingly from the bottle,
and cause Fletch to have to undertake a degree of 'looking after' duties), the architecture of course and Starbucks.....for Starbucks seemed to have taken over just about every vacant unit in the city!
Can I go back now please?
(Images clickable, more soon)
Monday, 31 December 2007
I'm back....
.... and sleepy. The last week has seen me travel from London to Cambridge, to Sussex, to Seville, to London and back to Cambridge...tomorrow the circle is complete when I drive the last leg back to London again!
It's been fun, we had a lovely Christmas and an amazing time in Seville....more when I've had time to get the 'back home' chores in hand and download whatever I captured on my camera.
In the meantime:
A HAPPY NEW YEAR and may it bring you at least some of whatever it is you wish for yourself.
It's been fun, we had a lovely Christmas and an amazing time in Seville....more when I've had time to get the 'back home' chores in hand and download whatever I captured on my camera.
In the meantime:
Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Gatwick...
....16.00hrs tomorrow, Seville, tapas, Rioja, sunshine and temperates in the high teens....tough life..... ;o)
Monday, 24 December 2007
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
I have absolutely no idea yet where I will be after today, Amsterdam, Spain somewhere maybe, France etc. etc. all possibilities or perhaps just complete laziness chilling at home, who knows, that's all part of the fun but in case I can't get online (or persuade my phone to post something here which it seems hard to persuade to do) best I wish you all a fab Christmas now.
I'll blog from wherever, whenever if I can! :o)
Have a really good one guys, peace, happiness, lots of beer and all that stuff to you all....
I'll blog from wherever, whenever if I can! :o)
Have a really good one guys, peace, happiness, lots of beer and all that stuff to you all....
Sunday, 23 December 2007
Ben Parkinson
We may or may not agree with the politics and the principles that results in any conflict but this report of Lance Bombadier Ben Parkinson's courage in the face of adversity, the like of which most of us will thankfully never encounter, deserves our respect, gratitude and pride.... and is maybe, when we think our own going gets tough, worth remebering.
Saturday, 22 December 2007
Great timing!
Not!
So we are headed to Christmas, there is a strong possibility I will be flying off on a short holiday somewhere and what happens? What happens is that my trusty, much loved camera died a sudden and complete death! FFS! That thing was like my right hand, I knew it inside out, it worked well, did it's job and I loved it.
It was old but it was fab, it was bought in the days when a digi compact set you back a fair few hundred quid and I never wanted it to die.....but it did, very unceremonoiusly!
Thank heavens for small lottery wins and the fall in price of technology is all I can say....at least I managed to get a new one, I would hate to be completely camera-less. All I have to do now is get to grips with it!
So we are headed to Christmas, there is a strong possibility I will be flying off on a short holiday somewhere and what happens? What happens is that my trusty, much loved camera died a sudden and complete death! FFS! That thing was like my right hand, I knew it inside out, it worked well, did it's job and I loved it.
It was old but it was fab, it was bought in the days when a digi compact set you back a fair few hundred quid and I never wanted it to die.....but it did, very unceremonoiusly!
Thank heavens for small lottery wins and the fall in price of technology is all I can say....at least I managed to get a new one, I would hate to be completely camera-less. All I have to do now is get to grips with it!
Thursday, 20 December 2007
Wednesday, 19 December 2007
Getting there
I know, I know, I have been a very bad blogger recently, in fact I haven't been a blogger at all as is appallingly very evident by my recent lack of anything new here, not even so much as a silly cat post!
It's the Christmas rush that is to blame, or rather my complete and utter lack of organisation during the run up, resulting in a manic dash at the very last minute. There was a time in my life that everything was done by the beginning of December....those days are long gone!
I have at last though got it together and managed to get some semblence of Christmas sorted out. The cards are written (ok, all 10 of them, another of my poor points) and the final gift is wrapped, I even managed to decorate the tree that had stood sadly naked in my parents living room for too long. I seem to have spent every moment I haven't been working in one shopping centre or another deserately searching for the ever elusive inspiration but finally it is done....all I have to do now is pack it all up, for my Christmas will be elsewhere.
As yet I have no idea where 'elsewhere' will be but I finish work for ten days on Friday and if I'm a lucky girl my Christmas might begin with a flight.
Friday can't get here soon enough! :o))
It's the Christmas rush that is to blame, or rather my complete and utter lack of organisation during the run up, resulting in a manic dash at the very last minute. There was a time in my life that everything was done by the beginning of December....those days are long gone!
