Paranoia!

Twice a year the letting agents that manage the flat we live in send someone round by appointment to check that we are keeping the property in the manner stated on the lease. We are of course, those who have read this blog will know I am on the OTT side anyway when it comes to being clean and tidy but nonetheless, in the sure and certain knowledge that today was 'inspection' day I thought it best I make an extra effort.

Not knowing what time of day this visit was to take place I began early getting the place absolutely spick and span......you know, doing all those little jobs you always 'mean' to do, like getting the carpet absolutely pristine, cleaning the outside of the windows not just the inside, giving the paintwork a quick once over and polishing the laminate flooring rather than just giving it a quick look at a mop.

Now when I say we adhere closely to the rules laid down in the lease, did I forget to mention um...just the one anomaly?

This is a 'no smoking' property, or at least that's what it is supposed to be, in practice though that is very much not the case. The pair of us smoke like troopers.

Mindful of this most wicked and heinous of breaches and only too aware of the lingering smell etc. I had the windows and doors open all day despite there being a distinct chill in the air, I burned scented candles, I squirted copious amounts of doubtlessly environmentally very unfriendly air fresheners about the place, I utilised all manner of 'clean smelling' solutions for my cleaning activities and worst of all, I had to trail up and down three floors to access the great outdoors (ok, I took the lift back up), every time I wanted a demon cigarette!

.......only to find that when the guy finally arrived he wasn't here more than 15 seconds and his inspection was so perfunctory that I doubt he would have noticed had there been an elephant parked in the middle of the living room!

Next time I won't be quite so paranoid!