By yesterday afternoon......

.......PG had decided in his wisdom that it was more than appropriate that I get out of this flat for a time....my usual state of 'hermit' was not doing me good, a shoehorn was applied forcibly to my rear, I was ejected from my big fat leather chair in front of this machine without further ado and 'invited', without option, to partake of a 'mystery tour'.

I wasn't enthusiastic but duly complied, only too well aware that sitting moping and sad 24/7 was not healthy.

Thank heavens for PG's insistence, despite myself and my sadness the evening turned out to be very special, I forgot myself for a time, actually felt happy briefly,though of course in my obtuse way I felt guilty for doing so at the same time, guilty that I was enjoying myself when Poppy was so recently gone.

I was driven along country lanes to our destination, rabbits, birds, pheasants, beautiful Highland cattle and newly cut wheat fields lifting my spirits a little as we went.
Images clickable

Our destination was a little fishing harbour not far away. A place I have always liked but somehow rarely visited. PG had been there with a client in the morning and there had been at least half a dozen seals wallowing merrily and lazily. His hope was that they would still be there, I have long wanted to see them but thus far, despite it being a reasonably common occurrence, hadn't.

We parked the car up and made our way in the wind and sea air to the best fish and chip shop in the area, by the harbour. Suddenly, for the first time in days I was ravenous, no wonder really having not eaten more than a biscuit for best part of thirty hours!

Fish and chips were duly purchased and off we set to 'seal watch'.

Success....immediately it was apparent that the seals he had seen in the morning knew this fishing harbour was a wise spot to remain in, seal snacks a-plenty were readily available and to move on would be and unwise decision on their part!




And so we sat, chips in hand marveling at these such large and apparently ungainly looking creatures, big doleful eyes and shiny backs, wallowing, rolling lazily on their backs, barking happily to one another and intermittently catching the odd fish for their own supper. It was amazing, against the backdrop of the clam harbour, the rougher seas beyond the harbour wall and a dark blue falling dusk we just sat and watched and laughed at their 'performance', for a time all sad thoughts forgotten.


Darkness fell and we set of on our homeward journey, somehow rejuvenated a little, the respite from feeling sad lifting our spirits....it felt good.

The evening did not end there as circumstances would have it. We had barely walked through the door when a friend called begging for help with a computer problem....and asking could we call round sometime to fix it. Having enjoyed the distraction of getting out, my suggestion was that we do it now, it was only 9.30 and only a 15 mile drive, Off we set again, this time in the opposite direction.


I used to work with this couple, in fact blogged in support of one of them a while back, they are the nicest, kindest guys you could wish to meet, fab and hilarious company and two of those people who despite not having seen them for months you just kinda fit right back in with. Suffice to say the computer repair was hastily attended too and late into the night was sat chattering, playing games with the dog and catching up.

All things considered, and most unexpectedly it turned out to be a good days end, sadness temporarily put to the back of our minds, nature at it's best and the company of good friends.

As we fell into bed in the wee small hours of course, I gave into a small snivel but the feeling that a little corner had been turned was still there.


~ Sleep tight Poppy cat ~

Thank you

A big thank you to all of you who showed me such care and support yesterday in your comments and emails, knowing that so many people were thinking of Poppy yesterday and caring about her made a genuine difference and is greatly appreciated. I will, I promise, get to reply to each individually but for now I still can't quite face it.

Half of me this morning wants to talk about Poppy, the other half wants to try and not think about her, I have run the gamut of emotions, few of them nice, since yesterday afternoon, I thought I had long since prepared myself well for her demise, in the event it was another case of pride coming before a fall.

Suffice to say that most of the day dragged by in a blur, I have eyes like plumbs and one very small cat has left a very big gap both physically and emotionally in our lives.

I'll blog 'Poppy' when I can, there is so much I want to say about her but right now I can't.

This morning this flat feels very, very empty.............

The hardest post

We made the decision. The Poppy Cat died this afternoon in her own home and in our arms.

Sleep tight Poppy Cat.......you will always be in our hearts.


Poppy ~ October 1988.


Poppy ~ September 2005

Poppy ~ update

Sadly things are not looking so good this last week where 'Poppy cat' is concerned.

