Ain't life strange....

....and some!

When I chose my most recent path in life I knew it was gonna be tough, I knew the logistical problems I faced would test me but I don't honestly think I really appreciated just how far they would test me.

Dealing with the practical aspects of my sudden slide into bankruptcy, of being technically homeless and of being unemployed is relatively easy...the emotional side however is a whole different story.

I had the misfortune yesterday of having to deal yet again with one of my creditors, this is a big high street institution though the manner in which they try to recoup their imminent loss smacks of back street loan sharks....ok, so as yet they haven't 'sent round the heavies' but my phone rings an obsessive number of times and worse still my parents have to field various borderline abusive calls to their number.

I can accept they feel they have every right to harass me (though in law they don't) but they most certainly don't have a right to constantly bombard my parents phone line. Yes, I have explained countless times to countless faceless individuals in an Indian call center please, I would like to help you if only I could understand you that this is nothing to do with my parents...on countless times I have been assured their number has been removed from all records and then what?....not 6 hours passes without yet another call to the same number! FFS.

What part of 'this is not my number' are they having the problem with I wonder?!

In desperation yesterday I approached someone further up the chain in an attempt to get my message through. She, whoever she was, apparently customer facing staff at this bank aren't obliged to identify themselves in any way, politely condescendingly informed me of the down side to bankruptcy, like I wasn't already aware..... and finished her speech with the little 'gem', that being a bankrupt did nothing for one's pride!!! Was she under some mis-apprehension then that I had any pride left?

So magnify that four fold (yup, four creditors), add the joy of having no money, the DSS are to take yet a further four weeks to 'sort me out', getting a job is complicated by all this in ways I can't go into here, the not knowing where I'll be living or how sometime soon..... and my reasons for feeling a little insecure and pissed at life from time to time start to become clear.

Half of the time I feel hopeful and positive, the other half I seem to have acquired a predilection for dissolving into tears or a pathetic state of negativity.

Hey...but don't they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? and WTF, it's Friday, who cares until Monday! :o)

Rant over.