Why?

1. Why, when I had my off day all planned and before me like a lovely blank canvas this morning, did the bearing in the washing machine have to choose to die?

2. Why, when having moved heaven and earth to get a new one delivered today, would the retailer not take payment over the phone by credit card but instead insisted that I make the 30 mile round trip to make payment in person?....this is 2005, a large national retailer, we have epos systems even here out in the sticks for goodness sake.

3. Why, when I tried to disconnect the offending machine from it's plumbing would the inlet tap not turn off, despite heaving my whole weight against the wrench?

4. Why, did I not think of applying WD40 at the start of the procedure instead of after a 30 minutes wrestle with the damn thing?

5. Why, having successfully achieved disconnection, did I forget that the washing machine shares the same waste pipe as the sink.... and empty the caffetiere straight down it.....and into the cupboard below?!

6. Why, did I decide that I couldn't tolerate said washing machine 'landed' in the middle of the room until the man came to take it away.....and move it on my own with an already knackered shoulder?

7. Why, did I get up this morning?

8. Why, are you laughing?