Ok....... so where is she?

It seems that 'small cat' might finally have realised that she who provided entertainment by way of something to stalk, pounce on, chase and torment, namely Poppy, is missing and is not merely away for a short holiday!


For the first week not a sign did she give that she felt anything was amiss, not a sniff, no investigation of Poppy's usual haunts, nothing, from the moment Poppy departed Ditto's little life was for her completely unchanged. The last day or two however her behaviour seems to have changed somewhat, she has been seen wandering around the flat slightly aimlessly, she won't go out, or at least only for very brief periods and she has, by her standards, become somewhat clingy. She is most certainly not poorly, her appetite is more than fine, her colour is good and her temperature is normal but something about her has changed just a little. Hell, she has even made half hearted attempts at playing with her toys, an activity usually met with disdain, afterall tormenting 'old puss' was much more fun! It seems that perhaps Ditto is now wondering where poppy has got to and her little face looks really quite confused.

Something will have to be done and that something is likely to be a new kitten. We always knew we would get another, it's just a matter of timing, we can never replace Poppy but we can have the pleasure of another little feline personality. Whilst I am still not sure if it is too soon PG is convinced that to have a kitten to love and take care of will be good for us and hopefully, once the initial 'territorial spats' have passed it will be company for Ditto. Afterall he insists, we are a 'two cat family'.

Maybe.....some days I want one now, others I still feel it is too soon, we'll see but at least I have got through two whole days now with only one small snivel!

Friday's feast (62)

Appetizer
Do your closer friends tend to be male or female? Why do you think that is?

Uh? I don't choose my friends by gender, if we are friends we are friends, gender's not an issue

Soup
If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be?

To be able to sing.

Salad
Name a household cleaning item that you would recommend to others.

Water!

Main Course
What do you strive for in life?

Sanity!

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how funny do you consider yourself?

Four.

How to manage your money!

Perusing the blogosphere an evening or two ago I came upon a post from Dr Rob documenting his frustrating endeavors when trying to secure a refund from his bank of charges something in excess of £80, the apparently 'reasonable' charge levied against him for going less than £1 overdrawn!

We have all been there one way or another, banks are one of life's burdens that we carry from the cradle to the grave. The dictatorial, condescending and superior attitude of bank staff is something we should be taught to deal with from our earliest school days, so that we are ready armed with suitable anger management skills for the future, but we are of course not. Instead we go out into the big wide world utterly naive as to the 'reasonable policies' many of our major financial institutions are going to face us with over the remainder of our lives.

All this reminded me of an incident many years ago when, green as grass, I attended, with my then husband, for a meeting we had been summoned too at a city centre branch of Nat West in Manchester. Life would never be the same again.

The building was an imposing one, high ceilings, mahogany panelling, deep blue carpet, big red leather chairs and at all of 20 years old, it being my first summons to see the head honcho and all that, I was a big little bit worried as to what came next.

We were ushered by an underling into the hushed inner sanctum and seated on one side of a rather too large desk. The sin wcommitteded and that had resulted in our now being seated nervously awaiting our fate, was to become overdrawn..... by £25!

After some delay the esteemed manger of this institution arrived, somewhat un-punctually and introduced herself curty before sitting down and going for the jugular without any further ado. This was some scary lady, she was at least 5'11'' and bore a greater physical resemblance to a rugby player than the average mousey bank manager....and she took no prisoners!

Having severely reprimanded us for a crime of such severity she set about trying to find ways for us to never again fall into the heinous and totally unacceptable situation of overdraft again. This is where things became a little surreal and whilst life was not controlled by political correctness then, as it is now, I found myself completely incredulous at some of her suggestions and one in particular.

We sat like naughty school children making a list of items we purchased at the grocery store on a weekly basis as instructed. Her plan, she explained, was to go through it item by item and make suggestions for savings! She had already issued us with the standard warning of the great wrath of the bank Gods raining down on us..... and was now into the humiliation phase.

