This is one of the hardest posts I've written but I don't think there is going to be a good time so perhaps getting it over with while I'm still in pieces will help somehow, or at least mean I don't have to go over it all again at a later date.
So.....Tilly's position here had, for various reasons' become untenable and there was no option left open to me other than to find her the best new home I could.
That home is in Loughborough, the lady in question is the colleage of a relative and is (and it sees justifiably so) referred to as the 'mad cat woman'.....and she is just thaT, this lady is as mad about her cats as I am.
'V' is a 'cat mum' some years younger than myself who considers her cats to be about the most important things in her life. She has two, 'Billy', a 6 month old tom and 'Eddie', a toroishell and white girl a little older....she now has three, Tilly being her new addition.
I have tried to think of the positives in this situation but mostly it seems hard, nay impossible, when I miss the little madam so much but there are positives. The very first time I spoke to 'V' (on MSN, neither of us could bear to talk in person at this stage) I knew she was the kind of human I wanted to look after Tilly if I couldn't. She knows cats, she loves them, her home is set up perfectly for them and they are a big part of her life. She treats them as I did mine, she doesn't allow them out all night, she doesn't allow them out when she isn't about to minister to them should they be involved in some sort of accident.....and she lets them sleep in her bed..........something Tilly would hate to be banned from.
And so that was it, a few conversations later I knew that given I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer, this was the individual I wanted to take care of Tilly. Both 'V' and I agreed it would be too upsetting for us both if I was to hand her over myself and so it was arranged that my parents would take her on Saturday morning. All that left was for me to deal with the real biggy....saying goodbye.
Friday afternoon I did just that, and whilst I'm sure there are those out there who don't understand, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. In the end it was in danger of becoming a protracted and drawn out thing, something not helpful to any of us, so when the moment I had dreaded for months, finally came I gave her one last big hug and legged it out of the house and to Fletch's for a day or two.
As luck wouldn't have it the M25 was a nightmare and when I least needed to be stuck in traffic with time to think I was sat like a crying lemon for 3 hours, trying to drive what should have been a 90 minute journey.
On the upside thus far all seems to have gone well. Tilly didn't utter a sound on her two hour drive Saturday morning and when she arrived to meet 'V' things went better than I could have hoped for under the circumstances and cats being very territorial, as cats are! Tilly immediately got herself out of her 'carrying contraption' and greeted 'V' (who adored her) happily and when, a little time later' she was introduced one by one to her two new 'housemates', there was no flying fur. Instead there was a tentative sniffing of noses, one small hiss (thank you Tilly) and then they all went off in their seperate directions. Half and hour later Tilly was to be found reposing on 'V's bed!
Right now I still feel horrible, I miss the little soul terribly, I can't seem to stop snivelling, everything reminds me of her and the house seems empty, I've had a cat for all of my adult life and it's going to take some time to adjust but it could be worse.
It won't be the same, I don't imagine I will stop missing her for a long time but I will get to see her again occasionally. 'V' is happy for me to visit, though until I and Tilly have both settled a little I won't. She needs to feel at home in her new place and I need to get used to not having her around first. And finally, and maybe this is the bit that's making it all bearable right now.... 'V' has said that should I become able to home Tilly myself again at some point she would hand her back. We have agreed however that should that happy situation arise we would see how we all feel, Tilly, 'V' and myself, if for instance Tilly was very happy and settled it might not be the best thing for her to move yet again......'V' will likely have become attached to her etc. etc. We'll see, I'm trying not to count on that happening and view this as permanent, but even the possibility that this isn't a forever situation is helping right now.
Please, someone tell me the hardest part is over...because it sure as hell don't feel like it.
My apologies for rambling and for any spelling and grammar errors but I don't have the inclination to re-read this right now to check.
*Be happy little Tilly puss, I'll always be your 'mum'.
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