Friends of Mystery Blogger

It is I, Mystery Blogger, again (Sorry!).

So where was I? Oh yes, just checking my email, Spam; Spam; Spam (you want eggs with that?). But what's purplexing me is how do they know? I mean, how do they know my Penis needs to be bigger, stronger and last longer? I haven’t told them (notice I’m not actually denying this, there’s no point, the whole world seems to know anyway!). Ummm… gotta be one of the Ex.’s I recon, women are like that, their disappointment has motivated some twisted cyber revenge plot!

OK but even worse than the ‘Take A Happy View On Impotence’ emails are the ones that aren’t Spam, the emails from your friends that are complete and utter nonsense ‘Send this on to 200 people and little girl in Sarajevo won’t die of Leukaemia’… Or even worse, ‘Pass this angel [Insert Fluffy Picture here] on, send it to all your good friends online to show them you are true friends’… FFS… Stop pressing the ‘Send’ button you retards I don't give a toss! (Deep Breath, calming down now...).

Anyways I'm tired of all those sissy 'friendship' emails that always sound so gay. So below is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. No cutesy little smiley faces here just the stone cold truth of friendship.

1. When you are sad: I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue: I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile: I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared: I will take the piss out of you about it, every chance I get.
5. When you are worried: I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining and get your sad ass sorted!
6. When you are sick: Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.
7. When you fall: I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...

Remember, friendship is like peeing in your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth... Oh no I've started doing that sentimental bollox now, I must get a grip. OK, when life hands you a lemon my friend, just get some Gin and Tonic in and call me... Easy… :o)

Ciao Ciao
MB
Confused From Cambridge
I Blog There4 I Am