What's been keeping me?

You may well ask, given that my blogging has been pretty much non existent of late!

Life really is what's been keeping me from here and whilst I know there are those that will say that's a good thing (and maybe it is to some degree) much of it hasn't been so good in actuality and I kinda miss blogging regularly. I've done it for so long now it's part of me and it's odd to be so absent. Hey ho, needs must as they say, I have little choice in the matter.

In the main it has been work and taking care of my mother that have taken over my life, the former I enjoy, in fact I love being back at work but the threat of redundancy looms already, wouldn't you know it! That said, recent sad circumstances mean that perhaps that threat is slightly less, at least for the time being so I have my fingers crossed thought I wish the possibility wasn't for such sad reasons.

My mum, well it wouldn't be appropriate for me to put too much detail here, she is a very private lady but there have been times when I thought I really couldn't cope any longer or that in my efforts to cope, my own physical and mental health would suffer. Well they have, I have raised blood pressure for the first time in my life and a raised heart rate but I am finding and learning new coping strategies and one way or another I will find a way.

It seems odd now and perhaps selfish but when I was nursing my dad, somehow I envisaged that once the inevitable had happened I would be able to start re-building my life and things would get less stressful. How wrong was I?! Nursing him through the horrors of cancer were, in comparison to what I am dealing with now, relatively straightforward. Yes it was harrowing, yes, it was sad and yes I knew that at the end of it there was the loss and upheaval but regardless of all that it wasn't as difficult by a long chalk, as I am finding this current set of circumstances.

But, I plod on. Mostly I feel completely trapped but I try to keep the faith and tell myself that somehow I will escape and that nothing lasts forever.


On happier, or at least less serious, things;

I appear to have got myself embroiled in a man situation that I'm a little unsure of, time will tell I suppose but right now I'm feeling a little antsy about it all....however, we have a date on Sunday so all will become evident soon.

I have recently also been contacted again, out of the blue, by a guy I saw just once a few months ago but it didn't get any further at that point. I would tell you more but as I recall he has this URL so for now....shhhhhh ;)

And lastly, my very stupid decision to give the stalker a second chance finally seems be resolved and all contact has ceased. Phew!

I think that's about it, my current life in a nutshell (or a blog post)....not exactly hunkydory to say the least but when things finally improve ( and they will, I have to believe they will) at least this last eighteen months will have taught me, if nothing else, to really appreciate the better times!

Oh...and just in case whoever is in charge of dishing out the better times is listening, I'm ready, I can handle some good bits now, really, honestly, I can! ;)