Ever ready!!

A battery, nothing unusual about that I hear you say. Well it might seem slightly more unusual when I tell you where it came from.

This battery came from the doorbell at my parents house, it was removed only last week. The doorbell was replaced because said battery had expired, died, was no more.

Still nothing odd, other than maybe it seems a little extreme to replace the whole thing for the sake of the battery?

Ok...what is odd and pretty impressive by today's standards is that the bell was replaced because this kind of battery is no longer available.....the one pictured had been in the doorbell and working up until a few days ago, since 1968!!! That's 40 years...never replaced, it just carried on all that time!!!!!

And yes, we have had visitors over the years, it was used! ;o)

Hmmmm....and today's batteries last about a week if you get a good one!

Is nothing ever straightforward?

I need to find a way to write this post a little 'delicately' and to that end I will try carefully to choose my words but forgive me if I fail a little.....diplomacy has never been one of my strongest points!

So....where to start with this delicate subject?

Here goes. I was off work yesterday, sick, yes really and honestly, no sickie, no ruse, I was poorly, my cold got the better of me and at five in the morning when I got up for work I just knew I wasn't up to it....so I went back to bed.

Unfortunately I also had an appointment for one of the 'women tests' at the quacks, you know the one, 'the routine, once every three years, lie back and relax please while I put the fear of God into you with an enormous speculum test'. I know, we none of us look forward to it but it's necessary and it's a simple procedure, right?

Wrong!

It's a simple procedure if one's anatomy is where it all should be, which in my case, isn't the damn case (wouldn't you know it). Apparently I have a very tilted womb, it wasn't always and they don't know why it is now, it's usually caused by a trauma i.e being involved in a car accident....I haven't been involved in anything that could cause that kind of injury but nonetheless it ain't quite where it ought to be!

This is problematical for the poor doctor attempting to carry out aforementioned procedure, despite my always fore warning them. Believe me I have suffered some amusing debacles in the past and what usually takes 5 minutes seems always to run into half an hour or more in my case. Ugh.

This time was no different, out came the 'alternative' and more scary apparatus of torture, suitable for my apparent deformity, and after the usual kind words telling me to relax (who the hell is gonna relax half naked in a cold room when someone is coming at your most delicate of regions with something that looks like it's stolen from a meccano kit, I ask you?) she got on with the job....only she didn't, and that's the problem.

I'm not a nurse or a doctor, I don't know too much of the specifics and I don't know that I want to but I do know that historically for me, and this experience was no different, it takes way too much faffing and fiddling around in there to try and locate the 'apparatus' where it needs to be located and get the job done. To be precise 25 minutes on this occasion....not my idea of fun, particularly when I already felt like crap.

Eventually it was done and by her own admission the doctor declared she was 'quite glad that was over'......she was glad??? Hello??? and that I had been a star given the difficulty and that was that, off I went to my car.

....and I drove home fine, if feeling a little yukky, walked through the back door happily........and promptly fainted!

Global confusion?

On a day when snow (yayyy) is forecast for later in the week I find this in the garden:


So, has spring sprung and the forecasters are just wrong again or is it that the global warming malarkey has everything a little confused?!

The perfect marriage!!! (for 30 days)

If you only read one blog post this week read THIS ONE

I'm not sure if I should laugh, cry or scream but whatever, it's the ultimate proof that the world really has gone mad!

Man flu!

Ok, there are two of us here, Fletch and myself, it's not been the best of weekends from a health point of view, there has been much sniffling, coughing, sneezing and other associated unpleasantries going on. We are not well.

One significant difference is apparent tho, I'll give you one guess who is making the unending cups of coffee, who has been asked in that oh so familiar to we women 'poorly man voice', "please will you get me my laptop from the car babe" (three floors down and back up again in the cold) and who is fighting with the broken washing machine....yup the difference is that I have a cold and himself has the dreaded and much more severe and debilitating of infections, MAN FLU! ;o)

It's my turn...

.....to have the dreaded lurgy it would seem. For a fortnight I have felt 'under the weather' like some unpleasentness was about to
invade my physiology....and finally yesterday it did.....with bells on.

