Before I start....

.....I will apologise for what is about to come but this is my blog and right now I need somewhere to just shout/scream/vent call it whatever you will!

So here goes:

*&%$F*UCK*&%$F*CK*&%$*F*CK&*^%*


Maybe I'm just having a particularly bad day, maybe I've just had enough temporarliy, maybe I'm just being pathetic and feeling sorry for myself but whatever it is it's not a good day in gemmak's-ville today. Ok, so a proportion of my life recently has left a little to be desired but today sucks big time.<

I don't feel too well, my job drove me nuts today, I miss Tilly more than I ever imagined, I feel lonely and I'm thoroughly pissed off. I seem to take one step forward and two backward most of the time and just once in a while an easy day or something working out without me having to fight would be freakin amazing. Jesus, even a whole two days without tears would be a treat.

Yes I know I'm being selfish, there are plenty out there with problems and pain that would put my problems and upsets into very sharp perspective but today maybe I need to be selfish for a little while.....get it off my chest or something. My ability for some positivity seems to have deserted me temporarily and I'm utterly fed up.

Ok, rant over....I'll go crawl under a stone until I'm in better humour.

Tomorrow is another day......
yeah I know, probably it won't be much better but maybe my ability to cope with it will have improved.