Today....

....life feels good!

Good in a way that I thought too often over the past few years it would never be again. Good in a way that feels real and is rooted somewhere deep inside me, is part of me. Not the fleeting good of instant gratification, of jumping up and down in excitement but of feeling I have got to a moment in life that I struggled for and worked hard to get too, through times that I wouldn't wish to see again. A gentle kind of good.

Life is about dreams and challenges. Not the dreams of winning the lottery, owning a car to die for or a palatial house but more achievable hopes and dreams, about setting ourselves realistic, if at times still seemingly very difficult goals, that even in the harsh light of reality, life might just allow us to live. To always dream of the unattainable is to usually fail, to fall short and face disappointment.

We can't escape ourselves, no matter how far or how fast we run nor how much we deny our own psyche, the person who inherently we are always accompanies us, all our fears, all our preconceptions, misconceptions and difficulties remain intact. We can only learn acceptance of who we are and continue challenging ourselves, but within that acceptance we can learn to see our real and very personal achievements and to feel pride in them.

I don't doubt life will throw me many more a curved ball, that I won't fall at many more fences or that there are those who cannot for the life of them imagine that with no job, finances with much in common to those of a church mouse and still with a long way to go I couldn't possibly feel good about life right now, but today I do.

It may be momentary, life is about only moments but I can truly say I would rather feel as I do at this moment than win the lottery or drive a Lotus.... because ultimately for me, life is about those rare moments of happiness that come from struggle and achievement in the smaller things that are very personal to each of us, for it is those smaller personal mountains we face and the allowing ourselves to feel and accept that are really what life is all about and what matter most.....