TGIF

...... another Bank holiday weekend in retail! Not the extended weekend of fun for me, no TGIF feeling, days out or lying in bed, instead targets to hit, sore feet and doubtless a boss with a less than cheerful demeanour.......did I forget to mention the customer with attitude! I'm not complaining really (well maybe a little) I quite enjoy my job once I drag myself there. Please though 'Joe Average' spare a thought,.... try not to hone your 'screaming like a Banshee' skills on me today eh!"

On the up side, BB5 kicked off last night, another summer of inane viewing....love it!

A rare occurrence

Retail therapy.........a very rare occurrence in my life these days! Gone are the heady days of window shopping and perpetual overspending, it's a 140 mile round trip to the real world from this idyllic paradise and it sorta puts you off!

That said, needs must and we (that's myself and 'Mr gemmak') ventured north yesterday to Edinburgh........a most beautiful city if only one could park.........and raced around collecting items from the list of 'stuff needed' that has grown over recent weeks.

Top of the list a laptop.......joy, no longer the jostling for position at the pc!

Watch this space, our field in the middle of nowhere doesn't allow for broadband, how long I wonder until the jostling is for the dialup!!! :o)

Woooooo!

At last my site turns up in the results of a search!!! Quite a momentous thing for me. It's taken me better part of a month to achieve but I got there in the end.
Its probably easy if I thoroughly understood the 'in's and out's' of search engines, 'spiders' and ranking'but I don't!

So there ya go...a little tiny fish in a great big pond but I'm there.... and top of page 1 on Google to boot. :o)

It's the small thing's in life...........

Heaven

Work over for another weekend............heaven, 3 whole days all to myself....... though I lost this morning completely, courtesy of another night on IRC! It's kinda odd to look up and suddenly realise it's daylight outside again! Being up at 4am still has that peculiar effect on me even at this age, of feeling slightly 'bad'........like in one's adolescence when you just know you have to have a damn good reason to explain your 'absence' to waiting parents! :o)

Anyways, I normally manage late nights well but on this occasion my alarm seemed not to do the job........... hence I lost most of this morning!

I'm not alone!

Well, I'm not alone after all.......... I have some company here albeit minimal! lol, oh and 'David', if you pass this way again, do you have an url or a link or summat so I can return the favour?


Today the cats decided it was summer at last, despite it being colder than the last few days. 'Ditto' who is not yet two spent the day gleefully rediscovering the 'hunting business', though her skills require considerable honing after the winter break! I kept an eye on her for a while for fear she would proudly bring me a 'present', only to find her repeatedly pouncing on a small piece of plastic bag exitedly. She did progress to stalking a twig, dancing about after an insect or two and 'chattering' at a bird that stupidly came to land in close proximity, but thankfully, thus far, I haven't been treated to a doorstep 'gift'! Things will change no doubt as her summer goes on and her skills improve, I would like to be able to be miffed with her when she presents me with a trophy but I can't be for long.......she's a cat, it's what they do!

Poppy on the other hand, the matriarch at almost 17, is done with her hunting days and having not so much as poked her nose outside the door for 6 months decided today was the day. She's none too sure about all the open countryside. Having spent her life in a town she's far more at ease avoiding cars than facing a cow or a sheep but made the effort to potter onto the balcony, she watched Ditto play with apparent disapproval, sat in the sun for 10 minutes and then hobbled back inside!

I wonder.....

I wonder........
if anyone actually reads this, thus far I have had no feedback tho a month in is pushing my luck!! I somehow think that I'm rambling away to myself here and perhaps its more for my own amusement or 'theraputic' than of interest, who knows but 'hi' if you are my sole reader :o)

Don't ya just hate it!

Don't ya just hate it when some 'bright spark' gives you a work shift at the wrong end of the day!
I've been in limbo all day just waiting to go to work, it's beyond me how people cope with night shifts.To add insult to a day off already ruined, I have a 30 mile round trip just to do a 3 hour stint........its gonna cost me more in petrol that I earn. Well perhaps that's somewhat of an exaggeration but you get my drift!

Tsk.

If you didn't laugh.....

Well this is a new one to me at least.........
all day today everytime I try to log onto my website I get someone elses, or should I say part of someone elses!!!

God, I love my host! not!

If you didn't laugh you you'de cry. Arrgghhhhhhhh.

Oh to be bright

I seem to be spending my life infront of this trying to sort it out and still there is stuff all over the place!
HTML templates don't seem to be my 'forte', perseverance, coffee and an attempt at a more logical mind seem to be called for here! Some hope :o)

Hmmmm....

Will I ever get a grip of HTML???

I wish I hadn't bothered!

Its been an odd day.It began with a visit to the local quack.
You know how you decide to go, just to be reassured that you're worrying over nothing, only to find you get referred to a specialist and wish you hadn't bothered going at all! So that was the start and a slightly more worried me then returned to the car to find some 'kind soul' had opened their door into mine denting it...it happens to be its 3rd birthday and my next stop was the MOT station, thankfully dents don't count!
I vacilated for the rest of the morning between scaring myself half witless about my state of health, scouring the net for information on my condition (why do we do that it's never wise!) and telling myself not to be stupid.
The afternoon improved somewhat.........I found some wonderful pictures a while back on a site 'catsup' that I want to use on my site, I recently contacted the copyright holder and today she has kindly agreed to allow me to use them, thank you Ann.

