Kick ass karma?

The last couple of weeks in gemmaks-ville have been pretty odd for a variety of reasons, my domestic situation continues to be something of a trial, the work, or rather the lack of it, issue remains a thorn in my side, my finances are dire and the man thing is just beyond pathetic.

My stress levels are running pretty high and my motivation pretty low.

I'm beginning to feel as if someone has put a hex on me or has a little pin ridden doll representation of me hidden away somewhere. Perhaps I was particularly bad in a previous existence and this is my karma, whatever it is, given that just about everything I have had any involvement with over the last year appears to go horribly wrong as soon as I get anywhere close I think I can be forgiven for a tiny bit of negativity in my current thinking.

I keep on trying to be hopeful and telling myself things will change and improve but they just don't damn them. Each event that crops up seems to be yet something else that's difficult or miserable and I truly don't think that it's down to how I approach or perceive things at the moment. In all honesty I think I have remained pretty positive throughout and handled more than some could, sure I've had my down times but despite a run of pretty tough life events hitting me one after another I am still standing..... and most times with a smile on my face, albeit sometimes a slightly 'painted' one.

Surely, sometime soon, anytime now would be good please, just one really good/happy/positive/life affirming thing will happen, I'm not greedy, one will do me, I'll be more than happy with any sign that things are going to begin getting a little easier and that the mere fact that I would like something is no longer going to appear to be good enough reason alone that it shouldn't happen!

Bugger....enough already, whatever happened to life being fun just some of the time?!!