I have at last though got it together and managed to get some semblence of Christmas sorted out. The cards are written (ok, all 10 of them, another of my poor points) and the final gift is wrapped, I even managed to decorate the tree that had stood sadly naked in my parents living room for too long. I seem to have spent every moment I haven't been working in one shopping centre or another deserately searching for the ever elusive inspiration but finally it is done....all I have to do now is pack it all up, for my Christmas will be elsewhere.
As yet I have no idea where 'elsewhere' will be but I finish work for ten days on Friday and if I'm a lucky girl my Christmas might begin with a flight.
Friday can't get here soon enough! :o))
Sunday, 16 December 2007
Jeez....
.....life has suddenly become manic in the pre-Christmas rush!
I will catch up with everything soon....
I will catch up with everything soon....
Thursday, 13 December 2007
Odd aint it....
...this life malarky?
You know those rare moments, when out of the blue from the haze of confusion and questions that usually muddle one's mind comes a sudden, clear realisation that hits squarely between the eyes and momenarily provides insight....well today, as I drove my white van (I do my thinking behind the wheel of that van, maybe not a good time but hey...) I had one of those moments.
I was marvelling at the beauty that two days and nights of frost and sub zero temperatures had bestowed on the countryside, it was almost like snow, white covering every surface and glittering in the winter sunlight, amazingly intricate ice crystals clinging to every surface like tiny diamonds set against the backdrop of blue sky and fallen autumn leaves and I realised in that moment that for the last year or so life seems to have been about survival not living.
It feels as though I have had many personal mountains to climb, almost daily I find myself trying not to worry about one thing or another, not to allow myself to feel for fear of where that might lead me, not to look either side of my usual conciousness in case that raises further concerns. There have been some of my bleakest moments and blackest thoughts and I've had to fight hard sometimes for my sanity. It has been a time of very low low's but also some very high high's and I have survived but I don't want to merley survive, I want to live, I want to notice more of the good and the beauty around me and not get lost in the mire of my mind and my thoughts.
There are millions of people in this world who truly have to fight for their whole lives just merely to stay alive and survive, to put food in their mouths and to escape disease, famine and war and they bear difficulties as a matter of course, year in and year out, that we in the Western world can't even begin to imagine.
In comparison my mountains pale into insignifigance, that doesn't necessarily make them less painful to me but sometimes a sight of particular beauty, a small unexpected kindness, a reminder of just how much there is out there to enjoy, if only we take the time to look for it and to actually see it, allows us to see beyond the bounds of our usual and individual thought processes and be thankful for what we have, however little or much that might be in usually accepted terms.
You know those rare moments, when out of the blue from the haze of confusion and questions that usually muddle one's mind comes a sudden, clear realisation that hits squarely between the eyes and momenarily provides insight....well today, as I drove my white van (I do my thinking behind the wheel of that van, maybe not a good time but hey...) I had one of those moments.
I was marvelling at the beauty that two days and nights of frost and sub zero temperatures had bestowed on the countryside, it was almost like snow, white covering every surface and glittering in the winter sunlight, amazingly intricate ice crystals clinging to every surface like tiny diamonds set against the backdrop of blue sky and fallen autumn leaves and I realised in that moment that for the last year or so life seems to have been about survival not living.
It feels as though I have had many personal mountains to climb, almost daily I find myself trying not to worry about one thing or another, not to allow myself to feel for fear of where that might lead me, not to look either side of my usual conciousness in case that raises further concerns. There have been some of my bleakest moments and blackest thoughts and I've had to fight hard sometimes for my sanity. It has been a time of very low low's but also some very high high's and I have survived but I don't want to merley survive, I want to live, I want to notice more of the good and the beauty around me and not get lost in the mire of my mind and my thoughts.
There are millions of people in this world who truly have to fight for their whole lives just merely to stay alive and survive, to put food in their mouths and to escape disease, famine and war and they bear difficulties as a matter of course, year in and year out, that we in the Western world can't even begin to imagine.
In comparison my mountains pale into insignifigance, that doesn't necessarily make them less painful to me but sometimes a sight of particular beauty, a small unexpected kindness, a reminder of just how much there is out there to enjoy, if only we take the time to look for it and to actually see it, allows us to see beyond the bounds of our usual and individual thought processes and be thankful for what we have, however little or much that might be in usually accepted terms.
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
Wake up!
Whilst I assume it's highly unlikely that anyone with even the remotest of interest in things feline hasn't seen this already, it's so funny and so true that just in case you missed it it's here:
Sound on....enjoy :o)
Sound on....enjoy :o)
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