Almost a year ago when her kidney failure was diagnosed the vet gave her a few months if we were lucky, we didn't anticipate her making it to Christmas 2004

but she rallied spectacularly and did. From there on in she seemed to defy her expected prognosis and whilst she was obviously very old she pottered on happily.
Alas, the situation has changed quite dramatically this last week. Her weight loss and state of dehydration are more marked, her coat no longer even attempts to gleam and trying to get her to eat more than a tiny scrap is a feat of endurance. Standard cat food is now no longer and option, she will only consider entertaining 'people food' and then not often or with much interest. I have presented all manner of delicacies for her but even tuna fish meets with no interest the last day or two.

She has barely moved unless prompted, she has slept for 23 out of every 24 hours, she only purrs rarely, and whilst she can still perform an adequate enough jump to perch herself in the sun on the window sill, the 'quality of her life' issue is becoming uppermost in our minds.

Each time I got out or go to bed at night I say a quiet goodbye to her, half expecting, or maybe hoping, that she will just fall asleep and not wake up but I know that given the specifics of what ails her, that is highly unlikely. What is likely is that we are going to have to make the final decision. Cats just don't die in their sleep of kidney failure, it just doesn't happen. Her heart is still strong and her symptoms will become intolerable before the heart even considers enough is enough.

She is old I know...almost 17, I checked her birth date last night and I had got it one year out, she is not 18 as I thought but no matter, she has still done well, particularly considering how ill she was when I rescued her. Now thought, unless she rallies again which maybe she will, but on which I am not counting, I think we are talking days, if we are lucky perhaps a few weeks at best. The decision isn't going to be taken out of my hands much as I would like it to be and trying to decide when enough is enough for her is something I am struggling with. I couldn't consider leaving her miserable just so I don't lose her but ending her life and being sure it is not premature is not something that I am finding easy or simple.

Fcuk.

Oh, and P.S......

....not that I would dream of gloating....but I have the next three days off work! Yayyyyy.

Incidentally, that also means that should you be considering getting your blog re-designed at the frightfully reaonable price of just £16.65 ($30), I can turn it around for you in double quick time!

Ok...blatant but hey............

What a star!

As was documented on Sunday here, among the other aggravations that the day presented, my car fell to pieces on my homeward journey from work. Maybe 'fell to pieces' is a little of an overstatement but given it's young age and given the number of other bits that have dropped off it over the last few months it begins, to feel like it is barely serviceable for the main part.

So, as I was saying, something else parted company with the chassis on Sunday, namely the catalytic converter and I have since then been car-less whilst the guy who patiently does all the work on this rogue vehicle attempted to obtain for me a 'non dealer part', the Citroen part costing a kings ransom and best avoided!

Yesterday evening he called to say he had found one, it would be delivered to him today and he would get the job done sometime later. I pottered off to work in PG's car (that was an experience) and on my return found my car still in it's disintegrated state in front of the flat. I called him, only to discover that the promised part had not yet arrived with him, this was 17.00 hrs!

There was nothing to be done other than wait until morning so said the missing part could be 'chased'.

An hour later 'Mr wonderful mechanic man' called again to say that the cat had finally been delivered and that he would the job this evening. He duly arrived at gone six, put my car on the back of his trailer, drove off and returned just now..... in my mended car, complete with bright shiny new cat! Bear in mind here it is 20.00 hrs, well outside of normal trading.

"Shall I send you the bill" he said...."nope" said I...."hit me with it now, I can stand it" (or at least my credit card can, though only just). A bill was duly presented that also included his working on the brakes last week....this guy is just amazing, it is his sole business, a one man band and yet, of a bill totaling £237.00, only £40 of it was labour!!!!

This guy has in the past rescued me from work at 7 am on a Saturday, mended my brakes on the side of the road at night, opened his workshop at 8 pm to fixed a petrol leak so I could get to work the next day, nearly always fetches and carries my car to save me the trouble and he has kept PG's old 'shed' on the road and passing MOT tests (legally I might add) long after it should have hit the scrap heap.

So........who says all tradesmen are grumpy old gits hell bent on ripping us off? Many may be but this one certainly isn't......... what an absolute star!!

Scottish Wild Cat?

Ok, so hands she can manage, small rodents at a push and Scottish she may be, but a wild creature 'small cat' is most deffinately not!



N.B. I know, I know, just a picture barely counts as a post but gimme a break, it is after all only 05.20hrs. heh.

I object!

Or at least my body does.....and is!

I woke this morning in some trepidation that after the er, unusually active day I had yesterday my legs might not be particularly keen to operate in their usual fashion.

