Purgatory

It stopped raining at last.........somewhere between the hairdressers and Safeway, I didn't actually notice the event until it was over!

I was forced today, by the imminent threat of nothing edible left in the fridge, to brave Safeways, well actually it's Morrisons now but that only makes matters worse. No Tesco or Sainsburys here, the nearest of either is 60 miles and even the horror that is Safeway won't persuade me that far for a few apples etc.

So I trundled, herd like around the isles, trying to dream up some culinary delights with the usual lack of enthusiasm and people ramming their wayward trolleys into my legs. Why are supermarket isles used as meeting places where all and sundry can gossip over the latest news, greet long lost friends and pass the time of day whilst causing a 'people jam', that the offenders are completely oblivious to??

This delight was preceded by another one of my favorites......the hairdressers! Women I know, are supposed to enjoy all the pampering etc. Me? I just want my hair cut ..... no chance! They have you trapped.

So having almost rendered me unconscious at the delight that is a 'back wash' and ushered me, on a slippery floor, without my glasses and looking less than glamorous in a gown and towel to my seat, I am presented with the obligatory luke warm cup of something pertaining to be coffee. At this point I am asked what I would like doing........er, my hair cut maybe?
'How would you like it today madam?
'you're the hairdresser isn't it your job to sort that bit?
'You know what would suit you madam, highlights, just one or two colours,
'Would they now, well thank you but that requires even longer in here'
Have you ever thought of nail extensions madam'?
'No.......If I want long finger nails I'll grow them'

and on it goes.

'Have you done anything exciting recently'
'No, I live in a field'
'Are you going somewhere nice for your holidays'
'Yes, but not somewhere hot where I can acquire a tan, so no, I don't need your sun shower either'

Goddamn it woman...... Will you just CUT MY HAIR and let me back out looking moderately presentable!!!