Motivation........ zero!

So, I have all this time on my own, I could do a million things, well ok, maybe that's something of an exaggeration but you get my drift, but I'm not, I'm doing what I have too and precious little more.

It's nice but it's kind of aggravating at the same time!

My motivation seems to have 'done the off', something that doesn't often happen to me and what I am doing I feel I am doing in a half hearted fashion much of the time. It's not hard to be demotivated I'll admit, where looking for a job is involved, the constant disappointment in there being very little out there gets wearing and the knowing that even when there is a possible I am up against usually hundreds of other 'desperately seeking somethings'....most of whom are usually younger and better qualified than I am. But I trudge on with that one.

It's all the other stuff, I just can't get myself going with my usual verve, I am always busy but somehow not as busy as I would like to be.

I'm not entirely sure why I am suddenly afflicted in this way but I suspect that having been given a break from the last years pretty extreme stresses my small mind has decided to take a little 'recovery holiday' and given up the ghost to some degree, much as as soon as one is on holiday from work one is hit with a heinous cold or some other yukky-ness.

I'm not depressed (believe me, I know depressed), I'm not miserable, I'm just on a kind of mental low power level...which would be fine and dandy but dammit, I feel guilty for not rushing around like a thing demented! I think that over the last year I have got so used to feeling stressed that as soon as the stressors are gone I feel a little lost! Probably normal 'habit' reaction I know but still damn annoying!

*Note to self - it is ok to be a bit lazy for a week!