My fears were not realised, I hopped out of bed, ok, scrambled inelegantly but without pain at least, and got on with my day. I was feeling kinda proud of myself. "Ha!" I mentally preened, I may not be the 15 year old gymnast these days, I may be a little longer in the tooth than I would consider ideal but I can still 'cut it' in the running stakes! Run? Yeah I can run, no worries, I'm in good shape..... I can run like the wind and still show no ill effects!

Oh the humiliation. Having pointed my newly discovered physical abilities out rather gloatingly to PG, things began to rapidly and spectacularly disintegrate around my ears. As the day wore on the whole damn shooting match gave up. My legs acquired a state not too far removed from rigor mortis.... but with pain, my back likewise, my shoulder only barely better and one knee and one hip are playing somewhat less that delightful percussive sounds with each movement that is very tentatively attempted!

Things got yet still worse. I can almost accept the physical state of decrepit-ness but the mental state is just not acceptable. By lunch time my mind was refusing point blank to decipher almost any information thrown at it, and this was not information of rocket science proportions I might add. My IQ took a rapid tumble from it's usual 10 to minus 1 and I was struggling with basic things like understanding email. Really, I kept staring at the screen trying to formulate replies and then finding myself having to ask for explanations for the simplest of things! Too funny, if it hadn't been so goddamn aggravating!

Then I fell asleep! Out like a light, gone, my day off wasted in the land of nod!

This is outrageous, I know I know, I am perhaps past my prime but hells bells, all I did was run a while, this was not a marathon, not the Olympics, it was just running albeit at top wack and sustained but still, just running!

On waking I decided something had to be done, this condition of decrepit-ness is not good and so full of enthusiasm I suggested to PG that we go for a jog. I long since learnt that my current state of crippledom (sorry not a pc phrase I suppose but all the same appropriate) is best mended by more of the same.

His response was a resounding uh??? A relieved little smile on my lips gave the game away and another collapse on the sofa seemed the best way to go!!

Cretins, cops and cats

Today began as an other Sunday here in gemmaks-ville, I headed off into the sunrise feeling less than enamored at the prospect of nine hours in retail hell and hoping for a quiet day.

It was not to be, the morning passed uneventfully, I took an early lunch, treated myself to a new webcam, ate copious amounts of unhealthy chips and chocolate (well if you have to work on a Sunday at least make lunch a pleasure) and then went back to work.

Things deteriorated rapidly from there.

Not long after my return I noticed an 'undesirable' loitering with intent. His intent needless to say, being to permanently deprive my employer of goods he had not paid for. Unfortunately I have an almost sixth sense where these cretins are concerned, honed I assume by watching and detaining them as part of my living for years, some time back.

British law requires that before I can detain the perpetrator of a suspected crime I have to be able to account for his or her every move and thereby prove intent. Annoyingly in this case I knew I just didn't have enough of what the law requires to prosecute..... and had to watch him leave the store while I stood idly by. He knew I knew, I knew, he knew, I knew but there was damn all I could do and he smirked, as they do, as he walked by me and on his merry way Ugh!

All was not lost though. As is often the case with the cretinous shoplifter brigade, he was 'out of his face' and considered it a damn fine idea to repeat his performance half an hour later. As luck would have it I noticed him almost as he re-entered the store. This time I thought, "try it again sunshine and I've gotcha." Sure enough he tried it again and sure enough this time I had all the evidence I needed. No time for niceties, I dragged a passing colleague with me and we gave chase as the cretin made his exit, high value goods in hand, out of a fire exit, triggering the alarm as he went.

What followed can only be described as both successful and the ultimate proof that I am not as fit as I used to be! Hell, I used to run miles after these fools without a second though and without feeling like my lungs might just disintegrate at any moment. I was a competitive gymnast for years and running presented no problem. Today was very different! Today I ran like hell and I felt like hell! Twenty minutes we ran, and I mean really ran, after this guy whilst I had to give 'very nice police lady' in the control room a running commentary of where we were so that she could endeavour to get the police to the same place. My lungs felt like they would burst, my legs....well they were beyond jelly, I wasn't really aware of them and finally we got hold of our man. Sadly things became rather difficult at this point and feared for my young colleagues welfare I called it off. It's one thing to put myself in the position, it's another entirely to put someone else in it who isn't remotely familiar with the 'territory'.

The police arrived almost at this moment and among much sounding of sirens and flashing of lights they thankfully took up the chase. By this time it seemed that most of the neighborhood were on their doorsteps watching the commotion whilst all I could do was stand pathetically in one spot trying to breath and not collapse in an unfit and ungainly heap on the ground!.

