Cool cloud

Hardly summery I know but hey, this is Scotland!


(Clickable)

Fame @ last.com

On a day when I didn't feel much like smiling, THIS turned up in my mail box and really made me smile :o)

I hope I can call him a friend and a pretty good one at that, I am so proud :o)

Congrats. JW,...... fame at last!

....and for those that want to know more try here.......but be warned, if you venture off the beaten track be it on your own head!

Tagged again

By Lisa.

I am: permanently confused.
I want: not to be.
I wish: it was next year.
I hate: SPIDERS!!!!
I miss: my family, my grandmother and Poppy.
I fear: being alone.
I hear: only what I want to at times!
I wonder: if I'll ever get it all sussed.
I regret: only those things I didn't do.
I am not: tall.
I dance: rarely
I sing in the shower:, I don't sing in the shower,
I cry: too much.
I am not always: as unselfish as I should be.
I make with my hands: wild gesticulations.
I write: Do I?
I confuse: most people...among them myself.
I need: Peace and quiet and chocolate.
I should: listen to my own advice more often.
I start: things with great enthusiasm.
I finish: less than I should.

I'm tagging: Justitia, Wallo and Mick.

Tilly the hunter!

This tail wagging and squeaking palavar is not over anything you might imagine, not a bird sighted thorugh the window, not a laser light, not even a daddy long legs of any proportion....nope, it's all over the tiniest, minutest fly imaginable!

Whaaat??

All winter I hope for snow....we don't get any, it gets almost to summer, albeit one would be be forgiven for not noticing this last week of constant rain, and what happens...today we have snow forecast!! it's almost June for heavens sake!!


(Click for readable version)

Unbelievable!

Ok, ok, so having worked so many years with Joe Public really I should have learned not to be surprised by anything but from time to time the audacity and complete stupidity of some people's behaviour still has the power to completely amaze me.

Yesterday, during a particularly difficult day at work, around mid afternoon, the fire alarm sounded, having stood for that inevitable moment we all do, the moment when we wonder 'is this for real', we sprang into the much rehearsed business of evacuating a large and busy shop. Believe me, that in itself isn't as straight forward as one might imagine, it is strangely difficult to convince some people that yes, you really do want them to leave their precious, but as yet unpaid for goods, behind and yes, please leave the store now!

That achieved and having fielded the various and usual 'is there really a fire' questions (hello?.....how the hell do I know? do I look like a firefighter or like I've have time to search a building covering thousands of square feet in two minutes?) all customers and staff are safely removed to the exterior of the building and the fire brigade duly arrive.

But none of that is unbelievable. What is unbelievable is that once outside I was positioned at the entrance door to prevent Joe Public attempting to regain entry until the building was declared safe, and really, I promise you, plenty will try. So here I am 'standing guard' when an irate young woman approaches me asking what she should do about her trolley. Um.....park it and leave maybe, I considered responding but she continued before I had chance to respond at all, telling me and all those who were prepared to listen above the sound of fire alarms and the sirens of two appliances, that she wasn't prepared to wait until it was safe and her £1 coin was stuck in her trolley. I explained I couldn't return to the store to get her a precious replacementt coin or the 'cheat key' to retrieve hers........ but she went on, and on, and on and on.

My patience wearing dangerously thin, I purloined a pound coin from the manager, by now standing nearby, and almost threw it at her, with a curt-ish, 'sorry not for your inconvenience madam.'

This woman was completely unaware it seems, of the hordes of people stood around her laughing or looking on with some degree of incredulity, she left apparently satisfied and her audience stood watching her departure with a look of utter disbelief!

Come on lady, we're talking about one pound here....hardly a kings ransom under the circumstances is it?!

Saturday Silliness

From my inbox. Thanks Shephard.

'Puggle'

Friday's Feast (94)

Appetizer
What is the last thing you had to have repaired?

My car....today, yet again!!!

Soup
If someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?

Easy......my half in a computer store or jewellers, the other half to Cancer Research UK. Ok......maybe shared with the Cat's Protection League or RSPCA

Salad
What is one of your favorite songs from the 1980s?

Errrr.....

Main Course
You enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?

Ummm...now let me think about that one!

Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how athletic are you?

About minus 73 at the moment!

Just because.....

....it made me laugh, something I haven't done too much of lately and laughing is good.


'Beggars, Pelicans & Seagulls' © Superstock.
(Clickable)

Screeeeeam!

Did you ever just feel like finding a mountain, the biggest, darkest, loneliest mountain, climbing to the very top and screaming until your lungs hurt and your voice won't scream any more?

Scream at your own frustrations, your lack of real control, your own impotence, your inability to find the answers, at your weaknesses, lack of insight, and at life and your own stupidity.

Scream at those that seem to take delight in making life harder than it need be, scream at the inconsiderate and selfish, the hurtful and insensitive, those who take without giving and who live life blinkered by their own need.

Did you ever just feel like finding a mountain, the biggest, darkest, loneliest mountain, climbing to the very top and screaming until your lungs hurt and your voice won't scream any more, screaming into the silence, screaming at everyone and no one, screaming at life to get the f**k out of your face and just let you be, even if only for a few hours...........

What can I say.....

.....I have no valid excuse, no arguement that might convince you I have not
suddenly become unsound (ok more unsound, I'll pre-empt the obvious comment there) of mind in that today is a long awaited one, a day looked forward to for almost a year with anticipation and excitement.

