Yes, honestly!

Sometimes I so annoy myself! We are none of us perfect and I probably less so than many but there are times when my reactions and responses to a situation seem ridiculous and I wish I could modify them more successfully.

I am currently on the horns of a dilemma, it's really only a small issue but it's causing me untold internal argument.

This coming weekend there is an event I am desperate to attend, it is important to me on a personal level for a number of reasons that I make it. Hmmmm I hear you say, so what's the big deal? Well the big deal for me is that to attend this function requires me to tell a big fat porky pie. To be more specific the event is over four days, attending part of it would be pretty useless and so I have to 'throw a sickie' to facilitate my escape from work.

To date I have never taken a sickie in my life. Yes I have had one or two days off ill when perhaps with a little more effort I could have got myself into work but I have never taken a straight out sickie! Ok...call me sad.

I can rationalise and justify this one time bad behaviour in that I have tried to take unpaid leave but my request was denied out of hand, I have no annual leave left after my summer holiday is taken (we only get 10 days a year!), my employer is crap, pays only legal minimum wage, contravenes almost every bit of employment legislation one way or another and shows no loyalty to staff but expects it in return in bucket loads....but none of this stops me feeling as guilty as hell for letting them down. I know they have no-one to cover my absence and that they will lose money, yada, yada, yada.

Oh, and add to that I am probably the worlds most abysmal and unaccomplished fibber to boot. I have concocted all manner of plausible reasons and illnesses in my head and run through and through actually telling the fib but to no avail, I still feel guilty and I just know I am gonna sound completely unconvincing!

Ok......now is your cue to tell me that I won't go straight to hell for this one time misdemeanour and that just occasionally one can be too honest for one's own good! ;o)

Ugh.