Stunned!!

I had some 'news' recently, provided to me by someone who I admire for their consideration and care. When you hear the news that may seem an odd thing to say but you may understand and those of you who know me well will understand why I say that.

Those of you who read here regularly will recall my unceremonious dispatch from what was a very important relationship in my life about eighteen months ago and the subsequent car wreck my life became. I won't link it here again, it's consigned to history now and I won't name he who committed the deed because that is perhaps unfair but if you know you know.

So...this 'news', bear in mind here that at the time I would have given anything to have had him ask me to marry him....well 'Mr I will never get married I don't believe in the concept and it would be hypocritical, no way, no how, not ever' is getting married or has already got married!!

I don't know too many specifics and I don't want too.

At the 'point of impact' (an email while sat in a coffee shop) you could have knocked me down with a feather, in fact worse than that, I reacted rather badly by spontaneously saying out loud "F*cker" - hopefully not too many overheard!

For a minute or two I didn't really know which way was up and I will admit the 'ouch factor' was very evident, I was pretty much stunned but I quickly recovered my composure and got something of a grip. The reason I say I have nothing but admiration for the person who took the decision to tell me something so difficult is because for me it has finally drawn a hard line under the whole sorry business and reiterates much that I have come to understand about the guy involved and what I believed as opposed to the reality . People change I know but others are just not as honest as one would like to think.

I would like to be a big enough person to wish him hasppiness but I'm not sure I am, I do however hope he has finally and honestly found what he is looking for, if only to avoid someone else going through what I did....I was not the first by a long chalk. Some relationships just aren't meant to be perhaps and I apparently wasn't 'the one' but he had some p[retty heavy duty history where any kind of commitment was concerned and maybe I just should have known better from the start.

Hey ho.....