And why? Ummm......because today Big Brother kicks off once more and this year for a far longer run than any previous BB!


Hey.... it's part of the summer and a girls gotta have one vice!

Wake up!!!

When we acquired hell kitten Tilly all those months back, we ere unaware that we were in fact purchasing a 'with extras' bargain model and that her technical specification would include, along with the more usual features of door climbing, furniture destroying and general mayhem making, an amazingly accurate alarm feature, complete with snooze facility!

Yes, wish as I may that I could truly appreciate this 'bonus' there are times , and this morning is one such time, were it would be oh so welcome if her ability to appear controlled by the Cumbria time signal would damn well malfunction!!

It's barely 6am on my day off and already I have been up and running (ok staggering) for an hour! I try, I really try to resist the 5am nose chewing, hair pulling, chin biting, face treading, high decibel purring an inch from my ear and other 'acts of love' bestowed upon me..... but despite my best efforts all attempts at resistance are pitiful in the face of such persistence for attention.

Please don't suggest that I shut her out, it is not an option that is tolerated, she merely hurls herself at the door crying loudly until I relent and let her back in!

How can something that weighs less then six pounds and looks so cute have such a level of hell bent stamina and insistent control?? I really need to find a new psychology with which to approach this little cat but belief me, I 'do' mad cat woman, I have the animal psychology books, I have usually managed to win in these situations but Tilly is another matter entirely.

Maybe the best psychology in this case is to be applied to myself rather than 'madam'. Perhaps if I tell myself often enough that 5am is a reasonable waking hour, an opportunity to watch the sunrise, listen to the dawn chorus, smell the sweet air of a new day...... I will begin to believe it!

NOT

Hypnosis for cats

Tilly still hasn't learned that it can't be caught!

What a carry-on!

Well, the long awaited day in court evolved quite rapidly into all that I had expected....and more! Had it not happened infront of my very eyes I doubt I would have believed the whole day could have degenerated into such a spectacular farce.

Against everything that my natural morning state usually dictates I managed to get myself into some semblance of order by early morning in an effort to at least appear to be a credible witness and off I set, suited and booted to pick up a colleague and friend who kindly offered to keep me company during this likely day of boredom. We arrived at least 45 minutes too early (I hate being late and as a consequence am always waiting places having arrived way before time at any designated meeting) so having tracked down the appropriate change for the parking meter we decided to go sit by the beach for a while.....fab, it began to rain!

My letter of instruction from the Criminal Protection Service Crown prosecution Service instructed me to be there at 09.45 for a hearing at 10.00, we were met by a court minion who ushered us to the 'witness room', a little stuffy place up somewhere near the attic of the building, and told a witness care officer would be with us shortly.....she wasn't. She finally arrived at about 10.45 full of apology and clutching a carrier bag containing milk, sugar and instant(ugh)coffee. It seems that in these outer reaches of the U.K. vending machines are yet to be discovered and the only chance of some refreshment is if ones 'care officer' is thoughtful enough to provide such luxuries.

Ok....so the day for myself and D. my friend was already promising to be a giggle if nothing else, we had already decided that in the likely event that things would run less than perfectly humour would be our best coping strategy!

Eventually, having been provided with our only cup of coffee throughout the day (hell, what are they thinking of?? this is morning, I need copious amounts of caffeine to function at all let alone at any level of intelligence) I was eventually visited in turn by the police officer involved and the prosecution solicitor, given the low down on the likely days events, offered a much needed copy of my original statement to peruse and then left to the meager supply of magazines and chit chat for entertainment.

Then the whole thing really began to fall to pieces. First the other witness, a colleague of mine who had also been involved in the incident called the court to say he was 'ill', that little gem was hotly followed....hey do I look surprised here?....by the defendant not appearing at the designated time.

And so much shuffling of papers and hushed discussion later it was decided not to try the case in the defendants absence, a police officer was dispatched to pay a visit to my 'ill' colleague and a warrant for the arrest of the defendant was issued, the case was adjourned and we naively thought we would soon be released from the clutches of our attic room.....wishful thinking it transpired.

The powers that be decided that they should now meet to decide a date for the next hearing to convene and I was asked to accompany the defense solicitor into an anti-room to give dates of availability etc.

.....and here's the point at which I began to feel this could only happen to me. On exiting the aforementioned anti-room I walked literally, smack bang into the defendant who had decided in his wisdom to show up an hour late (oh, very nice of you to grace us with your presence sunshine!), proffering the excuse that his 'taxi was late'. Nice to know that those in lifetime receipt of benefits can afford taxi's is all I can say!

My witness care officer had seen him arrive, as had the cop, who were both hovering in close proximity, unable to alert myself or the solicitor of his arrival but the incident was uneventful, I for my part was so amused I could barely maintain a professional front and 'Sonny Jim' was so out of it I doubt he even noticed my small body bowling into his. Apparently the look on my face would have been excellent identification evidence had it been admissible!

Now I reasoned maybe we could get this thing sorted out....wrong again! Despite both solicitors, the magistrates, the court officials and the defendant all being in court now discussing future dates, myself waiting yet again in the attic and no further cases waiting to be heard it was decided against. Don't ask me why, I don't know, likely some minor technicality way beyond my comprehension.....and instead, oh happy days, we have to go through the whole bloody performance again in a months time!!!!!

Give me strength!

*Read more here*