In retrospect I am not so unimpressed with my body, I smoke, far too much, I am asthmatic and I don't any longer partake of a sport but my heart rate was back to normal within probably less than a minute.....not that bad under the circumstances.

Suffice to say the police locked up cretin a short while later, I crawled back to work to be met by the cops and to write statements etc. and then left for home....late!

My day aggravations did not end there. Barely out of sight of the store my car began to make an impressive but worrying noise, hotly pursued by a much less impressive noise as my cat (alytic converter) parted company with the rest of my car. Bear in mind her this car was in the garage having the brakes fixed yet again not three days ago. The mechanic said then that the cat was 'past it's best' but gave it about three months...ok, so he was right about the three, it did make it 3 days! There was no way in hell I was going to wait on the side of the road for hours for the RAC to rescue me so I drove home the 15 miles at 10mph to the sound of my engine blowing straight through and the remainder of the pipe dragging embarrassingly along the ground. The most amusing aspect was that despite my having my hazard warning lights flashing and driving at 10 mph other road users kept trying to indicate to me that something was wrong!!! Did they think I couldn't hear all the deafening racket around me? heh.

Eventually I made it home, ready only to sit down with a cup of coffee and chill but no.... it was not to be. I was met by small cat, rodent firmly lodged in mouth and chase number two ensued, this time by way of a rescue attempt. Rodent was duly rescued, small cat was duly miffed and my legs were duly done for!

I will no doubt, in due course, have the 'pleasure' of having to get suited and booted and trundle off to court to give evidence........but for now I'm going to do nothing more than put my feet up and eat chocolate!

Copy-cat

A little Saturday amusement after all the doom and gloom :o)

What's wrong with the world!

I woke up this morning cheerful, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and all was well with the world....only it wasn't and it isn't!

I'm genuinely struggling with this post, not because I don't know what to say but because I have too much to say, there is much anger and disenchantment with the world in me right now.

My early morning bliss was short lived as one after another of the confounded BBC news alert emails I subscribe too fell into my inbox, heralding more and more doom and gloom. Today I can understand why some choose not to listen to or read the news!

What has rattled my cage? Well a number of news items but one aspect of the situation in New Orleans specifically.

Katrina it seems has turned into a disaster of greater magnitude than even the doom merchants of the press predicted a few days back,
a once beautiful and historic city now under eight foot of water, hundreds of lives lost, thousands with no home to return too, a lifetime's possessions lost and innumerable individuals struggling to cope with a life that has suddenly thrown them into chaos and left them without the basic necessities of life, fresh water, food and a workable sewage system.

I for one can barely imagine how that must feel on a basic, individual level, let's face it, most of us here are 'up in arms' and feel our life has been halted if we suffer a power outage for more than twenty minutes!

The suffering of others is a great sadness but what saddens me more and in a very different way is the reaction of some to this situation. There are thousands no doubt making every effort to aid those in need, thousands more mobilised in any way possible to alleviate the problems being encountered by those affected by Katrina but there is a number, and it seems not such a small number who have seen it as an opportunity for selfish gain. I should, I know, be less naive but I can't help feeling anything other than surprise, horror and disgust at the actions of those looting not only shops and commercial premises, but holding at gunpoint others in their homes who have also suffered the same fate at the hands of this storm!

I can almost understand that what amounts to theft from a commercial property is seen by some as acceptable under these circumstances and I can can excuse and understand those in desperate need of food or water the theft of those items from shops ........but WTF is going on with human beings when they start to threaten the lives of others with a firearm in these circumstances??!!! I am incredulous, I shouldn't be I know, but I am. What happened to care and consideration, to helping our fellow man and to standing together in times of crisis? I just can't imagine what motivates someone under these circumstances to behave in such a manner. I try hard to see good in most situations and people but the perpetrators of these actions are no better than wild animals, devoid of conscience and the very essence that is humanity.

I am rarely angry and though it doubtless makes me little better than those I am condemning right now I would like to see the look on the face of one of these individuals should I, or another, ram the butt of an automatic weapon into the back of their neck!

Rant over.

My thoughts go to those who are suffering, helping one another and taking care of each other.

Pride comes before a fall

I've sat here complacent for months now as I watched one after another in the blogosphere fall victim to a bloggers scourge. It was more by luck than any judgment that I too was not targeted, but still I sat here in stupidity and did nothing.

