Home alone!

The last months have been pretty tough going one way and another and somehow in my tunnel visioned way I had never really looked beyond getting the funeral over with...and when I had looked slightly beyond that I think I imagined that life would become simpler and I would get my life back.

Wrong!

I suspect I was a little over optimistic on that front or perhaps I just didn't look beyond to this point, in an effort to cope with the 'here and now' at the time. Suddenly however, life isn't what I had anticipated and instead I am faced with what seems to be the almost impossible task of finding a job and of taking care of my mother, who whilst she is coping in many ways, is requiring more taking care of than I had anticipated, my naively looked forward to freedom is once again somewhat curtailed some for the immediate future.

However, this week, in an effort to give 'the mother' a change of scenery and myself a break, my sister has kidnapped and spirited her away to the midlands for a week and I have the whole house and 24/7 all to myself and I'm loving it, absolutely no responsibilities for six whole days, do what I want, when I want, how I want and with no-one but me to consider!!! I had forgotten what this feels like and it's fab!

I love my mother dearly of course but I have done my share and a few days off is being much relished. In actual fact, aside from trawl the employment websites and go for walks via coffee shops I haven't actually done a great deal but it's the knowing I have the freedom to do what I want without worrying that feels so good! The being able to eat when I want, sleep and wake, go in and out when I want, all the little things that usually I have to think about and plan to some degree, that I am enjoying so much!

Now, back to the job thing.....