Friday is Sunday to me as I work at weekends so it's back to it tomorrow, Joe Public at their very best no doubt, Oh joy!

How peculiar

It's 11.20pm, it's still not really dark and its suddenly become really warm, so warm infact that I have all the windows and doors open, how peculiar! Yesterday was winter here, today was spring and tonight is one of those nights where you just know your not gonna sleep for the heat.One of the 'upsides' about living here in the middle of nowhere, is the fact that I can have all the windows and doors open at this time of night and not be concerned! People still don't lock their cars and homes in these parts and nothing ever seems to get stolen! I didn't realised how stressful all that personal security stuff was until I no longer had to pay so much attention to it. The locals find it highly amusing that I still have a tendency to lock everything up.............. old habits die hard I suppose!

Here I go again!

Having spent two days setting up a blog site I now find it doesn't do some of the things I need it to so having taken advice from a very helpful lady at 'bloggingbrits' I am now here at 'blogspot' starting allover again! Grrrrr.

As my previous posts can't be imported into this in the correct date slots I have included them below,thankfully there aren't many!

Heres hoping this will be more of a success..........

MAY 2004

Black sheep
Sunday 9th May 2004

Another weekend at work over. Tonight is ‘Friday night’ for me with 3 days off to look forward to, I can
stay up ridiculously late and play...........yippeeeee! It was a hard one and I’m not sorry its over tho my
faith in human nature was restored a little by someone in authority taking a positive step to support me.
Nice one!

I had a funny conversation over lunch with a colleague centered around what qualifies one as a ‘black
sheep’ and both concluding that despite our best efforts we probably do qualify! I for my part was a
‘difficult’ child, messed up my education and two marriages, lost my career through ill health and then
ran away to Scotland at a very inappropriate time! By comparison my sister has made a success of her
marriage has two beautiful daughters and my brother is professionally very successful!!

Maybe we learn a little as we go along but I think in the end we are who we are and despite our best
attempts to fool ourselves and others ‘black sheepdom’ just comes naturally to some of us! :o)


At bl***y last!
Wednesday 5th May 2004

So ‘gemmak.co.uk’ is alive and struggling at last! .................... I gave up on the domain name for two
reasons,..........1, anything I wanted was already in the hands of someone else and 2. gemmak has kinda
stuck. Its taken best part of 2 days fighting FTP clients and servers to get it up and running and a
marathon session on chat until 03.00 hrs this morning with a guy who hardly knows me, (thank you
AceHamster it is much appreciated) and geordielad, only to discover that it was a problem with the
host!!!!! Grrrrrrrr. Well it’s done now so all I have to do now is redesign the whole thing, learn to use
blogging software and think of things to put on the site that someone might actually be interested in!

Hmmm.......


Just call me Eva.
Saturday 1st May 2004

Off work sick today and I feel as guilty as hell. Despite being genuinely too ill to go to work somehow
the powers that be manage to make me feel like a guilty child. I actually have to pluck up courage to
phone in sick.............I feel ridiculous,...............I’m a 40 something adult for goodness sake but none the
less the thought of calling in sick and having to explain myself to someone who always manages to sound
sceptical fills me with dread. Wouldn’t it be nice if just once someone said ’well I hope you feel better
soon’ or ‘oh dear, you take care of yourself’!! Hey ho.........I suppose that’s the idea, management
psychology has never believed in its workers human frailty and in turn those of us who are honest and
are aware we are letting others down feel something akin to Eva Braun!!

Here’s hoping the ‘nastiness’ my body had bestowed upon me will sort itself fast so I don’t have to go
though the whole horrendous business again tomorrow.

APRIL 2004

What makes me do that?
Tuesday 27th April 2004

Here I am again............absolutely knackered and why...........because I got into yet another good
conversation on IRC last night and finally made my weary way to bed at 03.00, only to have to get up
again at 06.30!! ‘Utter madness, you’re old enough to know better’ I hear you say and you would be
right.

What makes me do that?..........an ability to ignore the little voice in my head saying ‘you’re gonna regret
this tomorrow’ and maybe the fact that its an ever so slightly addictive thing! ’Get a life’ some would
say, well I have a life that I mostly love, so I consider myself lucky.

Oh and ‘Acehamster’ and ‘Fugly’.........I hope you feel as crap as I do right now!

Cheers guys! :o)

It will always amaze me.
Sunday 25th April 2004

At last that’s another weekend of work over with! Don’t misunderstand me, in many ways I enjoy my job
but human nature will never cease to amaze me. I work in customer services for a large national retailer. I
recall during my school years, when it was considered I was not working hard enough, being threatened
with ’do you want to end up stacking shelves in a supermarket’........well I’m not quite stacking shelves in
a supermarket but stuck in retail none the less..........just punishment for a failed education perhaps?? I
digress, back to my point. Shopping is reported to be the biggest single ’leisure activity’ in the UK, a fact
that I find disturbing but who am I. In my limited understanding a leisure activity should be something
one enjoys and gains pleasure and relaxation from ..... In this instance it seems very much not to be the
case. ‘Joe Public,’ doubtless a great individual in all other areas of his/her life, put their collective
shopping head on for the weekend and morphs into a bad tempered, stressed git!

