Tampon Tilly

As the title suggests this post is not for the faint of heart nor for those men among you who are a little delicate where the 'feminine situation' is concerned, can I suggest that if you fall into one of these categories you click the little red cross, top right, at this point and save yourself the trauma of what is to come. Don't say you wern't warned!

For the sake of decency and family audiences I have considered for days on whether to share with you this tale of madness and mayhem but with a little push from a fellow blogger, who has already been privy to it, we was decided that in retrospect it just had to be told. I will however endeavor to choose my words carefully!

This is of course another a tale of Tilly-ness, thought she has on the occasion I speak of exceeded all expectations of madness and proved beyond doubt she lacks any understanding whatsoever of the basic rules of decency!

I will set the scene for you.

It is Saturday morning 5.30 am and I am in my usual state of bleary eyed-ness preparing for a pre-Christmas day in retail. I am alone, PG is working nights, I have already breakfasted, fed the cats, made the bed and spent half an hour disentangling one manic kitten from computer wiring and detaching her from curtains. I am feeling a little harassed!

So I proceed onto the stage of daily ablutions, I shower and attend to the drying process.

It is here, those of you with a weak constitution but who carried on reading regardless should consider making your exit.

I am 'blessed' on this cold, dark morning with the 'monthly feminine but seems like bi-weekly delight' we woman all so look forward to, I am feeling a little delicate and not entirely compis mentis, my mind is wandering as I continue onto the next stage of the ablutions, I am not paying attention....I should have been, for had I done so I may well have noticed Tilly lurking with intent!

I am naked, straight out of the shower and cold and I have adopted the usual somewhat inelegant and unstable but necessary pose, as I progress to the er.....appliance of 'protection', which as you know involves a piece of string.

Kittens....String....can you see where this is going?

I am no more than half way through this procedure when apparently from nowhere Tilly, having caught sight of the tempting looking string launches herself at it and makes a successful grab for her quarry!!!!!

I promise you this is not a good situation, in fact it is very un-good. Her aim, not yet honed with years of practice, is not all it could have been, only one claw makes contact, though yanking horribly as it does, and in a split second she scrabbles wildly for a better purchase on her goal, fails dismally and slides, claws still drawn down my inner thighs!

Please, I assure you you don't need further details, for the sake of decency I will leave you to your own imaginations at this point but suffice to say the incident woke me up , minor 'injuries' were sustained and you will understand why it is only in retrospect that I find the incident amusing!!!!