This 'old chestnut' again

What 'old chestnut' am I referring too you may ask? The old chestnut that is those who are not involved as closely in the internet as some of us (understatement) are, believing that it is just not possible to make 'real' friends in this environment.

We have all heard it a thousand times, those who think we must be deluded, sad, have 'no life' or just plain strange to consider internet friends real friends. I have been told countless times that one cannot be friends with someone one meets in this forum, that one cannot really know the other party and that all manner of heinous and scary things will befall us should we venture into this realm. Yes, there are certainly some 'odd bods' out there but in the main I believe that those familiar with the workings of the web communities that exist, rapidly learn suitable security and equally rapidly learn to spot most of the 'undesirables' at a thousand key strokes! I for one have certainly had more 'run-ins' with life's less pleasant individuals on 'civvy street' than I have online.

How can 'internet friends' not be real, those at the other end of our hook up are the same as you and me, normal, real, living, breathing individuals. How not real can my partner, a man I met on the internet, by chance be? How not real my business (albeit very small) partner and very close friend who knows probably more about me than most of my 'face to face' friends and again who I met on the internet and how not real all the support I have received from these people over this last difficult week or two? Is the lady I spent two hours talking to on the phone last night, giggling like we had known each other all our lives a figment of an over active imagination?


From experience I would have to say that it is perhaps possible to get to know someone via the internet more closely and with greater speed than face to face. Human beings have a strange ability to not be quite so upfront when face to face, give us the first line anonymity of a keyboard and suddenly we become braver about what we will tell one another in the first instance. I defy any one of you to deny that you have spoken of things to someone online that you would find harder to say if you where physically sat front of one another.

The other plus of course it the opportunity to meet friends who we would never ever get the chance to meet outside of the internet. Some may argue that if we were not sat infront of a computer so often we may be out socialising and meeting people 'for real' but in reality is that the case? I for one would be more likely to be parked in front of the television or reading a book than out and about, at the end of a long day at work for instance I don't want to be 'out' everyday and even if I did the number of places to go are few and far between in these parts. I have met friends and a far wider diversity of individuals online than I suspect I would have had the opportunity too face to face.

It is my belief that those who consider this forum 'unreal' are in the main a little scared of what they don't understand, have probably only read the horror stories bandied about by the tabloid press and as is the case in so many things are only too happy to decry something they know nothing about.

So what prompted this post? An email from a friend yesterday. A guy who I hope considers me a friend and who strangely is probably the most likely person I am to meet 'for real' because coincidentally he isn't thousands of miles away. The guy in question has lent me some very helpful advice and support over the last few weeks one way and another and despite living close by I doubt we would have met other than on the internet.....even if we had it is unlikely we would have done more than pass the time of day, let alone become friends.

I will spare his blushes and not identify him, he can do that himself if he wishes but the mail included a quote that 'hit the spot' as they say, for me and is worthy of consideration and application by us all from time to time:

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Excuse me a moment while I go and prod PG to make absolutely sure he is real!

End of the day

(Clickable)

Take deep breaths, count to ten.......

....think calm thoughts, step back, get some perspective......arghhhhhh, nope, it didn't do it for me! I could spit!

You just know don't you, before I even start what this is going to be about? Yup, more on the broadband saga that is rapidly declining into the none too surprising debacle I feared.

To give those of you not familiar with this saga a little background, it began three years ago. When the rest of the country it seemed was enjoying broadband, we were told that as a tiny rural community with little take up interest, we would have to wait.....and wait we did. Three long years.

Finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel when late last year the great God BT promised us the desperately wanted high speed connection for June 2005. It was of course not to be, we made it to the aforementioned date and were told, 'sorry July', you guessed it, in July we were told August. The promised month dawned and we tried to place an order, only to be told we couldn't do so until the line was enabled. Ok we thought, we can live with that and on the appointed day we duly placed our order first thing in the morning.

The hardware hardware arrived a day later, we were impressed and we set it up, tried to connect and....nothing, zip, a big fat zero. We called the powers that be at BT only to be informed that there had been a 'delay'. yesterday was the new appointed big day and as you know, again we tried to make a connection and again nothing! Again we called our ISP who took us like idiots through the set up having told us we were most definitely enabled....still NOTHING! Late last night 'technical unhelp desk guy number 5', from out of the blue finds a message on his screen telling him we have NOT been enabled. For Gods sake! All was not lost he said, today would most definitely be the day, BT were just a 'tad' behind schedule.

Glum faced and miffed we resigned ourselves to one more night at 45kbps and looked forward to today.

Again we went through the rigmarole and again NOTHING!!!! PG called BT who refused to discuss the matter with him because despite it being their line that has not had the work done on it yet, which is their responsibility and has their engineers appointed to it, they are not our ISP and apparently they 'don't deal with non ISP customers'. They kindly informed us that we had to call our ISP and get them to call BT, who would then discuss the matter. I kid you not, can you believe it? Yes ok you probably can but it is bordering on the insane.