Bleugh :o/

Nothing startling, the usual, snottiness, hacking cough, sore bits and a general feeling of overall nastiness but I'm not the worlds greatest patient, I'm feeling sorry for myself, somewhat pathetic and.....would someone please pass me the Benylin!

I wonder...

... Can I blog from my phone? Lets see...

My fifteen minutes of fame....not!

My post yesterday on the subject of John Hogan, today caused me an hour or two of slight panic when the B.B.C. got a hold of it!

Halfway through the day a B.B.C. researcher emailed me to ask if I would be prepared to take part in a World Service radio broadcast, 'World have your say', on the subject of 'Is insanity any excuse for murder'.

I didn't really take it seriously but mailed him back late in the afternoon saying yes I would....almost immediately he called me, chatted to me for a few minutes and then said he would like to try and fit me into the programme if he could...to air in 45 minutes time, from that point!

Jeez! Vallium anyone? ;o)

Ok, joking aside, it's a serious subject and one I feel passionately about so I agreed to wait by my phone while the show aired, ready in case they could find a spot for me and my opinions.

As it turned out it didn't happen, my five minutes of fame didn't materialise and without doubt those who did take part in the programme were way better qualified than myself to do so.

I may not have made it to broadcast but nonetheless it's kinda pleasing just to know that my little blog got noticed at all .......and I have to confess that in the end, my relief at not having to string a coherrent sentence together live on air was tangible!

Sorry Mr Warhol...it just wasn't my time!

Verdict - John Hogan

Though I am sure there are many who will disagree with me strongly, I am glad to hear that a verdict of not guilty has been returned in the case of murder against John Hogan, the man who leaped from a balcony with his children in Crete in 2006, resulting in the death of his son.

That in no way suggests that I don't understand the seriousness of the act or the anguish caused to all involved but rarely it seems is depression truly understood, in this case it seems unusually that it was.

The quote by a representative of the charity Sane at the bottom of the linked page (and repeated below) sums it up:

"We welcome the verdict in the trial of John Hogan, and the judge's acknowledgement of his disturbed mental state and his need for psychiatric treatment.

"This case highlights how extraordinary mental pain can tragically distort a person's perception and judgment.

"While in no way underestimating the terrible consequences of John Hogan's actions we should not automatically condemn him without considering the depth of mental anguish he was suffering.

"Severe depression is not simply a case of feeling 'blue' and those at its mercy cannot 'pull themselves together'. It is a serious illness and a debilitating psychiatric disorder that changes personalities and wrecks lives."

(Un)Health & (Un)Safety!

My place of work is a nightmare at times and at no time more so than last week!

There was constant 'infighting' and fallings out among staff and management, I use the term 'management' very loosely here because not one of them has the slightest ability or training in management and one in particular has even less in the way of people skills than the average bull in a china shop, the result being that two people did a 'no show' for a couple of days and the rest of us had to work harder and in an atmosphere that was somewhat less than congenial!
I tried my best not to become embroiled in the carrying-ons, thank the Lord I am on the road for the most part of the day (though driving through floods constantly and spending eight hours a day soaked to the skin did little to lift my spirits) but I couldn't help but say my piece on one issue.

For two hours before I hit the road I have the unenviable task of making an array of boringly filled sandwiches, for this a sealing machine is required, we have a sealing machine, just the one mind you, the other two are defunct and seem to have remained that way, the sealing machine seals very well, nay it seals exceptionally well, so where you might wonder is my problem.

Take a look at this picture (very poor quality I'm afraid, you will understand why it was taken 'poste haste' on my phone in secret) and you might just begin to understand where my complaint is coming from. This is the mains cable on the sealing machine....that sits on a wet, steel work surface all day long!!!! (and incidentally the inner insulation is damaged too)


Apparently I am being picky in making a complaint!!!

