Here I go again!

Having spent two days setting up a blog site I now find it doesn't do some of the things I need it to so having taken advice from a very helpful lady at 'bloggingbrits' I am now here at 'blogspot' starting allover again! Grrrrr.

As my previous posts can't be imported into this in the correct date slots I have included them below,thankfully there aren't many!

Heres hoping this will be more of a success..........

MAY 2004

Black sheep
Sunday 9th May 2004

Another weekend at work over. Tonight is ‘Friday night’ for me with 3 days off to look forward to, I can
stay up ridiculously late and play...........yippeeeee! It was a hard one and I’m not sorry its over tho my
faith in human nature was restored a little by someone in authority taking a positive step to support me.
Nice one!

I had a funny conversation over lunch with a colleague centered around what qualifies one as a ‘black
sheep’ and both concluding that despite our best efforts we probably do qualify! I for my part was a
‘difficult’ child, messed up my education and two marriages, lost my career through ill health and then
ran away to Scotland at a very inappropriate time! By comparison my sister has made a success of her
marriage has two beautiful daughters and my brother is professionally very successful!!

Maybe we learn a little as we go along but I think in the end we are who we are and despite our best
attempts to fool ourselves and others ‘black sheepdom’ just comes naturally to some of us! :o)


At bl***y last!
Wednesday 5th May 2004

So ‘gemmak.co.uk’ is alive and struggling at last! .................... I gave up on the domain name for two
reasons,..........1, anything I wanted was already in the hands of someone else and 2. gemmak has kinda
stuck. Its taken best part of 2 days fighting FTP clients and servers to get it up and running and a
marathon session on chat until 03.00 hrs this morning with a guy who hardly knows me, (thank you
AceHamster it is much appreciated) and geordielad, only to discover that it was a problem with the
host!!!!! Grrrrrrrr. Well it’s done now so all I have to do now is redesign the whole thing, learn to use
blogging software and think of things to put on the site that someone might actually be interested in!

Hmmm.......


Just call me Eva.
Saturday 1st May 2004

Off work sick today and I feel as guilty as hell. Despite being genuinely too ill to go to work somehow
the powers that be manage to make me feel like a guilty child. I actually have to pluck up courage to
phone in sick.............I feel ridiculous,...............I’m a 40 something adult for goodness sake but none the
less the thought of calling in sick and having to explain myself to someone who always manages to sound
sceptical fills me with dread. Wouldn’t it be nice if just once someone said ’well I hope you feel better
soon’ or ‘oh dear, you take care of yourself’!! Hey ho.........I suppose that’s the idea, management
psychology has never believed in its workers human frailty and in turn those of us who are honest and
are aware we are letting others down feel something akin to Eva Braun!!

Here’s hoping the ‘nastiness’ my body had bestowed upon me will sort itself fast so I don’t have to go
though the whole horrendous business again tomorrow.

APRIL 2004

What makes me do that?
Tuesday 27th April 2004

Here I am again............absolutely knackered and why...........because I got into yet another good
conversation on IRC last night and finally made my weary way to bed at 03.00, only to have to get up
again at 06.30!! ‘Utter madness, you’re old enough to know better’ I hear you say and you would be
right.

What makes me do that?..........an ability to ignore the little voice in my head saying ‘you’re gonna regret
this tomorrow’ and maybe the fact that its an ever so slightly addictive thing! ’Get a life’ some would
say, well I have a life that I mostly love, so I consider myself lucky.

Oh and ‘Acehamster’ and ‘Fugly’.........I hope you feel as crap as I do right now!

Cheers guys! :o)

It will always amaze me.
Sunday 25th April 2004

At last that’s another weekend of work over with! Don’t misunderstand me, in many ways I enjoy my job
but human nature will never cease to amaze me. I work in customer services for a large national retailer. I
recall during my school years, when it was considered I was not working hard enough, being threatened
with ’do you want to end up stacking shelves in a supermarket’........well I’m not quite stacking shelves in
a supermarket but stuck in retail none the less..........just punishment for a failed education perhaps?? I
digress, back to my point. Shopping is reported to be the biggest single ’leisure activity’ in the UK, a fact
that I find disturbing but who am I. In my limited understanding a leisure activity should be something
one enjoys and gains pleasure and relaxation from ..... In this instance it seems very much not to be the
case. ‘Joe Public,’ doubtless a great individual in all other areas of his/her life, put their collective
shopping head on for the weekend and morphs into a bad tempered, stressed git!