We duly compiled our list and having gone through it at length she asked did I not every buy 'feminine protection'? Well of course I said but I hadn't thought to add those to the list, my mind was racing at this point...what on earth did it matter, it is after all an essential. Of course she had an angle and it was this. I'm sorry guys if you are squeamish on this topic but what followed was so horribly ridiculous it is worth repetition.

What brand did I buy she asked, uh? thought I, but decided best to be upfront and told her, Tampax, this met with instant disapproval. Her arguement was this and it was put most forcefully.

Apparently I was wasting precious money in my extravagant monthly purchase of tampons and I should mend my ways poste haste!!!!! She went on to explain, for all the world like I was actually going to do as she said, that tampons were (and probably still are) subject to V.A.T. and therefor an unecessary expense, whereas certain basic brands of pads were not. She expained further that when V.A.T. had begun to be levied on 'luxury items' tampons had been deemed a luxury (no doubt a man thought that little gem up) but so as to not penalise we women they had decided that a basic version of 'feminine protection' should be V.A.T. free (how kind) and thereby give us a choice....some choice! I questioned her further, only to discover that the frugal brand she was referring too was the delightfully 'quaint' and archaic 'belt system'...something I don't think anyone had seen much past my mothers teenage years, but which were apparently still availabe I was assured.

Thankfully I am not easily embarrassed but I still recall as clear as if it were yesterday my incredulity that I was sitting in a bank managers office and really hearing all this nonsense , I just couldn't belive my ears and what's more, in retrospect I am even more amazed that I sat there and listened!

So, next time some condescending young upstart on the phone quotes bank policy at you chapter and verse in their best 'I'm going to make you feel very very small today sir' tone, just remember....it could be a whole lot worse!

Lord knows what her suggestion would be if she could see my now unenviably large overdraft!

Stupidity!

© Who knows but not mine!

You know you want to!

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Not a care in the world

'Small cat' has more than mastered the art of the afternoon nap!

Realities and practicalities

The realities of life are sometimes not quite as we would wish and the practicalities even less so. It seems that now and again a situation arises that isn't anything like we would plan it but just cannot be avoided.

I couldn't post this until now but as the week has gone on things have got a little easier where Poppy's death is concerned and so today I can.... and today is the appropriate day to do so.

Those of you who are squeamish might like to abandon this post at this point, I promise there is no 'blood and guts' but it is a little less than a delightful situation and I can be a little direct.

It is a week today since Poppy was put to sleep and as a consequence it is not likely to be the easiest day for us but the anniversary is not the sole reason. It is compounded by another situation that is not one we had ever imagined or anticipate but has made the last week more difficult in a strange way

Poppy it seems died at a very inopportune time, in fact, to be precise about 3 hours too late. Apparently out here in the sticks all services, even those we are not aware of, are affected to some degree by logistics and deliveries to and from anywhere are few and far between in comparison to a town, this also includes pet crematoriums it seems!

Long before last Wednesday we had decided that when the time came Poppy would be cremated individually Yes you have a choice! For those of you who have never had to deal with this, there is a whole business in pet 'funeral' arrangements and that includes everything from oak caskets and marble headstones to burial plots. We don't have a garden to lay her to rest in and so cremation seemed the best solution. I couldn't bear to think of her just 'going off' and not knowing where she had ended up and so, like gemmak, whilst we couldn't consider the 'big hoo ha cat funeral' kind of affair we decide on a single cremation and to receive her remains back to scatter somewhere nice. This is usually completed within a week.

Not in this case, in our case (wouldn't you know it) the pet crematorium had just made their 'pick up' from our local vets, who incidentally are wonderful, three hours before Poppy died....and only visit once a week! This is where it has been particularly difficult for us....for a week we have known that she is still in the vets just a few miles away, still looking like Poppy, still as she was when we last saw her. The temptation to go and see her one last time has been strong though we knew that for reasons that I won't go into here, it would not be wise. Had she been taken away sooner it would have been so much easier but today, finally, she will be moved and I'm kinda dreading it and relieved all at the same time. Knowing she is no longer so physically close will be easier.