PG then called the ISP, who in turn called BT who in turn informed the ISP that....and this is the really good bit....." there has been a big take up in the area and as many are infront of us we have to wait our turn, they are enabling lines on a first come first served basis and the amount of work exceeds their expectations!!!!!

WTF??? What happened to the 'not enough uptake' that caused the three year wait in the first place and how come there are people infront of us if one cannot order the service before one is enabled and we did so at 9am on the morning we were theoretically supposed to be enabled? What a crock! Methinks there is someone with a vivid imagination and penchant for fibbing at BT!

And so, the sad debacle continues, we are still at 45 kbps, we are now told our connection will become live 'sometime next week', how very professional and specific (not). If I could possibly live without it I would dearly like to tell them to 'shove it' and stick with my dialup, that costs less than half the price and even if it is at a snails pace at least manages to actually make a connection! I won't of course, I will tolerate the crap and persevere because I just have to have my 2 meg, somehow, someway, someday!

Just maybe I'll get there prior to collecting my pension.

Cheers BT, what an utterly, impressively crap fab service!

Search engine wars

Can there be any question who is winning the search engine wars. At least in my little patch it seems from these stats. that there is no contest! This isn't a 'one off' these figures are always similar. I knew there was a reason I love Google :o)

Arghhhhhhhhhh......

....don't even mention the word broadband to me tonight!

After two hours of fiddling, what do we learn? We learn that bloody BT haven't yet enabled the line, despite their repeated promises to do so and despite having told the ISP they had!!! Theoretically we are on sometime tomorrow now...... but what was I saying about not holding my breath?!

Friday's feast (58)

Appetizer
Briefly describe your living room.

No, it's easier to show you!






Soup
List 3 things you'd like to accomplish before the end of 2005.

Hell, I don't know, I don't 'do' goals, maybe just stay happy, sane(ish) and get to visit my family a little more.Salad

When you're online, what do you spend the most time reading/playing/doing? Suggest a site for us to visit.

Designing and building templates, no surprise there :o)
A site, let me think......here ya go, this should send you to sleep!

Main Course
What would the title of your autobiography be?

"Oh bugger!"

Dessert
What time do you usually go to bed?

Between 1 and 2 am.

First prize

First prize goes to

'Idgie'

who wanted her name in lights for clicking my hit counter over to 35000 this morning!

Fingers crossed!

I have my fingers firmly crossed .....with a little luck and engineers doing their job on time I should be connected at 2 meg by 18.00hrs today!

Er.....I 'm not holding my breath mind, this has been a long time coming and albeit we haven't ever got this close before it wouldn't be the first time BT have failed to deliver where broadband is concerned.

If you hear a loud and strange noise early this evening you know they finally got their act together ....the noise will be an almighty YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY emitting from gemmak's-ville and belive me it will be audible far and wide! heh.

It's windy.....

....and as ever this state of affairs takes it's toll on Ditto and as a result on Poppy, who rapidly and much to her chagrin, becomes the focus of Ditto's pent up energies.

Ditto has a particular dislike for windy conditions, she will happily pad about in torrential rain if it seems to be her only option, she will tread carefully in snow, bask in the sun and tolerate freezing temperatures but wind...no way, forget it, you have more chance of platting fog than of ejecting small cat out into wind!

Any attempts to persuade her through the door results merely in her cowering on the doorstep with each gust, more persuasive techniques such as a gentle 'prod in the rear' with a slippered foot elicits a small growl and a rapid about turn! This behaviour would of course be acceptable if it were not for the fact that within five minutes she is back at the door howling for escape and necessitating a multitude of repeat performances.

eventually of course she gets the message, her little mind just takes it's time in realising that this is a state of affairs that is likely to persist at least for a few hours but settle she does not. Instead she becomes manic, one minute apparently resting quietly the next racing around the walls and requiring almost to be peeled off the ceiling. Her normal feline ability to judge space and distance desert her, nothing is safe as she bowls headlong into one thing or another creating small havoc.

There is of course her favorite pass-time during the oh so boring spells she is incarcerated due to the prevailing and most unsuitable weather conditions..... Ambushing poor Poppy!

Too much temptation

Small cat waits with head down and bottom wriggling in anticipation of her quarry around every corner, she sneaks up on her, and pounces with monotonous regularity. She races towards her in her less well planned and over excited ambushes and at the moment she is about to engage her enemy, springs vertically in an impressive display of vectored thrust, landing squarely intop of her!

Poppy, it is no surprise to discover at 18 years of age, is just not up for this 'game' but surprisingly despite her lessening weight and ageing joints, in a most aggravated and intensely annoyed display, is still able to cuff Ditto smartly about the ear and attempt to sink her remaining tooth into the nearest offending 'Ditto part'.........Small cat in turn seems always most confused as to quite what she did wrong! After all, she reasons, is Poppy not there soley for her amusement when inclement conditions prevent her from 'playing out'?