I am there to provide a service and a service that should be exemplary, though I’m sure I fail at times,
but spare a thought, retail does not train in psychology to degree level, I am not there for all and sundry to
take their entire life stresses out on, to be threatened, abused and shouted at, it is not my fault if the dog
was sick on the new carpet / the wife nagged /the mortgage rate just went up / sex is dismal or the car
just took its final breath..................... Shout at me when I fail to deliver the expected level of service, the
rest is not my problem as they say!!

Strange......

Tuesday 20th April 2004

Driving to work this morning I was pondering on the ‘up side’ of life in this backwater. I ponder when I
drive............maybe not my wisest habit! There I was, beautiful sunny morning, lambs and calves in all
the fields, the crops just showing green through the earth and the ocean on the horizon.......how different
from the 9-5 (or as it is now 7-7) madness I used to endure in the ‘real world’ The M1 and the M25 are
not things I miss! The specifics of my ponderings were that I didn’t ever recall a traffic jam on my way
to work here, the only obstructions I have ever encountered were a highland cow in the road, a peacock,
the odd sheep and a snow drift, in fact, I probably don’t pass more than 20 cars in the 13 mile drive!!

So there I was, pottering along when ’horror’............a small traffic jam caused by rare roadworks, all 20
cars it seemed in the one place and instantly I was miffed. Everyone else sat patiently waiting their turn at
the temporary lights but not me........nope.....I reverted to ‘city girl’ in a flash, hung the car round a mini
roundabout and beetled off in the opposite direction in search of an alternative route!! Maybe you can
take the girl out of the city but not the city out of the girl.

Frustration reigns.
Friday 16th April 2004

Originality doesn’t appear to be my forte, I have spent most of the day trying to come up with a domain
name so I can move this .......... thus far have failed dismally! It seems everyone else has thought of
everything before me. Gemmak has to go.......... It will remain my internet nickname out of necessity but
every time I give someone the website address I get asked about the ’k’. It was my initial when married
and not something I want to be reminded of on a daily basis. Gemma herself can go back to her real name
:o)

I have now resorted to mailing a friend and my parents for ideas, have to wait and see what they come up
with.

Hells bells!
Wednesday 14th April 2004

Hells bells and little fishes!
I have been up since 6 researching how one is supposed to really do this, all the correct software etc.
My head is gone! I know full well that if I’m to continue for long I have to get to grips with it, its very
probably less hassle than the way I’m faffing about now but at the moment........whoooshhhhh!!!!.

Hey ho, 3 years ago I suppose I didn’t know that windows where anything other than the glass bits in a
building! Anyone out there feel inclined to enlighten me a little??

Sore throat prevails.............


40 Something more.
Tuesday 13th April 2004

A good day despite being ‘40 something’ more and both waking up with raging sore throats courtesy of
some bug no doubt.. Pottered around, did the present opening thing , chilled and spoke to my parents. It
must have been a special day.....my father called me on my mobile...... and there was me saying nothing
earth shattering ever happens here! :o)

A beautiful warm sunny day, new lambs, calves and flowers everywhere, one of those days that makes
me glad I made the move from ‘the real world’, despite the lack of retail therapy, cinemas, bars etc.

Got a new toy, a cordless mouse, feels odd, rather like changing my right hand, I’m sure I’ll get used to
it! The hunt for webspace goes on.

So this is it.
Monday April 12th 2004

So this is it, my first blog! I have no idea at this point exactly what will be included in these ramblings, if
I will manage to keep them up, or indeed if anyone will actually ever read them, save maybe for ever
loyal friends and family. Good grammar is not an issue, though I will endeavour to remain within the
limits of understanding! Don’t expect any great political comment nor for me to be present at a world
changing event, incidents of massive significance are few and far between here!!

Today seems a good day to begin. Tomorrow is my birthday and age is beginning to be something I’m
less than proud to broadcast, hence it has been removed from my ’100 things about me’ pages!! I have
considered doing the ‘reverse age thing’ but decided that’s just too sad and I just have to be what I
am......Older and more decrepit than I would like to be! :o)

I am endeavouring to sort myself some proper webspace to make this easier to access and to enable
readers to post comments. Until I get my head round the technicalities and cost please bear with me and
should you wish to make a comment, good or bad please mail me.

For those ‘silver surfers’ among you who have commented that the ‘pink on pink’ thing is difficult, I have
changed what I can for now and will change the rest or redesign the whole thing as soon as I have the
time. Your patience is appreciated!

So that’s it...........my first posting, nothing earth shattering or life changing , the day ahead of me is just
day to day stuff and looking forward to tomorrow, despite being 40 something I’m still like a child about
birthdays!!!