It will be another week now at best, until we get her back and can find a nice place to finally say goodbye....damn logistics!

If it wasn't all such a palaver and so sad it could almost be funny!

September sunset

(Clickable)

Nothing, nowt, nada!

So, the morning rolled on into afternoon and now the afternoon is all but over and still nothing, nowt, nada.......my head is completely devoid of anything, let alone sharp or clever ideas as to the content of today's post! Ok, so not much change there then I hear you say but usually I manage to drag some crumb up from the depths of what today is behaving like over scrambled egg, however lame it may be but today....not a hope!

Life is contrary is it not, there are days when two or three posts are easy, there have even been 'five post days' intermittently, so why on a day like today is there nothing, just a big empty space where my brain should be?

It is thus that this will have to do for today......a 'nothing' post is the best I can offer unless of course some earth shattering event takes place in gemmak's-ville in the next few hours, though all things considered, the small fact that I live in the middle of a field with cows for company included, I feel news items of earth shattering importance are unlikely in the immediate future!

Surely it can't be long now until my 'post a day' challenge is over and just once in a while I can have a day off..........

Does anyone know.....

...the whereabouts of the wonderful Truewillow, the url of her blog 'The Sum Total of Me' now goes to a page that is certainly not hers! :o(

Go see......anyone who knows TW knows that this is not her.

If anyone has any idea where she has gone too I would be very grateful for the information, even if it is only to let me know that she is ok.

I have mailed her but thus far no reply, though it hasn't been long.

*EDIT*:

Phew! Truewillow is found, she has moved 'home' and you can find her HERE :o)

Truly, utterly, amazing

I will apologise before I begin for 'banging on' about this again but I can't leave it unsaid, it needs to be reiterated, or at least I need to re-iterate it even if you don't need to hear it!

I have been truly and utterly amazed by the response from friends both in the blogosphere and in the 'real' world to Poppy's recent and sad departure from our lives. This little old cat and her 'mum' seem to have been far more cared and thought about than I could ever have imagined and the support I have found myself to be the recipient of has been staggering.

Too many people mailed me or commented with their thoughts and words of support to begin to mention them all, and many I think would prefer not to be mentioned by name anyways but I genuinely don't think I would have staggered through the last few days anything like as well without everyone's kindness.

Two people in particular took the brunt of it, aside of course from PG, and listened and responded to what can only be described as my depressing emails unendingly, sometimes at almost minute by minute intervals. Not once did either of them tell me to shut up and not once were they not 'there' for me. I am a 'talker' I need to talk about stuff that is hurting me and out here in the middle of nowhere that isn't always easy, the cows are fab but their listening skills leave a little to be desired! To those two people, and I hope they know who they are, the biggest thank you, your allowing me to gabble on almost obsessively about Poppy's situation made a very real and positive difference to how I got through last week.

There were others too, one friend who made an extremely kind and thoughtful offer, something I could never have imagined anyone would do for me, and so many of you who wrote such thoughtful and profound words. Friends have called me, family have worried and cared and a colleague who reads this even warned my boss to be 'kind to me' on my return to work and explained why....and the boss was kind to me, in fact so kind he reduced me to tears again..... but hey,it's a woman thing, contrary as ever!

There are likely people who will never understand how we can feel as we do about the death of a cat and I myself felt some guilt at being so devastated when there were world events such as 'Katrina' still unfolding but if anyone thought it they were kind enough to not say it.