I am there to provide a service and a service that should be exemplary, though I’m sure I fail at times,
but spare a thought, retail does not train in psychology to degree level, I am not there for all and sundry to
take their entire life stresses out on, to be threatened, abused and shouted at, it is not my fault if the dog
was sick on the new carpet / the wife nagged /the mortgage rate just went up / sex is dismal or the car
just took its final breath..................... Shout at me when I fail to deliver the expected level of service, the
rest is not my problem as they say!!

Strange......

Tuesday 20th April 2004

Driving to work this morning I was pondering on the ‘up side’ of life in this backwater. I ponder when I
drive............maybe not my wisest habit! There I was, beautiful sunny morning, lambs and calves in all
the fields, the crops just showing green through the earth and the ocean on the horizon.......how different
from the 9-5 (or as it is now 7-7) madness I used to endure in the ‘real world’ The M1 and the M25 are
not things I miss! The specifics of my ponderings were that I didn’t ever recall a traffic jam on my way
to work here, the only obstructions I have ever encountered were a highland cow in the road, a peacock,
the odd sheep and a snow drift, in fact, I probably don’t pass more than 20 cars in the 13 mile drive!!

So there I was, pottering along when ’horror’............a small traffic jam caused by rare roadworks, all 20
cars it seemed in the one place and instantly I was miffed. Everyone else sat patiently waiting their turn at
the temporary lights but not me........nope.....I reverted to ‘city girl’ in a flash, hung the car round a mini
roundabout and beetled off in the opposite direction in search of an alternative route!! Maybe you can
take the girl out of the city but not the city out of the girl.

Frustration reigns.
Friday 16th April 2004

Originality doesn’t appear to be my forte, I have spent most of the day trying to come up with a domain
name so I can move this .......... thus far have failed dismally! It seems everyone else has thought of
everything before me. Gemmak has to go.......... It will remain my internet nickname out of necessity but
every time I give someone the website address I get asked about the ’k’. It was my initial when married
and not something I want to be reminded of on a daily basis. Gemma herself can go back to her real name
:o)

I have now resorted to mailing a friend and my parents for ideas, have to wait and see what they come up
with.

Hells bells!
Wednesday 14th April 2004

Hells bells and little fishes!
I have been up since 6 researching how one is supposed to really do this, all the correct software etc.
My head is gone! I know full well that if I’m to continue for long I have to get to grips with it, its very
probably less hassle than the way I’m faffing about now but at the moment........whoooshhhhh!!!!.

Hey ho, 3 years ago I suppose I didn’t know that windows where anything other than the glass bits in a
building! Anyone out there feel inclined to enlighten me a little??

Sore throat prevails.............


40 Something more.
Tuesday 13th April 2004

A good day despite being ‘40 something’ more and both waking up with raging sore throats courtesy of
some bug no doubt.. Pottered around, did the present opening thing , chilled and spoke to my parents. It
must have been a special day.....my father called me on my mobile...... and there was me saying nothing
earth shattering ever happens here! :o)

A beautiful warm sunny day, new lambs, calves and flowers everywhere, one of those days that makes
me glad I made the move from ‘the real world’, despite the lack of retail therapy, cinemas, bars etc.

Got a new toy, a cordless mouse, feels odd, rather like changing my right hand, I’m sure I’ll get used to
it! The hunt for webspace goes on.

So this is it.
Monday April 12th 2004

So this is it, my first blog! I have no idea at this point exactly what will be included in these ramblings, if
I will manage to keep them up, or indeed if anyone will actually ever read them, save maybe for ever
loyal friends and family. Good grammar is not an issue, though I will endeavour to remain within the
limits of understanding! Don’t expect any great political comment nor for me to be present at a world
changing event, incidents of massive significance are few and far between here!!

Today seems a good day to begin. Tomorrow is my birthday and age is beginning to be something I’m
less than proud to broadcast, hence it has been removed from my ’100 things about me’ pages!! I have
considered doing the ‘reverse age thing’ but decided that’s just too sad and I just have to be what I
am......Older and more decrepit than I would like to be! :o)

I am endeavouring to sort myself some proper webspace to make this easier to access and to enable
readers to post comments. Until I get my head round the technicalities and cost please bear with me and
should you wish to make a comment, good or bad please mail me.

For those ‘silver surfers’ among you who have commented that the ‘pink on pink’ thing is difficult, I have
changed what I can for now and will change the rest or redesign the whole thing as soon as I have the
time. Your patience is appreciated!

So that’s it...........my first posting, nothing earth shattering or life changing , the day ahead of me is just
day to day stuff and looking forward to tomorrow, despite being 40 something I’m still like a child about
birthdays!!!