Add to that someone saw fit to put descaler in the water urn without bothering to put a notice on it to that effect. Yours truly arrived back at the premises cold and wet, made a cup of coffee, took two mouthfuls before realising just how horrible it tasted and the only response offered was that 'at least if my arteries are 'furred up' they would now be clear!!!

FFS!!!

Ok....I'm looking for another job!

I'm getting too old for this!

Result! It's a Monday and I'm not at work! And I'm not ill! Yayyyyy!

The reason? Fletch's birthday.....and a very heavy weekend of partying preceded by a suitable degree of forethought that today we would require a 'day of recovery' and hence a days holiday leave. It's a good feeling, Monday morning, the world is back to work and we ain't! ;o)

So, the sleepless weekend: A hundred mile drive to Cambridge on only three hours sleep the night before and then a mad night out in St Ives with friends, much beer, much food and much hilarity.

Bed for a few few hours then on the road again to the South coast, another two hundred miles and another night of hilarity, beer and this time tapas. Sunday, the return two hundred miles and finally a whole nights sleep!

It was a damn good weekend, a distraction and relaxation (mental if not physical) from the normal day to day hassles, I even got to sit on the beach (in strong winds and drizzle I hasten to add) and fit a rapid moment of retail therapy in, but really I am getting way to old for all the partying malarkey, or at least for whole weekends of it.

The tell tale signs of this I suspect were that and there were more than a few moments when curling up in a corner for a snooze seemed a very attractive prospect and that despite chastising myself for the reaction I found myself aggravated (just once mind you) by the volume of music preventing any conversation!

Yup....ten years ago I would have been horrified had anyone suggested the music was too loud......definite proof of age!

The attack of the killer parasols!

In retrospect this tale of something that happened to me this afternoon is funny, but I can assure you that at the time is was somewhat less than funny and quite dangerous.

For those of you not in the UK we seem here to have recently developed a 'monsoon' season, it has barely stopped raining for weeks and for my part I have been driving the van from hell through constantly flooded roads day after day after day for what seems an interminable length of time.

So with that background today's tale:

Having finished work I decided on a stroll through the local town, a bit of window shopping and maybe a coffee. As I was strolling through the town centre in only light rain, minding my own business, from nowhere there was a clap of thunder, immediately followed by torrential rainfall and a sudden extremely strong wind. Accompanying this I was immediately aware of some god awful noise and looking up I was faced with the sight of two table, eight chairs, two parasols and two accompanying concrete weights hurtling towards me at break neck speed.

I kid you not, this wind was strong and the industrial strength patio furniture usually housed nicely on the pavement outside of Starbucks was moving en-mass at an unbelievable speed towards me.

There was only one thing between me and the killer parasols, a man also walking along the street, he pinned himself to the wall and with only a second to react I did the same.....only I happened (thankfully) to be by a shop doorway....which in my panic I duly fell through!!! Oh, forever elegant! Not!

The parasols and their incumbents came to a crashing halt against another shop just yards away....and broke up into their various, previously assembled parts!

Starbucks staff rushed out into the street all full of concern for any passers by and to survey their once reasonably attractive furniture and an assistant in the shop who's doorway I had made my rapid and in elegant entrance hauled me off the floor and checked I was still in one piece!

Ok, so it's funny now, you may titter, but had all that stuff hit me, or worse still some elderly frail soul, it might have been a whole less funny....this was industrial strength, heavy duty furniture and concrete travelling at an unbelievable speed in the middle of a town centre.

For my part....hey, the shop I fell into was a shoe shop....it was only polite that I should make a purchase by way of thanks for the staffs concern over me! ;o)

It's been...

....one of those weeks and I can't believe it's still only wednesday!!! We should be well into Saturday by now!

I need some fun (work has been an utter debacle one way and another since Monday) and lots of sleep and then maybe I can begin to resemble something approaching a civil human state again.

...or maybe not! ;o)

Dumbass!

Is it just me or does anyone else struggle with THIS?? My mind just wasn't engineered to get beyond the cute cat bit it would appear!

I'm trying, really, I'm trying but it just isn't making any kind of sense thus far......

Ok, I'm a dumbass! ;o)