Having been severely reprimanded for her carrying's on and having been removed from one innapropriate place or another and having incurred the 'wrath of Poppy' for her antics, she moves onto the indoor version of her most favoured outdoor pursuit.... a game of 'chase the tail'. Not her own tail of course but Poppy's, who has a rather unfortunate habit of losing track of quite where her own tail is. Invariably it is dangling somewhere that is just too utterly tempting for small cat and who cannot resist a little 'stalking the tail activity'. This game usually results in a little 'eating the tail activity' and of course more trouble ensues.

You will understand why then that Ditto is currently 'enjoying' half an hours time out.....shut in the bedrom alone!

Peace at last.

Weather changeable!

Ok, so we all know that the UK is infamous for it's ability to change weather conditions in a short period of time but both these within an hour??!

Formation.

Sunburst.

Blogging is the new black

It seems that this blogging malarky is becoming ever increasingly fashionable. The long time 'must have' for geeks is now becoming popular with that section of the population who likely count being considered even remotely geeky among their greatest life fears!

Yup, according to Technorati today, there is one blog born every minute and the number of blogs world wide doubles every five months, to a current grand total of 14.2 million.

The blogosphere is indeed becoming a popular haunt, ok, so we have known that for what sometimes feels like most of our lives but maybe, just maybe, before too long the next time someone asks you your interests and you reply happily "blogging", their reply might be something more coherrent than "uh?"

:o)

Thank you.....

....to everyone who over the last few days left me such kind and considerate comments or who sent me email, your thoughts and care are very much appreciated and valued.

My apologies for not replying to comments individually as normal, I didn't feel 'up to it' prior to today and in an effort not to dwell too much on recent events offering this 'one for all' thank you is easier for me.

So THANK YOU, your kindness truly made a difference.

And the world rolls on

As sad and tragic as the last few days may have been in gemmak's-ville, the words in the title of this post are very true. Thought they may seem at first a little harsh they were words offered to me by someone far wiser than myself on Sunday, words that were offered as support and words that helped me pull myself out of the doldrums.

Shit happens and however sad or terrible an incident is the world will keep rolling on, no amount of tears or hand-wringing will change the facts and all that can be done now for 'M' is to respect and care for his memory and hope that whatever the circumstances of his death he is at peace.

So, it's onto more positive things though at first reading it may not seem so.

I wrote recently about a friend who has just been diagnosed with cancer, see, I told you this would not immediately seem like a happier more positive subject, but read on.....

This lady has amazed me and become a great inspiration, yes, of course she was scared, of course she struggled with her new diagnosis BUT having had major surgery last Tuesday she left hospital on Thursday and then, and this is the amazing bit, she drove herself a 50 mile round trip on Saturday night to attend a party for someone, she remained at that party for three hours and then returned to work full time on Monday, less than a week after her surgery!!! Add to that, she spent her first day back at work having to be questioned by the police, having been one of the last people to see 'M' alive.

She is determined not to be beaten and not to let this change her life any more than it has too....... I am just so proud of her, proud of her courage, her determination and her strength and more than that, just utterly proud to know her and to be her friend.

What a truly remarkable woman!

A sad Sunday

Yesterday was an extremely unpleasant day and not one I wish to experience again if I can possibly avoid it.

I felt like I spent the day on a knife edge, I can't and won't regale you with the details, I don't feel it is appropriate, nor is it respectful but from early in the working day it became apparent to me that something of some magnitude had happened to one of my colleagues. One or two small incidents that at first seemed unrelated suddenly added up in my head and although the 'powers that be' couldn't divulge any information by lunch time I had worked it out.

I spent the afternoon in some strange kind of state of mind, slightly surreal, one minute telling myself I had added 2+2 and gotten 5, the next just knowing in my gut that I had it right. It felt odd, inside of me there was the turmoil of not actually having had my suspicions confirmed and the waiting but outwardly there was a smiling, laughing individual carrying on dealing with customers and their problems like nothing untoward was happening. Thank the Lord for good training and years of practice at applying the 'professional smile'.

Late in the day, after the store had closed and only myself and a duty manager remained the news came from the police that our colleague and friend had died in slightly unusual circumstances. We spent some time dealing with the practicalities of that information in a quiet, stunned manner and then went home.

The evening for me was odder still, unable to speak of the days events with other colleagues, as they were to be told, I was in somewhat of a daze.

This morning it still feels unreal and my first thought was that I am glad not to be in work today when the news becomes general and the atmosphere becomes inevitable difficult as one after another of my colleagues learns the news. Typically and obtusely though, my second thought is that in a strange way I would like to be there to try and support the others, I have afterall had a day to get used to the news, they have not. I also feel in an odd way that I would liked to have been able to help out the manager with whom I worked yesterday and who has the unenviable task of imparting the news all day long as staff members arrive for work. The two of us went through it alone together yesterday evening and though professionalism would probably prevent him from admitting it, that created an unusual bond and I wish I could help him out a little today.

A sad day.