Why is it......

....that just when you are pottering along in life feeling like all is, if not perfect, then at least more than acceptable, something in the dark and normally uncharted depths of your mind decides from nowhere to kick your ass and create a day of serious disgruntlement?

I am as a rule a 'glass half full' kinda gal, I haven't always been that way but life taught me over the years (and there have been a fair number of those) that a half empty glass is not something to be cherished. Despite that, today my usual demeanor has deserted me, don't ask me why because I don't know but my 'glass' is pathetically lacking in any degree of content at all!

In a nutshell I am 'having one of those days', a tiny gemmak pity party is in progress in this corner of Scotland and I can't say I care for it very much. I have been doing the 'oh just bloody marvelous so this is what my life amounts to is it?' thing and stuff and incidents that normally are long dealt with or forgotten seem to be bugging me. The 'hell I'll never see forty again and what have I done with my life' line is playing in my head, interspersed nicely with little thought delights such as, 'where did my career disappear too', how come I am always broke, WTF happened to 'making it' at something and bloody hell I'm already half way to dead, well given my nicotine intake probably well over half way and I still haven't actually done anything! Well, unless of course you count two divorces, financial ruin and a bodged career as achievements. Hells bells, I haven't even been off this island since I was five! Gah.

Add to that I have bits that hurt from doing nothing, that five years ago I didn't even know my body had, I can't remember anyone's name when I need too and I have a fly the size of a bat that has been buzzing me all day, that I just can't catch, kill or mutilate despite attempting all usual courses of action. Oh and Tilly stood infront of me on the desk this morning and promptly regurgitated her entire breakfast, a large proportion of which landed on and in my keyboard!

Yup, I think I can safely say today is not a good one in gemmak's-ville and no doubt you are now chuffed to bits *cough* that you clicked on a 'gemmak' link somewhere, just to listen to my wingeing. My apologies, my pity parties are generally short lived, tomorrow is another day.......

Bloody, damn, soddin' fly!