Things have improved some since last week, we are getting more used to Poppy's absence and the horrible initial feeling of sadness is lessening. I can look at her picture now without falling into little bits, I can talk about her and smile and I even watched a video that a friend kindly made for me a few weeks ago and delivered today, without crying....much! I still feel some guilt, I still worry that we might not have made the right decision but it is all slightly less painful than it was a few days ago. There are still one or two things I can't do, I can't blog yet some of what I want to say about her, I can't put her bowl away and I can't remove her bed from it's usual place but in the main things are easier.....and that is in no small part due to 'you lot' and your unending and kind support, whatever form it took.

So again I would like to say a massive and very genuine thank you to you all. :o)

Ever felt like this?

I know it's probably a little 'un-pc' to find this funny so I apologise for any offence but today it made me laugh despite myself :o)

Ellen Simonetti files

Ellen Simonetti, the Delta airlines flight attendant who was sacked on October 29th 2004 for the content of her blog has now filed suit against her ex- employer for wrongful dismissal.

I blogged about Ellen's dismissal and that of others in a similar position at the time and am pleased to see that true to her word she is 'going the distance' and making a stand against actions I believe very strongly to be wrong......the inhibiting of free speech and the 'ownership' of employees by employers.

PRESS RELEASE
September 7, 2005
CONTACT: Kevin D. Fitzpatrick, Jr.
(404) 979-3150

DELTA FLIGHT ATTENDANT/BLOGGER ALLEGES WRONGFUL TERMINATION

On Wednesday, September 7, 2005, Delta flight attendant Ellen Simonetti filed suit against Delta Air Lines, Inc............

read more here.

A little on 'small cat'

'Small cat' seems to have been decidedly un-fazed by the sad goings on this week.

In the first instance I was concerned that when the time came for the dreaded vets visit on Wednesday she might be a little unnerved by it all, cat's being, in theory at least, very sensitive creatures we decided to shut her in another room whilst we concentrated on Poppy. We were also a little concerned that knowing Ditto's 'everything is a game' attitude to life there was a distinct possibility she might just blunder in among Poppy's last few minutes in a very inappropriate manner.

In the event she seems not to be feeling, even slightly, the massive void that PG and I are. Not once has she behaved unusually, not once has she sniffed around in that investigative manner that cats are usually so obvious with, she hasn't attempted to use Poppy's now very vacant bed, nor shown any other sign of feeling that anything whatsoever in her little life has changed!

All to the good, bad enough that PG and I feel as we do without small cat being miserable too, though a tiny part of me would liked to have thought she at least noticed Poppy's absence.

Today was my first day back at work, post 'very sad event' and in all honesty I was dreading it. My first work day routine without Poppy to greet me almost before I had stumbled bleary eyed out of bed, without Poppy sitting in the bathroom 'talking' to me whilst I showered and my first day coming home to a flat devoid of her insistent meowing for some attention the moment I walked through the door.

So it was I set off at 6am telling myself the 'chin up and best foot forward' stuff and deciding I had to find something positive to focus on. My positive focus was that Ditto can now have biscuits and treats, something she could rarely have before because the Poppy cat would thieve them and without teeth then choke. Lunch time I decided was the time to hit the supermarket and find some 'Ditto treats'

The first couple of hours at work were difficult, everytime someone said something kind, or asked how I was, I would begin, despite all attempts otherwise, to snivel. Gah. Eventually I 'got it together' and as the day wore on I discovered that, loathed though I am to admit it, the distraction and company of being at work was a good thing. Add to that Poppy was obviously never at work with me and so it is not a place where I miss her being quite the same.

Lunch time came and I made my way to a supermarket and bought up one of almost every conceivable crunchy and chewy cat treat I could find.

Home time arrived and I set off on my drive in part dreading going home to no Poppy but also looking forward to offering 'small cat' all her new fare. I made it indoors successfully (almost) distracting myself from the lack of Poppy, sat down on the floor with Ditto and began unwrapping her treats.

You know of course what happened don't you. One by one she sniffed, one or two she gave a cursory lick and then she promptly turned her nose up at them all and walked off....not one did she eat! Pffttt.


~ Sleep tight Poppy cat ~