And the prize for customer from hell goes to...

This weeks two days in the world of retail was particularly challenging! To be strictly correct it was actually only one day. Saturday saw me ailing and I called in sick, something I hate doing but on this occasion was unavoidable. Sunday was madness.

Anyone who has the misfortune to be employed in this field will know only too well that there is a very definite clash between the need to provide an excellent service and to maintain the approval of shareholders. The two things are not good bedfellows........an excellent level of customer service is difficult in the extreme to provide with the skeleton staffing levels dictated by the need to maximise profits!

In the main I enjoy the high pressure environment and it's challenges though I'm not sure I could cope at that 'pitch' full time as I used to. For 8 hours solid we are at full stretch endeavoring to 'keep it all together'. I wonder at times if some who walk through our doors have any idea whatsoever of what is involved in a modern retail environment. Historically it is considered a job for those who can do nothing more professional, perhaps that used to be the case but it is by no means true in this day and age. Even to operate a checkout in the modern retail environment requires considerable skills in my opinion, but yet much of 'Joe Public' still appears to imagine shop staff are there in the main to be abused and condescended too.

The specifics of yesterdays experience are both annoying and amusing at once. The phrase 'If you didn't laugh you would cry' springs to mind.

First I must explain that this outlet is a very large, self service, warehouse type establishment. We retail, among other things, much technical equipment and are expected by customers to know everything about everything. We are talking thousands of products here and sadly perhaps, the days of small shops where the proprietor was a specialist in his or her field has gone. We do our best but we are not trained technicians, those of us who have been in the business for years have gradually acquired considerable product knowledge and the company provide some training but we are not tradesmen.One cannot recruit specialist staff into a retail environment at the rates of pay on offer.

My job specifically is it to keep the checkouts running smoothly and queue-lessly, to man the front of house desk, from where the rest of the store is controlled during opening hours. I deal with all enquiries, requests for information and process refunds and the more complicated transactions. For the most part of the day I am directing other staff, via a tannoy, to points in the store they are required to be, shouting instructions to checkout operators with problems, along a line of tills, holding at least one phone on my shoulder, dealing with a queue of customers who need my specific attention and trying to complete a pile of paperwork that a computer spewed out overnight. The adrenalin flows freely, if it didn't I would be reduced to a snivelling heap within 10 minutes.

We have a very progressive refund policy that allows for a full, no questions refund within a long period should a customer change their mind. We don't adhere closely to it, rather in the name of goodwill we have a tendency to overlook most of the criteria and refund within much wider limits. Something that in my opinion,having worked in retail security, is only encouraging dishonesty but what do I know?

Against this background you will perhaps understand why yesterday the sight and sound of a particular family walking through the doors en-mass filled me with dread. All shops have them....the people you just know are going to present problems and test your patience and personal communication skills to the limit. This family are notorious to us. They recently emigrated here, are very well educated, financially very comfortable and an absolute pain in the ass. We are not Harrods or Harvey Nicks and yet they demand, very rudely, something akin to an army of personal shoppers. They demand complete attention, require that I recall individual staff members that they prefer to deal with from lunch breaks to serve them, seat themselves at some point in the store and proceed to direct as many of us as they can command to attend to their every whim. Add to that, a large proportion of the goods they purchase they invariably return for refund,up to a year after purchase having nigh on destroyed them and rendered them unsaleable. Yesterday was no different. 27 items in various states of disarray where dumped unceremoniously on my desk along with a pile of very questionably stained receipts, dating back almost a year, with a loud demand that I sort it out.

I know from experience this lady will question my every move, she will check that I am refunding for the correct items, question each and every price, add them herself to be satisfied that I or the technology have made no mistake, she will never have the correct credit card to hand and all the time rattle complaints in my ear! Through out this delightful exchange I have to maintain absolute politeness, remain understanding and sympathetic to her every complaint, listen to her argue with her husband and 30 something daughter (who still incidentally refers to her annoyingly as 'mummy'), take other directions and complaints from said husband and daughter and attempt to appease the by now growing annoyance of a large queue of customers forming behind her.

That is the bit that really angers me.....in the real world surely this woman knows this is a self serve outlet and that she can't or shouldn't demand such special attention, her behavior is selfish in the extreme. She shows an utter disregard for all those other shoppers waiting patiently in her wake, they too need attention but for this lady that is of no consequence whatsoever. For her with her arrogant manner, they are not worthy of any consideration. Each time she walks though the door the majority of staff become embroiled in the scene, despite attempts at escape and for her, the rest can go hang!

Sadly the bottom line is that she spends a lot of money with us and by virtue of that we have to accept her obnoxious visits, I disagree. Those customers that spend less are no less important and deserve our attention just the same. Whilst retail is generally understaffed one cannot staff to unprofitable levels and we can only stretch ourselves so far. We should not be giving special treatment to someone purely on the strength of their spending power but the reality is that we have to.

I'm sorry, but where the f*** do people like this learn such outrageous attitudes?....I just don't get it!