With parents like this.....

...some children just don't stand a chance!

Forced as I was to make a hasty visit to the supermarket as I escaped from work this evening, biscuits, I forgot to get biscuits at lunch time, one can't spend a whole evening biscuit-less, I found myself as ever stood in a queue to pay, Oh joy!

I read the CD and DVD covers in close proximity, resisted a spur of the moment purchase, yes 'Mr marketing man' we know your game, had a quick flick through 'Hello', just to remind myself how addictive dreadful it is I hasten to add and then found myself suddenly riveted by a conversation going on ahead of me at the checkout.

Bear in mind I was in Kwik Save, not good I know, but as the only competition nearby is barely an improvement I bite the bullet from time to time and tolerate perishables that can barely struggle to their sell by date let alone the use by date without becoming toxic, and the 'minimalist' display of items offered for sale on almost empty shelves. Hell, when are we going to be honored with the presence of a Sainsburys or Waitrose, ok likely never but I can dream!

But I digress. So here I am in a Kwik Save queue and ahead of me is a conversation being conducted a high decibel level between the cashier and a twenty something chav in full, if slightly tatty regalia. Shell suit, expensive training shoes, baseball cap and enough bling to stop 'Mr T' dead in his tracks, all in evidence.

The pair obviously knew one another a little and 'friendly cashier lady' had made the fatal mistake of asking after the welfare of 'chav woman's' small army of offspring, none of whom where in attendance. Chav woman began to extol the virtues of her two daughters at great length and with little concern for the cashiers now dwindling lack of interest in the conversation.

I won't bore you with the majority of inane banter that went on whilst she packed her goods at an extremely slow speed, oblivious of the ever growing queue in her wake, for most of it centered around calling them 'little buggers' or 'little bastards' and cackling horrifically at her own humour. Where I began to really prick up my ears was when I heard her say how well she thought the older daughter might fare once she begins school, a reasonably imminent event apparently. Her pride, as one would expect, was not in her child having mastered her alphabet early, being able to count to a number beyond that of her peers or of showing some other early intellectual ability, no, it was something entirely different.

Her pride was in her daughters ability in the non academic fields of scratching, biting, and thumping those who challenge her. Not for this woman a concern for the difficulties this may cause both her own daughter and those around her, no worries regarding child from hell's likely exclusion before the age of six and no concern as to how to rid the child of this behaviour....no, chav woman's angle was this: That her daughter will fare well at school, no one will bully her and she will never be the butt of other children's unkindness because, and I quote, "she can already defend herself like a fuckin' goodun and she's only four so by the time she buggers off to school she'll get no fuckin' trouble"

Nice! Heaven help the poor child!

My horror/amazement at this conversation must have been written all over my face, for as delightful chav woman eventually left and I walked up to the cash desk the cashier looked at me with a knowing smile and said "close your mouth you look like a goldfish"! Hell....and I thought I was hiding my amazement so well.