Well those days are over now, pride preceded my fall...... for last night the comment spammers got me! Gah.

It is thus I now apologise for the inclusion on my Blogger comments of the hugely aggravating 'verification' system and the disallowing of anonymous commenting. I tried to avoid both but the time has come I am afraid!

My problems with comment spam are exacerbated by that other necessary aggravation, Nortons.

Nortons it seems on my system has long had an 'issue' with the 'comment delete' trash can icon....come hell or high water it just will not allow it to show. Those of you who have suffered my ramblings from the beginning may well remember my weeks, nay months of attempts at solving the problem but it was never to be. No matter how I fiddled with settings, how often I uninstalled and re-installed, regardless of which version I used, nothing would allow my icon to appear!

Disabling Nortons entirely, not that I like to, still did not do the trick, the only solution was to uninstall it completely, yeah right and I'm gonna do that for fun (not)...... and so now, having given up the unequal struggle, in this age of technology comment spam is a particular annoyance for I in the UK have to mail Lisa 4000 miles away in the US, get her to log into my blog and delete such comments for me!

Ridiculous but true.

So, my apologies once again for the inclusion of the verification in Blogger comments, I know, I know, I hate it too but it's the lesser of two evils and there is always Haloscan.

And while we are on the subject, despite months of trying already if anyone has any clever techie idea as to how I persuade Nortons to 'play the game' I would be very grateful!

How best to not sell your product!

I see little in life that makes me do a 'double take', very little shocks me and even less offends me but just occasionally something happens that leaves me completely amazed!

Today was a 'day job' day and on arriving it was immediately apparent that my employer seems to have begun renting space to an 'out of house' company for advertising. In the foyer was a stand, you know the type, a sales person and a badly constructed advertising hoarding, where as you make your escape from retail hell you will be accosted by said sales person in their over zealous endeavors to sell you some item you don't want. A conservatory, double glazing, AA membership, whatever.....enough said you know the kind!

So as the day progressed the stand remained empty and was variously mutilated and investigated by small uncontrolled children until around mid morning when the allocated salesperson duly arrived.

I promise you, I tried my damnedest to retract my claws before writing this post but it was to no avail.... it is just not possible to describe this 'lady', and I use the word extremely loosely here, with claws retracted!

Not the dapper suited gent or reasonably turned out woman one expects was our fate but instead an individual who at kindest I will describe as 'interesting'.

This lady was indeed clad in a black suit, though the skirt was barely more than a belt and the blouse underneath barely concealed anything at all, she had coupled this ensemble with a pair of the highest stiletto shoes one could imagine, she sported long straight peroxide white hair and a blood red lipstick that was masterfully applied to give the impression she had lips of the 'sexy pout or heavily botox'd type rather than just a normal, run of the mill mouth. At first glance she could have been 25 years old....closer inspection made her probably in her very late fifties, with skin that has obviously seen a little too much UV over the years and teeth you don't want to have described!

That was that I thought, myself and a colleague had a little 'claws out snigger' and got on with our day.

Things got worse...a lot worse.

Lunch time arrived and I made my way to a food store opposite to gather vitals and a newspaper. On my way back I noticed the aforementioned delightful 'babe' lounging against the store front smoking and looking for all the world like it was not AA membership or a conservatory she was selling but something rather more questionable. No chance it seemed that she might consider her employers reputation, or ours for that matter and take her merry little self off round a corner then! Lounging began to bore her and she tottered around on her heels in that manner women do who can't walk in the chosen footwear, with her rear suck out at an odd angle and her heels dragging!

She struck up a short conversation with a passer-by, fag hanging elegantly in gob and blowing smoke over her unsuspecting victim and then, and this is where I did the double take, as her conversation ended she tottered towards a rubbish bin, all heels and lipstick. My thought here she was that she going to attempt a little arson and throw her cigarette into it but no...... it was worse. This 'lady,' directly in front of the store and in full view of umpteen lunch time shoppers, spat. I won't regale you with the details but I mean really spat, this was an effort that a time served miner with 30 years of coal dust in his lungs would be proud of, and she treated us to this not just once but twice..........nice!!!!

Come on, I know that her job doesn't attract an enviable salary but surely the company she is working for can do better than that little display in an effort to sell their product!

Look who's talking!

She may be almost 18 years old, she may be not in the best of health and there may be only one tooth left in evidence but Poppy can still make her feelings only too well known!