Maybe I'll feel better once I've posted here, be warned, this is going to be a rant of what I would like to be epic proportions but for the sake of decorum and not sounding too sorry for myself, I will attempt to keep to a minimum!!
In actual fact I don't think I do feel sorry for myself, I feel more miffed than anything else and I think I am justified in that because it seems that whilst others are allowed their sensitivities and bad moments I am not, I have to plod on, keep smiling and pretend I don't begin to feel taken for granted here and there!
I really do not need to be reminded quite what a pigs ear I have made of my life, or of how dire my current situation is, I know guys, ok, I got it, I'm there, I understand, jeez, I might be stupid but not that damn stupid.... and just so you know, to keep reminding me is just not productive, in fact it's quite the bloody reverse because all it succeeds in doing is making me more miserable about the whole f*cking situation and consequently more overwhelmed with it all and less motivated.
I need positive input, I spent half a lifetime learning that and now all I seem to hear is re-iterated negatives time and time again....thanks but no thanks! I have no job, I have no home of my own, I have no partner, no money, real jobs are as rare as hens teeth, I am a discharged bankrupt, my car is dying a death, I just lost my dad and I'm trying to support my mum....yeah, I kinda know where I'm at in life, I say again, I understand, but I prefer to try and see the good bits, even if it is only a lovely moon, a bird on the feeder or to keep telling myself I will find a job even if it takes time!
One things for sure, negative input is in much more danger of making me not cope than it is of magically changing my life and although some beg to differ, believe me, I do know the power of negativity, ...and it's not a good place to go. I know my strengths and I know my limitations and whilst I may not be Ms. Perfect by a long chalk, I do the best I can with the person I am and that's all I can do. I am not super human, I think I have coped reasonably well thus far with the circumstances I have had to deal with over the last year or two but I do have weaknesses and sensitivities like everyone and I don't need them pointing out to me with regular monotony!! Really, I don't!!
Tomorrow is another day.....
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
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18 Comments:
Whoever it is that is treating you like that doesn't deserve to be around you. xxxxxxxxxxx
-Joanna
I think you need to trade in whoever is the source of negativity for someone who can offer support and constructive comments.
Jo/Kirses: Oh that it were that simple, things are however in the very early stages of being 'afoot'...and thank you for the reinforcement :)
just by reading your blog i admire you
the above post is from me...kat in the usa
Be nice to Jane week starts here - she does not need criticism. She gets more than enuf from me!
Kat: Thank you, that's much appreciated and it's nice to know part of me is seen as positive :o)
John: Lol..thank you, that would be nice but you don't...well occasionally but it's always constructive and invaluable in your case :o) xx
Negative people can be difficult to deal with, especially so if you can't avoid them. You could hold a mirror up to them when they start and ask them if they see perfection personified. Good luck.
Delcatto: They can and they are and I so wish I had the balls to do the mirror thing, however I don't.... but the thought made me smile :) Thank you!
I hope at least you made your feelings known to them...or do they read your blog? If so, they know it now!
Joan: Neither! Not my style, sometimes I wish it was but it's not.
Wow narky knickers - I hope I haven't rattled you! xx
Anon: As I don't know who you are I can't be sure but if you are the Anon in the NW then no! :o) xx
Yes I am the anon in the NW - so phew!
Oh and the reason the methadone users have to take it in the chemist is because 'them's the rules' - to stop them selling it for cash or illegals... xx
Anon: Ah....that makes sense, just would have been nice if I hadn't had to climb over them! heh. ;)
Heh @ phew! xx
If this blog provides you a relief valve, the rock on, girl. Rock on. I'm not sure how you have kept your head on straight through this, but I have to pat you on the back for it. Do what YOU need, and those who don't like it can sod off.
Bulldog: I'm rocking on and they can sod off...thank you for the vote of confidence :o)
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